BlameBush!

Yes Virginia, There is a Muntadhar al-Zaidi

I crawled out of my flotation tank this morning after a long winter's nap, and I was a little disheartened to not find any holiday gift packages on my doorstep. I guess with Bush's economy in the crapper, people just aren't filled with the Winter Solstice spirit this year. But when I got online and saw the now famous video taken at another Bush Baghdad photo op, it was like the early vernal equinox had come early to the Chomstein household.

"This is a farewell kiss from the Iraqi people, you dog," Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi shouted in Arabic as he tossed a pair of size 10 Buster Browns at the cowering Shrub. "This is for the widows and orphans and all those killed in Iraq so you could steal our oil and give tax cuts to the wealthiest one percent of Americans!"

Being pelted with shoes is considered a grave insult in Islamic cultures, but in the West only women and effeminate men throw their footwear when they're pissed off about something. So al-Zaidi's courageous outburst struck a chord with Progressives here in the states. The RethugniKKKans can have Joe the Plumber (and all his personal records back, too). At last, WE have a regular human being that WE can identify with, someone who puts a voice to our anger and speaks the words we have longed to be spoken, but that no one would hear. Best of all, he hasn't exploded in a crowded market or sawed someone's head off on the internet yet.

So here's to Muntadhar al-Zaidi, Man of the People. There's a Pulitzer Prize and a job waiting for him at CNN if he ever gets out of Bush's torture chamber.

Dec. 10 is National Gay the Day Away Day

In an organized protest against California's Proposition 8 (i.e. The Gay Holocaust), gays and lesbians across the world will walk off their jobs tomorrow. So if you need your hair done or your condo redecorated, do it tonight.

I was planning on taking the day off, too, but my bigot of a boss informed me that since I'm not gay, but merely metrosexual, I would have to come in to work. Suddenly, I know how the Jews in Nazi Germany must have felt.

So to show solidarity with my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, I am refusing to whine, whimper, sashay, simper, nance or prance for the remainder of the week. I'd ask to all to join in, but I've vowed not to stage any organized hissy fits, either.

That'll show those breeding bastards!!

Bush Spying on Mumbai "Terrorists"

In the wake of the recent violence in Mumbai, U.S. intelligence agencies confessed to having warned Native American authorities that an attack was imminent.

Well, too little, too late, fellas. If the so-called "terrorists" had known that Bush was listening in on their phone calls, they probably would've called the whole thing off weeks ago. But the Shrub kept it all a big secret, and now hundreds of innocent people are dead - including the so-called "terrorists".

This is this problem inherent with Bush's domestic spying program as well. Even if he was actually eavesdropping on so-called "terrorists" and not on working families, the shroud of secrecy surrounding such a scheme wouldn't discourage any attacks. In fact, it would instill so-called "terrorists" with a sense of confidence that their plotting had gone undetected. Bush may think he's saving lives by spying on so-called "terrorists" without their knowledge, but he's really just setting us all up for another Mumbai.

Oh well. When Obama assumes the throne next month, Bush's high crimes will all be a thing of the past...as will that distinctive clicking sound I hear in the background whenever Nancy Pelosi and I are having phone sex.