Book Review: Ann Bimbot Coulter's Guilty

The was a rumor going around that Nazi bimbot, Ann Coulter, had a new book out - so I checked my testicles and sure enough, they were the size of peas. Every time that venom-spewing slut releases one of her right-wing hate screeds, my gonads shrivel up like shrinky-dinks in a microwave. This, her latest in a long line of racist tomes, must be a real doozy because my family jewels haven't been this tiny since Sarah Palin put lipstick on a pit bull. 

It's like waking up in the morning to discover that someone performed gender reassignment surgery on you in your sleep. The bad news is that it makes it next to impossible to write an informative, comprehensive review of the hatemongering hater's book without it deteriorating into a series of catty remarks about her hair, or those bony elbows and cottage cheese thighs of hers...not to mention that bowling ball-sized Adam's apple. And she has the GALL to criticize Michelle Obama's pantsuits? HOW DARE SHE?! She looks like someone who just crawled out of a David Bowie look-alike contest in a concentration camp. The only reason the right-wingers like her is because she's so damn HOT. Ooooohh I could just SCRATCH HER PRETTY LITTLE EYES OUT!!!!

Whoo! There I go again.  My estrogen is through the ROOF right now. Can you imagine what would happen if I actually read her book? My genitals would dwindle away completely, to be replaced by a huge, gaping hole from which nothing - not even light - could escape.  That might get me a job writing op-eds for the Huffington Post or the New York Times, but it just try sitting at a desk with office products, heavy machinery, and entire families of undocumented workers spiraling into the dark vortex of your mangina. I don't know how Paul Krugman does it.

So as much as it pains me to say it, I won't be reviewing the hussy's book this time. In fact, I'm going to stay as far away from it as possible. If you value your chestnuts, I suggest you do the same.

Comments

[feelthelove]

Thanks for the warning. First!!!

[kb]

A few notes on projection:

1)"The bad news is that it makes it next to impossible to write an informative, comprehensive review of the hatemongering hater's book without it deteriorating into a series of catty remarks about her hair, or those bony elbows and cottage cheese thighs of hers...not to mention that bowling ball-sized Adam's apple."

The reason THIS particular passage is NOT satircally funny is that there is virtually no truth value. Most folks from the left actually DO read her scrawls, and then demonstrate her to be an idiot-ass know-nothing. The more energetic ones ALSO read her, and THEN go on to make comments on her pathetic appearance and mannerisms.

2)"Can you imagine what would happen if I actually read her book?"

Again, the truth value is again nil. There are concrete reasons why the left refer to her, correctly, as idiot, etc....They HAVE read, dissected, debunked, etc...and proved her to be an idiot.

3)"I won't be reviewing the hussy's book this time. In fact, I'm going to stay as far away from it as possible. If you value your chestnuts, I suggest you do the same."

Third reference to NOT reading, which has little to no truth value. Now, ANYONE who has been at this particular site for more than a week or perhaps month, not to mention years, knows quite well that this NOT READING is EXACTLY what the right never does themselves. If there is a virtualy trusim on this site, it most certainly is that the RIGHT are the ones who disdain reading. Therefore, to try and pass off a left-winger not wanting to read Coulter due to their aversion to her is little more than a transparent projection. SOmething perhaps bordering on the right's inability to read a single Chomsky book in the three or so years I've been coming here. See, the satire would be a little stronger if it had truth value. Say, were a Chomsky book to come out, and you pretended to be a right wing drooler trying to make the same argument it would be satirically more powerful as the truth value would be about 100%. I mean, just to let you know.

[Intellectual Conservative]

Larry, this is one of the most disturbing yet funny posts I've seen you do in a long time. I'm just glad you didn't do a redux of Lyle Alzado's shrunken nads like you did before. As it is, I need a good pint of brain bleach from the visuals ... very very well done :)

Question for the men (and women here, if it applies) .. Is Ann Coulter on your would do sober list?

[Intellectual Conservative]

KB, how many polar bears just died so you could write that drivel?

Remember, activism is only effective if it actually works. You and your fellow trolls haven't convinced one person here, and you probably never will. So, if that study is accurate, then you just added to the planet's CO2 by doing your vomiting here.

:smirk:

[Im.mad.as.HELL!]

I know, I know!! Have a transvestite review it. I mean the book not your PEAS. Although I am sure he/she would not mind looking at both.

Your description of her sounds like a love/hate relationship. Have you been skipping your couch time lately?

Oh will, I know you glands will recover on the 20th, HALLELUJAH

[Im.mad.as.HELL!]

Get this, Larry begs off on doing Coulter's book review and KB reviews Larry's PEAS!

It sure is clear you don't know the first thing about anything much less SATIRE or SARCASM.

PS Don't both replying I won't answer your lack of SATIRE.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I also prefer to have my gender reassignment surgery done while I'm wide awake. That way, I can tell my girlfriend/surgeon what she's doing wrong.

Those dudes on The View really gave ol' Adolph Coulter what she had coming. Personally, I think those guys should have just brought a picture of Coulter (R-Isle of Lesbos) onstage and screeched at that for fifteen straight minutes. But I guess since she's the only female on the panel, the fellows had to give in to Hasselbeck and invite the real Coulter on and let the two ladies do some tag team, rightwing hate spewing.

*********

On a personal note, I would just like to thank Chomstein for resisting the opportunity to throw up another Lyle Alzado pic.

[feelthelove]

Speaking of the dudes on The View, I sure liked Whoopie Goldberg's man-voice change operation. Is that a new thing in Hollyweird? Keep the gender but change the voice? Or is it caused by too much smoking? Not only that, Ann raised an extremely valid point which went over the heads of Babwa Wawa and the rest of the Harpies: Government intervention in societal/familial issues. It was not about the single mothers; it was about compassionate government intrusion intervention. She just documented the failure of it, much to the annoyance of the screeching left.

[toolittle toolate]

Q: How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!

[aelfheld]

I didn't know Ann had graced us with another tome. That would explain the recent 'increase', if you catch my drift.

[Dodger]

In light of this, I feel we should just surrender in Iraq.

[Bush4Ever]

True Lyberals, I mean, Progressyves, call hyr: Mann KKKoulter.

[24]

Gosh, how terribly funny ...
I'm rolling around laughing.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm typing on my computer.

[durr kommissar]

I too lack any sense of humor and didn't find anything in Chomstein's most recent post funny at all.

I'll be back again tommorow to not laugh again. And, the day after that as well. And, the day after that. The weekend is looking a little busy at the moment, but I'll try and stop by to not laugh for a few minutes if I get the chance. I'm taking all of next week off from work, though, so I can devote several hours each day not laughing at all the unfunny posts at this blog.

[Babwa Wawa]

"If you value your chestnuts, you'll do the same."--the Professym

Ann Coulter has chestnuts instead of testicles. All puerile adolescent right wingers know this. It is the left that gets confused only because they want to be politically correct instead of accurate. This means we are more sensytyve and caring than the right, in spite of the inaccuracies and confusion we embrace.

[36DD]

"All puerile adolescent right wingers know this."

.. and anyone who hangs around BB is very familiar with puerile adolescent right wingers.

[meuble]

"I'm taking all of next week off from work, though, so I can devote several hours each day not laughing at all the unfunny posts at this blog."
-durr kommissar

Mein Gott! giv me ein Glock und i vil exterminate zis very veird person!

[36DD]

Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donations today.

[38DD]

Um, Larry, how many polar bears just died so you could write that drivel?

[Intellectual Conservative]

Um, here's why the polar bears thing doesn't fly here ..

We don't believe in Gorebull Warming here. Therefore, we're not violating our principles by making the servers go insane with postings, thereby demanding more electricity, thereby increasing global warming. Since we don't believe in the premise of GW being primarily manmade, we're not being hypocrites.

And it amuses me to no end that the lefties here, in the name of fruitless 'activism' try and do these interminably long posts which have exactly zero effect. Which means they obviously don't care about CO2 levels or the supposed drowing polar bears. Which, um, does spell HYPOCRISY rather loudly.

:smirk:

[24]

"Um, here's why the polar bears thing doesn't fly here .."

Um, we *know* why your stupid polar bear thing doesn't fly here, we've already explained that, moron. And I see someone else told you the same on the Rott.

Stop boring everyone to death.

[38DD]

Have a nice day all!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Chomstein, when was the last time you had your testicle gauge calibrated? You could be at Matt Lauer right now and not even know it.

[Dodger]

Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

STOP FORCING YOUR RELIGION ON ME!!!!!11!!!!1!!!