John's Gone, but not Forgotten

John Kerry’s announcement last week that he was bowing out of the 2008 Presidential race came as a shock to those of us who had completely forgotten he was running. Indeed, there wasn’t a dry eye in Congress as the esteemed Senator from Massachusetts gave his tearful concession speech in that long, meandering monotone that has made many a weak-kneed political adversary wish they had a cyanide capsule to chomp down on.

I had planned to watch Kerry's historical speech in its entirety and post a written transcript as a service to my readers, but I ran out of coffee and No-Doz about ten minutes into it. There was something about Vietnam, something about voting for the Iraq war before voting against it, and possibly something about hamsters - but I may have just been dreaming that part. Suffice it to say that John Kerry has proven that he's a true statesman, certainly undeserving of the shoddy treatment he received from a few stupid troops who couldn’t take a joke. But rest assured that while Sen. Kerry’s presidential campaign is finished, he will continue his illustrious career of kicking America in the balls for many years to come.

Comments

[Kinky Bee]

First!!

Is John F'n Kerry that Phrench dude who tried to run for President, but lost because he was caught 1 too many times making out with that pretty boy from North Carolina? How UnProgressyve can people be? What's wrong with the French guy with great hair French kissing another guy with great hair? That is perfectly natural, sorta like Wild Ass Peter using solar marital aids while on the beach. Nothing wrong with it, and certainly shouldn't cost someone the Presidency of the Free World, and shouldn't force them from running away from the Presidency and back to Phrance.

[camojack]

John Kerry decided not to run for President, after which he may well decide to run for President.

Hillary for runner up in '08!!!

[DonkeyDick]

Somebody refresh my memory. Who is this John Kerry fellow?

Is he dating Nancy Pelosi, Barbra Streisand or anybody like that? Or maybe Cher? Paris Hilton? George Clooney?

Did he have anything to do with Barbaro's death?

I get ALL my news from "Blame Bush" but this really confuses me...

[MMM'BILLY]

Hi. I wanted to say a few words about the oh so honorable John Kerry. It's hard enough to live in the United States as a schizophrenic and a french person. I would know, because I am too. But John Kerry, and in fact all of his personalities went beyond the call of duty, so much so that I feel he should be president, and I feel the same way as well.

John Kerry and his other personalities, were a man willing to lead the entire United States; lead us where, no one knows. Probably not even John Kerry.

As a member of the French American Shizophrenic community, I feel we should honor this heroic man, willing to give away our nations secrets, make backroom deals with communists so we didn't have to, willing to evaluate and pursue both sides of the coin at the same time. This man and all of his personalities deserve our thanks and mine as well and mine too as well as mine.

From the bottom of my heart, and at the wishes of all my personalities, thanks.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I think we should be thankful Senator Kerry is remaining a senator. America needs people like him to go out and show the world that not all of us mindlessly love our country and want it to succeed at the cost of Europe possibly looking bad. That kind of nuanced P.R. work is much more difficult to pull off if you're president.

[Dude]

His defeat paved the way for Hillary '08.

Weeee!

[Bush4Ever]

John Kerry went to VietNam? Why wasn't this made public during the 2004 elections?

[Bubblehead]

Rightful President Kerry had nothing to do with Barbaro's murder -- that was Bu-shaitan trying to distract the sheeple from his murder of the oldest person in the world. I mean, what are the odds that three 114+ year old people are just going to keel over within the space of a couple of months? Clearly, Bus(hitler) is in the process of killing everyone who's older than is Dad so his evil father can have the world record for being the oldest person.

[Dude]

Seeing as how John Kerry, much to the RNC's dismay, is not running for president in 2008, but is still in the Senate, perhaps the title should read:

"John's Forgotten, but not Gone"

[Arbiter]

As Senator Reid said,

"I want to bang John Kerry, for he is my friend."

[brainsample]

"John Kerry went to VietNam? Why wasn't this made public during the 2004 elections?" - B4E

A lot of facts were kept secret in 2004, including the fact that Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian.

[Moonchild]

A lesbian? You have to be kidding! Why didn't Kerry bring this up in one of the debates?! That could've netted him 20 million votes easy since everyone knows that the only thing that scares Xians more than peace and social justice is homosexuality.

[Bush4Ever]

"Rightful President Kerry had nothing to do with Barbaro's murder"

Barbaro Osama got murdered? Who's Mrs William Jefferson Clinton going to have for a running mate in 2008? Where was ChimpFace Smirky McArrogant when the murder took place?

[Dave]

This is proof that amerKKKa is a bunch of stupid-poo-poo-heads.

I agree that he should have let the people know about his service in vietnam. I think that would have helped him. But in his humble way he wouldn't talk about it or let the msm talk about it. It's not all about him. He's just that kind of brave, noble guy.

I did all I could to get him elected. I voted 58 times for him but bu$h stole the vote.

When I look at those sad eyes on his long face I know that we progressives let down a great man.

[The Exorcist]

"Rightful President Kerry had nothing to do with Barbaro's murder"

"When I look at those sad eyes on his long face"

How do we know they're not one in the same? Did anyone actually see JFK make it back from his patriotic Stars & Stripes USO show he was doing overseas? And who's the lonely progressyve that's going to spend another unromantic night without having his colon perforated?

[aha]

Yes, Senator Kerry had to go back to his day job as the butler for the Addams Family. He and Uncle Fester...

[The Exorcist]

Uncle Fester? Surely you're not comparing Terazor with Uncle Fester. With those long locks of flowing well-Ph-balanced hair to match John Fraud's, she can only be compared to Cousin Itt.

http://www.fortunecity.com/bennyhills/pun/190/cousinitttheaddamsfamily.htm

[ponytailed guy]

Since Jean Kerry is not running for Prez anymore can that one reporter babe he was trying to bang come back from exile?

[Bush4Ever]

"Since Jean Kerry is not running for Prez anymore can that one reporter babe he was trying to bang come back from exile?"

Only if she has more money than TuhRayZuh...

[Son of the South ©]

Now ya'll are just makin' stuff up! John Kerry was never in the Armed Forces or went to Vietnam.

Cut it out!!

[aha]

John Kerry was so in Vietnam. It was the best kept secret of his bid in 2004. You could only find out about his service by going to his website which showed all kinds of stuff, and then once it got trumpeted around, in a typical show of modesty and self effacement, he would retract take down the pages.
Sort of a cyber equivalent of tossing his medals over the fence. I guess he really wanted us to know and understand his experience over there but just couldn't quite bring himself to show the Vietnam War Museum in Ho Chi Minh City, where he was honored by the North for his efforts to end the war.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

To me John JFK 2's finest moment was when he was asked if hypothetically he knew for certain that Saddam had WMD's he would have been willing to invade:

"You bet I might have!"

[Bubblehead]

Hey, what happened to the Jew thread?

[aha]

Senator John Foreagainst Kerry. A man for all seasons.

[aha]

The Jew thread is on the latest 24 post.