Aliens Turned Foley Gay

Mark Foley's lawyer announced just moments ago that his client's homosexuality is the result of an alien abduction during his college days.

Well, I guess if anything good can possibly come from an anal probe, that's it.

The only question is: How long did Dennis Hastert know about it and why did he keep it a secret? Was he so desperate to maintain control of congress that he would turn a blind eye to extraterrestrials preying on our helpless frat boys? If so, how many Republican congressmen will be willing to resign in order to make things right? Is Bush, with his so-called "family values" ready to put the safety of our children before partisan politics and finally repeal his tax cuts for the wealthiest one percent of Americans? Or will he squander the golden showers of international support and mislead Americans into another pointless war for oil?

Aliens Turned

Comments

[libmeister]

Bet it was an illegal alien, too.

[Bush4Ever]

Axel Foley is gay?

[LoudandProudLib]

Hey, listen all you squirming rightists, while you are wringing your hands in worry, I can just sit back calmly and know that if the aliens are gay, or like little boys, or have a penchant for anal probing unsuspecting participants, they will have a proud and prominent place in the Democrat party.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

"[Aliens] will have a proud and prominent place in the Democrat party."

Aliens rival dead Indians for the title of the most consistantly Democrat voting minorites.

[camojack]

Hey, libmeister...er, I mean Bush stole my idea for a comment!!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Foley is such a closet case, voting year after year against the interests of the Alien Agenda.

[Moonchild]

Darwin turned Foley gay, Lar. The aliens may have awakened him to sensual delights his Repug overlords kept hidden, but the long string of reproductive successes enjoyed by homosexual copulations is what has continued the propagation of the gay gene.

[KnitWit]

I thought aliens were gray . . . not gay . Perhaps Bush stole the 'r'.

[Dave]

When I got up this morning, I triped over a huge stack of nation magazines. I now ask that speaker Hastert and the rest of his dark army resign ASAP.

[Wilderness Fox]

What do undocumented workers have to do with Foley? Is this why Bush is building the illegal wall along the Mexico/US border, to keep the undocumented workers from doing Gaia's work, as they have done with Foley???

[Neocon-pincher]

I had an anal probe once.

Don't ever pass out at a Gloria Gainer concert. Just ... just don't do it.

[libmeister]

camojack,

When I'm not wearing my tinfoil hat I can channel Shrubya. That's how I get my up-to-the-minute conspiracy updates.

[Arbiter]

"Let's knock off this Tom Folery" has a new meaning to it....

[libmeister]

Comrades, we must unite in our resistance to the fascist Bu$Hitler regime. Check out this call to resistance and ensure that our Moronic Convergence .... er, Harmonic Convergence is made complete! Non-workers of the world, UNITE!

[Arbiter]

Um... Libmmeister, I'm Catholic. Therefore I can't skip Mass...

[Wonko]

>Comrades, we must unite in our resistance to the fascist Bu$Hitler regime. Check out this call to resistance.

I'm trying to organize a protest outside the Air Force Base here at Dayton Ohio. I urge all like-minded citizens to join me in a sit-down strike on the railroad track that goes right past the main entrance. Let others gum up roads. I'm betting on some REAL attention when we stop the trains!

[Bush4Ever]

Has Bonnie Fwank offered to help with the probe of the page program yet?

[BCMG]

Don't ever pass out at a Gloria Gainer concert. Just ... just don't do it.
LOL
Okay - I shouldn't have read that with my mouth filled with iced tea. Now my keyboard is all wet.

[libmeister]

Hmmmm, I see where that reich-wing spinmeister Drudge is claiming this was a page prank. Drats! We have to find a way to blame Denny Hastert for the kkkonservative hetero-normative pages having their way with the victimized gay hero, Mark Foley.

Damn that Rovian Mind Control Machine! This could hurt our chances in November, not that we progressyves would ever spring an October surprise for something as mundane as our future political success in gaining back our rightful power and IMPEACHING THAT DAMN SMIRKING CHIMPEROR!

Peace, out.........

[Jeremy]

Actually there is evidence that the priest was probed by aliens.

http://www.thenoseonyourface.com/the_nose_on_your_face/2006/10/priest_who_mole.html

[Bush4Ever]

If this is all a prank then where does Axel Foley go to get his reputation as a man who likes to hang out with teeneage boys just for fun back? And, more importantly, will he be in the next Beverly Hills Cop movie?

[LoudandProudLib]

Okay you right wing infidels. You can have your fun here. But let me tell you this: the Democrats are going to sodomize you. They will sodomize you financially, they will sodomize you politically, they will sodomize you physically, they will sodomize you metaphorically. The Democrats can do sodomy far better than any Republican can ever hope. Now you know, so just bend over and learn to take it.

[Bush4Ever]

"The Democrats can do sodomy far better than any Republican can ever hope. Now you know, so just bend over and learn to take it."

My LyfePartner says the s/he is VERY excited by this news.

[jainphx]

Sounds exciting.

[Speaks Truth to Chimps]

I hate to admit it, but for once the ReiKKK-wingers are, err, right, and I’m ashamed of you all. All too often we progressives blame everyone but the perpetrator of the crime. “Priests turned Mark Feeley gay…” “Booze turned Mark Feeley gay…” “Illegal aliens, err, I mean, undocumented workers turned Mark Feeley gay…”

Well, in this particular case, and perhaps no other, we have to assign blame where it really belongs. It’s quite obvious that in this specific case, Bush turned Mark Feeley gay.

He obviously gave Mark Feeley one of his “impromptu backrubs” (if you know what I mean). And since we know that people are gay from birth, that means BUSH IS A CHILD MOLESTOR! Start the chimpeachment now.