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Did he offer to set Bela Pelosi up on a date with his daughter, Mary, who is a Lesbian who likes other Lesbians? Pelosi Galore IS "serving" the San Francisco area.


In light of this, I feel we should just surrender in Iraq.


Things are so clear to me now, and its not just the LSD. We need the french. Only they can save us from winning in iraq (and losing the whitehouse) now.

Around the world, the french are renowned for their unique methods of combat. The basic goal of french warfare is to end the combat phase as quickly as possible. Incidentally, the fastest way to achieve this goal is to run away.

In the olympics, a man shoots a gun and a number of men/women/transgenders run away from the gun to a "finish" line. The winner is the person who gets there first and gets a gold medal.

We must be like the olympian, running as fast as possible away from the people with the guns so we can get the gold medal "whitehouse".

Its the french thing to do, its the olympian and the democratic thing to do and its what we must do.

In addition, we must also learn to emulate hotdogs. Not only are they edible, but they come from many, many, many different animals, chemicals, people and jews. So much diversity! We must be diverse and tolerant, otherwise, we won't be any better than those dirty jews.

On a related note, I forgot who I am........ I think my name is fred.......or steven.........maybe ralph? Nevermind that, but be sure to vote for me in '08!

Just give me a moment to figure out what I believe in.........


Alright, I've figured out my platform.

1. Redeploy the troops to Ted Kennedy's car. Then give Ted some whiskey. You know what happens next, no more troops!

2. Kill the dirty jews. The best manner is a stake straight to the heart. Since the military is gone, we'll use the repugs to accomplish this task. As the jews have sharp horns, nasty pointy teeth and serrated ankles, they will certainly take down many neocons in the process. Killing two birds in one stone.

3. We must put an end to all violence everywhere. No form of murder is ever acceptable, especially not in the case where bush murdered tookie williams and other blacks.

4. I will ban individual free thought, err, I mean "we" will ban individual free thought. Its dangerous and leads to republicanism. Communism is the key to the next phase in our transcendance.

5. A newer, greater form over government will be hatched. The human race will become a sweaty throbbing mass, forever locked in the mother of all sex orgies. Free love for everyone. Then we'll add animals to the pile and crossbreed like they do at PETA.

6. Kill the jews, U.S. military and repugs. I'm not sure how to do these yet......but I feel like I did in the past. Strange, no? Must be the Windex talking.

7. Worship shoes. Shoes are the life bringers. They stalwartly protect our feet and humans step on them daily. They are the truly downtrodden and more than worthy of our religeous worship.

8. Convince everyone that global warming is real so it becomes a more effective political device. Yes, I know that if the world heats up greatly, the jews will be the first to die. However, I don't think this sacrifice is worth the political points gained if global warming actually turned out to be true.

9. Kill the jews to put an end to all violence. I might've said this one already.

10. Um, something else.....I forget.

11. I still forget, but if I put more numbers it'll look like I have alot to say.

12. Poodle mandible paste cream bars.

13. Lollerskating Jehosephats.

14. Do you think I need to lose some weight?


2133290. Porcupines. I believe in porcupines. Elect me please. I stand for the common belief in porcupines.


Elect me or else,

(whatever my name is)


Obama and The Mama for President!


My KKKasey, damn it, I did it again, see what Bush has driven me too? I mean my 'CASEY', would have made a fine police officer, and dying here, in America, fighting regular old, run of the mill, religious crime (so-called Islamic Terrorism), would have been honorable and kept my marriage in tact. Now what am I supposed to do, Bush and the NeoKKKons are keeping Guys, I mean 'Gays', like me, from marrying... I mean 'Lesbians'. Damn it Bush, you have me all Bass Ackwards!


"14. Do you think I need to lose some weight?"

No, just ditch the pants. They make your butt look big.


Yes! Let's lure them to fight in San Fransisco!


Fight enemies at home: that IS very valid advice.

Saves on the expenditures and thus cuts the profits of Haliburton.

Fist of Etiquette

So Dick Cheney is Nancy Pelosi's father? I sure hope he doesn't lure her over to the dark side.


"The answer is obvious, but it won’t happen until neocons like Cheney learn to keep their big yaps shut and let the Democrats do their business."

Yes, starting with "doing their business" on the troops and their mission... while we're at it, why not the Constitution too?


"Yes, starting with "doing their business" on the troops and their mission... while we're at it, why not the Constitution too?"

You mean

like this?

Nothing like a group of drunk-with-power Democrats to piss on the Constitution of the United States of America.


It's okay JM, 'cause once Hillary is elected the Dems can reverse all those silly laws and give her ultimate authority again!


Dick Cheney can't say that! What is he thinking!Speaking truth to power is a one way street. Only we progressives can do this. Everyone that's not a progressive must just shut their hate-filled, hating, hatespeech-spewing, mouths.

Any-hoo, in a few years after we take back our rightful position of power, speaking ill of Mrs. Pelosi or any progressive will be a hate/thought crime.

After we surrender to islmic overlords we can both join hands in our global fight against the REAL enemys of peace and progress, Jews, Capitalism and Global warming.


After we surrender to islmic overlords


I mispelled islamic. If this offends any of our muslim readers, I'm deeply sorry. But remember, we progressives are on your side, helping you win this illegal, immoral war.


No worries Dave, Mohammad (piece of luv upon his cute red rashy ass) my pet/partner, forgives you.

Jay Guevara

The answer is obvious, but it won’t happen until neocons like Cheney learn to keep their big yaps shut and let the Democrats do their business.

And the first thing we need to do is pass an Enabling Act, just like Hugo did, and that other guy some time ago.


Then give Ted some whiskey. You know what happens next, no more troops!

You mean MORE whiskey. He has a bar in his office in the Capitol and he has quite a tolerance. It might be more effective if we cut him off from alcohol for a day and let the DTs do the rest.


Damn right Jay. It really worked out well for them too! It's sad that some of the wealthy imbeciles from Cuba swim over here to see how the poor and opressed live in the world...


"...wealthy imbeciles from Cuba swim over here to see how the poor and opressed live in the world..." - Arbiter

Exactly! I call it "American Promise: The Greatest Lie in History". As the progressyves will point out (with the ferver of cats in heat), Americans are dumb, intellectually underdeveloped dolts who are taken advantage of by a power elite mostly consisting of Dick Cheney. The highest standard of living in the world, high incomes and high level of economic and political freedom are a mere smoke-screen and a mirage designed by Cheney to hypnotize the population and lure unsuspecting immigrants from morally superior and more prosperous countries like Somalia and Cuba. Thank Gaiaa am now among people who actually "get" that.


I couldn't agree more Methinks. As I sit here typing this on my laptop in Starbucks sipping a soy latte, I yearn for a day when I can stop begging this corrupt regime for welfare money and food stamps and disability pay (I'm a chronic sufferer of hemmorhoids) and live in a truly enlyghtened country like Cuba...


Your decript condition is shameful in a rich country like America, Arbiter. If you had lived in Phrance or even Germany, you would receive absolutely free healthcare. Sure, it will probably take you a year to schedule your initial doctor's appointment even if you hemmorhoid is bigger than your head and you will likely have to endure a surgical waiting list of five years before your hemmorhoid can be fixed BUT it will all be free to you.

Because of the trauma work will cause you, you will be entitled to a "living wage" while taxpayers foot the bill of your annual spa get-aways to help relieve the stress of merely living. The benefits of socialized medicine and a welfare program that supports our underprivilaged (such as yourself) is astounding and completely flies over the heads of stooopid American Rethuglicans. They keep pointing to pointless statistics like Germany's welfare rolls ballooning by 400% while the growth of wage earners paying into the welfare system grew by only 39% over the same time period. They miss the point entirely, heartless morons!


"even if you hemmorhoid is bigger than your head"


That's another thing that pisses me off about the crappy medical care here: No flippin confidential patient profiles!! How in the hell did you know the size of my hemmorhoid!!!!!???


"That's another thing that pisses me off about the crappy medical care here: No flippin confidential patient profiles!!" - Arbiter

Well, now, Arbiter...confidentiality, indeed "privacy", has no place in a collectivist society. You'll understand that better once the democrats take over and your section 8 housing is eventually transformed into a communal apartment and the other six families move in with you. It's upsetting at first but it's all in the name of "the cause" - equal poverty for all.



Once again your logic has defeated me...

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