FORDitler, Dead at Last

Ronald Reagan. Cap Weinberger. And now, Gerald H. Ford. It's like Christmas for Progressives. Yet judging by the way the so-called "mainstream media" is lavishing praise and adulation upon the man they once dubbed an “affable dunce”, a “stumbling boob”, and “the Godfather of Soul”, you’d think we should all be wallowing in despair that the man who pardoned Nixon finally got what was coming to him.

Yes, I’ll admit that even with my barely concealed glee over the death of another ReTHUGniKKAN warmonger, as well as my with my narcissistic inability to say anything genuinely nice about anybody who doesn’t share my political views, I’m tempted to begrudgingly concede that at least he wasn’t Bush and show a little reverence for the man. But to take the high road now would betray everything I stand for. The reason BlameBush! continually rises above other progessive blogs is that I am never afraid to speak the truth as ugly and fabricated as it may seem.

Ford was indeed Bushlike - perhaps even more so than Bush himself. Let the hate mail fly, but you cannot deny the similarities. The most blaringly obvious is that neither Ford nor Bush were ever elected; both exploiting an obscure Constitutional loophole to steal their way into office. Both were quick to send our tots off to fight overseas, yet neither possessed the courage to put on a uniform and badmouth the nation in a time of war. Perhaps on the advice of their mutual puppetmaster, Dick Cheney, neither Ford nor Bush ever met with Cindy Sheehan, the greiving mother who lost her only son in Bush’s illegal and immoral war for oil. On environmental issues, Ford and Bush were practically identical, neither doing anything to prevent Hurricane Katrina nor lifting a finger to save any Black voters in the aftermath.

Most importantly, neither one of the fanatically religious peeResidents devoted a single penny of federal funds to AIDS research, the single standard by which all presidents are judged. Millions of gay Americans died painful and unflamboyant deaths while Ford putted around the golf course with his rich country club pals. Sadly, their bodies were never found. Perhaps they never will be – or maybe we’re just not looking in the right place. I’d suggest digging around the seventh green at Pebble Beach.

The most striking condemnation of Ford will probably become his own epitaph, yet it came not from a political adversary, but his beloved wife:

"His life was filled with love of God, his family and his country."

Indeed. But thankfully, the long national nightmare is over.

Comments

[brainsample]

I believe the Ford Pinto was his idea and was certainly named after him, sort of a midwestern version of the peoples' car. Unlike the mythical holocaust of WW II, how many innocent minority progressives died in the gas tank explosions, like so many over-roasted marshmallows?

[Talking Toaster]

Yeh, and wasn't Ford the guy who built the Edsel? That sure tore the wallet out of most Hollywood progressives. Ford was a bigger thief than Hoover - that door-to-door carpet bagging salesman.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Der Forder is probably in "heaven" right now convincing God to pardon Satan.

And the worst part of all of this is that these news stories about the late president's only act while in office are going to remind Bush that he, too, has the power to pardon his fellow Republicans. So everyone might as well get ready to see Jack Abramoff and Mark Foley and Ken Lay walking around free as a jaybird.

[Bush4Ever]

I believe that the death of this hateful screaming shrieking evil spiteful unhinged hate-filled evil KKKhristian KKKonservative Re-Pugnant-KKKan is Gaia's way of telling us better days are ahead for we Enlyghtened Lyberals, I mean, Progressyves.

[Princess Leia in a Cheese Danish Bikini]

Ford was indeed Bushlike - perhaps even more so than Bush himself.

It is insights like this which keep me coming back here each morning.

We are not worthy. Now the only remaining question is this: with all the reminders of how awful the economy was during the FordHitler's Reign of Terror when he ruthlessly Whipped Inflation on the back of the Poor Man and wielded the dreaded Veto Pen of Oppression, can we stop saying "the worst economy since Herbert Hoover" and start saying "the worst economy since Der FordHitler"?

[Bush4Ever]

I just saw that GruupenFuhrerReichtenBurg Ford is going to lie in state in the Rotunda...EVEN WHEN THEY'RE DEAD THESE EVIL EVIL EVIL RE-PUGS CAN'T STOP LYING!!!!!

[baslimthecripple]

Liberal Larry, you are sooooo right... err correct that is. At least Ford has become a truely good Rethuglican. He's dead.

[Dude]

Think we'll get a day off, like we did for Ronnie Ray-Gun?

[ponytailed guy]

The world won't be safe until the last Republican is hanged from our ceremonial Tree of Peace and Tolerance.

[DoubleU]

My repuglacum brother purchased one of Ford's gas guzzling SUVs last month. I laughed at my brother when I heard Ford died. Where is he going to go to get the environmental ruining truck serviced now the man is dead?

[PONC MurthaFan]

HEY HEY!

HO HO!

NOW BUSH SR

HAS TO GO!

It's truly a great time to be a Progessive! All of the old angry white males (*spit*) are dying off and taking their rightful place in hell. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Raygun, James Brown, and now Ford! Ford is a twofer even, since he also invented the Gaia destroying automobile.

Praise be to the God's of the Sun and Moon that we have "people of color" to take their place. Hilary, Nancy, and Harry- not to mention my main MAN Murtha- can stand above us and rain lots of golden utopia upon us.

Praise Gaia!!!!

Sorry this comment is so short, and I can't provide more insight. But MurthaFan's mom has agreed to let me drive the MurthaFan Family SUV today. After much whinning, yelling and pouting, of course. So I'm off to the mall to trade in my Xmas (*spit*) gifts for cash. Then I will drive to the "colored" part of town to purchase the real meaning of a joyful "holiday" season.

You know what I'm talken bout!! Also, check this out- Since I'll be driving the SUV many miles today, My NAZIFACSIST BHOOOS goosesteppen stepfather... MurthaFan'sDad, expects me to refill the gas tank!!!!!

As if!!! I'll leave the Gaia raping to him and Haliburton.

[Jeremy]

Mother Sheehan beaten us to the punch!

Sheehan blames Ford for Iraq!

[Dave]

As a progressive, I hold a candle of tolerance and reason up to this present dark night of hate. My feelings on the death of a former leader?

Boo-hoo! I guess that he took time off from beating is drunk wife to die. I hope that all of those banjo-playing, cave dwelling, barefoot,nascar watching,stupid,dumb,poo-poo-headed,meat eating,Jump little eichmans jump asskicking,rednecks are in tears over their poor dead
gruppenfuehrer. Good! I hope their black,intolerant hearts break!

Just remember what President Albert Gore said. "The internal combustion engine is the biggest threat to life on earth" Mr Gore was dead right about the evil that this Mr Ford bought to this once pure and pristine earth. I will never forgive him for that. I hope he enjoys hell!

Just you repukes wait until Carter or Clinton shed their mortal coil. Then we'll show you how to have a funeral!!!

[Waffen]

Need I remind you that he also fought a illegal,immoral war on communism as well!

[PONC MurthaFan]

Good link Jeremy, even though it was to that rove controlled Nazi website who's name I'll not dirty this pure website by naming.

The Peace Mother gets it!
Just like us. Why can't the majority of ameribots get it? I'm afraid it's due to inbreding and christ worship in the "heart land".

I pray to Gaia that one day.. Someone with French sensibility, or even brown people type Mooselimb OverLords will set the sheeple on the right path.

It's a dream, I know, but a gal, er.. I mean guy can hope can't he?

[DonkeyDick]

Somtimes I wish there were a god, because if there were a god I'd ask him/her/it how come EVIL people like Ford and Reagan get to live so long when the wonderful members of the Kennedy clan get taken down in their prime.

If we had more Kennedys who survived we would enjoy cheaper scotch, wind farms off of Cape Cod, driving and swimming lessons for all, abortions on demand, redistribution of wealth, (except for the Kennedys, of course. They need the money to buy votes and do good.)cocaine for the masses, maybe even a new liver for Teddy.

Sigh. Sometimes I think that life is not fair.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

I'm not going to cry over a dead rethuglikkkan, but shouldn't we ask ourselves why the last surviving member of the Warren Commission, which covered up the Bush assassassassassanation of President JFK, should die so suddenly at the sprightly age of 93? Does Bush think he can fool us?

[libmeister]

I bet FORDitler would have pardoned Adolf Hitler. But really, the hatemonger Ford was essentially a good man, a fact which has been validated by his death since the only good RethugliKKKan is a dead RethugliKKKan.

And frankly I am more than a little disappointed that Jerry FORDitler didn't publicly connect-the-dots regarding George W. Bush's cunning assassination of President JFK in 1963.

[Bush4Ever]

Reagan in 2004, Ford in 2006...Papa Bush in 2007? Jimmah Carter in 2008? Don't you people get it?!?!

CONNECT.

THE.

DOTS.

Bu$Hitler's failed policy of keeping former Presidents alive is a smokescreen for his hideous evil plot to be the ONLY President alive!!!

[Cricket]

Ford never went to war. He was an Eagle Scout and cleaned up his dog's messes.
That's more than I can say for Clinton.

[Dumb Ox]

Ford was indeed the worst president ever, except for Nixon and until 2001... quote unquote from every mental and moral midget lib on the blogosphere... Now THAT's funny!

Happy Hitleresque New Year!

Dumb Ox

[OmarTheTentMaker]

I'm waiting for the official announcement we'll get the day off. How old is Jimmy Carter?

[Methinks]

Oh, Jeremy! Whenever I see/hear Cindy Sheehan, I am reminded of that commercial "...this is your brain on drugs". After all only super duper extra crunchy progressyve types like her would have touched that acid.

[chucks]

You guys are gonna feel real bad when Bush pardons wilyum j clinton at the end of his term.
Than you will learn to vote republican and prosper.

[Bubblehead]

I most hate Ford because he pardoned Cheney and Rumsfeld. (I admit I can't take credit for coming up with this historical fact -- this guy over at DU beat me to it.) I also hate that he forced them to name the theater where pResident Lincoln was shot after him.