Judging by his extremist positions against abortion and gay marriage, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the Pope is a hatemonger as well. Quoting from an ancient text, the leader of the most barbaric religion in the history of the world accused Islam of being "evil", and "inhuman". Once again, Catholics have demonstrated that they just can't get out of the Dark Ages.
Muslims are a deeply sensitive people and their feelings are easily hurt, but Islamist leaders across the world took to the airwaves and beseeched their followers to refrain from acts of violence and instead walk the path of peace. Although the pontiff’s words were reminiscent of Hitler back before he redeemed himself by killing 6 million Jews in an imaginary Holocaust, they were only words and no excuse for harming innocents. Once an appropriate amount of churches had been burned and enough nuns brutally gunned down, Muslims and infidels could co-exist in peace and harmony.
The Pope, on the other hand, seems determined to start a Holy War. His half-assed apology was too little, too late, and didn’t include anywhere near the amount of groveling Muslims have grown to expect from Europeans. Nor did he mention that he was willing to accept punishment for his cruel attack on the peacelove Muslim peoples. Under Sharia law, anyone who even indirectly implies that Islam is anything less than "peachy keen" can only be forgiven once they’ve been decapitated, disemboweled, and then trampled to death by a herd of unwashed goats. The Pope is probably too much of a bigot to accept such an olive branch, but there is an alternative. He could convert to Islam.
I know he’s got it pretty good with this Holy See gig. He's got a big house, a fancy car, and more money than he knows what to do with. But the Pope should try thinking about someone besides himself for a change.
Well, he needs to kiss the Koran before he converts at the threat of an effigy. I think he is made of sterner stuff than his forbear. However, there are those Danish stormtroopers that are being unleashed on the Taliban. Vikings in berets.
Posted by: UN Doctor | September 17, 2006 at 09:46 PM
If he offered to fly planes into buildings where Little Eichmanns worked...THAT would help.
Posted by: Bush4Ever | September 17, 2006 at 09:48 PM
Well, the irony is that Eichman I, before he was cloned 2,996 times had the support of the muktar of Jerusalem during Hitler's War against the Joooooooooooooooooos. Many was the time the British Army tried to recruit A-hab the Ay-rab against Rommel. But they saw Hitler as doing Allah's work. Ironic, that Ward Churchill used that comparison. I am wondering if Ward C. were really the historian he claimed to be that he would know he was on the side of Hitler.
Posted by: Un Doctor | September 17, 2006 at 09:53 PM
What this story shows is that in all likelihood, the Holy Pontiff has been secretly working for FauxNews all along... just like those other voluntary converts to the Enlightened Path of Peace, Steve Centanni and Olaf Wiig. All of a sudden, Islam seems to be wildly popular with the cool kids who want to keep their heads. These sudden conversions seem to be all the rage.
The real question is whether after he converts, will he have to kiss Bill Keller's ring?
Posted by: Princess Leia in a Cheese Danish Bikini | September 17, 2006 at 11:39 PM
The Pope's apology would have meant so much more if hadn't worn a t-shirt that had "FUQ THE QURAN" on it.
Posted by: Bush4Ever | September 18, 2006 at 03:51 AM
Islam is a famously tolerent religion, for example when my neighbour worked in Saudi Arabia his six year old daughter was sentenced to 100 lashes for exposing her ankles in public, however after they explained that it had been due to a sudden gust of wind, and it was an artificial leg in any case, the sharia court commuted the sentence to 75 lashes. Plus of the the judges agreed to marry her.
Posted by: Menstrual Rainbow | September 18, 2006 at 05:19 AM
Our Muslim friends absorb another blow from the bigoted West. Our friends are working to mitigate the Great Satan's wanton, unprovoked genocides in Iraq and Afghanistan. This is followed by a Zionist blitzkrieg into Lebanon. Now, Chimp's lackey in the Vatican begins a new Crusader War on the intellectual front with the Peace of Mohammed in his pointy-hatted crosshairs.
As peaceful as our Muslim overlords are, there is a limit to how much they will take. There are only so many cheeks they will turn before there might before they fight back and hurt everyone's feelings.
Posted by: Moonchild | September 18, 2006 at 05:34 AM
As someone who was brainwashed by his parents and priests into blindly following Rome, I am fearful that, if the Pope does decide to hit the Crusade Siren, I will be forced into taking the wrong side in this whole thing.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | September 18, 2006 at 05:40 AM
How dare the Pope disrespect Islam by not converting. And it would be even more of an egregious affront if the Pope doesn't convert even at gunpoint. After all, Islam IS the religion of peace ... and Muslims will damn well kill anyone who dare say otherwise. Clearly people with that much faith and conviction in their cause must be right ... except for Nazis.
Posted by: libmeister | September 18, 2006 at 06:12 AM
Islam is violent??? WTF? For this insult, I will slaughter 1,000 Infidels and bathe in their blood!! Then I will blow myslef up!!!! ALLAH HAKBAR!
Posted by: Imam Abu Akhbar Al Haji | September 18, 2006 at 06:48 AM
As a progessive, I feel that if we just give our islamic overlords what they want they will leave us alone. So let's give them the pope's head on a silver platter. ( picture the pope's sawed off head with the big pope hat on it.)
Posted by: Dave | September 18, 2006 at 07:12 AM
Well, the Nazis weren't Allah's chosen people. They sort of left Him out of the equation.
Posted by: UN Doctor | September 18, 2006 at 07:19 AM
The Religion of Peace must act swiftly to maim, torture and behead this "man of God." I don't think converting to islam is good enough for the Pope. I mean, the guy can't even grow a beard! Not like my dream boat: Adam GodDamn...
*Sigh*
Posted by: Arbiter | September 18, 2006 at 08:56 AM
Iran should nuke the Vatican!
DEATH TO THE INFIDEL POPE!
whoa...
that gave me such a head rush
Posted by: Neocon-pincher | September 18, 2006 at 09:28 AM
"whoa...
that gave me such a head rush" -NP
Enjoy your "head" rush while you still have it, 'cause the Religion of Peace will lop it off if you don't convert.
Ahahahahaha!! Just kidding, they're sooo peaceful! I crack myself up sometimes...!!!
Posted by: Arbiter | September 18, 2006 at 09:36 AM
The "catholic" church continues its back-slide into the primordial ooze.
First, they kick out all of their progressive clergy who belonged to NAMBLA. Now Pope Mengele is creating the pretext for the new kristalnacht.
What's wrong, Benny? 6 million Joooos and fags not enough to quench your bloodlust?
I predict the recommissioning of Dachau and Auschwitz within 6 months.
Posted by: brainsample | September 18, 2006 at 10:09 AM
I thought sophisticated Europeans had dropped the unpleasant reactionary parts of Christianity, like believing in a fixed non-relativist morality, or having a doctrine that demands clergy actually defend their own faith. Why can't the RC church be more like the C of E, which has wisely abandoned every article of faith that upsets progressives everywhere. The latter apologised to Muslims for 7/7 and for overthrowing Saddam Hussein. They have shown leadership in campaigns to impose sanctions upon Israel for the crime of objecting to suicide bombers. This kind of progressivism is having a huge impact upon church attendances.
By the way - Is the Pope Catholic?
Posted by: Baldwin is Bald | September 18, 2006 at 12:00 PM
You know, this is all tied to the mid term ellections. BusHitler is trying to ralley the KKKatholic vote with Pope=Hitler's insane hate speach. What we as progressives should do to atone first is to hold a fair and honest dialouge with the Religion of Peace where we beg them not to kill us, assure them we will throw out the Rethuglican majoirity, and impeach Bushie. Then, having paid our head tax to Islam in a fair and equitable manner in the interest of tollerance, we should abort some babies for Allah and marry gay men. Oh wait...that might offend the moslems...?
Posted by: free0352 | September 18, 2006 at 02:47 PM
And we sure don't want to enrage Muslims.
Posted by: Dodger | September 18, 2006 at 03:03 PM
Skull & Bones are the Pope's puppeteers, and it should be obvious to all of you.
Posted by: texmom | September 18, 2006 at 03:46 PM
Now is the time for Vatican City to surrender in Iraq!!!
Posted by: Bush4Ever | September 18, 2006 at 03:47 PM
I don't see what the big deal is. So the leader of the Catholic Church converts to islam to atone for pissing off a few fanatics representing millions of blood thirsty monsters? Is that really worth it for the Pope to keep fighting these radicals?
I can't wait till Adam Goddamn forces me to submit. I'm planning on submitting all over his chubby bearded face, if you know what I mean... :-)
Posted by: Arbiter | September 18, 2006 at 04:10 PM
Amen, B4E.
Oops. Make that "Hamdulelah, B4E".
Posted by: Che | September 18, 2006 at 04:11 PM
Ha! Ha! Ha! The joke is on the Reich-Wing Haters!! All Moooslims have been told to leave the USA!!! Who will they try to get us to hate next once all these practitioners of The Religion of Peace have left?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | September 18, 2006 at 05:26 PM
Somehow, Bush is to blame. I am not sure how, though, but I know the Dixie Chicks will tell me.
Posted by: Room 237 | September 18, 2006 at 05:50 PM