The Corey Lidle Assassination; Bush's October Surprise?

OH MY GODDESS, HE’S DONE IT AGAIN!” I screamed hysterically. ‘BUSH HAS FLOWN ANOTHER PLANE INTO A BUILDING!”

“No, no, no, Professym Chomstein!” one of my students calmly interrupted, “It was Corey Lidle, a pitcher for the Yankees.”

“OH MY GODDESS!” I screamed. “BUSH IS KILLING OFF THE NEW YORK YANKEES!!”

I waited a moment for the cheers and applause to die down and then shot an angry glare across the classroom. My students have shown remarkable spiritual growth since I started teaching Midget Studies and the Kama Sutra 101 at Evergreen State College, yet I often find myself amazed by their insensitivity.

“Need I remind you that the New York Yankees is Senator Clinton’s favorite baseball team?”

A moan of terrible sorrow filled the room.

Poor Hill. As a Yankees fan, the news of Lidle’s mysterious death must have hit her especially hard - although it wasn’t all that much of a mystery when you consider the time of the whole thing. The Bush Junta obviously needed another Reichstag Fire to draw the nation’s eyes away from his failed North Korea policy, not to mention the recent MoveOn.org study which estimated that the Shrub has killed over 600,000 professional baseball players either indirectly or with his own two hands since declaring “Mission Accomplished” aboard an aircraft carrier in May of 2003. Breaking the heart of his arch-nemesis and crippling her on the eve of the November elections is the veritible icing on Bush's fascist cake.

As a girl growing up on the mean streets of Brooklyn, Hillary spent many a weekend at Yankee Stadium with her father, wildly cheering every single touchdown the Yanks made. She carried her love for the team into college, much to the disdain of her progressive peers. While her friends were burning their bras and dropping acid in protest of the Vietnam War, Hillary was holed up in her dorm room, pleasuring herself to a Joe Pepitone rookie card.

Her accession to the throne didn’t hinder Hillary’s devotion to the Yanks, either. While other First Ladies fussed over new wallpaper and China patterns, Hillary spent her tenure at the White House plastering the walls with Yankees pennants and memorabilia. And despite her presidential duties, she never missed a home game. Like a true Yankee fan, she would often wait outside the ballpark after the game hoping to get an autograph from one of the players. Sometimes, she would follow one home, leaving a dead bird or small rodent on their doormat as a token of her appreciation. There aren’t many “Yankee Fans” who will do that. So when Bush killed Cory Lidle yesterday, he killed a part of Hillary, too.

Let’s just hope it wasn’t the part that does the fundraising.

Comments

[ponytailed guy]

I hear tell Hillary was the biggest Yankees fan in the northern suburbs of Chicago. That is when she wasn't surviving the mean streets of Brooklyn.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Everyone knows that Senator Clinton was named after Derek Hillary Jeter. Bush can be such a creep sometimes.

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

It brings a tear to me eye when I recall the glory days, when peace guided the planets and love steered the stars [sometime after it steered amphibious oldsmobiles of distinguished senators]...but anyhoo....during Camelsnot--it was so precious how when Most Significant Person on the Planet William Jefferson Clinton hurled Hillary across home plate at the Yanks opener, because he misunderstood the request for him to "Throw the First PITCH". But Hillary, was a good sport about it. She dusted herself off...walked away proudly... in time to take her seat at the 50 yard line just in time for Michael Jordans tee off. And now thanks to the Shrubinator, she'll never get to see her favorite team win the Stanley Cup.
In light of this, I feel we should surrender in Detroit.

[brainsample]

Bush may not have directly killed Corey, but the frustration Lidle felt as a progressive muslim obviously came to a boiling point after Halliburton fixed the 2006 MLB playoffs.

Weep a tear for our pinstriped mujahadeen. And then contemplate this: Rachel Corey/Corey Lidle/Casey Sheehan (Casey sounds a lot like Corey).

There is no such thing as a coincidence.

[Dodger]

At least only one famous person died in the crash.

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[Starchild Dingbatticus.]

I love baseball!

Everytime the goalie scores a touchdown my wyfe and I yell YAHTZEE! with pride and dignity in our lifestyle choices.

To know that Ms. Rodham shares our passion for Amerikkka's Game, is the icing on the dyke! Er cake.

[Dodger]

Well said, 注册香港公司、离岸公司 | .

[camojack]

It was George, all right...Steinbrenner. Trying to cut his losses...

[Bush4Ever]

I'm betting that the pitchers who play for the Yankees next year pitch very carefully and very well. At least they will if they know what's good for them.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Hillary loves the yankees so much that she was nicknamed "Babe" after Babe Ruth (and that talking pig).

[UN Doctor]

So, we must ask ourselves and Dr. Ruth West heimer, what turned Hillary from a carnivore into a vagitarian?

[Moonchild]

The real surprise here is that Chimp and Hastert took time out from their weekend NAMBLA retreat to stage another killing. That'd they'd kill in order to frighten the idiot voters away from electing enlightened leaders does not surprise me. It's a good thing it won't work; the dummies who vote are the same morons who still believe that Diebold hasn't already programmed the election results.

[Che]

“OH MY GODDESS!” I screamed. “BUSH IS KILLING OFF THE NEW YORK YANKEES!!”

I waited a moment for the cheers and applause to die down...

Typical reaction from Mariners fans. Or Rockies, Dodgers, *Sox, Devil Rays, Clippers, etc.

But is there a deeper message here? Was Corey Lidle related to Rachel Corey? I tell you, the Joooos had something to do with it!

[Terry Fied]

My dear Watson, one question for you: Why did Mr. Bush wait till the yankees were already eliminated from the super-bowl before doing this hatchet job? Common sense would dictate that this should have been done earlier, to ruin the yankees chance of winning the coveted superbowl award,the Stanley Cup. Elementary, my dear Larry. Perhaps Joe Torre was responsible for this and was letting out a little frustration at his players for handing him another loss. As far as Hillary losing a favorite player on a favorite team, have you forgotten about the Cuban baseball team? The Yankees may be Hillary's favorite baseball team away from home, but in her own backyard in beautiful Castro country,nothing comes close to her affection for her dear Cuban team. Elementary, indeed.

[Bush4Ever]

As an aside, the stunningly beautiful Susan Estrichen is going to be a guest on the radio show hosted by that hag, Laura Ingraham, today, Friday the 13th.

[Bush4Ever]

Perhaps now the veil of KKKarl Rovian mind kkkontrol will be lifted from the eyes and ears and noses and throats of The people and FINALLY Chimpeachment proceedings can begin.

[libmeister]

I want to express my heartfelt thanks to progressyve Addison who is attempting to speak truth to power with this following post at WhizBang:

This is just another attempt by the Bush Family Evil Empire and International Zionism to blame the poor helpless Muslim "terrorists" for their own evil doin's:

FACT: A "single engine plane" COULD NOT crash into an apartment building and merely knock out a few windows.

FACT: The fires burning in the building COULD NOT have been caused by the mere ignition of aircraft fuel. The plane in question was too small to carry enough feul to start such a large fire.

FACT: CIA/Mossad have been known to plant pyrotechnic devices in their past. Could they have planted firebombs in the precise apartment the plane hit? It seems likely.

FACT: It is possible to steer a plane by remote control -- especially a small one.

FACT: Initial "eyewitness" reports displayed great disagreement. Some insisted it was a "helicopter" that "crashed" into the building; others claimed a "small plane." Why was there so much dispute on such a readily-ascertained fact? There can be only one answer: Because it was actually a cruise missile fired by an offshore US submarine.

...and the most damning fact of all...

FACT: Absolutely no cameras -- NONE -- captured pictures or videos of this supposed "plane" hitting the apartment building. A small plane travels slow enough to be easily captured by even cheap video cameras. This strongly suggests the "aircraft" which hit the building was travelling too quickly to be captured on film, and again was therefore most likely a cruise missile fired by an offshore US submarine, almost certainly painted with Zionist slogans like "We love money!" and "Ben Gazzara Rocks!"

Damn that Bu$Hitler and his Rovian Mind Control Rays.

[RWing Nut]

The residents of adjoining buildings to where the "plane" crashed were evacuated allegedly for safety. The real reason is to allow explosives to be planted. Look for collapses in the news-cycle leading up to the election.

[ponytailed guy]

Bush has used his connections with MLB to crush Hillary's Olympic dreams... And you know what I'm talkin' bout.

[Dave]

As a progressive, I'm always willing to go a bit deeper down the rabbit hole to prove that rethugicans are evil.

where did the airplane crash? Upper Manhattan.

Who lives in Upper Manhattan? The cream of the progressive crop. Frank Rich, Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, Eric Alterman and the list goes on and on.

How do I know this? They remind the little people that read their columns and blogs of this fact endlessly. It's a way that to remind us that not everyone is doing well under bu$h's war on the poor. And also it's a good way they can say "I'm better, richer, smarter than you" than coming right and saying it.

These brave progressives fight bu$h's dark army every day from their upscale lofts, Giving us hope that one day, all men will be made truely equal. We underclass working 14 hours a day in some govt owned factory for a food ration card. and they writing hosanna's to our true leader madam Hillary from their fashionable uptown apts.

Bu$h will do ANYTHING to stay in power!

[Stop Corporate Terror]

Bush wanted to:

1) Demoralize Hillary! and intimidate her out of challenging him in 2008;
2) Punish New York voters for trying to sabotage his re-Selection in 2004;
3) Instill terror in the voters right before the 2006 election;
4) Gain vengeance against Rachel Corrie’s family, because she Spake Truth to Power;
5) Frighten the New York intelligencia who live in Upper Manhattan, so they would stop Speaking Truth to Power;
6) Still have plausible deniability.

There was only one way to kill all these “birds” with a single “stone” – use a submarine-launched surface-to-air missile to blow up Lidle’s plane just as it flew alongside the apartment building.

That brilliant fool!

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

O_M_G!!! IT is the end of the World as we know it! Thanks to the Shrubinator! First Babs Streisand is forced to hurl the F-bomb at an obvious Bush-ite plant at her concert, then Bush attacks Queen JezebHill with Corey Lidle's plane and now he's forced Err America to file for moral Bankruptcy...err...I mean
Bankruptcy Protection. Surely George Sorea$$..uhm..$oro$ can afford the giant condom necessary to shield the always Affable Al Freakenstein and Reliably Relevant Randi Rhodes Scholar from STD's (Shrubinators Terrorist Devices)~! Gaiallah Help Us!

[Bush4Ever]

I'm betting that Cory Lidle and his instructor are currently "enjoying the hospitality" at Club Gitmo.

[Friend of USA]

" Canada troops battle 10-foot Afghan marijuana plants "

read it here