One Bridge Down, Hundreds to Go

With all the destruction man has wrought on the environment since he first crawled out of his primordial goo, it's nice to see Mother Nature even the score every once in a while. When that infernal bridge collapsed yesterday, it was as if the Mighty Mississippi had finally cast off the steel shackles that had enslaved her and was at last free to flow unobstructed by man's technological wizardry. It was a shame that so many innocents had to die for the river to gain her freedom, but the blame for their tragic deaths lies solely on Bush's shoulders.

It seems that when the neocons built the bridge as a way to encourage driving and thus line the pockets of their Big Oil buddies, they failed to notice that there was a river passing beneath it - a healthy, vibrant river thriving with thousands of teeny tiny fishies, each as alive and as deserving of human rights as the river itself. Now, all those innocent fishies are dead, buried under tons of concrete, steel, and human bodies.

We must not let Bush's slaughter of these poor fishies go unpunished. A congressional investigation must be launched immediately to determine how long there was a fish-murdering bridge on the river, and why Bush never did anything to stop it. His personal physician, his proctologist, and his 4th grade teacher must all be called to testify before Congress as to their involvement in Bush's twisted scheme. The Shrub will probably cry "executive privilege", but this may be the only way we can ever get answers as to why their was a bridge on this particular river in the first place, and if there are other bridges out there lurking in the shadows, patiently waiting for another chance to strike.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

I would be very surprised if we don't find that Halliburton or one of its subsidiaries doesn't get the contract for rebuilding this bridge.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Wait, was that a double negative? Whatever. You know what I meant.

Oh yeah, and PRIMO!!!!

[stoorat]

And now Bu$h will doubtlessly engage in yet another round of ILLEGAL WIRE TAPPING to determine if I'm preparing to build a bridge myself, when all I want is a few freakin' moments of privacy during phone sex!

[Maria in Iowa]

I hear they lowered the level of the Mississippi by two feet today to assist with fishie rescue efforts.

[The Exorcist]

This isn't Bush's first murderous rampage against fishies. He was also clearly responsible when Ted Kennedy drove his mama's Oldsmobile off that bridge with Mary Jo Kopechne stuffed in the trunk and took out a school of fishies back in 69.

[camojack]

It was probably the "bridge to the next millenium" that Clinton was talking about...but it was sabotaged by Karl Rove's minions.

[Mumblix Grumph]

I blame Lindsay Lohan. Is there nothing that little slattern won't do to keep her name off the front page?

[T1]

Let me guess.

Karl was trucking a heavy load of Rovainium to Washington to re-energize his mind control machine when the bridge collapsed.

It’s well known that Rovainium is a high potent radioisotope which can literally bend minds and mild steel.

The truck transporting the Rovainium was not properly shielded and as it passed over the span it melted the steel in the bridge.

The result was dead democrats and innocent homeless progressives who lived under the bridge. Naturally, the truck was undamaged and continued to its destination.

What better way to thin out the democratic voting base before the 2008 elections than a “random” bridge collapse?

Dam that Bush and his Big Bridge Buddies.

[Bush4Ever]

The bridge collapsed into...water. What's the first letter of the word "water"? Why...it's "W"!!! Can we please start the Chimpeachment process now?

[DoubleU]

WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! The neocons R squarely 2 blame for this!!!!!1!!!!!

[Che Gaiavera]

You're all wrong here, folks! They're blaming that stress broke the bridge, but renowned civil engineer Rosie O'Donnell has proven that stress doesn't cause steel and concrete to break any more than fire from an exploding jetliner does; Joos with explosives are the only thing that do that.

Oh, and Globyl Warmyng can do it, too, so Bush must sign Kyoto now!

Do you know who else was killed by falling concrete? Rachel Corrie! Coincidence? I think not!

French bridges, on the other hand, never collapse. They are built to hold up under natural disasters, enemy occupation, rioting youths of the Religion of Peace, and more occupation.

How is Dumbya going to hide the bloated corpses of the ten thousand African Americans crossing the bridge at the time of the collapse?

And what was Ron Brown doing while rescue crews were pleading for FEMA resources?

None of the victims of this tragedy, Little Eichmans though they were, would have died if we adopted a European-style health care system.

Rebuilding the bridge will require labor; Labor AmeriKKKans won't do. We need to open our southern border to facilitate reconstruction.

And Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian.

I think I covered everything in the playbook...

[Che Gaiavera]

Crap, I forgot! These victims of BusHitler's incompetence would walk again if John F. Kerry and the Fabulous John Edwards had been elected.

[Cricket]

You mean to say that bridge collapsed because someone told it to? Who do we know that has that kind of power? Is it the Twig? Red Rove(r)? Or could it have been the fact that there were no supports under the bridge to impede river traffic? Now, aren't fishies part of the river traffic? Or could they be referring to boats and barges?
I must consult my bong and see what shapes the smoke is in.

WE NEED A HERO!!! WE NEED MAYOR NAGIN!!!

[Ed Flinn]

Does Karl Rove own a fish-paste factory that will be supplied by fish crushed in the bridge collapse and which will be funded by tax money meant to pay undocumented workers cleaning up that bridge?

[Che Gaiavera]

WE NEED A HERO!!! WE NEED MAYOR NAGIN!!!

Excellent point! Did anyone else notice the abandoned school bus in the photo?

What was a school bus doing on the bridge in August? KKKarl Rove was obviously trying to embarrass Nagin, but fortunately the bus wasn't actually under water so the visual effect didn't work.

[zeeboid]

From Fox news (which i know people hate, but it doesn't mean the made up what Oberstar said):
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291870,00.html

Speaking to reporters, Oberstar, D-Minn., leveled criticism at the Bush administration for cutting corners on the 2005 highway bill.

"We have provided in excess of $2 billion a year for bridge reconstruction, maintenance, in the current transportation law, something I insist -- we would have had more; we would have had roughly $3 billion if this administration and Bush 43 had not insisted on a $90 billion smaller transportation program," he said.

"I don't know who's going to be the (next) president, but whoever is is going to listen to the Congress, not the other way around," Oberstar said.

Democratic lawmakers also went on the attack against President Bush and his officials for not proposing enough money to pay for transportation costs. Bush has threatened to veto this fiscal year's transportation legislation, which has $1.1 billion more than last year to fund highway programs, including bridge maintenance.

"That's $631 million over the president's budget proposal. There's also $5 billion for the highway, bridge and rehabilitation program. ... So this is the kind of bill he's threatening to veto," Murray said.

Murray went on to say that the nation's Highway Fund is projected to be $4 billion in the red by the end of 2009. "We need proposals from [the White House] on how they intend to fix that," she said.

They are already blaming bush, your too late.

[Semanticleo]

Larry keeps posting, but his heart just ain't in it anymore. But old habits die hard, and our host
reflexively drones on with the pablum he's serving of late, in the hopes that the days of conservative wine and roses can be extended another day.

But it's almost time for the hemlock cocktail. I feel sorry for Larry and his kind, sort of. They were ridin' real high for a while but didn't understand they weren't on a horse. It was just a Hee Haw donkey who thought he was a horse who could run with the stallions. That horses' ass Bush wouldn't even qualify as a Gelding, even though Cheney has his balls in a jar on the nightstand.

Poor Larry.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Okay, I didn't want to do this, but I feel we need to attack this logically:

What's another word for "bridge"?
Span.
How many letters in "span"?
Four.
What did the bridge do?
Snap, anagram of span.
How many letters in "snap"?
Four.
What was the bridge spanning?
Water.
How many atoms in a water molecule?
Three.
How many letters in "Rove"?
Four.
How many letters in "big"?
Three.
How many letters in "fat"?
Three.
How many letters in "lie"?
Three.
How many letters in "Nazi"?
Four.
You add all those fours and threes up and what do you get? Forty-three.
Who is the 43th President?
George W. Bush.
How many letters in "Bush"?
Four.
The President's daughters are what?
Twins.
The bridge was taking people to see what team?
Twins.
How many letters in "twin"?
Four.
How many letters in "Iraq"?
Four.
What kind of missile did Bush Sr. take from Saddam after the first Iraq war?
Scud.
What kind of missile was used to destroy the bridge?
Yeah.

[Tailfeather]

All the Jews were warned to stay off the bridge that day.

[Dave]

Zionist demo squads were seen leaving the sight of the bridge collapse Wendsday.

Strange, the same day that Donald Rumsfeld testifies before the House Oversight committee on KKKarl Rove's murder of one-time jock babykiller, now innocent victim of Bu$h's so called war on "terror"......

Coincidence???

I have a few more "Coincidences"

Minnesota is a reality based Blue state....

They righly Voted in our first Muslim overlord as a member of the People's House last fall.....

Two of the missing are a Muslim woman and her baby.(I can see Rove and Cheney high-fiving now)

Al Franken will be the next senator from Minnesota.(That's if the repukes don't steal the vote)

The great paper Minneapolis Star Tibune is often called the "Minneapolis RED star tribune" By non-reading inbread hillbillys....

And let's not forget that the YearlyKos Convention 2007 is happening this weekend. I think that this is a warning shot across their bow by the Bu$h junta.

I dare you come down the rabbit hole with me......

[csason]

that does it.. I'm going into fishlaw. Friggin Bush..AGAIN !

[civilian]

FOX hasn't even interviewed Ted Kennedy about how long people in submerged cars can survive. Must be a conspiracy. Everyone except him is instantly killed when a car goes off a bridge. Media controlling Repubs won't let this fact be displayed by this event.

[Neocon-Pincher]

wow

That was totally incisive and ... like ... smart and everything. Totally not like ReTHUGliKKKans, who are all stupid and shit.

*bubbling bong water*

[stoorat]

First the dikes in N'awlins, now bridges in Minnesota...how many much longer must Dubyuh's reign of terror across the nation continue before the Feds finally wake up and take over all state-funded projects?