Bush's Daylight Savings Crime

Feeling a little older today? Blame Bush. He secretly moved your clock ahead as you lay sleeping last Sunday, effectively shortening your day by one hour and pushing you sixty minutes closer to the grave.

Sure, one hour doesn’t seem like much - until you consider that a child born today (should his mother foolishly decide to carry her unwanted pregnancy to term), would discover on his 72nd birthday that he was somehow cheated out of three whole days of life. That’s three days he will never be able to spend with his grandchildren, should his own children foolishly decide to carry their pregancies to term. It’s three days that he won’t enjoy a nice walk in the park with his same-sex domestic life partner. Three whole days that he won’t be able to collect social security.

What a coinky dink.

Of course, this is all old hat. The neocons have been robbing us of our retirement for years, only they don’t call it “stealing”. They call it “Daylight Savings Time”. It’s for the good of society, they tell us. It'll save energy, boost the economy, and prevent male-pattern baldness. And don't worry, they’ll give us back an hour come November so it all evens out.

I guess the Chimp will just reach into his magic Santa Sack and dole out free hours to everyone as easily as he does tax cuts for the wealthiest percent of Americans. Either that, or he’ll just slow the rotation of the earth. But if he thinks he can trick Congress into approving that idea the way he tricked them into voting for the war in Iraq, he’s got another thing coming.

Comments

[Intellectual Conservative]

WOOHOO I got the first post :)

And you've nailed the classic liberal non-think in one posting ... Yesterday doesnt matter nor does tomorrow .. what matters is the here and now :)

[SHEEHAG]

And you just stole a minute of my life! I want it back... so that I can chose how to waste that minute myself... just like I want my son back, so that I can chose how he's... never mind, you wouldn't understand!!

[The Exorcist]

Chomstein is right again. On the very first day of Daylight Savings Crime I looked up into the air of Orange County and saw the Inconvient Truth of it all.

One more hour of sunlight to watch Anaheim Hills globally glowing in the sky after that democrat lit the stolen car he abandoned on fire.

[Methinks]

Oh but the real conspiracy is soooo much worse than stealing the hour.

The stolen hour is a WEEKEND hour. Connect the dots, progressyve comrades! This is all a ploy to steal from our hard won weekend free time and hand over another hour of our lives to gargantuan, tax evading, fire-breathing, multi-national, soul-sucking, crony Corporations. Will the exploitation of working people never end by the non-working people running these evil empires?

Face it! They are the dementors and WE are Harry Potter.

[Kinky Bee]

Not only did Bush steal an hour of my life, he also stole my internet connection for WEEKS!! It(my computer and internet connection) spent days at Guantanamo Bay...or, maybe it was Best Buy(it was hard to tell with the awesome weed I was partaking of), being denied a fair trial and having its genitals mocked(it'll never recover from that). I finally tracked it down in a cell with Achmed and Mohammed, praying to Allah or Bill Gates(I get them confused). I ripped my precious computer away before the knuckle-dragging Baby Killers could rip it apart and send it the way of the Koran.

I also notice that Bush wiped your memories of me, cleaner than a Mooselimb Freedom Fighters mustachioed backside in a pyramid. *sniff* It's so nice to be back home.

*climbs under the sink with Lar*

[Kinky Bee]

"nd don't worry, they’ll give us back an hour come November so it all evens out."

Ummmm...like, what happens to all the peeps who die before then? What do they get in return for having an hour of their life stolen? What does the time-thieving Bush give them?

It's all a conspiracy, I tell you. Steal our time, send a killer hyr/hymicane or tornado, kill off a bunch of people, then act all innocent come November and the elections.

[Dodger]

It's all an evil plan. Bu$h will give us back the hour just in time for the elections so he will be re-"selected" in 2008. Well, I'm not fallin' for it.

Surrender in Iraq now!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Fudge, I wasted my best DST lines on the previous interminable thread. Now I have to come up with new material. Thanks alot, Larry.

Everyone be on the lookout! I heard Bush is coming up with a plan to try to privatize Daylight Saving Time!!!

[libmeister]

For the hour I lost I figure Bu$Hitler owes me $2,897,392.32 American dollars.

RIGHT OR WRONG, SURRENDER IN IRAQ NOW! Never more brave words uttered, I might add.

[Bubba]

Looks like The Squirrely Girl has learned to Cut & Paste.

[Che]

Sure, Bu$h will give the hour back, but will he pay interest on it? Of course not. Just like federal withholding, the time borrowed during DST is time the government gets to use for free for 6 months. Unlike taxes, though, you get it back right before election time.

If only there was a way to claim time dependents on my W4 so he didn't withhold any time from me at all. You know he's just sending it all to his Halliburton buddies anyway. Or he's using it to keep the Evil Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken (But Whose Daughter Is A Lesbian) alive until they leave office.

[DoubleU]

Wow I never thought about it like that before Larry, I didn't realize the whole Daylight Savings Time thing was real until I was 47. I thought it was just some really good weed. and a evil corporation gimmick to fire me from every job I ever had.

[libmeister]

Dude, is that what you feasted on last night?

Just out of curiousity, when you were born did they let your mother out of her cell at the Happy Hills Sanitarium?

[Methinks]

awe....looks like Dud feels left out again. Apparantly his daddy didn't love him in that "special way" enough as a child. Sad.

[BCMG]

dude has out-witted everyone once again. Thanks for pointing out how much smarter and better educated you are. Does the entire bottle of Paddy and not having a job ispire you to such greatness? Or is it just the wit that Gaia bestowed upon you?

[BCMG]

Clearly Dude is obsessed with Rush's Anal Cysts and who can blame him? Oh sure Rush may be a shill for the Rethuglican't party, but now that he's lost all of that weight, he's a gay man's fantasy come true.

[Arbiter]

Look at the bright side Larry, that's one hour less life for Dude, and one step closer for him to join his cursed folks rotting in the ocean...

[BCMG]

What is your obsession with Rush's rear end? I think the answer is obvious.

[BCMG]

How is it that you would even KNOW that's true? That's what I'm talking about right there. You know things like that - you seem to have an intimate relationship with Rush's butt. I would have otherwise never known about such a thing, nor cared.

[Son of the South (c)]

Wonder if 'dud' - without aid of thesaurus or dictionary - can define the following terms:

puerile
boorish
recalcitrant

I'll give him a hint: it is his raison d’etre. His imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend must be very proud.

Have a nice day,
SoS

[Arbiter]

Dude, registering on findagrave.com is a great way to post your parent's travesty (you) for the world to see. Even OBL had a mother Dude... I'm just trying to figure why your folks didn't smother you in your crib when they had the chance...

[Intellectual Conservative]

And we're now on Day Four of the 'Cant Post An Intelligent Argument' crisis ... representatives from the Irish / Dude Symbiote had no comment and could only be heard muttering 'Bush SUCKS! America is the embodiment focus of evil in the world! Rush has anal cysts!'

More on this story as it develops and supplies of hot meds are delivered to them ..

[irish]

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[irish]

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[libmeister]

Despite his protestations to the contrary, Dude must find Rush's anal cysts sexy the way he keeps obsessing over them. Well, at least it keeps Dude from having the time to obsess over ten year old girls.

But really, we should be thankful for Dude because without morons like him populating the world the rest of us could not succeed in such successful fashion.