At exactly 9:30 AM on January 15, 2009, a flock of unsuspecting geese was sucked into the engines of United Airways Flight 1549 out of New York's La Guardia airport. Karma, it seems, wasted no time catching up with the sinister aircraft, for it suddenly spiraled out of control and plunged into the icy water of the Hudson River. Save for the passengers and crew, there were no survivors.
Desperate for another "Joe the Plumber" to ruin Obama's historical day in the sun, the Right Wing Media is hailing the pilot of the Death Plane, Chelsey Sullenberger III, as a "hero". Excuse me, but if I moseyed on down to the local park and took a weed-whacker to a flock of endangered waterfowl, they'd lock me up and throw away the key - and rightly so. Indeed, in a sane, rational, progressyve world, Sullenberger would be frog-marched out of the airport in leg irons. Instead, he gets the key to the city and gushing adoration from the so-called "unbiased press". Worse of all, he shows absolutely no remorse for the lives he destroyed.
"After the crash, (Chauncy Goose-Slayer III) was sitting there in the ferry terminal, wearing his hat, sipping his coffee and acting like nothing happened," one eyewitness complained.
"That guy is one cool customer," a horrified airlines official wept. "He was...behaving like it was just another day at the office."
No shame. No guilt. No conscience. That's the mark of a true sociopath. Kind of reminds you of certain chimpy someone who is at this moment enjoying the last of his stolen days in the White House, doesn't it?
Sadly, both Charles Winchester III and George W. the Shrub will most likely never be tried for their crimes against either humanity or Anatidae. One can only hope that as investigators sift through the mangled, mutilated remains of the slaughtered geese, new evidence will come to light that will put both these murderous neocon bastards behind bars forever.
Foist!
Posted by: Intellectual Conservative | January 19, 2009 at 08:12 PM
You really are a sad sack of goatjism. Those poor little tasty friggin' geese ain't got enough sense to get the frick out of the way need to be ground up into pate' and sprinkled generously about the landscape. The ultimate 'recycle the stooopid' machine. Now, go clean the turbines for the next group of hapless little frickin' victims.
:)
Posted by: Willie Peter | January 19, 2009 at 09:13 PM
In light of these recent events, I feel we should surrender in Iraq.
Posted by: Jamie Jackson | January 19, 2009 at 09:26 PM
US Airways Captain Sullenberger charged with goose poaching!
See
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/01/17/us-airways-violates-federal-migratory-bird-laws/
Posted by: Mike Licht | January 19, 2009 at 09:51 PM
George W. Bush, John McCain and Greenwich Sullenberger. All pilots, all experienced at bringing death from above.
Does everyone see the bird pin on his fascist uniform? No doubt that symbolizes every flock of harmless birds he's killed. And since that's an old photograph, I'm guessing he's done this kind of thing before.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | January 20, 2009 at 01:29 AM
FOE, the way you connected the dots was formidable. I have another one you might want to think about: Howard Hughes' plane, the Spruce Goose. It's a conspiracy!
Posted by: feelthelove | January 20, 2009 at 04:38 AM
Oh, I fergot, FOE. The bird means that he is 'flight qualified' as if he is equal somehow, to pea-brained waterfowl.
Posted by: feelthelove | January 20, 2009 at 04:40 AM
Were they Canada geese caught wintering in New York without visas or permits?
Posted by: feelthelove | January 20, 2009 at 04:47 AM
It gets my goat the way the fascist corporates rape our environment in this manner: One simply does not treat endangered species like this.
You treat them like this:
/3 c. dry red wine
2/3 cup condensed beef broth
1/2 teaspoon dried leaf tarragon
1/2 teaspoon dried leaf thyme
1 goose
1 med. onion, quartered
1 stalk celery, cut in 2-inch pieces
1 large apple, cored and cut in chunks
Salt
Preparation:
Combine the first 4 ingredients. Marinate the goose for 2 or 3 hours in this mixture. Place onion, celery, and apple into cavity of goose. Sprinkle goose with salt and place into roaster, breast side down. Pour marinade over goose. Cover and bake at 325° for 2 to 2 1/2 hours or until goose is tender. Baste several times with marinade. Roast breast side up, uncovered, for the last 15 minutes to brown.
Posted by: African Moonbat | January 20, 2009 at 05:40 AM
I wonder why the geese were murdered. Could it be that the "Canada Geese" were actually American Geese who had fled up there to escape the Bush junta and were coming back now that St Barack the Changer was taking over?
Anyway I'm off to finalise the catering for the inaugeration, I feeding several thousand people so I just want Obama to bless the 2 loaves and 5 fishes I bought so that there will be enough to go round.
After that he can stick his finger up my ass to cure my piles.
Posted by: Menstrual Rainbow | January 20, 2009 at 06:14 AM
Menstrual Rainbow has such exciting inaugruations. Last time she was throwing fetuses at Shrubya and this time she is being fingered by the Messiah.
Some people sure know how to live.
Posted by: African Moonbat | January 20, 2009 at 06:28 AM
Thanks to all of you for defending our former president, a misunderstood genius, from a never-ending hoard of angry straw men.
Posted by: Surfer Joe | January 20, 2009 at 08:08 AM
Former President Clinton deserved every defense we could offer.
And now I'm watching the ceremonies, and it looks like the classless Bush is trading insults with Michelle Obama. The very nerve.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | January 20, 2009 at 08:40 AM
OMGZ!!!! Here comes Obama! I am sooOOooOooo0ooooOOO excited!
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | January 20, 2009 at 08:42 AM
The end.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | January 20, 2009 at 09:06 AM
WHERE'S THE FUCKIN SNIPER?
Posted by: The Exorcist | January 20, 2009 at 09:38 AM
Just checked - the ocean level is receding. Another prophesy fulfilled! And just six hours ago the ocean was rising! It's a miracle! St. Barack of Obama has come through again!
Posted by: Jay Guevara | January 20, 2009 at 10:03 AM
I can't believe John Roberts would intentionally flub the swearing in just to keeep Obambi from legally taking office.
Clearly Roberts is still pissed about Obambi's opposition to his appointment as Chief Justice.
Fortunately, there's a back-up plan for an event such as this.
President Robert Gates
Posted by: The Exorcist | January 20, 2009 at 10:17 AM
I went out and checked my car a little while ago. Yep. Tank was filled.
Posted by: Dodger | January 20, 2009 at 11:23 AM
Hey Moonbat: no garlic?
Posted by: Son of the South | January 20, 2009 at 11:56 AM
Looks like I'm not the only who went into convulsions after Obama was sworn in..
Kennedy Collapsed
January 20, 2009 2:46 PM
Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., who is battling a brain tumor, was taken away from the congressional luncheon in convulsions.
Posted by: The Exorcist | January 20, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Did anyone count the "Ah's - Oh's" in his oath? He was really rolling on his speech, did not hear one. Come to think of it I did not hear much, but I sure felt good.
I THINK WE CAN!!
On the subject of the thread. How much fau gras, roosted goose and other delicacies are being served at the balls and pagents in D.C. tonight?
Posted by: Im.mad.as.HELL! | January 20, 2009 at 12:21 PM
The fact that he didn't manage to take down a single skyscraper speaks volumes about his cowardice and lack of patriotism. I mean, even a hospital would have been something. How are these incompetant pilots making it through flight school?
Posted by: stoorat | January 20, 2009 at 01:50 PM
Well, the pilot made faux gras, not foie gras. I hear he was pressed for time.
Posted by: feelthelove | January 20, 2009 at 02:20 PM
How many times did The Enlyghtened BJ Clinton goose interns?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | January 20, 2009 at 04:26 PM