John Kerry Supports Our Stupid Troops

For weeks, Democrats have feared that he’d make another untimely yet utterly predictible appearance, emerging from his cave to energize Republican voters and remind Americans who the enemy is. Yesterday, our worst nightmares came true in a fashion reminiscent of Jingus Khan.

“You know education,” Sen. John Kerry warned students at Pasadena City College, “if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

In the blink of his stately eye, Kerry’s words were picked up by the digital pajama brigade and repeated ad nauseum by their stooges in the right-wing media, angering military families and veterans groups who are apparently too stupid to comprehend the subtle nuances of his brilliant oratory.

Thrice wounded on the battlefields of Vietnam, Sen. John Kerry would never dream of insulting the intelligence of our babykilling, genital-shocking, cattle razing, women-and-children-terrorizing troops. If they had any brains, they’d know that. Rather, he was simply mocking and ridiculing their Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. As someone who never obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree or played for the Yale Lacrosse team, Bush is completely incapable of leading troops into battle. The miserable quagmire that the illegal and immoral war has become is proof of that.

Conservative chickenhawks can call Kerry "unpatriotic" and whine about damage to morale until their faces turn bluer than a dead Gitmo detainee, but if our troops can take that sort of good-natured ribbing from Osama Bin Laden, they can certainly take it from John Kerry.

I just hope they're smart enough to remember that come voting time.

Comments

[Dodger]

First!

[Dodger]

Well now. I really don't see any way out of this. Except maybe surrendering in Iraq.

[Che]

It's tough doing standup in front of those Rethuglican crowds. They expect jokes about sex, bodily fluids, or Bill Clinton. When Jean Francois's sonofabitch drummer didn't hit the rimshot during the punchline, the reich-wingers just didn't know when to laugh.

If Rush the Pill-Popper hadn't been so busy making fun of Michael J. Fox and bloviating about the Steelers' black quarterback (Or was it "lack of a quarterback?"), he would've heard JFK's followup remark

"Hello? Is this thing on? Tough crowd... Anyway, my wife is so controlling that she made me sign a pre-nup before I didn't sign one."

[Brandt]

That's want I love about both Kerry and Bush. You can always count on them to say what's on their mind, when it's on their mind.

[POLITICS OF PEACE]

LARRY IS A REPUBLICAN - HE CALLS REPUBLICAN VOTERS "AMERICANS" WHEN *EVERYONE* *KNOWS* THAT VOTING REPUBLICAN MEANS THAT THE VOTER IS NOT SUPPORTING THE AMERICAN *DEMOCRATIC* CONSTITUTION AND IS THEREFORE *NOT* AMERICAN, AND VOTING ILLEGALLY. THIS IS BASIC CONSTIUTIONAL LAW.

[Speaks Truth to Chimps]

As I said on my blog, Senator Ketchup just said out loud what everybody already knows; our troops are homicidal baby-eating retards.

And who would know better than he, after all, he served in Vietnam (that was a SHOCK to me!), committing atrocities and earning medals for it.

[Kiki Bee]

Yeah, my baby-killing USAF/USArmy brother is a real idiot, that's why he's been to Iraq 3 times, and is looking forward(not) to a fourth after the first of the year. If only he hadn't gone to the United States Air Force Academy, and graduated with a very respectable GPA, and then went on to become a military officer. You see, if he had gone to a "regular" college, partied all the way through, then didn't bother with the military, he could have become a College Professor(no offense, Lar) with a degree in Liberal Elitism. Then he could really stick it to the idiots in the military. Now, the only way he could show them even more how much they suck would be to become a kept man and US Senator from Massachusetts.

[Bubblehead]

I know I was stupid when I was a troop, but now that I'm a progryssyve cyvylyan I'm totally smart and stuff.

[Speaks Truth to Chimps]

Will someone please email John Kerry a tinfoil hat ASAP! It's got to be the Roveian Mind KKKontrol Rays that did it!

[REN]

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq." ~Sen J. Kerry

What about guys like me who went on to get a higher education AND joined the military, even AFTER 9/11? Oh my, I get it, I'm not 'smart'! Whoops, my bad, I musta not made an effort to BE 'smart'.

P.S. POP, This is a Democratic REPUBLIC, silly.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

Patton knew enough that, even though everyone is a bastard, you should really only call the losing side dumb.

Oh crap, does Senator Kerry know which side is going to win? Should I also bet against America? Is that where the smart money is?

[Talking Toaster]

Hi.

This is John “F” Kerry reporting for duty.

I supported the Troops before I kicked them in the crotch.

I have nothing personal against our Troops except they are stupid, baby killing, knuckle dragging, jar-heads, who couldn't hack it at Yale.

Worse, they are too stupid to drop out of the Service and go to Evergreen College.

And, if I had the chance I would personally throw their stinking medals over the fence. But, I must now tell them they are too stupid to know when to cut and run – as I did.

Hopefully, they will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel and know it's a liberal locomotive heading towards them. When in doubt Bug-Out.

If they had any brains they would drop their weapons and retreat double time.

Get out of the Military and go to college.

John F. Kerry, out.

[Che]

Of course John F. Kerry (PBUH) is toeing a dangerous line here. Everyone knows that the military is predominantly made up of poor, inner city minorities like Bubblehead who were incapable of getting a job in Bush's wrecked economy. Does Kerry-Heinz want to insult these poor ignorant dolts just because they weren't smart enough to get an ROTC deferrment or move to Canada when they got their draft cards?

[Bush4Ever]

1 + 1 = 2
2 + 2 = 4
4 + 4 = 8
8 + 8 = uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Che]

8 + 8 = uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I know that one. It's 19, right Arbiter?

[PTPFP]

REN,
This country was originally set up as a CONSTITUTIONAL Republic. Even then, the Founders were marginalizing slave beating war mongering Rethugs who speared British children on bayonets and tossed them over the walls of Philadelphia. The atrocities they committed in Boston are seared, SEARED into Senator Kerry's brain. In a manner reminiscent of the Phrench And Indian War, the colonists harried and harrassed the British Peace Keeping Brigades on the roads between Lexington and Concord. The Founders
intended to exclude Democrats; it is in the Constitution along with the right to an abortion, entitlements for everyone and Privacy.

[Terrence]

All Kerry did was say what is on the hearts and minds of the silent Liberal minority. He should be congratulated for being so bold, but instead he's being castigated for being an elitist military-hating scumbag who is determined to route for the other side, even if they are terrorists.

It takes smarts to think and talk like John Kerry and only the smart voters of Massachusetts are smart enough to realize that.

[Arbiter]

Che, right again. Once again your logic has defeated me.

My stupid Marine Corp Jar Head Baby Killer brother owns his own home (I live in Section 8 housing) has a great job (I have to rely on the evil Bush's lousy welfare) attends church every Sunday (I spend my Sundays protesting wounded vets) and gives to charity (he's too dumb to realize that I'm a worthy charity- cigarettes aren't cheap ya know!)

But now I finally have PROOF (Thanks to John F'n Kerry) that I'm WAY smarter than my stoopid bro! Thank you John Kerry, you are a true hero in every sense of the word.

[Dave]

John Kerry, Who was the inspiration for the character "Capt. Willard" in the movie "apocalypse now", has to be a rove plant.

The super-duper intelligent man that won the vote in 2004 is rotting away in a gitmo cell as we speak. He knows that soon Max "the fighting doorstop" Celand will soon led a mission to rescue him as soon as the environmental impact studies are finished.

This is how low Bu$h has taken ameriKKKa down. A well bred, rich, well read, elitist democrat can't even tell the truth about our slack-jawed, inbred, extra chromosome,psychotic,low IQ, low sloping forhead,weak minded, strong backed,banjo playing, hee-haw watching, amereKKKa loving, Bu$h voting troops, without the rightwing hatemachine jumping into action.

were will it end???

[Terrence]

...and PTPFP, you forgot the most important right found in the Constitution: the right not to be offended.

I'm actually a little put off that you overlooked that one.

[NWJR]

It's not a "war". It's a "conflict". Congress never declared war, and only they can.

So Kerry is insulting the Idiot-in-Chief in a time of "conflict".

Big difference.

[Corporations = Terrorism]

When Kerry used the phrase "get sent" to Iraq, he was clearly referring to Bu$Hitler, not the troops. He made that crystal clear, but inbred Rethug neanderthals are too stooopid to understand simple basic English.

[The Exorcist]

You'd have thunk that Frankenstein would've just laid low in the days before the election. Maybe go trick-or-treating near the mansion he lives in that his wife's former husband paid for. He could've scared the shi'ite out of the neighborhood rich kids with his 9 purple hearts, then shoot them in the back and steal their bags of candy.

He could've returned back to the basement of that mansion and shared his spoils with the servants that Terazor brought over here from South Africa on her slave ship.

But instead, he told a harmless little joke. Although "botched", it was quite clearly directed at the white house. After all, if you believe him - and who wouldn't believe a war hero like him except all those liars who served right next to him and called him a cowardice traitor - he was telling the kids that if you don't work hard in school the most you can ever expect to be is President of the United States.

And if the right-wing media wouldn't have cut him off he would've gotten around to finishing the joke by saying "And plan B is to marry a real ugly scagg with big bags of her deceased husband's money"

Ya see, quite hilarious if you'd just give the man a chance to finish his act.

[PTPFP]

Terrence,
You and Kerry are elitist, military hating scumbags. He isn't a smart man. He is an idiot. He gave false testimony at the Winter Soldier hearings, admitting to witnessing atrocities, for which he was never prosecuted. Now, that begs the question: If he heard of these things being done, why did he not step up to the plate? Lt. Calley's wholesale slaughter of My Lai was prevented by one courageous helicopter pilot who put his bird between Calley's victims and Calley. Why didn't Kerry The Courageous step up to the plate and prevent any more from happening or report on those personnel who did?

Another question: If these alleged atrocities occured, then he must have cut a deal. Why then, no names?

He admits to committing crimes for which he was never punished. As a liberal, those who commit crimes against the innocent must be punished. Does that take into account past crimes and misdemeanors? Or is all forgiven because he is aligned with you politically?

One last thing: Kerry can't have been too smart since he did time in uniform himself AFTER he finished college. Oh, there was a draft? Let me set the record straight then: He did four months of a one year tour...a month less than Albert Gore. Kerry is protected from any accountability for his past misconduct and there should be NO EXCUSE for it now, especially if you agree that those who do wrongly should be held accountable. Otherwise, you are showing your elitist double standard.

[PTPFP]

Terence, I apologize. You are truly a progressyve. I took off my tin hat for just a second.