It's Official: Republicans Hate Sex

Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice!  Bush is out, Obama is in, and a rightfully Democratic Congress is poised to pass a comprehensive stimulus package that will pull us out of the Great Depression II and put the Bush years behind us once and for all!  It's as if the entire world has wheezed a sigh of relief. For the first time in my life, I am proud of my country.

But when I woke up this morning, the Repugs had already ruined it for me. It appears that the few remaining neocons in Congress have scuttled a key provision of the stimulus package that would've provided free contraception for ordinary Americans.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF GODDESS IS THEIR PROBLEM? WE WON THE ELECTION, DAMMIT, NOT THEM!  AMERICANS VOTED UNANIMOUSLY FOR CHANGE LAST NOVEMBER, SO REPUBLICANS NEED TO EITHER STOP OBSTRUCTING OBAMA AND OBEY HIM, OR JUST SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND LET DEMOCRATS FIX THE MESS BUSH MADE! 

And if there's one thing that can jump start an ailing economy, it's FREE RUBBERS!

Think about it. You lost your job. They've foreclosed on your home. You have nothing left in your pockets but a couple bucks and a handful of condoms. So you go downtown and pick up a 2-dollar whore to help you forget your troubles. The hooker gives your money to her pimp, who uses it to buy some bling at the pawn shop. The pawnbroker spends his money on some more expensive hookers, who are freelancing to pay their tuition at Berkeley. Their Gender Studies professym makes a downpayment on a new hybrid car. The car dealership buys more hyrids from the manufacturer to meet the rising demand. Autoworkers get a little extra in their paychecks. Once you subtract taxes and union dues, they have just enough left to go downtown a pick up a 2-dollar whore. The cycle begins anew.

Trickle-down Reaganomics are a failed philosophy, as the current state of our economy has shown. Trickle-UP economics will be the way of our Brave New World, but it won't work if Republicans don't get over their hang-ups about sex.

Comments

[DancesWithBullets]

The problem with Republicans is that they hate children and want them to be a drag on the system. Nancy Pelosi has the proper idea of course. Abort them.

[Im.mad.as.HELL!]

Trickle that is an interesting work. As you will note on the link it mentions only trickle down and trickle down theory. No mention of trickle up. Upon further Googling I found a number of trickle up hit, about 132,000 (a small number).

After looking over all of them there is no mention of sex. So, just as Big-O and the Dem Congress this just pulling numbers and issues out of thin air. I am not prepared to say were the Rep's are pulling however.

[African Moondog]

Surely its time to forget Bush and rename this site "Praise The One".

The Dems must be carefull, sometimes things trickle OUT of condoms.

[Dodger]

In light of this, I feel we should just surrender to Iran.

[Typical White Person]

Sounds like trickle-on economics to me.

[Intellectual Conservative]

Condoms and two dollah hookers ... hey, wasn't that Yrysh freelancing for $1.50? Nahh ... the freelancers are humanoid ...

Why am I reminded of the legendary Dick Trickle?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle

:smirk:

[Fist of Etiquette]

Unlike the Bush Regime, the Obama Administration recognizes the opportunity to offer long term solutions to immediate problems. And like a tortiose to the Republicans' hare, our articulate and bright and clean and good-looking new president understands that the best way to the appearance of future prosperity is to start to thin the herd right now. This way, in four to eight years when the last gasps of free market capitalism are finally silenced, there will be fewer little mouths for the United States Government to feed.

Chicago may have a poor track record putting a good PR face on decades of unfortunate policy decisions, but the country as a whole needs to come together to see to it that the legacy of our first darker-than-usual president is the very shortest of possible bread lines.

[mandible claw]

The Rethuglikkkans oppose Labour Unions, and now it seems they also hate Physical Unions, that don't lead to anyone going into Labour!1!1!

They can't treat the Working Girl this way!

One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!

Oh.. too late..

[Menstrual Rainbow]

"In light of this, I feel we should just surrender to Iran."

The age of change is truly upon us.

[LisaB]

You forgot about how this will help the healthcare industry. I assume the condoms will be shoddily produced in China, with an average failure rate of somewhere near 75 percent. Thus, the increase in STDs and unplanned pregnancies will bolster Planned Parenthood, the pride and joy of the libs. So many ways condoms can pull us out of this depression and help us to see the light and ultimate glory of the Chosen One!

[feelthelove]

For the first time, I understand libtard economics. Instead of trickling down, the pissant gets to trickle up. I can deal with this upwardly mobile change in the economy.

[Im.mad.as.HELL!]

They got the STD covered with the BAILOUT SEX BILL of $335,000,000. That should address the leaking/trickling condom problem with the imports.

Wait a minute that means the money would be going to China for all of the condoms!

[irish]

First. Now bugger off.

[irish]

Don't tell me Larry has managed to delete all comments?

[wheezy]

Here we go with the accusations of censorship again.

[drunky]

This site is clearly dead.

[georgina]

Clearly.

[funky]

RIP

[munky]

Buried

[sniffly]

Cremated

[piffly]

Stop that

[hungry]

Can I have a barbecued rib?

[Fist of Etiquette]

ZOMBIES!!!!

[feelthelove]

Well, then, if this site is dead, where is the wake? I see the megatroll is back after their usual nanosecond thought sabbatical.

This site is alive.

[saggy]

I sense that some form of shenanigans are afoot.