Sludge linked to an interesting article yesterday about a new species of sheep that scientists claim are 15% human. I guess it’s easier for Bush to disenfranchise another minority group if he can convince people that they are somehow less than “human”. I guess it’s easier to treat sentient beings like livestock to be bartered and butchered by right-wing hypocrites who would never even consider smothering their own children with mint jelly and gorging themselves upon their sweet, succulent flesh. It’s all just another page torn from the same old blood-drenched playbook the Repugs have been using for years.
The irony is that even if only 15% human, the sheep are far more “human” than your typical conservative – and ten times as smart. It’s no wonder then that the Shrub would seek to deny these brilliant, free-thinking creatures their Constitutional right to vote – chances are they’d all cast their votes for Democratic candidates. Their political leanings would not just be because of their superior intelligence, either. As an opressed class, sheep would likely find the Democratic Party more sympathetic to their suffering and supportive of their cause. Perhaps when these sheep finally tire of being fleeced by the Grand Ol’ Party - not to mention 2000 years of white male hegemony - they’ll realize how much they have in common with progressives like us. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or even the day after that. But one day, Democrats will be able to say with pride that the Big Tent is full of subhuman sheep, rather then have to constantly hear it from sheepophobic cons in a manner that is obviously meant to be derogatory.
It's funny because thirty percent of the population are sheeple! Oh wait, that's not that funny at all.
Anyways, how much percent human does one have to be before my marriage is legal in the other forty-eight states?
Posted by: First of Etiquette | March 27, 2007 at 07:13 PM
Mr. Bush...do your daughters support your policy of semi-human sheep? If so, how DARE they not be in a uniform made from their own fur?
Posted by: Oxnard J. Leftleaner | March 27, 2007 at 07:16 PM
It's probably a matter of time before Middle Eastern Scientists find goats are at the least 25% human.
Posted by: Rocky Mtn. Lioness | March 27, 2007 at 07:29 PM
"It's probably a matter of time before Middle Eastern Scientists find goats are at the least 25% human."
They already have. Their name is Mrs. Middle Eastern Scientist.
Posted by: The Party of Peace, Love & Compassion | March 27, 2007 at 08:20 PM
I guess it’s easier to treat sentient beings like livestock to be bartered and butchered by right-wing hypocrites who would never even consider smothering their own children with mint jelly and gorging themselves upon their sweet, succulent flesh.
I never got that mint jelly business...but I did try it once, just to confirm what I already knew intuitively. I prefer my children plain...
Posted by: camojack | March 27, 2007 at 09:34 PM
Speaking of SHEEPLE! Dolly Dumbya clone & Bush Baaht Tony Blair has silenced intelligent discourse!! :
Poop...err...Snoop Dogg was denied a visa to the UK, so NO SHOW from the American Diplomat and humanitarian. WHY you ask?....DUUHHHH...
P "Vote Or Die" Diddy is on tour with it..err...him. It's barely 2007 and The Shrub is already disenfranchising (overseas) voters. Not to mention AGAIN proving Kanye West true: He don't care about black sheep(le).
Posted by: Rocky Mtn. Lioness | March 27, 2007 at 09:55 PM
I can almost guarantee that that 15% human DNA isn't mine. I won't know for sure until I go on Montel, but that ewe was a lying slut.
Posted by: Che Gaiavera | March 28, 2007 at 03:57 AM
BooooosH LiEd......sHeeplE dyeD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poower to tHe shEeple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wElcome our neW sHeep oveRlords.
Posted by: PONC MurthaFan | March 28, 2007 at 04:24 AM
Baa-ram-ewe, baa-ram-ewe. To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true. Sheep be true. Baa-ram-ewe.
This is the password of the sheep. They'll need a lot of education before they are ready to become part of our big tent. But our education system can do it.
No sheep left behind! NAMSLA is down with this.
Posted by: too little too late | March 28, 2007 at 05:03 AM
can we hire john edwards to sue someone if these sheep contract anal cystst? just curious.
Posted by: babyinjuerer | March 28, 2007 at 05:13 AM
This is just another example of failed agricultural policies of the Bu$Hitler KKKrime Regime!!! Where were they when these sheep were being herded into concentration camps and experimented on? What did Bu$Hitler know and when did he know it?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | March 28, 2007 at 05:33 AM
Larry we needs to start a new group to protect these people. I propose SHEAR, Sheep Human Equality on All Rights!
Equal rights for human sheep, they have a right to vote and a right to marry whatever they want! Can you HEAR, Let's scream SHEAR!
Posted by: DoubleU | March 28, 2007 at 05:37 AM
Murtha told me, yes, he told me soldiers are killing machines.
He also told me, "I wasn't like that when I was in the Lady Marines."
Just the other day I heard Pelosi mouthing off some Liberal/Progressive junk that's going round.
Murtha's alright, Pelosi's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, and give America away, ay, ay, ay.
Harry Reid says, "Murtha's right, he knows how to cut & run."
"Keep us in office we'll take away your right to own a gun."
Now, I had heard Marines recruited old maids for the war.
Murtha's surely one of those, I've known him all these years.
Murtha's alright, Pelosi's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, and give America away, ay, ay, ay.
Whatever happened to all this season's losers of the year?
They got elected by illegals and felons that they got drunk with beer.
When we wake and find Islamic law is now the norm.
We'll have to thank Pelosi and Murtha and all their fellow worms.
Murtha's alright, Pelosi's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, and give America away, ay, ay, ay.
Posted by: Bubba | March 28, 2007 at 06:21 AM
Lol, Bubba. You and Larry are geniuses. I am going to do all I can - march with Sean Penn, make a puppet that looks like Bush and hold it up every Wednesday afternoon on the Lake Street bridge so that people driving by can see, go on a bathing strike, (that means no pachuli too,) and possibly set a piece of clothing on fire to prevent people from voting for Bush in '08. It's time to stop the dictator once and for all.
Posted by: BCMG | March 28, 2007 at 08:11 AM
I guess this means we progressyves will have to also advocate man-sheep marriages. Wouldn't want to disenfranchise sheep with 15% humanity coursing through the blood.
BTW, would the female sheeple qualify for government-assisted abortions, too?
Posted by: libmeister | March 28, 2007 at 08:47 AM
THIS JUST IN!
As usual, Larry's timing couldn't be better.
"Man keeps 80 sheep in his house, authorities say"
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/27/sheep.house.ap/index.html
It doesn't say what percentage of these sheep have human genes, but I think we're just seeing the tip of the iceberg. So to speak.
Posted by: DonkeyDick | March 28, 2007 at 09:06 AM
"we progressyves will have to also advocate man-sheep marriages"
WHAT!!??
Are you telling me that isn't already legal?
"Dolly, back to the barn with Misster Ed"
Posted by: The Exorcist | March 28, 2007 at 09:20 AM
No justice, No sheep!(justice as we progressives define it)
Posted by: Dave | March 28, 2007 at 09:23 AM
This hole sheep sex thing is keeping me up at night. No, no, nothing sexual. I wouldn't dream of having sex with a sheep and my Misster Ed will back me up against the wall in the barn on that.
I'm talking about sleep.
I used to put myself to sleep every night by just counting Democrats. 101 Democats, 102 Democrats....zzzzzz...zzzzzz.
But now that scientists are mixing Democrats in with humans it takes away from the innocence of watching those Democrats frolic in the pastures, leaping over the little fence, heading to the voting booths to vote for al Qaeda enablers.
Aw, the good old days of blissful ignorance that were akin to RockyMyWorld, DaisyMae, Queenky, MeThings and Crikey reading bedtimes stories as they ratcheted-up the stretch-machine.
Guess I'll have to get a Canadian Rx for Ambien.
Posted by: The Exorcist | March 28, 2007 at 09:34 AM
Larry,
Did you know that Barack Obama is very close and strongly connected to the sheep community?
Where do you think he got his name from? Bah'-rack
O-bah'-ma? Bah bah....you know like in "bah bah black sheep"?
Nancy P
Posted by: Nancy Pelosi | March 28, 2007 at 10:10 AM
Comrades, you are all qualified to join (as auxiliary members, of course) the new pressure group devoted to sheep equality, the World Organization for Ovine Leadership.
Posted by: Jay Guevara | March 28, 2007 at 10:19 AM
The Brigades just want to check in and deny rumors that we have a connection to the sheep.
We don't. At least, not for more than a few minutes at a time.
Posted by: al-Bundy Martyr Brigades | March 28, 2007 at 10:22 AM
As a lyfe long member of PETA, I was thrilled about this. You see, now that sheep are 15% human, I can eat them. It's only true animals that are sacred.
Posted by: Arbiter | March 28, 2007 at 10:37 AM
Idiots.
Posted by: neocon | March 28, 2007 at 11:02 AM
I can almost guarantee that that 15% human DNA isn't mine. I won't know for sure until I go on Montel, but that ewe was a lying slut.
Do you ever write anything that isn't pure art? Jeez, I read this site on my lunch break...and now my laptop is covered in Lays potato chip shrapnel.
Posted by: stoorat | March 28, 2007 at 11:08 AM