Starving for Attention

Most patriotic progressives were against Bush’s illegal and immoral war on terror before it even began, but the rest of America needs more convincing. The constant barrage of pro-Bush propaganda from the mainstream media has blinded them to the truth, and closed their minds to our hysterical screeching. Compounding their blissful ignorance is Bush’s refusal to parade the flag-draped corpses of dead soldiers across our TV screens, thus shielding ordinary Americans from the real Cost of War, and denying MoveOn.Org any footage for their TV spots. Well, the Hollywood Community says “NO MORE!” In the spirit of the powerfully effective hunger strikes held by civil rights leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Cesar Chavez, and Mary-Kate Olsen, socially-conscious celebrities have pledged to “bring the suffering of pain and war home” in a “rolling fast” – a relay in which some our most beloved entertainers will take turns starving themselves for 24 hours. On the surface, Susan Sarandon skipping dinner at Spago may seem like nothing compared to having both your legs blown off by a roadside bomb, but when you factor in that the Beautiful People are 100 times more important than your average grunt, their sacrifices come out about even.

Applying that same mathematical formula to the progressive blogosphere, I invite my readers to join me in a day of fasting as not just a protest against the war, but a show of support for our beloved Hollywood entertainers who are putting their own health and wonderful good looks on the line in order to stop it. Liberal Larry’s Rolling BlogFast will show the world that we are tired of war, fed up with the killing, and sick of our living national treasures having to take time out from promoting their latest film to demoralize America.

Here’s how it’s going to work: July 12th – one week from today - will be divided up into 144 ten-minute increments. Everyone who joins up will be assigned their own 10-minute period in which they will refrain from eating. YOU MUST NOT EAT FOR THE ENTIRE TEN MINUTES. Once your 10 minutes are up, you will “pass the fast” on to the next reader, who will NOT EAT ANY FOOD AT ALL for TEN WHOLE MINUTES.

Remember, it’s very important that you DO NOT EAT ANY FOOD AT ALL during the entire ten minutes allotted to you. If just one person slips up and eats a Twinkie, the right-wing hate-o-sphere will sink their claws into it and make our whole effort look like a great big joke. My advice would be to gorge yourself just prior to your 10-minute commitment, and to refrain from smoking any glaucoma medication lest you get the munchies.

I will take the first ten minutes, 12:00 am to 12:10 am. I figure if I can then get all my readers on board, I can fill up the first two hours. We’ll see. On the night of the 11th, I will post the entire list of participants so you’ll know when you’ll be fasting. Those whose 10 minutes fall in the hours of sleep will have the toughest time, for they’ll have to set their alarm so they can wake up and not eat. Then there will be nobody around to witness their courageous act of self-sacrifice. It almost defeats the whole purpose. But if Sean Penn can do without the publicity, so can we.

Email me your name and city of residence and I’ll assign you your ten-minute period. I encourage other bloggers to participate as well, if you aren’t too busy hosting a Carnival Of the Cats or some other thinly-veiled ploy to sucker in some extra traffic.

They wear ribbons for AIDS victims. They join marches for cop killers. And now, they are skipping a couple meals for world peace. We can never repay Hollywood icons for the horrible suffering they constantly endure for us, but if I can get 144 people to join in on my BlogFast, perhaps together we will bring this war to a quick end so Ed Asner won’t have to pass up a single pork chop.

Comments

[Tamada]

Larry I have sent my email but of course did not include my city of residence since we all know Bush reads every email in the World. I am posting it here instead since Chimpy is unable to comprehend such intelligence as yourself so will never make it to these comments. Clovis California (Tony the masterdebator) Gosh somehow that just sounds wrong

[The Exorcist]

I'm in. I'll be GaiaDamned if I'm going to stand idily by while Ed Asner misses a thick, juicy pork-chop. I'm usually sleeping sometime between 1210 - 0630, so any 10 minutes in that time frame will be a huge sacrifice on my part.

You know where to find me. The alley behind the Vatican.

The Ex-whore's-cyst

[camojack]

How 'bout...while I'm at work?

Just not during lunch...

[Bubblehead]

I'm in! If you could assign me sometime between 5 and 5:30pm, I'm normally driving home then, so everyone will be able to see me fast, and know I'm Speaking Truth To Power!

[Menstrual Rainbow]

I'll sign up, but I just want to make sure that I'll be allowed to drink whilst fasting. Just a large banana milkshake to ease my suffering.

I just gone over to Mikey Moore's place to enrol him in this protest, I'm not saying he refused but he sure knows how to make a pork chop sting when it hits you.

[Dodger]

In light of Larry's wonderful idea, I would like to sign up to help speak truth to power. I live in Houston, Texas....home state of the great satan.

[crosspatch]

May I pay my migrant handyman to perform the actual fasting while he runs the leaf blower and still get credit for facilitating a fasting? You see, I just opened this new bag of Doritos ...

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is it okay if you start your ten minutes with a mouthful of food? When does the act of "eating" actually begin, when you stuff the freshly made pasta with smoked apple bacon, cherry tomatoes and arugula into your face, or when you swallow it (maybe washing it back with a nice chardonnay)?

Also, those of us on Ambien will not be able to get our ten minutes alotted during any of the eleven hours a night that we're "doing it with the sandman".

And finally, my publicist says I should be doing this in front of a camera despite what you say, so I plan to drive around looking for the Eyewitness News Call4Action van and for my ten minutes jump up and down like an idiot behind a reporter doing a live story.

[Bush4Ever]

Burgers Con Queso

Chili powder and green onions add a whole new dimension to everyone's favorite cheeseburger. Serve with extra crispy curly fries sprinkled with salt and a touch of chili powder for a memorable accompaniment.

1 (10-ounce) package STOUFFER'S® Welsh Rarebit, prepared according to package directions
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 tablespoon chopped green onion
6 hamburger patties, cooked and held warm
6 hamburger buns, split and toasted
1/2 head shredded lettuce
1 diced red pepper
COMBINE Welsh rarebit, chili powder and green onion.
PLACE hamburgers on bottom halves of buns.
TOP with Welsh rarebit mixture. Garnish with lettuce and bell pepper. Cover with tops of buns.
Makes 6 servings.

Recipe is the property of Nestlé® and Meals.com, used with permission.

[Moonchild]

Of course I'm in. I've begun a steady routine of 30-second fasts, and I succeed three times out of four. It's tough, especially when my life partner is chowing down on tofu with brussel sprouts under a glistening pinto-bean sauce. I've had an encounter session about this insensitivity to the plight of the baby-killers, but it hasn't helped. Yet, I will continue until the world pays attention to me.

[George Galloway]

Marvellous idea.

All revolutionaries know the power of fasts. Back in the 30s Russia more than 10 million loyal communists made the final sacrifice to protest about world hunger, followed by 40 million more in 1950-60s China.

Back in my student days we used to do 10 minutes air-fasts against the Crimean war. They warned us that might cause brain damage but look who's laughing now.

[Laurence Simon]

Do you have a problem with catbloggers, Moonbat?

[Arbiter]

Larry, I am humbly requesting a pass on this one. The glaucoma medicine I take every 10 minutes or so gives me the munchies...

[Gib]

I'll take 10 minutes between 4 and 5 a.m.

Oh, what the hell. Make it 15.

BECAUSE I CARE!!!!!

[Neocon-pincher]

I volunteer to fast for the ENTIRE HOUR of 4 a.m to 5 a.m.

I will go above and beyond for this noble act of peaceful protest, because THAT'S THE WAY I ROLL!

I'll have to remember to wake up and have a tofu and cheese casserole at 2.

Wait a minute! I don't eat DAIRY!

[tommy]

I'm in, and I'm already training for this event, right now I'm up to 5 minutes at a stretch with only minor water intake.

[Arbiter]

In addition to the waiver I've requested, we also need to make an exception for Saint Ted Kennedy. He has a bad case of hypoglycemia and cotton mouth.

[Mo]

I'll take any time between 8:30am to 5:30pm. I plan to fast in front of my co-workers! Those Bush loving Nazi racist assholes that they are. We'll show them!

P.S. I'm in Dallas.

[Rocky Mtn. Lioness]

Can we chew gum during our fast? It helps to curb the hunger. Dunno if it'll help do that after a bong hit, though.

As a show of nationwide solidarity in this act of status quo humility and sacrifice to reclaim our country, we should have [hemp] t-shirts printed up and all wear them on that day. Oh yeah, and we're also showing our sinsneer support of our baby killer thug troops.

This (horrible) country's selfless & superfic..err...sacrificial servants in Hollowood would know whether or not Vera Wang or Prada, et al, would be our best T-shirt maker choice.

Michael Moore, I'm sure, already knows to contact his tentmaker.

[Che]

I'm good for 10 minutes. 15 if there's a KKKritical shortage of willing participants.

Maybe we can do it again during Ramadan to take the burden off freedom fyghters. It's unfair that anyone should have to spontaneously explode on an empty stomach.

[Son of the South (c)]

I signed up - off course, ya'll don't know my real name . . .

Bwaah-ha-ha-ha.

lol

SoS

[Dave]

You can count me and the three other guys from "Jump, Little Eichmanns, Jump". we stand with you...

[Arbiter]

Does tofu count?

[Jenny Pissed Off Craig]

Hey, Chomstein! Beat it! Get your own shtick, would ya?

[al-Bundy Martyr Brigades]

The Brigades are wondering, does couscous count?