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Menstrual Rainbow

Thank god you're back Larry, I realise that penning a certain cave dwelling freedom fighter's speech last week takes time of course but still it's good to see your wisdom here.

Michiganvet

EXCLUSIVE: Advance Copy of the Democratic National Convention Agenda

Agenda for the Democratic National Convention (DuNce) for 2008:

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:30 to 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer & worship. Jessie Jackson & Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15-8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding--Barney Frank Presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free the Terrorist Rally, Presented by Cindy Sheehan & Susan Sarandon.
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender--Harry "Realestate" Reid.
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant.
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free the freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay by Sean Penn.
9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 P.M. How George Bush & Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers,by Howard Dean.
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet.
11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals, by John Kerry.
11:30 P.M. Corronation of Mrs. Rodham Clinton.
12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home.

The Exorcist

"realise"

AHA, MENSTRUAL RAINBOW!

Nibbling the colon tar-tar, huh?

Well, if there's two things we liberals know, it's;
1. How to change the water in our bongs every leap year with the saliva of an overweight Code Pink protestor.
2. Blair was involved in 7/7, 9/11 and 24/7.

Connect the dots, sheeple!

Fist of Etiquette

Nine-eleven is little more than a Republican campaign slogan at this point. I refuse to even acknowledge its existence anymore. My calendar's September skips from the tenth directly to the twelfth... twelveth... twelf?

I spent this September day like I have every year for the past however many years. I read up on Dennis Kucinich's time as mayor of Cleveland, to learn what real leadership is.

The Exorcist

You got that right, Fisty!

It takes a real progressive woman to go to Syria and speak truth to the Great Satan. And although Nancy PLO-si was the first female Democrat to do that, Denise Queerspinach was the first to dare and do that without a rag on her head.

That's what leadership is all about. And it takes a woman who was forced to live out of her AMC Pacer and then go on to lead the most important city in the world to understand that. And considering the fact that AmeriKKKa is hardly the most important country in the world, Prezodent KookSphincter is MORE than qualified to lead us to the promised land that bin Laden speaks of.

Cricket

Michiganvet,
I cried when I read your agenda. It gave me hope, especially the last item of business.

camojack

9-Eleven...isn't that a convenience store?

T1

Was that goat's rectum in accordance with sharia law?

If not then the wire brush goat's butt was the thing at really rubbed those Muslims the wrong way and caused those jet airplanes to crash into those buildings.

For Gaia & Humanity’s sake remove all hairs around the rectum.

Mumblix Grumph

I tried to read that Bible book once, but it burned my hands the moment I touched it.

I guess that means it's really toxic, right?

csason

Amen..brother ..A M E N


At least the deliberate melting of the twin towers by the Chimpster and his big steel buddies hasn't put a damper on the tourism industry from Mexico, LAWrence.

We ..well I had an IMPEACH BUSH NOW party last night..well it was more like a 'passed out' than a party, and the general consensus was that it only seems like
four or five years since the airline failure... more Rovarian mind ray at work.

Mike

Did you buy carbon offsets to burn those books?

Dangerous Dave

Dude, I went and did the same thing, except I spared the Huck Finn and My Pet Goat. I just burned a few bibles. My redneck racist homophobe repukkke brother handed me a Koran to burn, but I told him that would be a hate crime, so I put it on my nightstand next to the incense and then went back into the living room and lectured my fascist cross burning brother on cultural sensitivity. I got soooooo fucking stoned last night.

Arbiter

Um, Larry? You forgot to include 12:06 am

Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

Dangerous Dave

Also, in honor of the Muslim airline passengers that died on 9/11, I'm refraining from consuming any pork products for the next week. I am also going to attempt to lock up my porno collection for the week. Okay, maybe not.

Arbiter

It is not lost upon me that whenever poor misunderstood Mooselums die, there are usually white people and Joooos around them. Being a bona fide Troofer, we need to cast suspicion on these so called "victims".

Bush4Ever

Who even cares about the destruction of The Little Eichmann Towers by the KKKorrupt Bu$Hitler KKKrime Regime when we have THIS TRAGEDY!!!

Arbiter

My eyes Bush4Ever!! My eyes!!

You must warn us next time!!

OT:

I don't care how heroic or Patriotic General "Betray us" is. If he doesn't shed his lifetime commitment of military service to our country and flat out surrender like a Frenchman at a code pink party, he's got to go!

The Exorcist

I heard that, Arbs. Just a few moments ago I got tricked into signing a petition supporting our troops and denouncing Moveon.org. I feel so utterly foolish for falling for the trap. I could've sworn I was signing up for a bong-water transfusion with the saliva of an overweight 60 year-old Code Pink protestor, but that must have been the effects of the hash.

Don't fall for the same trick like I did. Here's the website that entrapped me.

http://victorycaucus.com/petition

The Exorcist

"9-Eleven...isn't that a convenience store?"

Yes it is. It got knocked-off by some illegal aliens.

Bush4Ever

"http://victorycaucus.com/petition"

My LyfePartner REALLY got perky when s/he heard me say "caucus". After all, s/he thinks that Bonnie Fwank & Tom Lantos should band together and form a caucus. Because, if there's anything that a Male Who Is Lyberal, I mean, Progressyve likes, it's a good, strong caucus. A caucus that will stand tall and firm in the face of evil hateful spiteful angry shrieking RePugnantKKKans. A caucus that will stand tall and firm and be at their backs, closely, even closer, to give them that extra push they need and desire and crave.

The Exorcist

I think I copy your sloppy, Beef-4'-Ever.

A caucas with real backbone!

Fist of Etiquette

[sob]Leave moveon.org alone... they've been through ENOUGH...[sob] they lost a presidential election [sob] to GEORGE BUSH... [sob] you BASTARDS!!!

Arbiter

Exorcist, Damn it to HELL!

I clicked on that petition link to have a few laughs at our Military's expense when a miniature KKKarl Rove apparition appeared on my desk and used his beady little eyes to Jedi Mind Trick me into signing that damned petition!

Bush4Ever

"I clicked on that petition link to have a few laughs at our Military's expense when a miniature KKKarl Rove apparition appeared on my desk"

Ha-ha-ha...you don't have to worry about KKKarl Rove any more. He resigned. He's gone. There'll be no more...hey, have you ever thought about how we can all re-elect Bush for a third term?

Fist of Etiquette

As I watched the 9/11 programs on the television (how could you avoid it, since they plastered this jingoistic propaganda all over three or four whole channels) and I see they've sanitized everything, going so far as editing out Bush's first words: "Kill 'em all, let 'Allah' sort 'em out." Did the History Channel show that? Not with Big Oil paying the bills.

I distinctly remember the Florida school children then gasping and breaking out into tears at that redneck bumper sticker hatred spewing at them from out of the president's mouth. I remember this because it struck me at the time that the remarks came so naturally that it seemed like they had been prepared well in advance.

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