Earth Has a Fever, Uranus Has Cysts.

When it comes to global warming, one of the most idiotic talking points in the right-wing's arsenal is if the ice caps are melting on Mars, Earth's warming trend couldn't possibly be caused by humans. As with anything cons say, the exact opposite is true. The bfacts is that the bizarre weather conditions seen on Mars and other planets are undeniable proof that the ecological destruction Bush has wrought on our own world is spreading like a virus to others in our solar system.

If Earth truly has a fever as the prophet Al Gore says, then Mars has a severe runny nose.  Neptune has a persistent cough. Mercury has the clap - probably something it picked up from that slut, Venus. Jupiter has herpes. Saturn has ringworm.  Pluto isn't considered a planet any more and is probably just feeling a little depressed.  Uranus, of course, has cysts.

Al Gore has been deeply troubled about Uranus for some time, but he's never been able to put his finger on it. Frankly, there are some in Congress who would prefer he keep his nose out of Uranus completely. But if Uranus has cysts, you don't bicker over ointments. You take it to the doctor, and the first name that comes up in any discussion about Uranus is Al Gore. In fact, Al Gore quite possibly knows more about Uranus than your anus knows about Uranus or, for that matter, what Uranus knows about you. He's certainly more of an authority on Uranus than Rush Limbaugh, who weaseled out of the illegal and immoral war in Vietnam for reasons that I would rather not delve into.

So there's really no point in debating it.

Comments

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

So in reading the sage oratory again from WaPo peace doves, I have a question. Does "Karma" or "what goes around, comes around" work for everyone, or just people we feel are evil, and us when we are good, kind and tolerant like the above contributing WaPo sweethearts???

[libmeister]

brainsample,

Obviously those are true lyberals progressives who can teach us a thing or two about being truly devout progressyves. I've never seen a display of such tolerance and compassion than the latest outpouring of support for Tony Snow to die quickly and be relieved of the suffering that is sure to come. Remember, these are the same lyberals progressives who wanted Terri Schiavo to be lovingly and euphorically starved to death to end her suffering. Gorewellian logic triumphs again in the debate over quality of life: You can't have quality if you have too much quantity.

Our brave gay brethryn who have died from AIDS are further proof of the truthiness of this axiom.

[csason]

I herd Anal Cysts boy Rush say today that adult stem cells cure liver cancer.. no wonder they have been slaughtering those poor freedom fighters.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Am I the only one who thinks it's a little suspicious that a frontrunning Democratic presidential candidate's wife is diagnosed with a major illness that takes hold of the news cycle by the short hairs, and then all of the sudden one of the President's men gets a headline grabbing medical condition virtually out of nowhere?

You don't really believe Bush would... I mean, you don't think that Rove is actually capable of... It's not possible that they would do that to one of their own just to...

What am I saying? They killed 900,000 Iraqi civilians for their oil, nothing is out of bounds for these people.

[Arlo]

You’re not going to believe this. I went for a ride on my chopper today. The oil pressure on my rockerboxes was down a good 3 PSI. Why won't Fuehrer Geobbels Shrubya dot Bu$hwacKKKHalliSpawnOfReagan just leave me and my motorcycle alone? I mean, for crying out loud, doesn't he have more important things to do? I thought he would be more interested in implementing his plan to orbit a giant magnifying glass to cook us in our sleep.

Oh the perfidy! I weep for the pur carbon-footprint-increasing children of the future, who should have been aborted, but selfishly clung to life in order to lash out at Mother Gaia. Life no long has any meaning.

[Arlo]

"You don't really believe Bush would... I mean, you don't think that Rove is actually capable of... It's not possible that they would do that to one of their own just to... "

Just read the CBS memos. BU$HCO has systematically given cancer to millions of innocent progressyves who braved the jackbooted jingo jackal voting police nazis that tried to deny their voting rights.

They don't care about anyone MAN! All they want is for Gaia to burn white hot as they sit around their diesel fueled swimming pools swilling their Havaline 10W30 cocktails.

[DonkeyDick]

"FLU, fever and a painful boil on the backside all led to a lethal cocktail of prescription medicine that killed Anna Nicole Smith."

Is that "boil on the backside" anything like an anal cyst? If so, why is that Rush Limbah fellow still around to vex us?

It just ain't right. We've lost the finest actress ever; and we still have Rush. Which almost rhymes with "Bush". Coincidence? I think not.

[The Party of Peace, Love & Compassion]

TONY SNOW IS GOING TO DIE!! HA HA HA HA!!
YOU MURDERING CON, DIE, DIE DIE!!!!
YOU HAVE IGNORED US PROGRESSIVES LONG ENOUGH!! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!
WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!! DIE, DIE, DIE!!
HEY HEY, HO HO, WE WANT CANCER TO KILL TONY SNOW!
HEY HEY, HO HO, WE WANT CANCER TO KILL TONY SNOW!

Oh, and all we are saying is give peace a chance.

[First of Etiquette]

"...and then all of the sudden one of the President's men gets a headline grabbing medical condition virtually out of nowhere?" -Yours Truly

"BU$HCO has systematically given cancer to millions of innocent progressyves..." - Arlo

Cancer? Actually, my comment was about Carl Schmalberg, but I guess it applies to Tony Snow, too.

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

After reading the reasonable dissent brainsample posted from the various contributors at WaPo, it becomes more painfully obvious there really ARE "Two Americas". Thanks ALOT, Shrubinator, Divider Not Uniter!!!

[Kinky Bee]

"I'm surprised you've forgotten all those times you mounted me and yelled "Hi-Oh Silver, And Away"'

Hell-lo! Combo of medicinal marijuana and roofies, and you actually expect me to remember something? Hahahaha! Next thing you know, you'll be telling that you're really a RethugliKKKan who thinks the Sheeple should own guns, but not the criminal sheeple.

[The Party of Peace, Love & Compassion]

"but not the criminal sheeple."

The 2nd Amendment has no provisions in it preventing Democrats from owning guns.

[libmeister]

PPL&C,

After your enlightened comments I see we're about to turn the corner in this fascist country where peace will guide the planets and luuuuuv will steer the stars! And this will spell the end of the reich-wing hateful haters who hate.

[libmeister]

The 2nd Amendment has no provisions in it preventing Democrats from owning guns.

Yeah, but do they know how to use them like the redneck Christofascist kkkonservative gun lovers?

But that's probably why Charlie Rangle (D-Moon) has been agitating for the reinstitution of the draft. After consulting my secret Progressive Decoder Ring I was informed that if we can draft the sullen, underprivileged, cynical gangbangers and high school drop outs into a New Army under a progressyve administration, these patriotic soldiers would be most susceptible to any Executive Order handed down to "clear out the white trash, reich-wing Rethuglikkkan traitors".

The Posse Comitatus Act be damned.

[Methinks]

Oh great, Libmeister, another senator I can "proudly" say is from my State.

After the end of the draft debate, the overwhelming evidence supporting a volunteer military, and the overwhelming success of said military, Rangle and his ilk want to reinstate an institution of forced labour without the need of fair compensation. An army of slaves.

Slavery. How very progressive. How nicely it dovetails with the rest of the progressive ideology.

[Just musing...]

You know, Exy, your Myz has a bit of a prob. Our neighbor has a black friend who dares to speak the King's English and not that Ebonics ghetto dialect. So who is truly enslaved? The one who can make hisself understood to Whitey or the one who needs an interpreter outside the 'hood?

Not only that, we has AfriKKKan AmeriKKKans on our block who have not only served in the military, but don't want their kids to grow up to be gangstas, like the Wailin' Jennings song. They get their kids to church, don't let them wear baggy clothes or swear, do drugs or listen to rap.

Are they oppressed? As a progressyve, what can I do to help?
I let my children go over to their house all the time, and their children come into my home too.

HOW CAN I ALLEVIATE THE GUILT I FEEL BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO BE VICTIMS?

[Methinks]

Ah know you was aksin' Exorcist and not me, Miz Musing, but Ah thank I have the ansuh to yo prolem.

Ah sugges' you immediately sis and dissis' talkin' all white to them kids an' stat "undestanin" they need to emulate the great syvyl righs leader, Al Shapton - in both hair, stupid facial espressions and speach. An talk to them jus laak this - in ebonics - so's they can assimimilate to they folk and not talk all white and shit. This presahvation of welfare culture is mo' impotant than success in whitey's worl'. We have to keep our proud Africun Americun heritage unner control bah keepin' our youngun's on welfare and fearin' how the white man gone be keepin' 'em down. Yessir.

[Juno888]

Are they oppressed? As a progressyve, what can I do to help?
I let my children go over to their house all the time, and their children come into my home too.

[ISHMAel back]

MESSAGE

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Voyager's observations revealed that the magnetic field is peculiar, both because it does not originate from the planet's geometric center, and because it is tilted at 59° from the axis of rotation. In fact the magnetic dipole is shifted from the center of the planet towards the south rotational pole by as much as one third of the planetary radius. This unusual geometry results in a highly asymmetric magnetosphere, where the magnetic field strength on the surface in the southern hemisphere can be low.