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Baldwin is Bald

President Chirac on responding to terrorist threats to France, January 19th 2006:

President Jacques Chirac said Thursday that France was prepared to launch a nuclear strike against any country that sponsors a terrorist attack against French interests. He said his country's nuclear arsenal had been reconfigured to include the ability to make a tactical strike in retaliation for terrorism.....

The leaders of states who would use terrorist means against us, as well as those who would envision using . . . weapons of mass destruction, must understand that they would lay themselves open to a firm and fitting response on our part," Chirac said during a visit to a nuclear submarine base in Brittany. "This response could be a conventional one. It could also be of a different kind."

Against a regional power, our choice is not between inaction and destruction," Chirac said, according to the text of his speech posted on the presidential Web site. "The flexibility and reaction of our strategic forces allow us to respond directly against the centers of power. . . . All of our nuclear forces have been configured in this spirit."

Of course if Israeli the enemy were Greenpeace then the current response would be considered proportionate.


I'm going to stage an "experience of peasful negotiations". To show the joooos how it's done.

A little background.

I don't celabrate the forth of July, but if I did, I couldn't have this year Due to some heath problems earlier this month.... And a parole violation or three.

I'm back on my med's now though. So this Saturday night... some friends, their lyfe partners, and unaborted children are coming over for a celabration of the successfull Ballon Trip and fake but accurate completion of the Fast.

74 single shot artillery shell's, with 20 double shot mega morters Baby!!

My thoughts are to aim some thought the window of my nazi neigbour. Who fly's an ameriKKKon and complains about my "death to booosh and jews" display. If any of his kids are watching, I may even grab a few...just for sh*ts and giggles.

Then I will show the world how to have him meet every demand I have, while I give up nothing. Not even his kids.

He's a retired Marine Gunny Sgt, who's built like a gaint ape on steriold. So this sould be very insightful and enlyghting!!!

The Exorcist

"Because of these people I haven't seen a piece of Blond Lebanese hash since the 80ties."--MOABP

Mother Dearest,

Dude, I've yet to see a piece of Blond Lebanese ass. Although I'm hoping that at least 1 of the 72 virgins Allah Akbarf promised us is kind of albino-like just to break up the monotony.

Actually, now that I fantasize about it, what I'm really praying to Allah Akbarf for is the following.

10 white girls. No fat chicks and no chicks named Ann.

10 mexican chicks. I'll need someone to do the job those 10 white girls just won't do.

10 black chicks. Take it from the Exorcist, once you go black, you NEVER go back.....can you dig it.

10 asian chicks. They must be regular stair-master users because I gots to have that big behind that blows my mind.

10 indian chicks. Pocahanas style.

10 indian chicks. Slurpee sytle.

10 middle-eastern chicks. Must shave their mustachioed backsides regularly, remain nude at all times and leashed to bomb-sniffing dogs.

2 lipstick lesbians. I would've prayed for 10 lipstick lesbians but let's face it, there's only 2 good-looking lesbians in the world. And they can only be seen in porno films, so Neocon Pincher tells me, so how many more could there possibly be in heaven?


If we could just get Ryghtful Presydent of 2000 Gore in office by IMPEACHING The Bu$Hitler KKKrime Family then we could get vehicles that are run on burning hemp to drive around all the countries of Gaia's planet, which we Enlyghtened Lyberals, I mean, Progressyves, actually know is one big country without borders except those imposed by Re-Thug-li-KKKan KKKonservative KKKhristians.
The exhaust of these vehicles would give all the pyoply a peaceful, easy feeling and there would be no war except for the Joooos but we would all be too busy goofing on them to actually do any fighting.
What do you think? A plan that'll work?


we would all be too busy goofing on them to actually do any fighting.

I don't know if it will work, but it's good enough to get coffee overspray on my monitor.

Fist of Etiquette

At the Group of Eight Summit:

Bush: "Yo, Blair, get your limey ass over here."

Blair: "Yes, quite."

Bush: "What up, dawg?"

Blair: "I say, would it be permissible for me to visit the Middle East to talk to the lads there about possibly stepping back hostilities?"

Bush: "Naw, sit down, Landslide, you ain't going anywhere. Let the big boys handle the heavy lifting. Condi can take care of it. Where is she, anyways? I need to see if I can use the little boys' room."


I, on the other hand, am more enlytened than to classify womyn by race.

15: long-legged, Nicole Kidman-esque super slender women. All of varying skin tones and hair types/colors.

15: Curvy Jaylo women with spankable backsides and full breasts. All of varying skin tones and hair types/colors.

15: Shortish, petit girls with loads of energy and enthusiasm. All of varying skin tones and hair types/colors.

15: Athletic fitness trainer chicks with defined butt muscles and tight abs. All of varying skin tones and hair types/colors.

11: Tall women with very long, graceful limbs. All of varying skin tones and hair types/colors.

1: Smart, witty, bisexual woman that you can actually have a relationship with.

Damn, I'm ready! Where is my bomb vest?

The Exorcist


I just got off the phone with Allah. He has a few questions regarding your wish-list for 72 virgins.

1. Will the witty bisexual woman require more black hair on their toes than you've got?

2. Can Allah share the spankable Jaylo with you every other Sunday?

3. Can Allah susbstitute the super slender Nicole Kidman-esque with Ann Coulter?

4. There aren't any virgin Athletic fitness trainer chicks with defined butt muscles and tight abs. Sorry.


They really don't have to be virgins. I mean, "I'm as big a fan of the 'befuddled' thing as the next guy. But six or seven virgins in -- you're going to want a pro."

-- Dennis Miller


Q: Why don't they teach Islam in Baltimore MD Public Schools?

A: Well, there's thing about needing 72 virgins...

The Exorcist


How could you quote a supporter of Bush on these sacred pages? Although Dennis Miller started life as an enlytened progressyve, he abandoned ship after entering the 3rd grade and stabbed every one of us children playing on the left side of the playground, ryte in the back.

The UN Resolution for this site clearly states that: Only really funny comedians, like Janeane Garafalafalo, Al Franken, every comedian on BET, Lewis Black, and anyone else who's really bitter and pissed off at the world when a Republican is president are UN-Approved "Comedians" fit for this site.

You'd be kind to refrain from quoting comedians that aren't approved by the UN and probably don't even have the good taste and decency to belong to the Union.


Michael Jackson is converting to Islam, provided he can have his koran amended to 72 little boys...


"UN-Approved "Comedians" fit for this site."

Will KoffeeKup Anan's son, Cujo, be appearing here anytime soon? I liked him in that movie where he played the rabid St Bernard.

Rabid $#@!

$#!@, I'm disgusted with this blog. Bush $#@!'ing swore, right on international TV, in front of the whole world, and all you want to write about is France?? How can this f'ing country ever keep the respect of our devoutly religious brethren in the Arab lands with this $#!@ chimp in office?? The world's going to hell in a handbasket, that's for $#!#$@%^!* sure.


Mrs. Che occasionally reads the comments, but even if she didn't, my virgyn list would look like:

72 womyn exactly like my wife.

The only minor modifications I might make are:
10 own breweries.
10 own HD dealerships.
5 are Snap-On Tool representatives who get free samples (Not to be mistaken with "Strap-On Tool", a la DiKKK Cheney's daughter.)
10 enjoy taking the trash out. (There are 73 of us to clean up after, and a lot of empties. See "Breweries" above.).
1 enjoys mowing the lawn.
All of them enjoy watching football (And don't talk during the game.)
No female synchronization, if you know what I mean.


I wouldn't mind 24 Janet Reno's, 24 Helen Thomas's, and 24 Madeline Albrights...


I just had a horrible flashback to the I-Mudd Star Trek episode.


Those womyn were Beautiful! Neocon-Pinccher!! Boy, would I like to get in on some of that action!!!


Here's a better picture of that sweet bombshell...

The Exorcist

"Michael Jackson is converting to Islam, provided he can have his koran amended to 72 little boys."--Arbiter

Actually, that's 70 little boys, 1 elephant man and 1 rat....or was Ben a gerbil?

Well, gray rodent, spotted rodent, whatever. You get the idea.

And, for any of you who somehow haven't gotten around to trying it yet, I'm here to tell you; if you're looking for a great time, just give a great big rat some Jesus-juice and LET'S GET THE PAH-TEE STAH-TED!! Ooo-wah ooo-wah!

Plus, you don't have to worry about the rat turning into a ratting rat who rats you out to some Republican D.A. who's got a hard-on for registered sex-offenders, bleach-blonde-skinned fading pop singers or other Democrats.


The Muslim freedom fighters burned cars in Phrance? AmeriKKKa most definitely must surrender, redeploy from Iraq.


Ted Nugent is a pithy and earthy fellow, too bad its all wasted on that reich-wing KKKnuckledragging neanderthal.

And speaking of the Phrench, didn't they pioneer the new martial arts submission hold where when confronted with an enemy they bent over and grab their ankles? It does sound kind of Phrench, doesn't it?

Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Hunter

Oh why don't you snivelling weasels go
toss some midgets
or do something useful!


I injured 30 mean, vertically challenged folks!

I feel bad. You have ruined my evening.



We're not all snivelling weasels. Not all the time at least. I'm what you could think of as a "fair weather patriot". I wave the flag and support our troops when they give me a quick, overwhelming victory over a Carribean superpower or give aid shipments to third world despots. I support our bloodthirsty, baby killing, inner-city minorities like Bubblehead as long as they're not being shot at. As soon as we have casualties, though, I shout "quagmire!" and jump ship.

It's called keeping your options open, man. I want to be able to stand with whoever wins and say I supported them all along.

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