What We Do In Life, Echoes in Eternity

Friends, the time is at hand. A few short hours from now, the Rolling Blogfast for Peace will spread across this nation like head lice at a MoveOn.Org rally. Our noble sacrifice will open the world's eyes to the futility of Bush's war, and allow Nick Nolte to finally have a little bite to eat, for crying out loud.

I had a Russell Crowesque pep speech all prepared, but the clock is ticking and I’m sure you’re all anxious to receive your assigned fasting periods. That said, the groundswell of grassroots support petered out around 70 volunteers. In fact, I became so desperate for bodies that I unwittingly allowed active and retired military personnel to participate. How are we supposed to bring the horror of war home to the American People with all these soldiers butting in? Oh well, it’s too late to do anything about it now. The Blogfast will march on, undaunted by any right-wing attempts at sabotage. On the bright side, the light roster will let us wrap the whole shebang up early so we can watch The View. You go, Babs!

12:00-12:10 Lawrence Baez Chomstein, Seattle, WA
12:10-12:20 Call to Prayer
12:20-12:30 Betty Gaynor, Mount Prospect, IL
12:30-12:40 Robert Zakheim, San Quentin State Prison, CA
12:40-12:50 Arianna Huffington
12:50-1:00 Danny Duke (MurthaFan), Memphis, TN
1:00-1:10 BillyBob Duke (MurthaFan’s Dad), Memphis, TN
1:10-1:20 Carol Condon, Colville, WA
1:20-1:30 Alan A., Ft. Worth, TX
1:30-1:40 Travis Warriner, San Diego, CA*
1:40-1:50 Tim Mo, St. Cloud, MN
1:50-2:00 Jump, Little Eichmanns, Jump
2:00-2:10 Robert Boyce, Tukwila, WA
2:10-2:20 Call to Prayer
2:20-2:30 Jean Partington, Marysville, WA
2:30-2:40 Jean’s Husband, Dan, Acapulco, Mexico
2:40-2:50 Call to Prayer
2:50-3:00 Robert H., Vernon NJ
3:00-3:10 Dan Lee Mitchell, Jubail, Saudi Arabia
3:10-3:20 JannyMae, Gilbert, AZ
3:20-3:30 Ché, Boise, ID
3:30-3:40 Station Commando, Minneapolis, MN
3:40-3:50 Kevin Watkins of Disposable Wisdom, Slidell, LA (what’s left of it)
3:50-4:00 Eric Turunen, Chicago IL
4:00-4:10 Jason Lomberg, Cherry Hill, NJ
4:10-4:20 Doug Erickson, Richmond, VA
4:20-4:30 Adam de la Torre, Mesa, AZ
4:30-4:40 Judy-Michelle Jones, Chicago, IL
4:40-4:50 Dodger, Houston, TX
4:50-5:00 Barry Austin Andersonville, TN
5:00-5:10 Matthew Reilly, Seaside, OR
5:10-5:20 Red Loser, West Lafayette, IN
5:20-5:30 Todd Early, Encino, CA
5:30-5:40 Call to Prayer
5:40-5:50 Mark Lukey, Wright-Patterson AFB, OH
5:50-6:00 Damian G. of Conservathink
6:00-6:10 Joel Kennedy "Bubblehead" Meridian, ID
6:10-6:20 Call to Prayer
6:20-6:30 David B. Schlosser, Flagstaff, AZ,
6:30-6:40 spd rdr, Aunt Lousia's apple tree, Richmond, Virginia
6:40-6:50 Time for Ginseng Colonics!
6:50-7:00 Mary Haueisen, St. Louis, MO
7:00-7:10 Shawn Awesome, Pittsburgh, PA
7:10-7:20 Tony the Master Debator, Clovis, CA
7:20-7:30 El-ahrairah AKA The Gungy Guide
7:30-7:40 Brian Seeley, Long Branch, NJ
7:40-7:50 Musli
7:50-8:00 The Exorcist
8:00-8:10 Wulf, Richmond, VA
8:10-8:20 Paul D. Hergert, Huntsville, Alabama
8:20-8:30 EUNICE ZENADA ELLDWINA MADONNA TUDBALLDANARO (Rocky Mtn. Lioness)
8:30-8:40 Art Pappas, Naples, FL
8:40-8:50 Maria Stahl, New Albin, Iowa.
8:50-9:00 Imelda Chomstein, Marysville, WA
9:00-9:10 Joan “Joanie” Berkwitz, California
9:10-9:20 Patrick Peacepipe, Sydney, Australia
9:20-9:30 Call to Prayer
9:30-9:40 Steffen Caldwell, Köln, Germany
9:40-9:50 Neil L, Brisbane, Australia
9:50-10:00 Stacia Goodloe, Culver City, CA
10:00-10:10 Skippy Long Legs (JohnR), Port Charlotte, NE
10:10-10:20 Bob Thompson, Austin, TX
10:20-10:30 Lynn Roberts, Orlando, FL
10:30-10:40 Gary Shuster, Sunnyvale, CA
10:40-10:50 Jay Flemma, New York, NY
10:50-11:00 Scott MacDonald, Ajax Ontario, Canada
11:10-11:20 Michelle, Bourne, TX
11:20-11:30 Marshall Neal, Bakersfield, CA

*Not to be confused with Travis Wariner of San Diego, CA; Travis Warner of San Diego, CA; Travis Warener of San Diego, CA; or Travis Werner of San Diego, CA.

Remember - and I cannot stress this enough - FASTING MEANS NO EATING. ANYTHING!! Those of you who keep sending emails asking if placentas count as food, YES THEY DO! Do not – I REPEAT – do NOT eat anything for your entire ten minutes. If anyone stumbles, if anyone falters in their duty, it will negate the entire fast. Bush will win, world peace will never be realized, and Gwyneth Paltrow will die alone the gutter. I know it’s a heavy burdern, perhaps one too heavy for non-progressives to bear. But they don’t hand out Liberal Arts degrees to limp-wristed weenies, do they? Hang tough. Fight the Power. And if you find yourself alone, riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!

Comments

[camojack]

Looks like I'm off the hook...I didn't see myself listed. But I'll abstain from eating anyway, at least until I do...

[Bubblehead]

Is this local time? Greenwich Mean Time? Daylight Savings Time? Howdy Doody Time? Now that you let us military types in, you'll have to expect to provide this level of detail.

[JannyMae]

Yeah, Bubblehead, I wondered the same thing. Is this Washington time? If so, I don't have to strain my brain figuring anything out! Phew! What a relief...I think??

[Dodger]

Man, I'm pretty nervous about this. I sure hope I don't let Larry down.

[Che]

Wait a minute! Where's this friggin' euphoric feeling I'm supposed to get? Quick, someone put me in a persistent vegetative state so I can enjoy this.

[Dodger]

Shouldn't we synci..sincro..all set our clocks the same or something? I don't want to cut into someone else's time. I mean if I'm off by like, 2 minutes, that's 30% of my time.

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

Dodger honey,
Why is it that you don't use your real name here?...Einstein.

You are a true progressyve, D! With humility only rivaled by that of rightful Peeresident Jean Fraude Kerryokie! I bet you, nor anyone else here knows he's a decorated Vietnam Veteran. And the "decorations" I'm talking about aren't rice grains in his (southern) cheeks! *THUD*...I just heard the collective THUD of everyone here at that hidden until now revelation. The Shrubs ReichWing Media ho's sure weren't going to tell us about Mr. President Kerry's nobleness...especially after he, in his humility, BEGGED them not to. (like they wanted him to look good anyway. tools!)

Lawrence Baez Chomstein!!!.... You PUTZ! I only use my real name on bathrooms walls at truck stops. Now when the jackbooted NSA comes after me, I'm leaving them directions to your under the sink cupboard. That'll teach you!

If my Himalayan/Persian kitty or my mop dog decides to sleep right next to me and some of their fur happens to get in my mouth between 8:20 & 8:30 am, will that undo the whole freakin' rollin' rage against Bushes war Machine fast??? I'll definitely be fasting then...including fasting capitalism and Neoconvict type productivity since I don't get up til noon or 1 anyway, so I can catch Maury Povich on TV.
Ahhh...those REM visions of Sugar Plumps dancing in my head! Michael Moore is HOT HOT HOT in a tutu, y'all. I'm going to send the food I fast to Hollywood since they're such diligent, tireless, sacrificial, selfless trailblazers in this effort to protest Bus..err...the illegal & immoral war.
WE and HOLLYWOOD SUPPORT THE TROUPES!~ Always have, always will!

[Steffen Caldwell]

YAH FOR ME!!! I made the list!!! 9:30-9:40 Steffen Caldwell, Köln, Germany

So if 9:30 is supposed to be Seattle time that means 06:30-06:40 OH man I have to wake up early and not eat?!?! It will be a test of will to show the evil Bushco/Hilliburton/Nazi umpire that we tru progressives are up to the call!!

To Larry and all the other tru progressive liberal tinfoil hat wearing patRIOTS let us sing in joy to our cause! Bean sprout party at my place when this is done!!

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

Woo Hoo, Steffen.
I have Little Eichmann jello molds and will chill some carob & mango tofu molds for the party.

I just hope my sundial is very precise so I don't mess up my 10 minutes. I'm going to lose alot of sleep....and bong hits--- over that.

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

In my distraughtedness at Larry's basically handing the keys of victory over to Bu$hitler, My mind was playing tricks on me there. For a minute I thought: "OH NO! Lawrence Baez Chomstein is a RePuKKKe MOLE! I thought you said you swallowed your RIGHT GUARD® , Lar!!! And we ALL know that's something a true progressyve would NEVER have in their possession!! Betcha, too, Haliburton makes those NightGuards! HEIMLICH, Lar..HEIMLICH! At the least you could have some of those midgets you tutor jump up and down on your chest so you can expel that thing like a pregnant woman does a fetal flesh lump at Planned Parenthood.

[Talking Toaster]

I want to show my true appreciation to Larry for excusing me from the Rolling BlogFast - after all I am a Toaster.

Thanks to Larry and his crew, Michael Moore, Ed Asner and Ted Kennedy will not have to miss a meal.

I will be warming 4 dozen raspberry and cinnamon Pop Tarts for Michael Moore, 2 dozen buttered English muffins for Ed Asner.

And, in an effort to reduce global warming, 2 aluminum cups of Rum will be placed on top of each heating slot for Ted Kennedy's breakfast (he prefers his rum hot in the morning).

With the help from Liberal Larry's crew no important Progressyve will go unnourished (or suffer DTs).

Thanks to all of you who sacrificed so much for so few.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Well fine if you aren't going to include me then I'm going to.... er um well.... er.... I'm to angry even to threaten at the moment but I will not be disenfranchised.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Who is this Elysium, and is she hot?

Hey-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

[spd rdr]

It's almost time. I can feel the power beginning to rise inside of me as I ready myself for my ten minutes of fame and glory. My stomach is protesting itself by growling in anticipation. Damn, Aunt louisa's apples look good. But I can be strong. Strong for Larry. Strong for Daryl. Strong for Peace. Man, those things look good. All red and plump like my butt got that time I fell asleep face down on the nude beach in Mexico. I wonder if Daryl is thinking about me? I wonder if she gazing out of her environmentally friendly Malibu mansion and wisherping words of encouragement. I can see her now, her eyes brimming with tears of joy and pride as she slowly chants "Go spd rdr. Go fast for me. Fast for me. You and me. fasting together for peace for love for....."

I gotta go.

[El-ahrairah]

Rats!!! I couldn't help myself and I had to nibble on a carrot during my assigned time. But, because I'm a rabbit, you have to allow me some gratuitous nibbling to keep my blood sugar up.

[spd rdr]

I DID IT!!! It wasn't hard at all! All you have to do is keep yourself occupied. Thank you, Daryl, for sharing those few minutes with me. Peace through trees.

[Maria in Iowa]

This is really very convenient, because I had to go to one of those things at my husband's office last night where you all stand around and drink free booze and pretend that these people are really your friends, unpaid, after hours? You know? Office cocktail party? (A sexist term if ever there was one.) And they had hors d'oevres, and something in the hors d'oevres table had little buglies in it, and this morning both Barry and I woke up feeling like eating anything at all was the very last thing we would want to do today.

So it doesn't matter what time zone we're dealing with, I'll make my slot, no problem.

[Mark Lukey]

Lioness, with regard to your afterglow party, you should know that I subbed out nine of my 10 minutes to friends, so you're going to need another couple of boxes of poptarts. Can I bring anything?

[Fist of Etiquette]

So cold, so very cold.

Must. Eat. Something...

[jainphx]

I have this mental picture of all the weight loss involved here.Some of you people look amaciated,please eat before it's to late.

[PTPFP]

I am offended. As a Pink Turbaned Progressyve For Peace, I do not see my name up there, so to convince you all of my peaceful intentions, I will have to join forces with the Al Bundy Martyr Brigades to lop off your heads and sell the videos on the net.

All proceed to go to Al QAIAIAIAIAIAIAIDA!

Lulu Akbar!

[Maria in Iowa]

I've now fasted through four time zones worth of my shift and I have yet to see World Peace happening. What's up with that? I had no idea world peace was so much work.

[Bilgeman]

Chom-steen;

Hey, pal, are you lookin' for trouble from the yoon-yun?

You wanna go sit in the August Texas sun with Cindy Sheehan, that's fine with me.

But this business of not eating means that people won't be digesting.

If people ain't digesting, they won't need plumbing...and that's not okay with me...or the boys down at the hall, you follow?

So if you skinny progressyves want to give up the grub, at least go and flush something down the crapper so that the working class still has jobs.

BTW, Mr. Tire Iron wants to know if anyone has a problem with that?

Regards;

[The Exorcist]

OoooooooDawgie!

Just got through the most challenging 10 minutes I've had since Tony Blair's little sister through my lyfe-partner down those steps.

Had we not entirely consumed Neocon Pincher with a side of farva beans in Chief WigWam Churchill's TeePee last night during our johnson-gobbling pre-fast Feast-Fest, I'd have never made it.

I smell the flowers a little better this morning.
I see the sunrise a little clearer.
I feel globyl warming completely reversing itself.
I trust that DicKKK Cheney is going to have a pacemaker malfunction sometime today.
I have a premonition that Bush will be impeached in the next 6 months.
I have asked one of the buffaloes that Arbiter and I engaged in rough sex with last night to marry me.
I have finished all the repairs to the Misery Tour Balls-loon-basket, added a couple dozen "Will You Marry Me" helium balloons to handle the extra weight, and she's ready to get us back to Berkeley.

Yes, life is good, life is sweet, life has never been better.

[Neocon-pincher]

*chuckle @ Maria in Iowa*

Don't oppress us with your Draconian TIME ZONES!

We are FREE persyns!