The Worlds Greatest Terrorists have been busy the past few days. Two Muslims were nabbed in Ohio last Tuesday for the terrible crime of possessing too many cell phones. Six Egyptian Muslims were arrested and five more are being hunted down after failing to show up at the University of Montana. Excuse me, but if not going to college makes you a criminal, then the entire GOP should be behind bars.
Then just yesterday, the entire Islamabad Philharmonic Orchestra was rounded up in Great Britain for attempting to board a plane with a bottle of Snapple. So Rummy gets a parcel of new innocents to torture, in addition to the millions of innocent Muslims Bush and Blair have already murdered in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Meanwhile, as the Shrub and his lapdog are patting themselves on their backs, thousands of non-Muslims are waltzing through airport security unmolested.
Oh my Goddess! It’s a TERRORIST! Get her Bush! GET HER!!!!
What’s the matter, Shrub? Her skin isn’t dark enough for you?
There’s another one, Dumbya!! BOMB THE CRAP OUT OF HIS WEDDING RECEPTION AND HAUL HIM OFF TO GITMO!
No? Doesn’t fit into your stereotypical age group, eh?
How about this guy:
Holy crap, he's BLACK! And he's twenty-two in dog years! And he's on his way to a mosque!
KILL HIM, SHRUB! KILL HIM BEFORE HE GETS AWAY!!!
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, and I will say it once more for the hearing impaired: RACIAL PROFILING DOES NOT WORK. Anyone with half a brain and a progressive blog knows that racial profiling restricts the field of suspects down to far too narrow a sample of the population and encourages laziness among investigators.
Besides, in a free, colorblind society, a radical Muslim male attempting to board a commercial aircraft is just a tourist until he starts slashing throats, and then he must be considered innocent until proven guilty. But as it’s been made abundantly clear by yesterday's events, that “free society” we once lived in no longer exists.
"Sometimes when you watch the evening news, it's all gloom and doom -- and some of it has to be, because the world is a complicated and pretty scary place right now," says Katie Couric, 49. "But there has to be a place for more hopeful stories."
But, she adds, "it's not going to be smiley-face happy news."
I WIPE MY ASS 19 TIMES WITH KATIE COURIC'S SMILEY FACE!!
Posted by: Ayatollah Cro-Magnon | August 15, 2006 at 03:15 PM
Ayatollah Cro-Magnon, don't you mean what you said about our beloved perky Katie with reference to the FOX News "journalists"? I hear some of your freedom fighting comrades in Gaza invited a couple of FOX reporters to a Palestinian journalistic clinic to help them overcome their pro-Bu$Hitler/pro-Joooooooo bias.
Posted by: libmeister | August 15, 2006 at 05:23 PM
Yes, of course, you're right. What the AmeriKKKa was I saying? Mary Tyler Michael Moore is polishing up her act with Al Jazeera as I type this. And, yes, we have the two Faux News "journalists", and when we're done with them they'll be fully qualified to serve shoulder-to-artificial-shoulder/hip/teeth with Mike Wallass.
Posted by: Ayatollah Cro-Magnon | August 15, 2006 at 07:47 PM
Larry, why hasn't anyone mentioned that BusHitler's miltary force in England captured a womyn trying to exercise her Constitutional Ryght to Choose in the form of a late-late term abortion by giving her out-of-the-womb fetus (which the Neo-Con Right-Wing Cabal would have you believe is a "baby") a Death With Dignity in an exploding plane over the Atlantic Ocean?
Posted by: Lefty Gomez | August 16, 2006 at 09:29 AM
Has anyone of here given thought about who is responsible for people when they commit suicide? C'mon. You already know the answer!!!
Personal Responsibility? Familial Responsibility? Who needs 'em?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | August 16, 2006 at 11:21 AM
I knew Bush was responsible for global warming, terrorism, gas prices and hurricanes, but I had no idea he's also responsible for SUICIDE! I guess someone had to pick up the slack when Dr. Kervorkian got tossed in the slammer.
Speaking of suicide, about 2 minutes into being tricked into visiting KOS by that fascist B4E, I had this overwhelming desire to cut my own head off.
Posted by: The Exorcist | August 16, 2006 at 12:33 PM
I felt really dirty after going to KOS... I'm going to smell my grotch again to get the stink out...
Posted by: Arbiter | August 16, 2006 at 01:49 PM
It looks like they've finally found Jon Bonet's murderer. I just can't understand for the life of me how a sweet little girl could have been any kind of threat to the Bush regime that she had to be silenced...
Posted by: Arbiter | August 16, 2006 at 03:40 PM
I was under the impression that all Lyberals, I mean, Progressyves, considered both DailyKos and Democratic Underground to walk hand in hand on groin with this site in SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER!!!!
Posted by: Bush4Ever | August 16, 2006 at 07:35 PM
Hey, has anyone seen Larry since the Jon Benet arrest? The did say the suspect was a teacher. He could be getting set up by THE MAN! (I'm just surprised that he hasn't posted since the news came out that the UN was going to put the German Army on the Lebanon-Israel border -- now there's an outfit that knows how to deal with jooooooos!)
Posted by: Bubblehead | August 16, 2006 at 09:41 PM
Here is the link:
See: Bush on Harley Chopper
Posted by: Talking Toaster | August 17, 2006 at 04:31 AM
Bush Rides Harley Chopper - Joins Hell's Angeles Gang
Wednesday, Bush made a high profile jingoistic tour of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle factory.
The Shrubinator got on a new Harley chopper and said that The world must open it markets to Harley-Davidson motorcycles or face certain. revenge.
This sent the Redneck cheering in a orgy of jingoistic joy.
After shaking hands with Harley-Davidson/Hell Angel's workers Bush dawned an honorary Hells Angel's jacket, grabbed a sprocket chain; swung it around in the air like a cowboy and said, "Any country who doesn't buy Harley-Davidson motorcycles will get whooped upside the head. And, you Ahabs better GIT AWAY FROM MY OIL."
[Picture of Bush on Chopper]
President George W. Bush sits on a motorcycle at the roll test section of the assembly line at the Harley-Davidson Vehicle Operations facility Wednesday, Aug. 16, 2006 in York, Pa., where President Bush also participated in a roundtable discussion on the economy. White House photo by Kimberlee Hewitt
See: Bush on Harley Chopper
Posted by: Talking Toaster | August 17, 2006 at 04:39 AM
Wow... They're not even trying to hide it anymore. Bush is shown clearly in one of those pictures consorting openly with Hardcore Fundamentalist Anti-Science Anti-Choice Anti-Evolution Anti-Same sex marriage Christians.
Posted by: ponytailed guy | August 17, 2006 at 07:14 AM
Che: Does that count as a "Dirty Sanchez"
Che, I know you have been under a bit of stress trying to correctly spell "conspiracy," but that is no excuse taking your frustrations out on our Faithful Undocumented Worker population. My lyfe partner, Geraldo Rivera-Rivera-Gonzales-Sanchez was deeply hurt by your remark. I assured him that you were under Neo-KKKon control, and that and a few episodes of "Chico And The Man" seemed to lift his spyrits.
Just remember that a good Liberal, er Progressive, knows that spelling rules restrict us all from expressing ourselves phonetically. A word is spelled correctly when the speller feels comfortable with the word arrangement. You should know that!
Posted by: Wilderness Fox | August 17, 2006 at 07:25 AM
Wylderniss Focs, viry weil poot!
Posted by: Arbiter | August 17, 2006 at 07:51 AM
Bubblehead,
The Germany Army are pussies. They needed the help of the SS just to fight on the Russian front.
Not only that, when it came to the work and re education centers (the Joooooooooos called them concentration camps, but as we all know, the Holocaust didn't happen and doesn't exist)they wet themselves and Hitler had to call in the SS while he sent the Wermacht to Normandy and the Battle of the Bulge. Which they lost.
Posted by: PTPFP | August 17, 2006 at 07:59 AM
"The Germany Army are pussies."--PTPFP
Okay, any chick/broad/hammer/dame/womyn who can call a bunch of pussies exactly what they are, a bunch of pussies, is my kind of progressyve.
Posted by: Phil Donahue | August 17, 2006 at 08:16 AM
I don't get it. Amenijihad says the Holocaust didn't happen. Where did those 6 millions Jews go? Are they hiding?
Posted by: Arbiter | August 17, 2006 at 09:14 AM
Persyns who ride Harleys are hateful spiteful mean & nasty!! I once saw two of them just hanging out with their bikes and one of them told me that he loved his hog. I thought he meant that the persyn standing next to him was his LyfePartner so I suggested a threesome and was in the hospital for a month.
Breeders!!!
Posted by: Bush4Ever | August 17, 2006 at 09:26 AM
They're not hiding, they're just busy fighting in all the wars in human history that they caused.
Posted by: Mel Gibson | August 17, 2006 at 09:35 AM
"Where did those 6 millions Jews go? Are they hiding?"
You know what I think? I think there's a secret Joooo-Land that was created by the entire Bu$Hitler KKKrime Family back in the days of the pyramids where they hid their SUVs. And I think that, when Jooos are killed in self-defense by practitioners of The Religion of Peace, they go get a Joooo from the secret Joooo-Land to replace it.
Anyone else hear anything about this?
Posted by: Bush4Ever | August 17, 2006 at 09:54 AM
YES!!! Bush can't spy on "terror suspects" anymore!! Now we're bound to get another 9/11 because of Bush's hateful Imperialistic policies! Now Shrubya won't be able to prevent the attacks! Take that Karl Rove!
I'm building a bomb shelter...er I mean underground commune as I type this glorious post!!
Posted by: Arbiter | August 17, 2006 at 10:08 AM
OOOHHHHHH!
Happy Days are here again
oh happy days are here again
oh happy days are here again
happy days are here again.
This is will teach Chimpy and his trigger-happy side-kick, Elmer Fudd, a thing or two about The Constitution.
They obviously didn't learn anything when presented with the clear wording from The Constitution about gay marriage, abortion and living wages. Maybe a rocket up their mustachioed backside, along with another couple thousand other backsides (mustachioed, un-mustachioed and still-in-diapers backsides) will get the message across.
STOP EAVESDROPPING ON MY GAY CHAT-LINE!!!
Posted by: Spokespersyn - Anti Christ Lesbians Union | August 17, 2006 at 11:13 AM
In an interview with Der Speigel, when asked if there might be a problem putting members of the German Army on Israel's northern borders as peacekeeprs, the groovy progressyve Jimmy Carter said, "We can ignore history" in this case.
I guess the historical memory of Germanic and Jewish peoples must be around fifty or so years whereas the historical memories of Muslim freedom fighters is somewhere around thirteen hundred years going back to the KKKrusades.
And speaking of the KKKrusades, it's just like the damn Pope and KKKatholic Church to declare pre-emptive war against peace loving Muslim freedom fighers who were merely trying to turn indigenous KKKhristians in the Middle East into dhimmies for their own good. Clearly this was the Muslims' first attempt at universal health care and here comes the fascist kkkonservatives in the KKKatholic KKKhurch to screw everything up with an immoral and illegal war. Obviously some things never change.
Posted by: libmeister | August 17, 2006 at 11:27 AM
The folks at Irregular Times are speaking truth to power on the subject of racial profiling! Praise Gaia!
Exorcist: I used your quiz in one of my responses, seeing as how it really speaks truth to power. (I gave you credit.)
Posted by: Wilderness Fox | August 17, 2006 at 12:24 PM