Mark Foley's lawyer suggested yesterday that a Roman Catholic priest who molested him as a child may be responsible for his homosexual proclivities.
I guess if anything good can possibly come from sexual abuse, that's it.
Frankly, I'm a little surprised, though. I had always understood that people were born gay. It's impossible to turn someone who isn't a homosexual into one, so any claims that gay rights groups or progressive schoolteachers are attempting indoctrinate children into a gay lifestyle should be looked upon as the insane ravings of homophobic parents. Now I am learning that Roman Catholic priests are going around, magically transforming heterosexual young boys into flaming homos.
All I can say is, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, PRIESTIES!
With so many members of the Gay Community killed off by AIDS and Republicans every year, perhaps this is God's way of replenishing the species so we can continue to enjoy a wide variety of fabulously decorated park restrooms.
Then how do you explain DicKKK Cheney's Gay Lesbian daughter, Mary, who likes other Lesbians?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | October 04, 2006 at 10:08 AM
Without gays, there would be no hair dressers! The Rethugicans may be okay with having to do their own highlites, but I'll be damned if I ever will!!!
Posted by: Arbiter | October 04, 2006 at 10:11 AM
I see a real pattern here. Nearly 87% of the pederastic acts in the Catholic Church were performed on male altar boys by homosexual priests. I'm starting to rethink my opinion that homosexuality is genetic based given the success of the Catholic Church in creating homosexuals. It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.
Posted by: libmeister | October 04, 2006 at 10:13 AM
Hah! It's all Mel Gibson's fault. If he wasn't a Catholic who hated Joooooos, Fondly wouldn't have become gay.
And in light of this, I think that DicKKK Chainy's lesbian daughter who practices Lesbianism(way more Progressyve than Catholicism) should surrender to her Lesbian tendencies.
Hey! Wait a minute! DicKKK Chainy's daughter is GAY???!!! Since when? Why didn't anyone bring this out in the last election? I mean, being gay and all, she should really want to be outted in public, so she can be queer and proud of it for all to see. Also, it would have blown GW's chances to steal another election. Bummer!
Posted by: Kiki B. | October 04, 2006 at 11:58 AM
I think it's the big pope hat. I get a hard on every time I see it.
Posted by: Dave | October 04, 2006 at 12:29 PM
I think it was alcohol first, then clergy, in that order, that turned the congressman "that way".
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | October 04, 2006 at 02:22 PM
Many Nuns are lesbians from what I've seen, particularly that order of nuns that goes to frat parties to take their clothes off for money. Mind you they're probably not full time time nuns because sometimes when I see them they have their nurses and police woman uniforms on instead.
Posted by: Menstrual Rainbow | October 04, 2006 at 02:28 PM
I just had a thought, what are we going to do if Mark Foley really comes out of the closet and claims he's actually a Democrat?
Posted by: libmeister | October 04, 2006 at 02:55 PM
Well, if he comes out of the closet and makes that confession (think NJ governor's tear filled plea for understanding), then he will keep all his perks. As a progressyve, we can't ask for more than that...one who has 'seen the light' even if he was on his knees and up to his ears in it, and has come home.
We will love and support him. I bet he gets Barney Frank's number out of it...
Posted by: UN Doctor | October 04, 2006 at 03:10 PM
There's always room for Fooly in our neck of the woods,after all we understand what motivates the libedo,dont we?
Posted by: jainphx | October 04, 2006 at 06:10 PM
I already have a pet/lyfe partner baboon named Mohammad (piece of luv on his red rashy cute ass) now I guess I'll have to get a Foley hamster as well...
Posted by: Arbiter | October 05, 2006 at 12:40 PM
Fascist!!!!!
Posted by: sisi | October 29, 2006 at 06:18 PM