What Has Bush Done With Our Precious Hurricanes?

Some of us are old enough to remember a time when the mighty hurricane still roamed the high seas in vast herds, wild and free, unspoiled by the destructive force of man's greed. Not so long ago, scientists marveling at the sheer number of hurricanes worried that they might run out of names for them. Now, with yet another mild season drawing to a close and less than 15 storms to show for it, many are left wondering what is responsible for the disappearance of our beloved Hurricanes, not to mention our free $2,000 ATM cards.

Meteorologists predict that global warming will cause weather to become increasingly unpredictable, thus covering their asses for generations to come. And if it weren't for the ATM cards, I might be able to dismiss Bush's involvement entirely. But with the price of oil skyrocketing and the economy in the crapper, it's just too much of a coincidence for the hurricanes to completely vanish right now when working families need them the most. The Red Cross may have provided food and water, but it was the $2,000 ATM cards FEMA distributed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina that helped many such families purchase such vital necessities as booze, drugs and porn.

Indeed, the adult entertainment industry has been the hardest hit by the sudden lack of hurricanes, losing about 11 percent in sales since 2006. That's money Bush has practically stolen right out of the DNC coffers - and Hillary's war chest.

I'd like to encourage my readers to fill the void by going out and buying up as much smut as they can, but the inconvenient truth is that it's impossible to find porn that's printed on recycled paper these days. Trust me, I've tried. The best alternative I can think of is to go ahead and buy a lot of porn anyway, and then place it all in the proper recycling bin afterwards. I understand this might be difficult for those of you who didn't exercise your Right to Choose and now have children running around your house as punishment, so I'd suggest you instead donate the porn to your local elementary school so that it can be used as instructional aids when President Obama's Kiddie Sex Ed program takes effect. If Hillary wins, however, I'm sure she can find someone within her close inner circle who would be more than happy to hold all your porn for safekeeping, at least until our beautiful hurricanes return and once again rain ATM cards down upon the those Bush has deemed fit to starve to death.

Comments

[Che Gaiavera]

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask how you can do yourself for your country.

First!

[Cricket]

I saw her covering her war chest with her hand. It made me spit up in my mouth.

[FlowerofPower]

Folsom Street Fair Is Way Ahead Of Barack Obama

Family values indeed.

[Hemp Flower]

as a florida resident i wuz waiting 4 some1 2 blame the lack of hurricanes on global warming!!!!!

[FlowerofPower]

HempFlower, Global Warming is either causing hurricanse or killing them. As an endangered species of the water variety, hurricanes need protection. We need to ask
them what they want and then give it to them. I borrowed that from FTL.

[Friend of USA]

It is not the actual number of Hurricanes that counts but what Al Gore fabricates about them.

[T1]

After you are done with your porn stuff it down Sandy Burger’s pants.

He has already so many genital paper cuts a few more will not matter.

I am sure he and Bill will know how to handle them... I mean re-use them... I mean recycle them.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The ladies will tell you, it's not the length of a dude's season but how intense he spins his winds.

[Bush4Ever]

Bonnie Fwank has called for an investigation into the lack of hurricanes as he was looking very much forward to flying into the ravaged areas and giving succor to some of the male victims.

[Libby Gone™]

Damdable BUSH!
It's obvious he is now attacking So Cal with wildfires in his perverse anti-truth campaign. Why else would he purposely start fire in the world capitol of porn? Can the neandrethal leave us enlightened alone? Maybe he could understand us better if he was educated by a feature length lesson on clever uses for the human anatomy.....

[rampagingbullinchinashop]

Well, for Bawney Fwank, is it more blessed to give or receive? And aren't hurricanes an ill wind that blows nobody good? Which would mean that Bawney sucks. Or Hillary does, since tornadoes are her stock in trade.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Perhaps Bush's weather machine can only produce one natural disaster at a time. Perhaps, gentlemen, we've just found a chink in his armor.

[Dangerous Dave]

Thanks to the Neocon backed Bushler and his ilk, another revered era has bitten the dust. I'll only be able to tell my grandchildren about the days when I strapped myself to a cement post while the hurricanes came to shore and tossed debris into my face, neck, head, and chest area at speeds of up to 120 miles an hour before I was forced to wait in the ER for 12 hours because of Bushler's tax cuts for the rich.

Well, that is, along as I actually meet a woman that will have sex with me and not practice her choice afterwards.

[Arbiter]

"I understand this might be difficult for those of you who didn't exercise your Right to Choose and now have children running around your house as punishment"

-Larry

Absolutely.Brilliant.Satire.

[Tailfetha]

What was a Chinaman doing in Bush's armor anyway?

[Son of the South]

FoE is right - he just got done with the wildfires, started by Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter (who is a lesbian) - give the boy a break. He'll be back to hurricanes next year...

[Arbiter]

Son of the South,

I enjoy your posts. However, you forgot to mention that Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter is named "Mary." And also that she happens to be a lesbian.

[Son of the South]

Mary the Lesbian Firestarter - thanks, Arb! You are too kind...

[Dave]

Rove steered all the hurricanes away from amerKKKa with H.A.R.M. technology this year. The same technology he used to make Hurricane KKKtrina hit the big NO.

[Che Gaiavera]

Meteorologists predict that global warming will cause weather to become increasingly unpredictable, ...

I believe the scientific term is "increased entropy". And the fact that tropical storm prediction models were wrong again this year proves that the global warming models are 100% correct.

[Che Gaiavera]

End of discussion.

[Fist of Etiquette]

(Are we allowed to keep discussing?)

It's sad to think that the damage done by Bush's anti-environmental policies may never actually be known or felt.

[Methinks]

If Sweet Hillary wins, I'm donating all my porn to Bill.

It's the least I can do.

[Methinks]

Oh, and don't worry about the economy being in the crapper. If the dumbocrats win the presidential election, the very same economy will suddenly become a booming, shining example Dhimmicrat economic prowess.

On the other hand, when the Duncocrats jack up taxes to their previous 1974 levels, the resulting economic debacle will be attributed to the careless tax cutting of Reagan and Bush. That is after they first try to pass of the deep recession and loss of competitiveness off as a booming economy.

Hey, "booming" and "bombing" sound pretty close, right?

Forward toward our bright communist future, comrades!!!

[Methinks]

eh, sorry for the garbled sentence. actually trying to write between work doesn't work so well.