The Worlds Greatest Terrorists have been busy the past few days. Two Muslims were nabbed in Ohio last Tuesday for the terrible crime of possessing too many cell phones. Six Egyptian Muslims were arrested and five more are being hunted down after failing to show up at the University of Montana. Excuse me, but if not going to college makes you a criminal, then the entire GOP should be behind bars.
Then just yesterday, the entire Islamabad Philharmonic Orchestra was rounded up in Great Britain for attempting to board a plane with a bottle of Snapple. So Rummy gets a parcel of new innocents to torture, in addition to the millions of innocent Muslims Bush and Blair have already murdered in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Meanwhile, as the Shrub and his lapdog are patting themselves on their backs, thousands of non-Muslims are waltzing through airport security unmolested.
Oh my Goddess! It’s a TERRORIST! Get her Bush! GET HER!!!!
What’s the matter, Shrub? Her skin isn’t dark enough for you?
There’s another one, Dumbya!! BOMB THE CRAP OUT OF HIS WEDDING RECEPTION AND HAUL HIM OFF TO GITMO!
No? Doesn’t fit into your stereotypical age group, eh?
How about this guy:
Holy crap, he's BLACK! And he's twenty-two in dog years! And he's on his way to a mosque!
KILL HIM, SHRUB! KILL HIM BEFORE HE GETS AWAY!!!
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, and I will say it once more for the hearing impaired: RACIAL PROFILING DOES NOT WORK. Anyone with half a brain and a progressive blog knows that racial profiling restricts the field of suspects down to far too narrow a sample of the population and encourages laziness among investigators.
Besides, in a free, colorblind society, a radical Muslim male attempting to board a commercial aircraft is just a tourist until he starts slashing throats, and then he must be considered innocent until proven guilty. But as it’s been made abundantly clear by yesterday's events, that “free society” we once lived in no longer exists.
See? Kiddy stuff.
Sheesh ...
Posted by: amedinajad | August 11, 2006 at 01:47 PM
SHUT DOWN THE WEBSIGHT! HE'S ON TO US!!!
amedinajad,
get a dictionary, have someone read to you the meaning of satire.....
Posted by: Dave | August 11, 2006 at 02:03 PM
oh godddddddddddd, i'm so scared of deodorant, lotion, and ipods! to think they could explode in midair! ohhhhhh, it's terrifying!
wake up, sheeple! you guys actually believe this nonsense? you've already forgotten all the other phony terror alerts over the past 5 years?
this is a bunch of bullshit from the same criminals who brought you WMD's in Iraq. don't believe their lies!
Posted by: Ryan | August 11, 2006 at 02:22 PM
His real name is Irish. He used to hang around here for days at a time telling us he had better things to do than hang out.
I think he had a thing for JannyMay and RML. But hey, who doesn't?
Posted by: Che | August 11, 2006 at 02:24 PM
Amedinajad is obviously a Mooselum! We must submit to his culture at once! Even though I'm male, I shall wear a bhurka and become one of your bitches Amedinajad!
Posted by: Arbiter | August 11, 2006 at 02:40 PM
"oh godddddddddddd, i'm so scared of deodorant, lotion, and ipods! to think they could explode in midair! ohhhhhh, it's terrifying!"
LOL!!
Handy-dandy when it takes Iraq off the news, though, isn't it ... And even the atrocities in Lebanon. Typical.
--------------
It's satire, Dave??!?? Ohhh!!
I'd never have guessed ...
Posted by: amedinajad | August 11, 2006 at 02:41 PM
"I think he had a thing for JannyMay and RML. But hey, who doesn't?"--Che
Who doesn't? Uhmm, okay, don't give me any hints here...uhmm, let's see...OH, I think I got it!
Gayer than all hell democrats pretending to be ragdolls who beat their wives, sodomize their camels, masturbate to photos of Donald Rumsfeld and eat snails off their urine-soaked Korans.
Am I getting warm?
Posted by: The Exorcist | August 11, 2006 at 02:52 PM
Exorcyst:
Close, but you forgot "self-loathing Euro-sycophants"
Posted by: Che | August 11, 2006 at 02:59 PM
Damn that Bush, "self-loathing EuroTrash-wannabe" was IN my original post.
Hey, you don't suppose I'mInAGuyNamedJed will track me down and kick my ayus, do you??
C'mon, I'mInAGuy, Bring-It-On!
I've got a great big Thirsty-Two Ouncer bottle of Gaytorade to ram into your gerbil training grounds and send all of you to Mooselum heaven. Come and get it.
Posted by: The Exorcist | August 11, 2006 at 03:14 PM
you've already forgotten all the other phony terror alerts over the past 5 years?
this is a bunch of bullshit from the same criminals who brought you WMD's in Iraq.
You're so right, Ryan. The fact that none of those "terror" alerts ever had an actual terrorist attack associated with them is proof positive that the alerts don't work and the alerters are corrupt. The fact that Clinton never went 5 years without a terror attack is irrelevant.
Call it an "inconvenient truth."
Posted by: Che | August 11, 2006 at 03:18 PM
Guess who he quotes. I'll give you 30 seconds.
Yes! You got it! FOX NEWS! FAIR AND BALANCED!! Truthful, honest, and decent!
Bravo Che! Yeah! Che!
Does Murdoch pay you personally or by cheque?
Posted by: amedinajad | August 11, 2006 at 03:26 PM
Amendinajad, I must join your jihad! Please give me your coordinates!
Posted by: Arbiter | August 11, 2006 at 03:27 PM
"It's the Wolf! It's the Wolf!"
Facts:
The tangible support of the U.S. and tacit support of the U.K. for Israel's thrust into Lebanon has caused a political backlash for Bush and Blair.
In Afghanistan a woefully under-equipped and politically mis-directed British military intervention is in tatters, the death toll is rising and British forces have been forced to reduce their risk in the face of rising casualties. Tory critics are angry.
In Iraq senior U.S. military figures are openly describing the situation as one of increasing insurgency on the path to full-scale civil war.
Political unease and outright opposition to the "war on terror" is rising. Even from people, like Guido, who supported the liberation of Iraq and Afghanistan.
Blair might be on the beach in the Carribbean but he is in a danger zone politically. The coming Labour party conference is the focus of malcontents and a source of instability. Thatcher and Gorbachev had coup attempts launched against them when they were out of the country. His internal opponents are now drowned out by the scare.
Bush needed a security scare. Rove spins "the Democrats are soft on terror."
Time for a terror boost...
The cast : an ongoing long-term investigation into terror suspects.
Extras : thousands of held up holidaymakers.
Gimmicks : this time it is liquid bombs, following on from the previous Ricin, Red Mercury and Anthrax Powder scares.
Show date : silly season when the media is desperate, prior to party conference and the symbolic 9/11 anniversary.
Playing : all news channels, front pages
Ask yourself, why now? Do you really believe that a huge terrorist conspiracy was underway?
http://5thnovember.blogspot.com/2006/08/its-wolf-its-wolf.html
Posted by: amedinajad | August 11, 2006 at 03:30 PM
Get Her Bush!
It’s too late.
Damm that Bush!
Posted by: Talking Toaster | August 11, 2006 at 03:32 PM
Wow, I'mInAGuyNamedJed, that was really, really deep. You're really on to something there. What's his name? How do you do it?
I bet Faux News doesn't have balls to put you on so you can speak truth to power. Oh, and one more thing, chap, what would it cost to FedEx some of that Lyseric from the U.K. to Southern Cal?
Posted by: The Exorcist | August 11, 2006 at 03:50 PM
Sorry, Irish. I shouldn't have posted partisan, whacked-out propaganda. It was honestly the first googled article I found. Here are some more.
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=38213
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A33082-2004May17.html
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/22/060622055545.07o4imol.html
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2004/6/25/114037.shtml
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/22/AR2006062201475.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4997808
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3722255.stm
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/01/10/sprj.irq.chemicals/index.html
http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewNation.asp?Page=/Nation/archive/200606/NAT20060621e.html
I didn't realize the US was in Lebanon. I thought it was those pesky Joooos.
Posted by: Che | August 11, 2006 at 04:34 PM
The sooner we can kill everybody who does not believe what we believe...the better.
Posted by: AmmaNeedaBloJob | August 11, 2006 at 05:48 PM
Hey, what the hell happened to Mahmoud "Tatoo" AmmaNeedaBlojob? He didn't accidentally detonate while mixing up his homemade Lyseric and diet lime Snapple, did he? Oh, wait. It's that time difference thingy with the U.K.
Well, after he awakes next to his gay mullah, drinks a spot of tea, tunes into the REALLY FAIR AND BALANCED BBC, I've got a set of multiple choice questions and answers for him. He's really bright, so I'm sure he'll score high on the test.
1. In 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Roger Staubach
c. Roger That!
d. Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40
2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by
a. Olga Corbett
b. Florence Joyner
c. George Foreman
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. Sonny Crockett
b. Ricardo Tubbs
c. Rick James
d . Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Paula Jones
b. Monica Lewinsky
c. Kathleen Willey
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers.
Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny
b. The Supreme Court
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
14. In 2004 - the Spain Railway was bombed by:
a. Condoleeza Rice
b. Jerry Rice
c. Uncle Ben's Rice
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
15. In 2005 the London Bus & Railway was bombed by:
a. Warren Oates
b. Hall and Oates
c. Quaker Oats
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
Posted by: The Exorcist | August 11, 2006 at 07:40 PM
Forget Lebanon, forget Iraq, the entire world has a new disorder to deficit their attention.
The meat of the evidence released so far against the hair gel bombers was a message that was intercepted by officials stating "Do your attacks now." What I can't figure is why didn't the message just say "get a seat on flight 421 this Friday afternoon"?
During a myriad of interviews on CNN from reporters who had talked to "officials" who are investigating the perps in order to get all of the most crucial information promptly out on the air to all Americans who really need to know in order to buy this story brought the following details to us from the depths of their intelligence:
1. Calls to various cities in the U.S. from London, such as New York and Washington were made by the alleged plotters and were intercepted by officials ... but produced no evidence.
2. One of the alleged plotters is a bio chem student.
3. Two of the alleged plotters had taken a trip to Pakistan at some point and may have met with an alleged Al Quaeda member who is suspected to be a qualified bomb maker.
4. One of the alleged plotters has been realeased.
Circumstantial nothingness will be repeated for the next 48 to 72 hours while Israel kills more innocent people. I don't know about you, but I bet Condoleeza is not flying without her hair doo gel.
Posted by: CitySites | August 11, 2006 at 08:51 PM
I'm confused. Ahmeddinnerjacket 1st said that all the peaceful never even had considered terrorism before Bush invaded Iraq Mooslims were pissed off and going to attack the USA and London because Bush and Blair attacked the utopia that was formerly Iraq (a place that had never before experienced sectarian violence), but then he says that the threat posed by the newly recruited terrorists was phony and made up by Blair, Bush, and Rove to know doubt stave off the juggernaught that is Ned Lamont.
Posted by: Justa Joe | August 11, 2006 at 08:58 PM
I am going to place Fatima at my front door too to keep Bush’s Big Boy Scouts off my lawn.
[Picture of Fatima in wilderness]
Fatima poses as Bigfoot trying to stomp out SUVs driving through pristine wilderness
And, I do like the "Fatima Led Zeppelin" one at the bottom.
Posted by: Talking Toaster | August 11, 2006 at 09:59 PM
oh godddddddddddd -- ryan
STOP FORCING YOUR RELIGION ON ME!
Posted by: Dodger | August 11, 2006 at 10:54 PM
You know, they really need to quit wasting tax payers money going after "terrorists", and start going after those people who were trying to sneak all sorts of nefarious items onto planes via their suitcases. I mean, stuff like, hair gel, shampoo, conditioner, Pepsi(it's not my fault it wasn't Coke), makeup, contact lens solution, and of course, the biggest culprit of all, WATER!!! Where is our gubmint when we need them to capture the real bad people?
"I didn't realize the US was in Lebanon"
The USA is a Lesbian? I wonder if Dick Cheney's Lesbian daughter, Mary, who is a Lesbian knows this.
Posted by: Kiki Bee | August 12, 2006 at 12:20 AM
If 2004 Ryghtful Presydent, Jean Francois Kerry, was in the White House, as he should be, he would personally be traveling to every airport in America, swinging down from his chopper like he did when he was a genuine VietNam War Hero unlike a certain spoiled little rich Bu$Hitler boy who I will not name, and he would be shooting down suspected terrorists of all races, colors and creeds with his machine gun.
Posted by: Bush4Ever | August 12, 2006 at 05:09 AM
Because of their hateful spiteful evil racial profiling of the peaceful practitioners of The Religion of Peace, The Bu$Hitler KKKrime Family has let the REAL
THREATS to the safety of Americans evertwhere run loose and wild. Isn't it time to investigate, indict, convict, try and impeach the most kkkorrupt kkkabal ever to ru(i)n this country?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | August 12, 2006 at 05:20 AM