That Jerry Falwell deserved to die goes without saying. But as a caring, compassionate progressive, I can’t derive any joy from the man's death. For all the pain and torment Falwell inflicted upon the people of the world, he simply didn’t suffer enough to get my rocks off.
It was Falwell’s so-called “Moral Majority”, after all, that cursed us with Ronald Raygun - a senile fascist who murdered 178 billion AIDS sufferers by putting flowers on Hitler’s grave. It was Falwell’s evangelical ministry that bilked millions of ignorant, naive morons out of their life savings, essentially stealing potential campaign funds directly from the DNC coffers. It was Falwell himself who viciously attacked "Hinky Binky", a purse-swinging children’s TV character created to help flamboyantly gay toddlers come to grips with their sexuality. And whoamong us could forget Falwell’s infamous and incredibly hateful accusation that gays, lesbians, and the ACLU were responsible for the 9/11 attacks, even though Cindy Sheehan had already revealed that it was actually George Bush and the Zionist NeoCon PNAC Jews who caused the unfortunate incident?
But Falwell’s most heinous act, the one for which he deserves to burn in Hell for all eternity, was that he took all that Bible crap seriously - and convinced others to do so as well. His irrational views against sodomy, pre-marital sex, infanticide, and pornography not only soured voters against the Democrat Party platform, but also put a real damper on my Friday nights.
For all his crimes against humanity, Falwell doesn’t deserve an ounce of the respect any proud liberal would pay a copkiller or a Crip who murdered an entire family for kicks. But while I’d just love to drown myself in the same wave of uncontrollable giddiness that swept the progressive blogosphere when Tony Snow’s cancer returned, Falwell’s quiet and painless passing makes me feel somewhat cheated. He was a hatemongering bigot, and there are 225 million fundamentalist Christian wackos out there who share his beliefs. Until they all share his fate, America will never be free of hate.
Oh yes the same liberals with those dumb PRACTICE TOLERENCE stickers in their windows what a bunch of creeps
Posted by: kookie kiwi | May 18, 2007 at 02:46 PM
Exorcist, now that you've written a wonderful children's book, are you planning on killing me?
Posted by: Arbiter | May 18, 2007 at 02:46 PM
Methinks, I think we're going to be fine. I'm planning on getting a sex change anywho so I'll just be a bhurka wearing biotch...
Posted by: Arbiter | May 18, 2007 at 02:47 PM
"Exorcist, now that you've written a wonderful children's book, are you planning on killing me?"
Well, you're still here Arbiter, so I guess I got the wrong family last night. I should've known I hit the wrong family when I didn't find a monkey. Fortunately, I got back to the farm before daylight and made up for lost time in the barn melting steel and milking cows.
Hey, could you call Danny Glover and tell him I might need a favor? Ahnold Schwartzenazi clearly doesn't appreciate the magical powers of writing children's books to offset mass murder. He's so intolerant. He reminds me of Jerry Falhell, only with an accent.
Come to think of it, Ahnold has a bad ticker from all those years of steroid use. Yippee! Keep those celebratory noise-makers and party-hats out kids, another Repukelican could keel over any moment now.
Posted by: The Exorcist | May 18, 2007 at 03:13 PM
Exorcist, thanks.
Since we've opened the borders to our southern friends, I fear this is the end of Taco Bell.
Posted by: Arbiter | May 18, 2007 at 03:32 PM
http://www.bushflash.com/
Live, loving what we are!
Posted by: Mark Martin | May 18, 2007 at 03:39 PM
Mark,
A telling quote from that site:
"I've been struggling with clinical depression, my entire life. I've been through the gamut of treatments, quack doctors, and have thrown a dozen different medications down my throat, none of which ever did much good. I could tell you stories..."
If we exSCHTURmeenated die Juden, plus impeaching the Chimperor, and gnawed thru the chest of the father of the lesbian Mary Cheney to feast on the fat-laden arteries of his heart, which has had more attacks than Ramadi, this guy wouldn't be depressed anymore. That's all I'm saying.
Is that so wrong? Is that too much to ask? Some people only care about themselves...
Peace out!
Posted by: Arlo | May 18, 2007 at 07:32 PM
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ei.html
Which You're-A-Peein Country is 93% KKKhristian?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | May 18, 2007 at 07:36 PM
OMG! Thank you Mark Martin. May Gaia bless you with a NASCAR championship in the next life.
The tears are still rolling down my face after visiting www.bushflash.com
It's been awhile since I've looked into the soul of a committed liberal. I've been so busy looking gift-horses in the mouth and what not. But it's so refreshing and uplifting to crawl back into that dark, hopeless state of mind. It reminds us all that only the stability of a liberal can guide our country through these troubled times.
Here's an excerpt of the vision for those who don't want to sift through all the broken glass.
===============================================================================
"My last visit to the doctor saw me breaking into uncontrollable sobbing in her office. I was trying to describe to the doctor what was coming- when I told her about all the Iraqi kids that were going to be born with their brains outside of their heads because of the depleted uranium we were going to be dropping on Baghdad, I lost it.
I'm not afraid, or ashamed, to admit that as the tears rolled down my face, I felt so powerless, so small, so insignificant, and so damned pathetic.
I'm sure many of you- even those who are perfectly healthy, and have never dealt with depression know how I felt, at that moment.
It was in those days that I created the first of my animations, and laid out the foundations for what was to become Bushflash.com. At the time, I was still able to afford the medication that had kept me going, for the better part of two years, but alas...
At that time, I was unemployed, and in time, was unable to continue my medication... I was fine and dandy, though, because I had discovered a new drug:
Hate.
Many is the time in the past few years when I've gotten e-mails from right-wingers who were so consumed by apathy and self-delusion that they had no recourse but to call me a man "consumed by hate."
It's not like I had a reason not to be. In the times in which we live, there is so much to hate. When I saw the bombs raining down in Baghdad, I could not help but hate those who put the machine of war into motion. When I saw dead bodies floating in the streets of New Orleans, I could not help but hate those who neglected my fellow american citizens. When I saw John Bolton, Condoleeza Rice, and Donald Rumsfeld wiping their collective asses with the writ of world opinion, I could not help but hate.
And therein lies the trap- Bush, Rice, Bolton, Rumsfeld, and the rest of these callous bastards, along with their brain-dead, complascent, and shrinking joyclub are not motivated by hate- they are blissfully free of hate. Rather, they are motivated by a solipsistic need for gain, greed, and a self-aggrandizing callous indifference to anything remotely human.
We do not hate out of choice, or any wish- it is our only recourse, when we witness everything we hold dear being raped and stolen, before our eyes."
Posted by: The Exorcist | May 18, 2007 at 07:38 PM
Anyone who doesn't enthusiastically support infanticide and partial birth abortions are deserving of Hell ... even though I don't believe in Hell ... other than the HELL of living under the Bu$Hitler/Halliburton/Cheney/Exxon junta.
Posted by: libmeister | May 18, 2007 at 07:46 PM
When I saw how much tax I had paid in '06, I could not help but hate.
When I saw how the tax laws are being re-written by PLOsi, I could not help but launch myself into low earth orbit.
Posted by: Arlo | May 18, 2007 at 07:54 PM
Wow, that's weird. This thing is currently showing that "arbiter" posted the bushflash link, and I replied to myself?
Anyway, just a bit of trivia. Eric (the bushflash guy) is my cousin, and really does have some sad issues. I would say go easy on him if you write him, but actually it probably makes him feel validated if you let him know he stirred up trouble. I'm not sure.
I wish he'd get well. But I also wish he and his comrades would exercise a little common sense and stop encouraging muslims to defeat the most dangerous regime in the history of mankind.
Posted by: Mark Martin | May 19, 2007 at 04:08 AM
oh. now I see. that's my name UNDER the post...
duh
Posted by: Mark Martin | May 19, 2007 at 04:09 AM
You're right. Those poor, peace-loving Muslims shouldn't have started something they couldn't finish. Luckily for them, they have people like your cousin on their side.
Posted by: Che Gaiavera | May 19, 2007 at 07:17 AM
I have be lerkkking and reading and LOL and crying at what I find here. I even "God help me" bookmarked bushfalsh to compare the strengths and weaknesses of the satir.
I just hope I can remember which site has the satir :p
Posted by: Im.mad.as.HELL! | May 19, 2007 at 09:27 AM
Gotta love the Bushflash review of the suicide bombers film about the Israeli/Palestinian. He criticizes the film for giving no historical context and selective information. Then, he does the same in his review.
Did y'all know that thousands of Palestinians were shoved off the land to make room for a few hundred Jews from Queens, NY? Huh. Yeah...and Chavez is helping the poor, France has the #1 healthcare system in the world, the World Bank actually fights poverty, the UN is an organization worth pouring our tax dollars into and there are goblins living in my closet.
Makes me want to buy 100 copies of the film and distribute them to everyone I know.
Posted by: Methinks | May 19, 2007 at 09:28 AM
"....When I saw how much tax I had paid in '06, I could not help but hate..."
My hatin' started when I saw where they planned to spend it..
Posted by: csason | May 19, 2007 at 07:45 PM
Yeah, Chavez is helping the poor all right. Citgo Gas is nationalized by the State Of Chavez, benign despot and all around humanitarian.
Posted by: | May 22, 2007 at 11:02 AM
Up yours.
Matthew Shepherd - 1 down 29,999,999 to go.
Break out the pink triangles, hell.
To hell with that crap they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a Catholic, then when they came for me there was no one left.
Rhetoric like yours makes me want to be one of them.
Posted by: Francisco Franco | May 25, 2007 at 06:45 PM
His irrational views against sodomy, pre-marital sex, infanticide, and pornography not only soured voters against the Democrat Party platform, but also put a real damper on my Friday nights.
Jerry "Ceausescu" Falwell was a real lover of life.
Posted by: Libertarian666 | June 08, 2007 at 11:04 AM