A surprised interviewer got a glimpse at the face of true evil last week when Vice peeResident SElect Dick "Torquemada" Cheney, whose daughter is a lesbian, boasted that he would dunk a terrorist in water if it would save "American lives" of all things.
American lives? I cannot place enough exclamation points at the end of this sentence to adequately express my outrage!!!!!!!
Put aside for a moment that fact that American lives are not Cheney's to save; but are they even worth saving? Does a society that would sanction the dunking of an innocent terrorist for the sake of self-preservation even deserve to exist?
As a patriotic liberal who spent the weekend vainly hoping his underwear would dry through his pants, I couldn't live with myself knowing that somewhere out there someone was going through the same unspeakable torture just to protect the lives of people who are vastly inferior to me. I encourage other progressives who feel the same way to join their shrill voices with mine and demand that that no more terrorists are dunked, doused, drenched, or moistened in our names. The lives of the American people are simply not worth it.
That evil blue meanie Cheney made me so mad, I peed my pants too...We should all have a mass pee-in (pants) to pull our barbarous troops out of Iraq.
Posted by: Huggo Chavez | October 30, 2006 at 06:23 PM
If only the Bush Administration would actually LIE about water-boarding! This tip-toeing around the truth, to keep it the truth, is pissing me off!! Is that what all this PEE talk is about?
Posted by: REN | October 30, 2006 at 09:14 PM
Pee for peace!
Posted by: Dodger | October 30, 2006 at 09:45 PM
Larry, you make me moist.
Posted by: Speaks Truth to Chimps | October 30, 2006 at 09:47 PM
Based on the initial comments, you should also have added "urinated on" to your lists of things that shouldn't be done to freedom fighters -- unless, of course, they're really into that kind of thing.
Posted by: Bubblehead | October 30, 2006 at 11:34 PM
2 completely unrelated things:
I remember when Nancy Pelosi was on "Meet the Press" and she said, "... you’re paying your considerable taxes, thank you for your patriotism ..."
So our motto should be, "We're going to increase the Patriotism of the top 1% of wage-earners". Huh? Huh? We can appeal to those backwoods, redneck, sister-impregnating white-boys from the South, "Damn, I'm all fur increasifying Patrutism."
And second, here's my take on the fact that MJ Fox didn't bother to read the constitutional amendment he was endorsing.
Posted by: Speaks Truth to Chimps | October 30, 2006 at 11:52 PM
I think you're "all wet"...
Posted by: camojack | October 31, 2006 at 02:08 AM
We shouldn't be water boarding these terrorists, we should be snowboarding them! I think if we try to find some common ground, if we try bonding with them over our extreme sports, then maybe we can stop the violence altogether.
Imagine it: President Kerry and terrorist leaders in some tight powder, the president pulling a phat nollie frontflip and catching some wicked sweet air, impressing the freedom fighters into laying down their weapons and going all peaceable like. Just think, if only they hadn't fudged the voting in Ohio [sniff] then Al Zarqawi might still be alive today [sniff]...
On the other hand, if one of those sons of bitches were to knock President Kerry over, I would expect an immediate escalation of hostilities.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | October 31, 2006 at 02:30 AM
The only reason we have to waterboard the Freedom Fighters is because Bu$Hitler's refusal to sign the Gaia-Blessed Kyoto Treaty has resulted in Universla Global Warming almost completely eliminating snow except where the HitlerBurton ElectroMagnetic Weather Machines create it to punish Lybral, I mean, Progressyve, areas that did not vote for Der ChimpenReichsFuhrer.
Connect. The. Dots.
Posted by: Bush4Ever | October 31, 2006 at 03:14 AM
I cannot place enough exclamation points at the end of this sentence to adequately express my outrage!!!!!!!
-Liberal Larry
OK, let’s get extreme!!!!!!!!
((((((((((( {:^(o})))))))))))))))
Posted by: Talking Toaster | October 31, 2006 at 03:52 AM
Ha!
That showed those Water dunking Wingnuts!!!!
Posted by: Talking Toaster | October 31, 2006 at 03:54 AM
Yet another example of how out of touch the GOP is with the sensityvities ordinary citizyns.
Doesn't he know that these freedom fighters come from dry, desert regions where water is a luxery? (Not to generalize so-called terrorists or anything. I mean, they could come from anywhere, look like anybody whatsoever, and practice any religion at all..)
In their culture, being dunked under water like a common Qur'an is akin to hostility. And when Bush completes the swirlie process, gives the freedom fighters a wedgie, and inflicts a purple nirple just for good measure, they will see it as a possible threat and resist.
Posted by: Che | October 31, 2006 at 06:54 AM
Damn it. "Luxury".
Posted by: Che | October 31, 2006 at 06:55 AM
On second thought, I wonder if Bush dunks their heads in the toilet to make it easier for them to read the Qur'an?
Posted by: Che | October 31, 2006 at 06:59 AM
Happy Halloween everyone!! This is one of the few holidays we can celebrate. Christmas is evil, Hannakah is for the Jooooos, and Thanksgiving is only an evil celebration of our forefathers raping the poor innocent Injuns!
I guess we'll have to wait until next Ramadan and/or Kwanzaa...
Posted by: Arbiter | October 31, 2006 at 07:09 AM
Calm down lar.
We progressives win either way.
if another "terrorist" strike happens we can say the following: " Bu$h didn't do ANYTHING to defend helpless americans from this attack. In fact he was behind the whole attack",for this he should be chimpeached!"
And if another attack does not happen we can say:
"Bu$h has turned gitmo into his own twisted version of the movie "hostel" were doe-eyed, young arab males are held without trial for the crime of "living while arab". For this we must chimpeach!
Sure, I'm all for making an omelet of race, class, gender utopia. If a few capitalist eggs like the WTC get broken in the process, that's fine with me!
Posted by: Dave | October 31, 2006 at 07:12 AM
Love the Website! It is great that we concerned citizens can still talk about all the harm that Bush is causing in the world. I remember that before he became President (selected, that is), I could really hit the golf ball far. I mean, I could sometimes hit it like 100 or 110 yards, easy! But now, I can't sink a putt, and I can't concentrate. I am so worried about all those poor people who hate us. I mean, what can they do but hate somebody who tries to give them food, water, shelter, electricity, sewage treatment, clothing, new books, pencils, writing paper, fuel for heating, paperclips, pens, pencil sharpeners, crayons, etc. I mean, who do we think we are, anyway?
But seriously, I think the whole 'dunking in water' comment is really talking about torture. I think we are actually converting them to Southern Baptists. As a previous poster said: 'connect the dots'. GWB is a Southerner, Cheney might as well be one. And, they both claim to be Christians. Think about it. As Rosie O'Donnell says, Christians are just as dangerous as Muslims. We are creating MONSTERS at Gtmo!
Posted by: Abu Daboo Doo al Bedrocki | October 31, 2006 at 08:07 AM
Yeah, I hate it when people spit on me. Quit doing it. Pee on yourselves to support this noble cause.
Posted by: PTPFP | October 31, 2006 at 08:16 AM
People, don't you get it? They are being deloused. Then they will be sent to the Gitmo Gulag, where they are force fed halal meals.
Posted by: UN Doctor | October 31, 2006 at 08:25 AM
"Happy Halloween everyone!! This is one of the few holidays we can celebrate."--Arbiter
Oh really! Well, let's just see what Emmanuel Lewis has to say about the progressyveness of your comment, Arbs.
HALLOWEEN: "The evening of October 31 which is followed by All Saints Day, or Allhallows. Originally referred to as Hallowed Eve and now called Halloween."
STOP FORCING YOUR RELIGION ON DODGER!!!
Posted by: The Exorcist | October 31, 2006 at 09:14 AM
Oh geez, I'm really sorry Exorcist. Today's my birthday, and I'm pretty excited. I thought it was okay to wish everyone a Happy Halloween since I saw Wolf Blitzer celebrating my Halloween Birthday in Black Face...
Posted by: Arbiter | October 31, 2006 at 09:23 AM
As bad as Big Dick ChainMe's comments about tossing water-balloons at freedom fighters was, it was nothing compared to what Big Dick's Little Lady did to Wolf In Demoncrat's Clothing the other day.
She unleashed a bytch-slap on little Wolfey Blitzkrieg that almost suggested that the Calamity News Network would rather show footage, obtained by Middle-Eastern Democrats, showing American G.I.'s being blown to bits than all the children playing hopscotch under a rainbow.
It's almost as if she was suggesting that there was a war going on and CNN was hurting the U.S. cause by showing these Date Movies For Muslims.
What a world-class bytch! She comes on Wolfey's program to talk about her Childryns Books and instead answers direct questions about what the future of American childryn WON'T be doing if CNN has there way.
The whole thing is so upsetting it just makes me want to re-package ExLax in a Hershey's wrapper and hand it out to little Republican children celebrating All Saint's Eve tonight.
Posted by: The Exorcist | October 31, 2006 at 09:28 AM
Wait just a cotton-pickin second, Arbinator! I'm typing a mindless ramble about Howlin Wolfey Blitzkrieg at the exact same time you're posting a comment and charming photo of Wolfey. Coincidence or Conspiracy?
STOP SPYING ON ME, FORCING YOUR RELIGION ON ME, CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY WITHOUT A PERMIT AND......I'll think of some other stuff after I tear the roof off my rented room here at the Vatican looking for the camera you installed.
Posted by: The Exorcist | October 31, 2006 at 09:33 AM
The next time one of the low I.Q. jughead, redneck, baby-raping, baby-killing, torturing murderers in uniform (BUT I SUPPORT THE TROOPS), waterboards a Freedom Fighter, that Freedom Fighter should NOT hold his breath. He should breath in all the water he can and drown and go get his 72 vyrgyns of indiscrimante gender. THAT would teach The Bu$Hitler KKKrime Family Regime a lesson!!!
Posted by: Bush4Ever | October 31, 2006 at 09:36 AM
Just to keep you current on us knuckle-draggers down here in Dixie, we prefer the new term 'mother-rapers'. Sad, but true. I guess his sister wasn't around.
If only Bush had provided free Government sex workers, this wouldn't have happened. Damned conservatives!
Posted by: Son of the South © | October 31, 2006 at 10:24 AM