It's generally known that active military personel, isolated as they are from current events and the educational assistance of the mainstream media, are just too ignorant to be trusted with a decision as important as choosing our President - a fact proven by their tendency to overwhelmingly vote Republican. Bush's theft of the elections in both 2000 and 2004, for example, was blamed on the military vote.
Regretfully, we haven't learned from the mistakes of the past. A few military votes slipped through the cracks and were accidentally counted this year as well...but John McSame actually wants to count more. Absentee ballots mailed out to troops serving overseas yesterday might not make it back by today's deadline, and McSame is suing to have the deadline extended.
It's funny how these right-wingers wouldn't bend the rules to ensure the votes of our own citizens were counted in Florida, but they have no problems doing so to accommodate people who don't even live here.
How vile. Not only that, when military personnel register absentee, especially in a *swing* (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) state like California, the Voter's commission like to triple check the ID of the military member. It isn't enough to have a copy of their orders, but a stool sample, blood sample, retina scan and a promise of the first born child has to be given in order to get a ballot...four months later. Whereas military spouses can get theirs on overnight delivery, even if both applications were sent in at the same time, two months before election day.
Posted by: Mdme. LaFarge | November 04, 2008 at 04:59 PM
KILL HIM!
No need to worry, my friends. Just putting the finishing touches on my concession speech.
(My name is John McCain and I approve this message.)
Posted by: The Exorcist | November 04, 2008 at 05:02 PM
It's funny how these right-wingers wouldn't bend the rules to ensure the votes of our own citizens were counted in Florida...
You're still talking about the 2008 Democratic Primary? Give it a rest already, Chomstein.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | November 04, 2008 at 05:07 PM
"KILL HIM!"
I've read that somewhere before ...
Posted by: brandy | November 04, 2008 at 05:38 PM
I wonder how many people will actually die tonight because of this election,
you know...the utter euphoria will drive people to fire bullets,
turn over and burn cars, smash windows, assault anyone who isn't grinning.
Posted by: outofajob | November 04, 2008 at 06:06 PM
"It's funny how these right-wingers wouldn't bend the rules to ensure the votes of our own citizens were counted in Florida, but they have no problems doing so to accommodate people who don't even live here."
I think you should have said "...to ensure the vote of our own citizens were counted (and counted, and counted, and recounted, and recounted) in Florida..."
But I wonder, what of "voter intent" this year? Surely we must assume that at least 20% or so of those votes counted for McSame must have MEANT to vote Obama and have those recounted, yes?
Posted by: ExTXBigot | November 04, 2008 at 06:14 PM
Like it matters...
9:01, West coast, Headlines: OBAMA SHOT BY THE KKK!
Posted by: Nick W | November 04, 2008 at 06:54 PM
You know, I don't like Obama for many reasons. The biggest one is that from what I have seen and read about him, on his site and in the news reports is that he is a bigger proponent of tax increases than John McCain. But to even joke about assassination...that's way out of line. Vote him and his adherents out.
Posted by: Cricket | November 04, 2008 at 08:15 PM
A what proponent of tax increases???
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | November 04, 2008 at 08:34 PM
I can't waitfor Chairman O-bobo's State of the Union Address. We will get guidance on the new first amendment.
Posted by: FOP | November 04, 2008 at 10:14 PM
Posted by: Mdme. LaFarge | November 04, 2008 at 04:59 PM
Meh, not seeing a problem. Driver's licence checks for Democrat voters would be racist, though.
Posted by: mandible claw | November 04, 2008 at 10:20 PM
A what proponent of tax increases???
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | November 04, 2008 at 08:34 PM
Oh, snap. Kudos for that one ;)
@ Cricket: Meeeechelle Obama practically said as much, that Barack Obama as a black man could be shot going to the gas station (presumably because a white person stumbling onto an armed robbery is invulnerable to bullets by dint of their racism and white privelege. Koreans or Cubans don't really count as people in the compendium of the left's perpetual victims, so it's not a fair comparison.) As for being shot by the KKK, it's not only not an unlikely scenario, it's almost certain that some bitter gun-clinging racist redneck homophobe will hitch up his denim coveralls and slap on his trucker hat and head of to Washin'ton to pop a cap in that uppity Peeresident type with his skeet shootin gun. In fact that is an accurate portrayal of most non-Democrats in AmeriKKKa, there are more than likely to be thousands of Bubbas descending on the White house in hordes in their pickups with the aim of keepin' it the *White* house (if you get what I mean.)
Or such is the extent of leftard paranoia and ignorance, anyway. DU types still go on about the "mobs" they saw in Florida eight farking years ago intimidating people, and still haven't figured out that the mobs were entirely composed of lawyers hired by AlGore. If someone doesn't air a conspiracy theory of an assassination plot on racial grounds as an explanation for why Obama is a lamer duck than Bush ever was, within the first few months of his term, I will make fist of etiquette eat his hat.
Posted by: mandible claw | November 04, 2008 at 10:28 PM
Oh for heaven's sake put a sock in it ...
Posted by: me24 | November 05, 2008 at 01:59 AM
LOL!! Mandible Claw!! "If someone doesn't air a conspiracy theory of an assassination plot on racial grounds as an explanation for why Obama is a lamer duck than Bush ever was, within the first few months of his term, I will make fist of etiquette eat his hat." Now that is funny right there! Plus the conspiracy theorists are already writing it I am sure. Please don't kill him it will make him that much more an icon to be worshiped (worshipped?), whatever.
Posted by: proud conservative | November 05, 2008 at 07:30 AM
MC, being a southerner by location, not by birth, I just haven't seen the rampant racism and threats of violence if a black man got elected. Not.once. However, the spectre of assassination is just scary to me. The JFK family has one surviving member. I have thought of her over the years and how she must think and feel with regard to Obama being elected and the left making these nonsense allegations. We don't need another assassination or even an attempt at one. It united our country, but in Obama's case it would tear this nation apart and we don't need that. Not now.
We will work hard, defend our rights and use the rule of law to do so.
Posted by: Cricket | November 05, 2008 at 08:36 AM
"and the left making these nonsense allegations"
What nonsense allegations?
Posted by: 333 | November 05, 2008 at 12:34 PM
I don't make up conspiracy theories. I root out hidden truths.
Speaking of hidden, I just realized another similarity between Barack Obama and Jesus Christ. Each of them have huge gaps in the narratives we've been told of each's life's story. The only difference is, Obama isn't mythical.
That, and I would never take Barack's name in vain.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | November 05, 2008 at 01:34 PM
Hey, excoriated, which round was it that Obama was supposed to go down in? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....(infinite)
Posted by: kb | November 05, 2008 at 09:11 PM
LOL!! Mandible Claw!! "If someone doesn't air a conspiracy theory of an assassination plot on racial grounds as an explanation for why Obama is a lamer duck than Bush ever was, within the first few months of his term, I will make fist of etiquette eat his hat." Now that is funny right there! Plus the conspiracy theorists are already writing it I am sure. Please don't kill him it will make him that much more an icon to be worshiped (worshipped?), whatever.
Posted by: proud conservative | November 05, 2008 at 07:30 AM
Like literally the day after I said this there were reports that the KKK (???) was plotting an assassination. I gua-ron-tee that that (and the non-story of the drunk white supremacist idiots who got busted in the 7-11 or whatever and said they were 'on their way' to kill him along with 88 or 14 black people, or whatever) will be brought up as proof of the stifling climate of racism overshadowing the One's ability to make his sweeping policy changes and Save The World (and the cheerleader) when it becomes apparent that he and his advisors are incapable of formulating a coherent policy on anything to do with gun control, foreign policy or a gazillion other issues, and that every statement he makes re. teh Econommmy is met with another massive sell-off by people who actually have a clue about how economics works. Hell the media are already running interference for him, feeding the public spin about how they will have to wait for their SUPER MAGIC TAX CUT for 95% of (non-capitalist oppressor) Americans!1!!1&&!!1 but it's totally not his fault that it's never going to happen. The two concepts will be conflated sooner rather than later.
MC, being a southerner by location, not by birth, I just haven't seen the rampant racism and threats of violence if a black man got elected. Not.once.
No, and nor will you. The media already reached as hard as it possibly could to over-hype the two "assassination" stories that have occurred so far. No-one on the right even bears the guy much ill-will despite his politics clashing with theirs (ours?) so severely. And given that some leftards made a "mockumentary" on George W being assassinated and showed it in theatres nationwide the whole thing is nothing more than another prime example of leftard projection of their own hate onto the right.
However, the spectre of assassination is just scary to me. The JFK family has one surviving member. I have thought of her over the years and how she must think and feel with regard to Obama being elected and the left making these nonsense allegations. We don't need another assassination or even an attempt at one. It united our country, but in Obama's case it would tear this nation apart and we don't need that. Not now.
We will work hard, defend our rights and use the rule of law to do so.
Posted by: Cricket | November 05, 2008 at 08:36 AM
I am not suggesting for even a second that anyone on the right would dream of doing such a thing. In fact Lee Harvey Oswald was a communist and most (all?) assassins of US presidents have similarly been leftist/statist/socialist/whatever "humanitarians" trying to Save Humanity from Oppression.
Like I said, libtard projection. That won't stop the media from injecting it into Teh Narrative though; anything to reveal what a non-leader The One is.
Posted by: mandible claw | November 14, 2008 at 05:35 AM
Oh and just a clarification, the KKK were Democrats and opponents of free-market economics to begin with, which would in fact align them far more closely with the left than the right. Jus' sayin'
Posted by: mandible claw | November 14, 2008 at 05:40 AM
You take a fuck long time about "jus' sayin'". JFK was killed by the mafia. For reasons well known. They were no more socialists than you are. Setting up a patsy like Lee Harvey Oswald is a piece of cake for them.
Posted by: x3 | November 14, 2008 at 03:24 PM
In recent years, those who shoot presidents and other political leaders are generally to the left of their target---JFK, and RFK. Threats from the right are greatly over-blown.
Posted by: Ron Russell | April 15, 2009 at 05:56 PM
In recent years, those who shoot presidents and other political leaders are generally to the left of their target---JFK, and RFK. Threats from the right are greatly over-blown.
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