BlameBush!

Liberal Larry's Big, Satanical Bag o' Hate Mail

It’s been a while since we’ve opened the Big Bag o’ Hate Mail, and it’s chock full of hate-spewing, right-wing nastiness. Light blogging notwithstanding, I seem to have pushed all the right buttons the past few months. Even the clergy wants me dead:

Pastor Chad Martens at Oak Grove Christian Church dispenses with all that crap in the Bible about the Golden Rule and writes:

You should be tried as a traitor of the state, and hung [sic]!

What would Jesus do? He’d stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and go to college!

In between performing exorcisms on autistic kids, GATBOOTY proselytizes:

To who ever wrote this crap is under control of Satanical Spirits, this is someone who has nothing better to do then to destroy himself to a nasty death....For surely to say that the Mayflower Pact was some kind of flesh eating orgy is a jealous idiot....For someone myself who's family has been here since 1640 and who read alot of the hand written notes from that peroid this person is certainly demented......Rabbits, quail, and deer were all over the place and it was veggies that these people lacked....not the other way around...keep dreaming you jealous perverted soothsayer.........make a movie..I'm sure Micheal Moore would love it especially the 9/11 folly about Bush.......oh and how come you didn't mention how bush commendured hurricane Katrina with special satelites to gear it towards New Orleans and then he went out the nite after the storm hit, he and Navy Seals swam under the lake and blew up the levies. Imagination like this is proof there really is a devil and you are it....

1640, eh? Very impressive. Most bloodlines tend to peter out after a few generations of inbreeding, but you’ve managed to pull it off for 366 years. It has obviously taken its toll, though. My advice would be to turn of Faux News, stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and go to college. Perhaps then you’ll be able to correctly read those “handwritten notes” and learn the truth about the murdering ways of your great, great, great, great, great Uncle Cleatus...who was probably also your sister.

NEXT!

Kent Schwiesow blubbers:

Your complete lack of intelligence and ability to properly use the English language is astounding. This is in addition to your inability to have an original thought. You have my sympathy. I salute Ann Coulter for her intelligence and courage, and I can only feel sorry for idiots such as you.

Please. Obviously, you haven’t even bothered to read Coulter’s book, or you’d have nothing but contempt for her. You come to this argument unarmed and intellectually impotent, my friend. How can one present any sort of rational, logical argument in favor of Witchypoo when they haven’t even opened one of her books and seen for themselves the litany of lies and hatemongering filth printed within? Don’t play me for a fool, sir! I haven’t the time nor patience for Coulter's tripe, let alone yours!

As if one ignorant Coulterfreak wasn’t enough, douglas bushman chimes in:

Larry,

I must confess I really enjoyed your atricle about Ann Coulter. It really made my day.

I have read her articles over the years and also her detractors and I must say you fit her description of the godless left to a tee. Your statement "Right-wing hatemonger and purveyor of hate, Ann "Nazi Bitch" Coulter" did you actually think about what you were saying? You who are the party of love and acceptance use the most vile language possible. Would the Savior of the world would refer to her breasts as you did?

What a fine example of Christianinity you are. You don't have the testicles to say this to the face of a marine in Iraq cause he would pull your pants down, and show everyone what a pathetic little coward you are and spank you execpt you would find this arousing.

I have heard soldiers describe the pathetc liberals are making the war more difficult for them and they see you as the gutless, whinning cowards that you are.

You don't have the courage to debate her points so you just spew venom just as she said you would. The hilarious part is she is totally using you to sell her book.

Keep it up, I need the laughs. It is obvious you have romantic feelings for her or you wouldn't be so wound up. The reality is she would never even consider you a man enough to date when she controls someone so pathetic as you.

Move to France and get you a pet Frog111

Romantic feelings for a wealthy conservative blonde woman who bathes regularly, has never had an abortion, and doesn’t want or already have a penis of her own? Sir, I am a progressive liberal. Don’t insult me.

Dave Townsend took issue with my negative review of the racist propaganda flick, Man on Fire:

Somehow I stumbled onto your "site". I will simply state that you are an absolute moron in every sense of the word. Thank God you are WAY WAY in the minority. Nutter.

That’s just like you cons. Always thinking in absolutes. I bet you’d get along just fine with this next guy.

Shawn Hare fantasizes like a true con:

Now more than ever I want to advance my plans to become dictator of the USA so that I can rid this country of ignorant purile turds such as yourself.

Have a nice day

First they came for the Turds, and I said nothing. Then they came for the Assholes, and still I said nothing. Then finally, they came for me, but no one was left at Jim McDermott's office to answer the phone.

Stan cleverly suggests I leave the country:

If you wrote this article I invite you to leave the country, obviously you are not happy here. Why stay in a place you are not happy. May I recommend Cuba, Iran, Syria, South Africa, Myanmar, and other totalitarian countries too numerous to name.

Thanks, Stan, but it’s up to me to defend this country against fascists such as yourself.

Actually gutless people like yourself should be thankful for veterans like myself.

You have the freedom to open your mouth and name call to your hearts content due to the sacrifices of us vets. The freedoms you have are a direct result of
men and women who had the guts to defend this country.

I would love to see you run off at the mouth like this in a country like the ones I mentioned. You would be either imprisoned or shot.

I'll be you have no idea what a real fascist is. Look in the mirror, theres one right there!

I pray to God that your hate will turn into something more useful.

God Bless You
Stan

Sorry for being rude back there, Stan. If I had known you were a veteran, I would have told to you to stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and go to college.

Here’s another doozy from an aspiring nazi jackboot:

Dear Gentleman (though I probably should not address you as such: one has to be a man before he can be a gentleman),
I found this site by accident and I am sorry I did. I was not going to give your misguided and shit-filled beliefs that could only come from a state of delirium any credit by e-mailing you, but I came upon the part of your site describing our "murderous" troops.
I am seventeen years old and am going to enlist when I graduate high school. I intend to be a Ranger and then go into Special Forces or Delta Force, so I was deeply angered at your comments. The only reason you have the right to make those completely false comments is because of those troops you think so lowly of. Men are dying for the principles that allow you to degrade those very men. In my opinion you are a sniveling, yellow-bellied coward who has no morals or principles.
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling of a person who thinks that nothing is worth war is much uglier. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight-nothing he cares about more than his own personal safety and well being is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made so by the exertions of better men (our soldiers,) than himself." John Stuart Mill was correct when he spoke these words and describes you perfectly.
Because of my belief in the teachings of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I have refrained from unleashing my anger in this e-mail and have been surprisingly polite and un-profane, considering the piece of trash (you, if your warped and delirious mind can not figure that out) I am talking to. Thankyou for your time.

Very unrespectfully,
Lane Cash Reeder,
Proud descendent of
Scottish Highland Warriors
and Soldiers of the Confederate
States of America and the United
States of America.

Johnny Rambo, joinin' the Army! Gonna be a Ranger, gonna kill himself some brown-skinned folks! Actually Lane, you have my respect, despite all that jingoist propaganda you probably heard on Rush Limbaugh and then proceeded to vomit all over my blog. Any guy who is in touch with his feminine side enough to wear a skirt can’t be all that bad. It's a shame Bush won't allow you to touch your feminine side any more when you get into the Army. My advice would be to ixnay all that Delta Force crap and go to college.

Oblivious to the irony, zac hare thinks I’m weird:

ok wierd guy i admit even as a conservative republican that some of your write ups a funny pending on the fact that i hope you are kidding. other than that i think your a frikin idiot. you should be happy our president is protecting our lives which i may add we take for granted. plz dont tell me you think hes an idiot for sending us into the middle east because with out
him doing that you could hve been killed by another mass terrorist attack. email me back if you have anything smart to say. but most liberals can
come back with anything.

A conservative
P.S. if your gonna have your own website learn to spell.

Gee, thanks Zac Hare. I guess with all the years I’ve devoted to getting university degrees, I’ve never had time to listen to Rush Limbaugh and get a REAL education.

I case you were wondering, not all my hate mail comes from drooling conservatives. Sometimes, one of our very own will drop me a line:

Karl writes from the state where Wally Mondale roams free:

Larry,
I'm a student from Minnesota, (incidentally a continuous Dem. state) and I have been reading your
blog for some time now. I have only a few things to say...

While I find it humorous when you rat on Republicans and our wanna be president, it's hard for me to rationalize the amount of heresay and just plain made up rants that you put in there. In your last hate mail blog, you said that you are just trying to have a "serious debate". That's kind of hypocritical, considering the truths that you stretch look like Bush getting sucked through a black hole. There is so much incriminating substance that doesn't need to be embellished, and I wish you would stick more to that, because sometimes your blogs gives Dems a bad name.

Karl

Hearsay and made up rants? That's a little harsh, dontcha think, Karl (cool name, by the way)? Sure, I'll embroider the truth a little bit now and then, but it's still the truth. For instance, I've taken some heat for saying that Bush drowned 1 million Black people in New Orleans, and I'll be the first one to admit that the number is a little low. But you have to realize that I have a good deal of conservative readers who can't count past the last toe on their right foot. Once you get up over five or more zeros, they tend to tune out. If we don't keep these morons hanging on our every word, they'll run over to Faux News. Thanks for the advice, though.

Finally, Johna became mesmerized by the Bush image on the blog and wrote:

He looks like a Monkey (sorry monkeys) and acts like one too!!

I h a t e the man

Finally, email from someone with half a brain!

With that, it’s time to close up the Big Bag o’ Hate Mail once again. Keep those cards and letters coming, conservofascists!

Liberal Larry's Big Bag o' Hate Mail

One need not look any further than the Big Bag o' Hate Mail to see how freedom of speech no longer exists in this country. Free and open discussion of the issues is essential for a healthy democracy, yet some people still insist on holding me accountable for everything I write. How can we ever engage in a serious debate when all conservatives want to do is argue with me?

Why don't you move to Cuba or Iraq. See how much freedom of speech you'll have there you a__hole. Your nothing but a yellow belly, left wing, traitor. The very idea of you slamming my President. - Doug Boyd

After I sent Doug a polite, friendly reply thanking him for his input, he fired back with the predictible knee-jerk conservative response:

You call me a fascist? that's funny. I'm a Conservative. I believe in the fact that every individual can get out and make something of himself because we have a free enterprise system. Unlike Jane Fonda and the rest of the idiots on the far left, I don't believe in Socialism, I don't believe in Communism, and I don't believe in bashing the President of the United States when we have a real enemy to fight that has proven it wants to destroy us and everything we stand for. Do I agree with our President on everything? No. Conservatives have spent money like Liberals and I'm sick of it. Also, all of the politicians on both sides are spineless when it comes to border control. Surely you and I can agree that the Southern borders must at all cost be shut. The Dems and Republicans are both to afraid to lose the Hispanic vote. The funny thing is most Hispanics don't like being called Mexican and they don't want illegals here.

The future leader of the Republican Party writes:

First of all let me say that I am appauled [sic] by your website. I have never felt more insulted or enraged. To refer to a College Republican group as a "campus hate group" is so outrageous and disrespectful that I actually pity you and all associated. You obviously have no idea of what you speak on, which simply makes you an idiot running off at the mouth. It is a shame that today's modern advances have allowed such incompitent [sic] persons, like yourself, to voice there [sic] opinion to such a large arena. It is unfortunate that many who read your site will not be as well informed as myself and will actually believe the filth that you have dared to print. If you want to blame someone for everything, then you are a fool. No single person, esp. President [sic] Bush, is to blame for everything. If there is any person to which blame should be attributed, it is someone such as yourself. Your sense of anti-patriotism and insolence towards the nation which has cared for you makes me ashamed to think of you as a fellow citizen. It is because of the so named "mass-murderers" in our armed forces that you are now enjoying the luxury of insulting them and their families. I am absolutely positive that there is not a single bone of honor or bravery in your body. You are simply using your site to hide your cowardice and bring down men and women who are much better than you. If you are so disgruntled about the state of the U.S.A., perhaps you should try living in a different country; but, then you wouldn't be able to express your ignorance and disrespect. I suppose that a coward such as yourself wouldn't want to try and print what they felt was true if they had to work for it. I therefore conclude that you are only posting this page because you feel that it is a "cool and moving" thing to do. I would like to see you try and [sic] print such things in a socialist country which you obviously would prefer, until you were there that is. I hope that you seriously reflect on your actions and motives. However, judging from your website, I am sure that you will simply insult me and call me a long list of derrogatory [sic] names. If that is the sort of thing that makes you feel like an important and respected person, then I feel truly sorry for you.

Sincerely,
Flannery Edwards
University of Rochester

The University of Rochester...is that a real school, or did they just mail you a diploma for tracing "Blinky" off a matchbook cover? Instead of just repeating everything you hear on Rush Limbaugh, try to form your own opinion for once. It's easy, really. Just turn off the radio,
go to the library, and read a book. And not Rush Limbaugh's book, damn you! Pick up one on American history. I'd recommend A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn. There are a lot of big words and no pictures, but it's perhaps the most informative and accurate account of America's bloody history since Schoolhouse Rocks. If you haven't developed a hearty, progressive disgust for your own nation by the time you've finished it, then I'm afraid there is no hope for you.

Sam spent three weeks tearing little words and letters out of Gun's & Ammo to paste together a thinly veiled death threat::

You cant blame bush for anything. he came into office at a bad time. if you could really blame bush for all your liberal horse shit than you are a scumb bag and deserve to be shot. People like you are the lowest people in the world, your lower than homeless crack heads in houston.why do you have to bash bush ?, because he beat yall liberals twice In the president election, or do you just like whineing like all other liberals. my opinion about politics is that liberals will destroy this nation. yall are all a bunch of bitches that got bullied when yall were kids or were poor at one time so you try to save all poor and weak people like your self. If you If you dont have money its your fault and no one elses. Inocent hard working texans have to pay for wet backs to live in our country and your kind of people think it is okay. your an idiot. - Sam

Matt Bell was so consumed with hate, he tied his letter to a brick and tossed it through my living room window. Seventeen floors up.

You must be insane. Referencing the invasion of Europe and how you said that we soiled French soil, if we didnt liberat them, the Nazis would still be in power and you would probaly be in some concentration camp crying like a baby. Show some respect for the men that died for you to get the chance to slander this countries good name. You do know slander is a crime or did they not teach you that in "UC Berkley". You seem to miss the point that Saddam killed thousands of his own people for fun. You are obiously someone who can only follow the rest of the liberals and not think for yourself. You might watch out because you might be under surveillance for your slander against this glorious country that happens to protect people like you who cant work up the nerve to serve. Who knows, you might be better off dead to everyone.

You chickenhawks never cease to astonish me with your cold, heartless cruelty. I don't know how anyone could have anything but complete love and respect for Cindy Sheehan, a grieving mother who lost her only son to an illegal and immoral war for oil. But then again, I was born with the capacity for compassion.

Let's see...we've had "wetbacks", "jane Fonda" and "UC Berkeley". Thus far, the Big Bag o' Hate Mail has been a cornucopia of stock conservative talking points. All we need now is for some right-wing moron to just cut and paste from their favorite hate radio jock word for word.

Right on cue, Tom Guess writes:

You sir are an idiot. I suggest you read the following column and read what REALLY happened at the King funeral. Making Sense By Michael Reagan

In a tear-streaked story in the New York Ti---

Alright, that's far enough. Please, Tom, if you want to be taken seriously, at least send me something by the more intelligent of the Gipper's sons, and the true heir to his beloved father's conservative legacy. His name is Ronald Reagan JUNIOR, for crying out loud! WHY WON'T YOU MORONS WORSHIP HIM LIKE YOU DID HIS DEAD FASCIST NAZI OL' MAN?

But Tom persists with staggering stupidity:

Larry, I see that you rely upon the same old liberal tactic as always. Rather than deal with the FACTS you have to resort to the name calling of Mr. Reagan and or his father. Give me an example from ANY CREDIBLE news source that what Michael Reagan states in his article was false. Oh - that's right you can't - so you better just stick with the nazi comments, bury your head in the sand and stay ignorant. Hey - I hear that Iraq has an open door policy. How about taking your liberal butt over there and see how well you are treated.

Richard writes:

You sir, are an Idiot. One only needs to read your assinine quibble for 3 seconds to come to that conclusion. Now do us all a favor and move to Iran. You would fit right in.

Two different letters from two different neocons, and both begin with "You sir, are an idiot". Rush needs to come up with some new material. He also needs to make up his mind. Does he want me to move to Iraq, Iran, or Cuba? Find out and get back to me, will you, Rich? Oh, and GO TO COLLEGE.

Last but not least, my favorite letter out of this whole sordid batch isn't exactly a hate mail...but it's still a hoot:

harry theriault is this you? talked to you a few years back, you did some time with my father, edward trzaska aka crazy eddy lol......

I had no idea why I received this email until I googled "Harry Theriault" and got my own blog as a result. Thanks, Che.

With that, it's time once again to close up Liberal Larry's Big Bag o' Hate Mail.

Liberal Larry's Somewhat Scrawny Bag o' Hate Mail

The Big Bag o' Hate Mail isn't so big this time. But what it lacks in substance it more than makes up for in style.

The first letter comes from H. James Herborn III, but don't let his aristocratic name fool you. He's probably working at Arby's to pay his way through clown college:

I went onto your website out of curiosity. I read your article on "Tookie" Williams and could not believe how your anger has warped your sensibilities. Tookie Williams was a murdering animal. He was the principal founder of the Crips gang, he murdered 4 innocent people, he attempted murder three separate times while in prison, both of his children are convicted violent felons and the list goes on.

Hey, look everybody! It's Mr. Perfect! Pardon me for not kneeling, but I didn't know I was in the presence of a true saint.

You conservatives are so damn judgmental! Remember what Jesus said: Get off your high horse and remove the mustard seed from thine own eye before casting stones at my glass house!

Herfleberg III rambles on:

I find many of your remarks offensive and wonder what you have ever done for the nation you call home. What contributions have you made to our society. Society is a reflection of those individuals in it. Your angry and unintelligent manifestos seem to be an endorsement of the very things you detest.

As an educator, I contribute to society every single day by enlightening ignorant minds such as yours. Or at least I try. The problem with teaching conservatives is that you're all simply too dumb to educate. Stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and perhaps you'll one day be as brilliant as Tookie. Until then, I suggest you save your opinions for your shrink.

Hafflebottom may have been thicker than a whale omelette, but Dick Smith can't even get the name of my blog right:

On your Blog, "Larry the Liberal," in your self-introduction, you write: "Larry is not a communist, but believes in a 'kinder, gentler, fair-market form of capitalism' in which the means of production and distribution of goods are controlled by the state. " Thanks for identifying yourself as a fascist. The DEMOcrats try to hide their fascism, but I commend you for your honesty. You DO realize that the dictionary definition of fascism is: "A political-economic system where the means of production remain in private hands but are controlled by the state through regulations, taxation, and other means." That's a right-on description of the DEMOcrat Party platform and OPERATIONAL philosophy. Of course, at heart, most of them ARE communists or socialists in varying degrees, but they realize to admit who they REALLY are and what they REALLY believe would be impossible at this point. Just give them a few more years to further dumb-down our education system and wait for the last "Christian" generation to die off, and heaven-on-earth--DEMOcrat style--will finally arrive. Of course, this collectivistic clap-trap--the "wave of the future"--is as old as civilization itself, having been the original politico-economic systems in recorded history, making your side the Super-Reactionaries. But hey! Thanks for the website--it's hilarious, and just proves that no one is useless: Even the worst of us can serve as horrible examples. Dick

How DARE you question Jack Murtha's patriotism?? I am SICK and tired of great DEMOcrat heroes like John KERRY, Max Cleland, AL Gore, and Jack Murtha BEING viciously slandered by chickenhawks who had better THING to do than serve when their country CALLed! Have you no SHAME, sir?

Finally, Diallohammed1 became the pride of the "special" kids class when he banged out the following line on the school computer:

why would you do that u stupid boom

Thank you, Diallohammed1. That's perhaps the most intelligent thing any conservative has ever sent me. You're well on your way to becoming a senior fellow at the Cato Institute.

With that, it's time once again to close up the Somewhat Scrawny Bag o' Hate Mail. Here's hoping it's not so scrawny next time.

Liberal Larry's Big Bag O' Hate Mail

It's the beginning of the busy season at Seattle Hemp Products. With the passing of the Autumnal Equinox and the Mandatory Office Meeting less than two months away, everyone is scrambling to get their herb harvested before the freeze sets in. Between the overtime I'm putting in at SHP, and the nights teaching at Evergreen, I haven't had much time to read or respond to the hundreds of emails I receive every day. So the Big Bag O' Hate Mail has gathered a little dust since the we opened it last July.

Bryan K. Phillips wants to save my soul:

I have come across your site by sheer accident. I must say that you are among some sad and pathetic souls. May God have mercy on your soul? Only God could love people like you.

If you're going to force your religion on me, Bryan, at least have the courtesy to make it a religion that isn't responsible for 2000 years of bloodshed and terror. Anyone who has ever stood in line at the food bank for half an hour knows that Christianity is the ultimate evil. Turn off the 700 Club and go to college!

John Williamson of Grand Rapids, MI not only hates my progressive guts, but those of my readers as well:

This is the funniest site ever. You are truly the most paranoid f**ked up individuals I've ever read anything from. I feel so sorry for someone who can't spend even a second of their life not being worried about how the government is going to take care of them. Thank you so much for making me feel so good about who I am and what I believe in. I can't help but laugh as I type this.

Perhaps we wouldn't need to worry about how the government will take care of us if we had a president who did it for us. Stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and go to college!

I have no idea what Mary Halley is talking about, but she's good for a laugh:

I LOVE BUSH. HE IS NOT A POLE SMOKER OR BABY KILLER.

Did you cut and paste that from Rush Limbaugh's website all by yourself, Mary? Gosh, I'm impressed. Now go to college and really knock my socks off!

A gentleman named "Carter" (and I don't think it's Jimmy), bloviates:

This website and it's article here are ludicrous. Bush Drinks blood from Hurricane Victim's Skull. Please!!!!! I'm not even a Bush supporter but you must be insane to believe that the President caused Hurricane Katrina. You must be insane to think that the President is hiding bodies. You must be insane to think that this natural disaster is some class warfare issue. I don't know who you are, but you are sick sick person. I mean come on what is this..."Will the microphones record the screams - the horrible screams - as Bush rips the head off a hurricane victim with his bare hands and drinks the blood from his skull?" No logical, rational thinking person could possibly believe the nonsense in this article. If this is a joke please respond to me with that information. Sadly enough, I don't beliveve it is a joke. I think you people actually believe this garbage. You all need to stop complaining about class issues, stop whining, and get off your asses and try to help. If you have any common sense or any education, then you should know that the President of the United States' duties do not include LOCAL policies, and knowing this would tell you that it is not a president's job to put together disaster relief plans for local areas. Study the constitution that our founding fathers devised for us and learn about the division of power in the United States. You sound like you are from another planet.

"Ludicrous?" That's an awfully big word for someone who didn't even go to college, Carter. However, there is strong evidence that Bush did indeed drink blood from a hurricane victim's skull. There's even stronger evidence that he didn't, but now is not the time to quibble over minutiae. Besides, even if he only metaphorically drank blood from a hurricane victim's skull, then it's enough to warrant his immediate impeachment. And he hasn't exactly denied drinking blood from a hurricane victim's skull, has he? Turn offo El Rushbo and go to el collego! Vamanos!

Nothing says "I'm completely insane" like typing in all caps:

WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE WEARING BURKAS YOULL CHANGE YOUR MIND..I USED TO BE A DYED IN THE WOOL LIBERAL..NOT ANY MORE! Marco Indri

I'd like to know what right-wing indoctrination camp your little Nazi brats are going to if they aren't already wearing burkas, Marco. Dressing up and participating in Muslim prayers is a wonderful way to learn about other cultures. It also gives kids something to do besides hanging out with right-wing Christian hate groups like the Cub Scouts.

Todd thinks he has my number:

You wrote this:

Bush spoke with a group of "soldiers" who were upbeat and optimistic about the war in Iraq and the upcoming elections - a complete contradiction of the latest CNN poll showing that a majority of Americans think we should immediately surrender and beg the International Community for forgiveness. Heck, I doubt any of Bush's pet grunts could even read, let alone peruse the op-ed pages of the New York Times for a clue about what's really going on over there.

Translation:
1. The majority of Americans who took a recent CNN poll have a better understanding of what is going on in Iraq than the men and women working in Iraq.
2. The American soldiers in Iraq are illiterate.

Man, that makes no sense. Todd A Veteran

I'm sick of educating you cons! Of course it doesn't make sense to an uneducated moron who chose to pick up a gun and shoot innocent civilians rather than attend an accredited liberal arts college. Like the bumper sticker on my VW van says: "Waging war for peace is like screwing for virginity." Just ask the thousands of virgins who died on Omaha Beach. What were the dimwits doing in Nebraska, anyway? The war was way over in Europe! M-O-R-O-N-S!!!

Finally, Sally Calder asks:

How many times have you heard the phrase “you are an idiot”?

Not very often since Grandma and I stopped speaking.

With that, it's time once again to close up the Big Bag O' Hate Mail. But keep those angry cards and letters coming in, you fascist hatemongers!

Liberal Larry's Big Bag O' Hate Mail

It's been a while since I've opened the Big Bag O'Hate Mail, and it's full of some real doozies.

[email protected] pontificates:

Listen FAG, I know you get a lot of emails about how f**king stupid and ignorant you are, and I think you get off on it, but, this I mean. I really think you're worthless. F**k you and your entire being.

Is that you, Gramma?

In between spewing obscenities in all caps, M Hertz wrote:

ever consider the idea that maybe, just maybe what drives bush is an overwhelming sense of duty... a duty to protect the people of this country, even goofy ass holes like you.

Ever consider turning off Rush Limbaugh? Sure, Bush is doing his duty. He's doing it all over the Bill of Rights, all over the International Community, and all over the environment. You'd know that if you'd ever completed high school.

Dean Hauer sputters:

Interesting rant,...if you really believe what you wrote,...your an idiot! Think more and write less. TTFN, DH

That means a lot coming from a guy who begins his ellipses with a comma. Turn off Rush Limbaugh and go to college. NEXT!

John Rogers snivels over my recent post concerning Bush's untimely siesta at the Pope's funeral:

I think that any reasonable person would conclude that bush is praying not sleeping. I'm not a bush supporter, but lets not misrepresent facts here

Look at Bill Clinton in that photo, John. Is not praying, is he? Why would the best friend of Rev. Jesse Jackson, a man who sits at the right hand of God, not be praying? Because it's not time to pray yet, is it, John? It's time to gawk at the hot chick in the sexy nun costume across the way. Bush is snoozing no matter what Rush Limbaugh tells you. Go to college.

Lee Pickett eloquently writes:

I cannot believe you are serious about all the stuff you write. I have been someone who has participated for about 40 years in efforts to feed the hungry in Africa, starting with the Biafrans in the late 60s. It has been my observation that most of these famines occur in Communist and Socialist countries, always blamed, of course, on droughts and other weather conditions. Strange thing is, the drought seems to stop right at the borders of these countries. How do they get the rain to do that? Vast right wing conspiracy I guess. A thought for you: if someone is expected to give to help others, he must have enough left over from his own family's need to be able to give it. If he is to provide for his family and have some to give to others, then he must sell something, used cars, vegetables from his garden, his labor as he works for someone else. This is the only source of money, in short, capitalism, based in self interest. Only if one makes money in this way, will he be able to care for self and others who cannot care for self, otherwise, one becomes a needy mouth that must be fed by someone who does have extra. Probably good hearted people are forever trying socialism, liberalism, and communism, and it never works for the simple reason that people that have things somewhat resent it when others demand a share of it because they "have more than they need". Put yourself in the position Bill Gates. The billionth dollar you make is just as much yours as the first one you ever made. The feeling is shared by all, right on down the economic ladder. The ones that want to "take from the rich and give to the poor" always look upward, certainly never at themselves. Take Teddy Kennedy for instance, I have never seen him breaking his neck to divest himself of his fortunes and giving it away. I don't expect him to do that, it would be unnatural, I am just saying that what the typical left leaning, liberal, socialist, says, isn't what he does. He just demands that everyone else do it. Have you read the Animal Farm by George Orwell?

Now I'm snoozing! Yes, I read Animal Farm in the ninth grade. Obviously you didn't, or you'd know that Orwell champions socialism, while condemning capitalism. Here's a clue, since you can't seem to buy one: "Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself." Stop listening to Rush Limbaugh, borrow the book from the library, and have your mommy read it to you.

Michael Martinez would be funny if he weren't so damn pathetic.:

Wow I just came from your site blamebush.com! Normally I am a very moderate republican who has no problem with liberal democrats and can get along fine with them. Hell I have some liberal friends and we have fun arguments about stuff and end up laughing it off. But your comments!!! WoW!! You actually bring out the inner right-wing-evangelical-facist that has been trying to get out!!!! Whenever I read your posts I just wish you were in front of me so I could beat you down. That one you wrote about playing the kazoo in The Passion boy oh boy I wish I had been the one telling you to please stop. And then you encourage me to do something by playing it again in my face!! That would have been a glorious day for extremists like me. After you would be on the ground in pain I would proceed to pull down my pants in front of everyone and take a hot steamy shit on your face! Ha! If you dont mind you think you could post this on the "From the mouths of the facists" or whatever you have on there. And also please reply with one of your "IM GOING TO TELL OFF THAT REPUKE or REPULIKKAN" or whatever the hell you dipshit losers say nowadays. And for all of us just post your address and a picture of what you look like! I am just dying to find out. But thats right you cant because of all the death threats you have probably recieved from right wingers like me. But what do I know, I am just a narrow-minded small town repuke who doesnt truly understand the way the world works like you. After all your whole outlook on life is "BLAME BUSH!" From the way you sound it seems like you don't believe in God. But when you die and you are standing there waiting to be judged I want you to think of me. When God tells you that all those facist right-wing evangelicals were right, I just want you to think of me. When I die and you are burning in hell I will ask God permission to visit you so I can say something like "Larry, I have asked God to please forgive you of your sins and allow you to be given a chance to be in heaven. And He said yes! You can come up now!" And right when you actually think you can leave hell I break the news that I was really lying and you cant leave. But hey when that happens you blame Bush, because he is the cause of all evil in this country. If a man rapes and murders a woman in a dark corner of the street he was obviously watching one of Bush's speeches with all the subliminal messages saying "Rape her.....rape her!" Isnt that right? Well anyway I didnt think I was going to type this much but you got me going. It was very fun getting this off my right-wing-extremist-facist-racist chest but it had to be done. Maybe you can make a Top 10 Hate Mail of All Time and put me as Number 1! Or hell maybe there has been worse than this. Anway I hope to see you in the near future so I can beat the living shit outa ya! Love, Conker a.k.a Facist-Racist-RightWingExtremist-Intollerant-EnviornmentHater- IgnorantRepuke-Nazi-NeoNazi-RightWingRedneck-ArabMurderer

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you our next Republican peeResident of the United States. Stop-Listening-to-Rush-Limbaugh-and-Go-To-College!

Jegg Gribben gibbers:

Great, Trash talking is more effective when backed up by facts. A set of hate-centered premises with only a skewed representation of reality does not make a truth. Max Cleland lost his limbs in a not combat accident picking up and unexploded grenade. That unfortunate event doesn't make him an expert on anything. Karl Rove has not been found to be a member of any hate group,(the KKK or Nation of Islam) while Democratic Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia was. I look forward to more of your insight in future blogs.

I'm sick of educating you cons! For the last time, Senator Byrd was in the Klan as a kid, but only to study conservatives and learn how to one day defeat them. In his 100 year career as a U.S. senator, he's had a long record of defending civil rights issues. He has considered blacks to be human beings since at least 1982, and hasn't participated in a lynching for years. So turn off Rush Limbaugh and go to college.

Reading Nathan Brack's email gives me the strange urge to go rent I Am Sam again:

You're a good example of why drugs are illegal...The "W" stands for whooped your ass. Take that hippy-four more years!!!!

No, the reason recreational drugs are illegal, you moron, is so Bush's big pharmaceutical buddies can have a monopoly on the market and charge people $900 for an aspirin while putting little old ladies into prison for growing a few hundred pounds of glaucoma medicine in their basements. Stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and enroll in your local community college. Maybe then you'll be able to string a couple of coherent sentences together!

Finally,...after reading this rambling diatribe from "SnowOnMeJesus", I had a sudden urge to go rent I Am Sam again:

we dont need you here. if you dont like it go els were. i see your wasting your time being bitter at life looking at everyone elses problems. what you dont understand is hard work. or being usefull. leave your computer for a sec and go be usefull!! or get help. what ever you can muster up the strenth for. latter. buddy

At last, an educated con!

As I close the Big Bag O' Hate Mail once again, I'd like to thank Damian G. for coming up with some great new titles for the Right Wing Fascists on my blogroll. He's fairly bright for a right-wing idiot,... although that's really not saying much.

Liberal Larry's Big Bag O' Hate Mail

The first letter in the mailbag comes from a young man who took the time to read two of my articles and write me a long, snotty hate mail. As an educator at a progressive institute of higher learning, my first instinct was to mock and ridicule him until he learned to mimic my every thought. This kid, unfortunately, had been totally brainwashed by Faux News and Fatty Pillpopper Fatso Pigboy Limbaugh. Nonetheless, I did my best to expand the few brain cells Duncan from Houston has left:

I came across your website today, and was just a little startled and repulsed [just a little? - LL] by two of your articles, Lessons Learned and Here Come the Christians. I am still a junior in high school, but I have to ask you, did you take sophomore world history? I ask this because when you say that Christians want to turn America into a fascist theocracy, are you aware that both Hitler and Mussolini hated Christianity? Hitler himself said that Christianity was "an organized invention of the Jew that must be crushed to remove a threat to the State". This statement is quite ironic in that not only it come from the foremost fascist of the 20th century but fascism is at its core communism, without the name "communism", and in all aspects quite similiar to the America that you are advocating; one that is Godless, has nationalized industry and all dissent is crushed so that a group of elites can rule over the masses who are too stupid to govern themselves. Also you say that America is divided, which is true, but do you really believe that calling people and just calling them fascists, bigots and other slurs will do anything remotely positive?

Dear Fascist Bigot Moron,

Alas, Bush's idiotic No Child Left Behind scam has left yet another child behind. Perhaps if you had spent more time studying and less time beating up gays, you'd know that Hitler was in fact a Christian and a conservative...and I can prove it using something you might someday learn in community college: LOGIC.

1. Hitler was evil, conservative Christians are evil, therefore Hitler must be a conservative Christian.

2. Bush is a conservative Christian who murdered thousands of innocent children. Hitler murdered thousands of innocent children. Therefore Hitler must also be a conservative Christian.

3. If Hitler was a conservative Christian, then he must be a jingoist. Hitler was a jingoist, therefore he must be a conservative Christian.

4. Was it not conservative Christian icon, Ronald Raygun, who put flowers on Hitler's grave?

Most importantly, lots of people with far better educations than yours agree that Hitler was a conservative Christian. I'd suggest you listen to them, rather than risk further damage to your tiny neocon brain by attempting to think for yourself.

At first, I wasn't sure whether Ron Hall was being sarcastic or not when he wrote:

"I heard Bush farted in the ocean in Indonesia and bam! A Tsunami. I cut my finger yeterday and I blame Bush."

Let's not be ridiculous, Ron. As the Buddhist proverb says, it is the tiniest butterfly fart that causes the mighty tsunami. The rise in butterfly flatulence, however, is a direct result of Bush's refusal to ratify Kyoto.

Mr. Hall then responded with:

What do you mean "Let's" not be ridiculous. You dont be ridiculous. Blaming Bush for a flesh eating disease? You have credibilty? I'm Buddist and I dont give a damn what any Buddist Proverb says. The Kyoto Protocol is a Joke and in the infamous words of Michael Savage, "Liberalism is nothing more than a mental disorder" and your website proves it.

And a man who quotes Michael Savage from memory is just overflowing with credibility. Do me a favor - swing around and pick up Duncan on your way to community college.

Gary aka Breezy was outraged that I named Iddybud the "Blog of the Week".

Are you out of your mind?!?!? Giving that hoi polloi cow free publicity is madness.

What's next, free plugs for that slug anonymoses? Good grief, they were a miserable tag team back in the old cimedia boards and deserve to fade into their three-name, oblivion they so richly deserve. But nooOOOoo, you have to post a "Liberal Larry's Blog of the WEEK" and direct unsuspecting netizens to her incoherent ramblings.

She does have healthy hooters though. I'll give you that.

As a matter of fact, I would like to apologize to my readers. I had hoped that by publicizing Iddy's blog, she'd be too busy answering comments to compete with me for the Blog of the Year award. It was an underhanded trick and it won't happen again.

"Absolutely chilling in it's cold blooded-ness. 'Sanctity of human life crap'? 'Euthanization of undesireables'? Didn't some one else have that idea? I believe his name was Ado"

C.S.

I'm a professym at one of the most acclaimed colleges in the Pierce County area. I have seventeen degrees, including a Masters in both Greco-Roman Clog Dancing and Midget Studies. Yet, I must confess that I have never heard of this great progressive philosopher, "Ado".

Then I realized that in your primitive neocon bloodlust, you accidentally hit "send" before you finished your sentence. The person you were referring to was, of course, Adolphe Menjou. But you're wrong about him, C.S. Menjou cooperated with the House Un-American Activities Committee during the Great McCarthy Witchhunt of 1947. That would make him a right-wing conservative and a fascist - quite the opposite of the loving, caring progressive who would gladly give invalid spouses and pesky in-laws a taste of the ol' Death with Dignity.

Ingrid was also upset with my Death with Dignity posts:

Gee, I was actually going to give you a try. I read your blog with some interest until I realized you were just another self-important, half-clever, and not-too informed pseudo journalist. Too bad you can't get your facts/ideals straight.  At at the expense of trying to appear clever, you come off like an idiot. I'll move on to someone's who's a little more enlightened and skilled. Sorry.

That really hurts, Ingrid, because the whole purpose of my blog is enlighten ignorant cons such as yourself. Yes, I'm often discouraged, but then I think of that gorilla they were able to teach sign language and it inspires me to go on. However, the gorilla has a vocabulary significantly larger than yours, so I have my work cut out for me.

You fascist. Go college. Larry give you banana. NEXT!

Are you serious or just crazy? Some points make sense but others got to be a joke.

Gavin W. Spore

Well, at least my mother didn't name me after something that shot out of Capt. Stubing's ass.

That does it for the Big Bag O' Hate Mail. Keep those nasty cards and letters coming in you dimwitted repugs - because if we can't educate you, at least we can laugh at you.

Liberal Larry's Big Bag O' Hate Mail

Three months after writing my provocative piece, Americans Are Dumb, I've received yet a second barrage of barely legible hate mail from lowbrow trogs in response to it. As first, I suspected my arch-nemesis, Doug Bandow, was up to his old tricks and was slamming me in the Wall Street Journal again. But the culprit was in fact a blog called The Museum of Left-Wing Lunacy, which waged a smear campaign on yours truly and packed the ol' mailbag full of seething screeds from right-wing lunatics.

Most of the hate mail followed the same, tired routine: Move to Canada, go back to France, Jesus loves you, blah blah blah." But there were a couple that stood out like fresh cat turds on a white carpet.

Darlene R. writes:

You need help. Have you tried a shrink? God could certainly help you, but you hate Him too much to give Him a chance. You call Bush-voters "hatemongers". Can you not see the vile hatred in your own writings (rantings)? Do you consider anyone with an opinion that differs from yours a "moron", be it political or otherwise? Do you have a healthy relationship with ANYONE? If so, what happens if they dare to disagree with you?

Just curious.

Oh, one other question...where and when did John Kerry get his 4th purple heart? I only heard of the 3 that he bamboozled from those in charge. Did he get it on Ebay?

Well well well, another CHICKENHAWK completely off her perch. How DARE YOU question John Kerry's patriotism? Sen. Kerry volunteered to serve his country in Vietnam, and deserves every decoration he received for raping, cutting off ears, cutting off heads, taping wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turning up the power, cutting off limbs, blowing up bodies, randomly shooting at civilians, and razing villages in a fashion reminiscent of Jinjus Khan. It's pretty slimey when someone who did NOT serve criticizes a war hero and belittles his five Purple Hearts, six Silver Stars with Clusters, and his Capn' Crunch Super Sailor Badge. For shame! SHAAAAAAAME!!

OldDrummer55 asks:

Were the aliens a bit rough on you during the anal probe?  I think you'd better increase your Zoloft dosage, you arrogant twit.  Better yet, face north and begin walking.  The Great White North Natives will certainly welcome you and your Koolaid swilling liberal automatons. Remind your looney left freak pals who made the pre-election emmigration promise to carry it out.  Please just stay there. You still haven't got a clue about what America is all about.  Luckily for our nation, the majority of Americans are on "W's" side. It's called common sense based on reality.  I'm typing this email verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry sloooooooowly so you will understand..

For your information, most of my friends have already fled to Canada on the underground railroad. Now before you start digging holes behind your trailer looking for a choo-choo full of liberals: "Underground Railroad" is a figure of speech. It's not really a railroad and it's not underground. And everyone knows that the aliens stopped giving out free anal probes after Oliver Willis refused to leave the mother ship.

"Janet and Gene Earl" sent me a blank email with the subject: "God you're stupid".

Then someone named "Keith" snivelled:

You need some schooling or something, maybe a shrink. Your facts are flawed with no proof. Morons like you got too much time on your hands. If you don't like it in the great USA, take your sorry ass to another country. I would bet your letters HOME would show a different attitude. I don't know if you know this or not but in 4 years you will have a different president. I would bet you didn't even vote in 2004. Maybe you should spend your extra time supporting our troops, yeah the one your buddy Clinton sent there. lol  lol  only in America, do we have idiots like you and your opinions.

"Morons like you got too much time on your hands"? Clinton sent the troops to Iraq? Amazing. I'm surprised you were able to type a whole paragraph with your forehead. lol lol!

Another right-wing attack dog babbles:

Larry, you are a moron who makes inane, unfounded generalizations.

I am a Democrat, a Jew and a Public school teacher with a Master's, and I voted for Bush. I refuse to let this country be run by people like you, Kerry, Dean, Moron, Franken and the rest of the nutcases who would sell America, Israel and freedom down the river to your beloved terrorists, France, Saddam, Osama and the rest of the murderers you want to pacify. Go burn flags with the Palestinians who you undoubtedly love.

Grow up. Bush is the best hope we have to end this age old crisis. You don't negotiate with terrorists, you bleeding heart, hippie, self-loathing jackass.

A Jew who voted for Bush? Yeah, right. After I informed him that he was a traitor to his people, he tried cozying up to me by taking a shot at gun-toting Jesus freaks:

Judging by your last name, you are Jew, too! Larry, I am not fond of the Religious Right nor the gun owning red necks, and that is why I am a Democrat (for now). But c'mon, the Left is putting Israel and the world in danger by portraying these savage terrorists as anything more than pieces of Mike Moore's excrement.

First of all, I'm not Jewish - although I have great respect and admiration for all Jewish people who vote how I want them to. However, Israel has become just a little too big for its britches. Things were just fine when everyone was following Bill Clinton's Magical Miracle Roadmap to Peace. Under Clinton's brilliant plan, leaders from both sides would come to Camp David once a year to be photographed shaking hands with the president, and then go home feeling all warm and gooshy inside. The Palestinians were happy. The Arab Street was happy. Even those Israelis who weren't scattered in a thousand pieces all over the asphalt were happy. Then that fascist, Ariel Sharon, came along with a big ol' bee in his yamulka about Palestinians spontaneously exploding on his public busses, and everything went sour. The Magical Miracle Roadmap to Peace lies in ruins. The Middle East is falling apart at the seams. And I'm afraid its going to get much, much worse unless Laura Bush wakes up and kisses Sufa Arafat on the lips.

The final letter in the mailbag is from Moderator Lauri at The Right Society, a bulletin board system where mouth-breathing neocons can pound their foreheads against their keyboards to their heart's content. I had been trying unsuccessfully for weeks to get an account there so I could throw some progressive pearls before the swine, but I think my moniker spooked them. I was just about to try one last time with a name like "KluKluxKyle" when Lauri mysteriously approved my registration and wrote:

i looked up your website...and here's a warning: you can discuss any issue here as long as you dont cuss your head off or call people nazis. if you cant do that, you'll be gone pretty fast...

That's the difference between the liberal and conservative concepts of "free speech", folks. Over at Democratic Undergound, they cheer me on when I cuss my head off and call people "nazis".

Liberal Larry's Big Bag O' Hate Mail

I was certain that after weeks with nary a single hate mail, my recent critique of Halo 2 would bring the mailbag back to life. However, while a few 30 year old virgins were angry enough to crawl away from their XBoxes and pound the Twinkie crumbs out of their keyboards, they kept their clearasil-scented rage confined to the comments section. Things were pretty quiet for a while, then in a space of a few short hours I got five or sex screaming tirades from drooling anti-choicers outraged by my posts on Scott Peterson and the Magical Miracle Fetus.

SLMCDOWELL took the time to write me three blistering letters. Here are the best two:

Why are you so full of hate toward unborn children? I can understand those who are concerned about what desperate pregnant women will do if it isn't so easy to walk into an abortion clinic and "get rid" of the "problem" they created but I don't see any compassion on your web site - only hate and anger. Toward whom? Truly innocent children? What is your problem with news media calling the child, who was fortunate enough to survive that horrific attack on her mother, a "baby"? What is she then? A fetus, born alive, is what if not a baby - because the definition of fetus includes the mother's womb and she certainly is not there anymore. I don't mean to argue - I'm sure you are much better at that than I am. I only mean for you to stop for a moment and consider - Why are you so angry and are you sure you are directing that bile in the correct direction? Thank you for your time and Merry Christmas.

Thanks for your email, SLMCDOWELL. I appreciate your letter and I am sure you're sincere in your opinions, however misguided they are. As I've said a hundred times before, a Woman's Right to Choose outweighs the fetus' right to a life. Since a "child" has already been "born", the phrase "unborn child" is a contradiction in terms. A fetus is "unborn" and is therefore "unalive." All this hooey about the "sanctity of human life" might sound fine on an episode of Touched By An Angel, but the fact is that women are better off without fetuses squirming around inside them. Think of all the mothers who have had to give up their careers to raise children. Think of all the women who can't march in anti-Bush protests because they're too pregnant to walk ten feet. Think of the poor helpless teenage girl who has to refrain from casual sex with complete strangers for NINE WHOLE MONTHS because of one little mistake. So many lives wasted and ruined because of a inanimate lump of goo. - Liberal Larry

SLMMCDOWELL responds:

I was wrong in my first assumption that you were just an angry soul - the truth is you are a very sick individual who's own mother perhaps made the biggest "mistake" of them all by not getting rid of you when you were just a "lump of goo". You truly need help - I hope you can afford to get some - maybe you don't have any "fetuses" of your own to support - little wonder why no woman would want to give birth to any piece of your genetic makeup. I do not believe that you feel hurt, rather it is obvious that you enjoy upsetting people. Maybe without female companionship, it is the only way you get off.  I feel sorry for you, you poor, sick, overgrown "fetus" (mistake).

After I recovered from that electronic butt-whooping, in came another one from Mr.Michael:

you are a load that your mother should have swallowed.

Laci Peterson murdered because abortion isn't safe, legal and madatory? and her baby you refer to is as "goo" because she was programmed to want to get pregnant ???

You need to seriously check yourself into the nearest mental hospital and get heavily medicated.  because you seriously are a twisted f*ck. and your stupid comment about a woman't reproductive right?  you ass.......Laci was expecting to DELIVER her child, which was her right to reproduce. Who said anything about anyone's right to reproduce was ever questioned ? The Republican side of abortion isn't to outlaw or overturn Roe v Wade, they are trying to stop partial birth abortions from happening, NOT all woman's right to choose. I would think if you were wanting to terminate a pregnancy you wouldnt' wait for the day of delivery to do it. I am all for abortion actually, because that means all the decent people like the Right will adore life, and respect it for the most part, and all the Liberal f*cks like you will be aborting children,  because we don't need anymore stupid f*cks like you polluting this country with your stupid twisted perception on the world. Merry CHRISTMAS ! ! !

Notice how the reich-wingers have taken up the phrase "Merry Christmas" as some sort of battle cry? They say it as if we're going to freak out and throw a tantrum because they're so callous as to utter those insensitive words. I went to a town meeting a year or so ago and couldn't help but chuckle at the morons who shouted "under God" during the Pledge of Obedience. A word to the wingnuts of the right: We already know you're religious fascists! You don't need to convince us!

David Waits quotes from the Bible:

How did you get so screwed up?  What a genuine piece of cultural dung.  Case closed.

Ok, now that one cut pretty deep. I would respond, but Joe Friday closed the case. I hate it when he does that.

Finally, Jeff Lanser of North Carolina found offense in a reply I made to another hate mail:

Below is an excerpt from your web site - a reponse you had made to Kevin Crawford.  I find your point of view quite fanatical and maladjusted:

"Glad you're happy. I doubt you'll be so jolly, though, when your daughter finds herself horribly stricken with pregnancy and can't get an abortion anywhere because Bush has eliminated a Woman's Right to Choose. Stop regurgitating Rush Limbaugh and go to college. - Liberal Larry"

It is interesting that you consider a pregnant woman as "horribly stricken".  Is this an attribute you affix to all pregnant women?  I believe that pregnancy is an amazingly beautiful part of human life and not something that should be "terminated".  Those people with ideologies similar to yours are what cause people to seek abortions and cheapen the meaning of life.  Perhaps we would not need abortions if people of your demeanor were more compassionate, caring, and less ignorant.

I wonder if your mother felt "horribly stricken" when she nurtured you in her womb?  Perhaps she now looks at what you have become and has determined she truly is "horribly stricken".

Well, Jeff, perhaps if you went to college and learned to think for yourself rather than regurgitate everything that fatty pill popper Rush Limbaugh says, you'd be able to go toe-to-toe with liberal intellectuals such as myself. However, since you're obviously too dumb to grasp cognitive thought, I'm not going to waste my time responding to your warped logic. Write back when you grow a brain.

With that, I close the Big Bag O' Hate Mail, as well as this blog, until after the holiday. Here's wishing you and your FETUSES a very Happy Kwanzaa and a Merry Mandatory Staff Meeting.

Liberal Larry's Big Bag o' Hate Mail

Since Bush decided to withold the flu vaccine from every one who didn't vote for him, I'm now fighting off a serious case of Captain Tripps. Therefore, I will bless you with another smattering of vile hate mail. Most of these came in response to my Americans are Dumb entry. In fact, I think that single post generated more right-wing rants than anything else I've wrote. So much for "compassionate conservativism", huh?

Mike wants to meet me by the fire hydrant after school:

Hey Asshole!! I voted for Bush!!!.....what are you going to do about it? - Mike

Well, Mike, as your hateful tirade shows, America is more divided than ever. Bush promised to be a uniter, but then he turned around and refused to cater to my wants and needs. What you and I must do is reach across party lines, try to bridge the divide between us and find some common ground. So I'll see you at the Not In Our Name rally this weekend. We'll all sit around a roaring campire full of American flags, and tell horror stories about 200 years of U.S. imperialism. Now that I've opened the door of friendship, it's up to you to walk through. You never will, though, if you keep letting Rush Limbaugh do your thinking for you.

Harvey Whitcomb bloviates:

Astounding, but all too predictable.  Keep it up.  The clueless attitude your website evidences will continue to cloud your mind (and those of similar philosophy) to the point that you will move even farther away from the American ideals and therefore from any chance to gain power over the people of this great country. As you wallow in your hate, spouting your obsolete, elitist, socialist outlooks you can't see that you are just plain wrong. That's good for the USA. It is my hope that you continue to spew your hatred for good men like George Bush so that honest people will see your true colors and reject your foolishness.

On the other hand, you could grow up and do something positive for America instead of just bitching, whining and casting baseless aspersions.  Naahhhhh.  Won't happen will it?

So keep it up.

Harvey Whitcomb, AIA
Architect
Denver, CO

That's rich coming from a man who designs prisons for a living. You're the Albert Speer of the Military/Industrial complex, Harv. You're the last one who should be lecturing people about "hate". Stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and go to college.

Ken Babbitt asks:

Is there a fund I can contribute to so you can get a one-way ticket to France.......And not come back?

Mr. Babbitt (fitting name), stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and go get an education. I suggest you take an American Lit. course and pick up Sinclair Lewis' immortal book. If you haven't learned to hate George Bush by page three, then there's no hope for you.

Kevin Crawford also suggests I move to France:

All right!! A website for losers! What a humiliating defeat for you America haters!! HA HA HA!! Down in flames!! Down in flames!! You whine like a bunch of little girls who can’t get what they want. This is awesome watching you squirm like little maggots. Go watch a Micheal Moore movie, move to France, cower in fear from terrorists, you sad small minded little man. Kerry? A coward who shit on the memory of those who served. Too much of a coward to throw his own medals, too much of an out of touch liberal wacko to even dream of being President.Gore? LOST! Kerry? LOST! Democrats are the official loser group of the new century, and you lead this bunch of cowards quite nicely. I bet you had the shit kicked out of you every day in high school. Enjoy the next four years. Man how sweet it is. How sweet it is. Hillary in 08?

That one touched me so deeply that I took pen in hand to write Mr. Crawford back...

Glad you're happy. I doubt you'll be so jolly, though, when your daughter finds herself horribly stricken with pregnancy and can't get an abortion anywhere because Bush has eliminated a Woman's Right to Choose. Stop regurgitating Rush Limbaugh and go to college. - Liberal Larry

Mr. Crawford responds by reminding me that he's a "mainstream democrat":

Dude pull your head out of your ass. Your moronic rantings alienated a lot of people.  Mainstream Democrats like myself see idiots like you running their mouths with these inane, ridiculous, paranoid delusions, and want nothing to do with it. You can thank yourself, and ilk like yourself for losing the election.  Micheal Moore and Al Franken 'statesman' ? Are you high, ignorant, or both? You are a joke. Enjoy the next 4 years. And my daughter isn't out whoring around apparently like someone else's daughter.

Sorry, Mr. Crawford, but Michael Moore and Al Franken are the mainstream democrats. Turn off Rush Limbaugh for once and learn to use your tiny pea brain.

So with that, I'll close the Big Bag o Hate Mail and go get some sleep.

By the way, you might want to check out The Commissar's Map of the Empire. He has me a little too close to that fascist Michelle Malkin for my tastes, but at least I'm out of missile range from Cassandra.

Liberal Larry's Big Bag o' Hate Mail

Needless to say, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl to get a letter from the great Mike Webb last week. Mike was the first recipient of Liberal Larry's Blog of the Week Award, and when he got wind of it the talk radio superstar decided to drop me a line to say thanks. In a charming email with the subject "You're so full of shit", Mike writes with the poetic fervor of Rimbaud, yet the rambling incoherency of William S. Burroughs on a mugwump jism bender:

"To comment on my "blog" is ridiculous. I don't even BLOG. My WebLog is just a notation of what guests are scheduled on the air and the occasional story that my listeners might find interesting.

But, you've motivated a topic idea about all these fuckin [sic] mindless, reckless websites that don't even fact check. We have a staff that fact-checks EVERYTHING befofe [sic] it goes on the air. That's why not one call came from the secret service over the BUSH LIE told by all the right wing bloggers about the bogus death threat. I never made such a comment and never would. I found your site only because a listener sent it to me.

If you have the balls, I might invite you to be on my radio show. Can you produce one or two coherent sentences?

Mike Webb, KIRO"

Dear Mr. Webb,

Thank you so much for your wonderful email, and congratulations on being recognized as "Liberal Larry's Blog of the Week". While it's indeed a great honor, I assure you that the honor is all mine. I've been a fan of yours since before you took over for Art Bell. The time you suspended yourself from that tripod on I-90 as a protest against rising patchouli prices actually inspired me to start my own political website. So I try to listen to your show whenever possible, even though it airs quite late in the evening when only meth freaks and pizza boys are still awake.

I agree with you concerning these right-wing bloggers who never fact-check their opinions. While you and I employ an entire staff of researchers who work diligently to provide us with every fact that moveon.org releases, so-called "blogs" like InstaLiar and Little Green Turdballs merely regurgitate whatever bile Drudge or that fatty pill-popper spew from their nazi mouths. If these GOP shills put as much effort into researching their data as they do into burning Black churches and bombing abortion clinics, you wouldn't have to devote entire shows to smearing swift boat veterans.

However, you may want to have a little sit-down with your crack team of researchers, because I never mentioned anything on my blog about the "death threat" incident. In fact, I had no idea what you were talking about until I googled "Mike Webb" and "death threat" and came up with a few obscure right-wing websites that talked about it briefly in 1992. In light of the so-called US PATRIOT Act's shredding of the Constitution and the Bush's junta's fascist crusade to crush all dissent, I find it somewhat suspicious that the S.S. never "contacted" you. I suspect that either you actually were "contacted" and are now covering for THEM, or you're sensationalizing what is basically a non-issue just to milk some publicity out of it.

If it's the latter, then you're beating a dead horse. Your loyal fans already know you're the Baddest Bad Boy of Talk Radio, Mike! You don't have to keep reminding us of the fact!

However, if you're indeed in cahoots with Herr Aschroft, then it would be like having a cold knife thrust into my heart. Or even worse - perhaps like a rusty prison shiv stuck into my liver. Could Mike Webb, the Ken Schram of our time, be a right-wing stooge? It is question I dare not ask, yet a chance I cannot take.

It is for this reason that I must regretfully refuse your request to have me on your radio program. We both know that Ashcroft reads everyone's email - the last thing I want is to be dragged off to Gitmo in the middle of the night because you named names.

However, I will continue to encourage any meth freaks or pizza boys who read my blog to tune into your show for all the latest information on jingoists, hegemony, black helicopters, and alien abductions.

Let me know if you need me to "motivate" any more topics for ya.

- Lar

On a more serious note, nursewriter complains:

Hello Larry, whoever you are. I'm not sure how I ended up on your blog, but your religious humor is not funny. One day you'll give account for every idle word you write or speak, and your knee, too, will eventually bow to the Jesus Christ, like the rest of us.

It won't be so funny then."

Dear Nursewriter,
I assure you that I take religion very seriously. But when I meet Jesus, do I have to kneel? Years of attending Ralph Nader lectures has really screwed up my knees. Do you think Jesus would let me slide with one of those square dance bows?

- Lar