The wingnut, pope-loving Christofascists are having a grand old time yukking it up over John Edwards’ new residence – a sprawling 102 acre estate in the hills of North Carolina. It’s hypocrisy, they claim, for Edwards to call himself a champion of the poor while living in the Taj Mahal. But like typical uneducated cons, they miss the point entirely. You see, when Edwards becomes president, he will be moving into a much smaller residence in a less desirable neighborhood. It will be rough not having an indoor basketball court or heated toilet seats at the White House, but it’s a sacrifice Edwards is willing to make for the honor to do the People’s Work.
He will of course retain his Chapel Hill plantation as a summer hideway – or perhaps a place to enjoy a much-deserved rest after tirelessly fighting for the poor and downtrodden folks he waves to from his limousine. But for 8 long years, a tiny little shack on Pennsylvania Avenue will be his primary home.
Don’t worry about ol’ John though, he’s no stranger to living humble surroundings. I’m not supposed to say anything, but it’s bound to come out eventually: Edwards grew up the son of poor textile workers.
How many maids will it take to keep the electric toilet seat clean? 10, 20, or 50? And, is that John connected to a septic tank? Is that area zoned for such a large septic tank? Will it contaminate the environment?
Enquiring minds want to know.
Posted by: TT | February 09, 2007 at 06:34 PM
Did Anna Nichole ever use that toilet seat?.. 'cause it could be worth a small fortune now, and not just if I buy it.
Posted by: Che | February 09, 2007 at 07:12 PM
"Edwards grew up the son of poor textile workers."
And just like Navin Johnson and The Exorcist, he was born black. Let's just hope he puts some of those oppressed textile workers to work for him as servants in his mansions. Terazor Heinz had the good taste and decency to bring her servants from South Africa to serve in her mansion and The Breck Girl should follow her lead.
Modern day Democrats lead the way in taking orders from strong womyn and President Edwards, Esq. can make us all proud by selecting Cindy Sheehan as his Vyce Presydentyal running mate. And if anyone tries to stand in hys way on hys history-making march, he'll sue the living shit out of them.
Posted by: The Exorcist | February 09, 2007 at 08:37 PM
Are you Rove? What did you do with Larry? All good progryssyves know that the KKKonstitution will be amended, by force if necessary, to allow Rightful Vice President (and soon to be President) Edwards to be President forever! "Eight years" is just a Rethuglickan talking point, you fascist!
Posted by: Bubblehead | February 09, 2007 at 08:44 PM
I don't know if I could vote for Edwards, sure he sued and caused health care to sky rocket making it possible to get health care for free someday, but I am hoping Osomba?...Asomba? Osamba? whoever the hell he is, I hope he gets a sex change or at least cross dresses so I can vote proudly for him. America needs a good feminine, transgender minority President, it is about time we had one...'don't you think?'
Posted by: DoubleU | February 09, 2007 at 08:51 PM
John Edwards has decided to live in the Two Americas he likes to talk about by building his mansion across the street from a trailer park.
Posted by: Bush4Ever | February 10, 2007 at 03:43 AM
If Edwards was truly a team player he would put wings on that thing and use it to fly Madame Speaker home every Friday.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | February 10, 2007 at 05:03 AM
WELL! As a progressyve tree-hugging fern fondler, I take exception to the number of trees that lost their lives to create that giant lawn for his fugly estate! There is NO excuse for destroying that many of our fryendly CO2 eating trees!
Oh, wait...John Edwards....oh...yeah..he's on "the list" of communist party elites, so it's perfectly OK.
Never mind! Move along! Nothing to see here!
Posted by: Methinks | February 10, 2007 at 05:45 AM
I hope he runs for prom queen. he has such pretty hair. And Hillary can run for prom king.
moonbat mode off:
dont throw irish or any of his sock puppets any bones, if you dont give him what he wants he'll just go away.
moonbat mode on:
Posted by: Dave | February 10, 2007 at 06:59 AM
Methinks,
You are dead right. When will ameriKKKa learn that all people are made equal? But our progressive betters are more equal.
Posted by: Dave | February 10, 2007 at 07:08 AM
No heated toilet seats at the White House? What hardship! Next you'll be telling me there's no caviar!
I'm so grateful, as all progressyves are, that Edwards cares about us, 'little people,' to the point where he'd be willing to endure such horrific living conditions!
Now, I have a busy day ahead of me, channeling fetuses...
Posted by: JannyMae | February 10, 2007 at 07:51 AM
Posted by: Dave | February 10, 2007 at 06:59 AM
I know, Dave. I know...
I guess we all need a session with Kinky Bee to straighten us out!
Posted by: JannyMae | February 10, 2007 at 07:52 AM
John Edwards stars in
"My Fair Blogger!"
**Language warning**
I had to take a break half-way through it, because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe!
Posted by: JannyMae | February 10, 2007 at 08:07 AM
"When will ameriKKKa learn that all people are made equal? But our progressive betters are more equal."
Weeeelll, Dave, Edwards DID say that there are TWO Americas. You can't really call him inconsistent, now can you? He's just leading by example.
Posted by: Methinks | February 10, 2007 at 08:23 AM
It's not difficult to understand how John relates so well to the rest of us poor folk. He's currently out of work.
SO
Posted by: SpinningOlive | February 10, 2007 at 09:16 AM
John Edwards is also hung like Clarence Thomas and he carries his bulge with presidential aplomb.
If only that bumbling justice had that class.
Posted by: Dude | February 10, 2007 at 11:14 AM
All of us are equal in America - some are just more equal than others.
'Two legs good, four legs better!'
Posted by: Son of the South © | February 10, 2007 at 12:21 PM
Fuck! I meant 'Four legs good, two legs better!'
That fuckin' blogger chic at John Edwards' campaign must have fucked with my fuckin' post. Fuckin' bitch. Fuck!
Damn, I'm glad we can say 'fuck' all we want now . . . whoo!
Posted by: Son of the South © | February 10, 2007 at 12:25 PM
Radical Islam - Terror In Its Own Words
If there's a more important program for every American to see in the 21st Century, I don't know what it is.
Posted by: The Exorcist | February 10, 2007 at 01:14 PM
"If there's a more important program for every American to see in the 21st Century, I don't know what it is."
I'll go with "Obsession". I think you can see the whole thing on either Google video or Yourtube.
Posted by: Methinks | February 10, 2007 at 01:40 PM
"If there's a more important program for every American to see in the 21st Century, I don't know what it is."
I'll go with "Obsession". I think you can see the whole thing on either Google video or Yourtube.
Posted by: Methinks | February 10, 2007 at 01:41 PM
"I'll go with "Obsession"."
Isn't that a perfume? I thought our progressyve systyrs stayed farther away from perfume than the Phrench do from shower-stalls. You'll never generate the level of pheromones needed to knock a horse unconcious wearing perfume, Methinks. And just how well would you fit in with the Bush-protestors if you couldn't cause a Police horse to faint from 10 feet away?
In fact, just the very thought of a shower or perfume makes me suspect you might actually be a Repug.
Posted by: The Exorcist | February 10, 2007 at 02:41 PM
"If there's a more important program for every American to see in the 21st Century, I don't know what it is."
I'll go with "Obsession". I think you can see the whole thing on either Google video or Yourtube.
Posted by: Methinks | February 10, 2007 at 02:52 PM
Why did my post go up 3 times? Sorry about that. I don't know how that happened.
Posted by: Methinks | February 10, 2007 at 03:00 PM
"Edwards grew up the son of poor textile workers."
Why do conservatives like Milton Friedman hate the poor so much?
Posted by: Dude | February 10, 2007 at 03:18 PM