Rich White Male Kills 26 Japanese Tourists

Above all else, a university must be a sanctuary of compassion and tolerance; a place where the free exchange of ideas can flourish without being clouded by right-wing dogma disguised as logic and reason. Occasionally, however, the walls of the Ivory Tower are breeched by those who would seek to poison the minds of our youth with their jingoist, pro-war propaganda. When a member of a University of Washington campus hate group proposed the erection of a monument in honor of famous mass-murderer and UW alumnus Gregory “Pappy” Boyington, it was only through the courageous resistance of a handful of progressive student senators that his twisted plan didn’t succeed.

Col. Gregory “Pappy” Boyington was a disturbed young aeronautical engineering student who gave up a promising career marching the Boeing picket lines to shoot down 26 Japanese sightseeing planes over the Pacific, killing everyone on board and traumatizing a plethora of innocent marine life when the crippled aircraft hit the water. It was a matter of great embarrassment to the University at the time, and remains so to this day. Yet Boyington was not only decorated by the U.S. government for his brutal acts of aggression, his three-year reign of terror was also immortalized in the offensively titled TV series, Baa Baa Black Sheep. Boyington never served a day in prison, nor did he ever write a children’s book redeeming himself for his crimes. Instead, he made millions hawking Eveready batteries and writing recruitment propaganda for the military-industrial complex, inspiring future generations of innocent children to follow in his bloody footsteps.

For anyone to suggest that this butcher be given a place of honor at an institute of higher learning is enough to try the temper of even the most emasculated young progressive. UW has been the target of hate-spewing neocons like Andrew Everett before, and the student senate was wary of rejecting his demented idea outright lest they turn one little fascist’s folly into an organized right-wing crusade. Best to bury his obscene proposal in paperwork or snuff it out with rapid-fire motions to conclude, and then never discuss the matter again.

But this Nazi simply wouldn’t take "no" for an answer. Without provocation nor any regards to the feelings of others in the room, Everett insisted that Boyington’s achievements “warranted recognition” and that he had “many of the qualities the University of Washington hoped to produce in its students.”

Once the wailing and gnashing of defiantly unbrushed liberal teeth began to subside, a voice of reason pierced through the fog of Everett’s lies.

“I don’t believe a member of the Marine Corps is an example of the sort of person UW wants to produce,” said student senator Jill Edwards, a UW senior in her final stages of gender reassignment. Her brand new labia were just starting to scab over and she had no patience to entertain the psychotic ramblings of right-wing weirdos.

“We don’t need to honor any more rich white males,” Ashley Miller agreed. Least of all, a rich white male that never killed any cops. Besides, wasn’t the entire school named after a rich white male? Where do you draw the line?

Ever the diplomat, Senator Karl Smith assured Everett that he had no problem honoring Boyington’s service, as long as there was no mention of it on the actual statue. The council agreed that they should avoid acknowledging any of the negative aspects of the war, such as the men who fought it, the weapons they used, the leaders they followed, or anything else that might have contributed to the misfortunate U.S. victory.

After fourteen motions to scrap the resolution were seconded and subsequently objected, then resubmitted and seconded again, the senate agreed that there simply wasn’t enough money, time, nor room to honor this Popeye character with a monument, what with the Tunnel of Oppression, the GLBTPC Drag Show, and the campus go-kart races this weekend. Pappy Boyington’s Memorial of Hate was scrapped, and rightfully so. Thanks to the courage and compassion of future progressive leaders of America, The Ivory Tower was once again saved from the wrecking ball of right-wing ignorance.

Good job, Ashley, Tyler, Jill and everyone else in the UW student senate who stood up against the twisted machinations of rich white males! I am sure your rich white fathers, not to mention your history professors, are very proud.

Comments

[Dork]

Pappy Boyington: Fighter pilot, Sioux Indian, Medal Of Honor winner, POW and "Black Sheep" AND RICH WHITE MALE!

[WASP_guilt]

“We don’t need to honor any more rich white males,”

Well, to be fair, Greg Boyington was usually loaded…

While I am sure some of the rabid neo-con fascists out there reeeeeeeally blew their cork when they read this and thought something like: “these ignorant, petulant, overindulged little bastards should be forced to live the rest of their lives attached to an ass-kicking machine!” I for one think that a fitting reward for these courageous and well-informed youths should be that they get to live in a more tolerant, progressive society where they don’t need arms for anything other then hugging. A place where the total effect of their glorious ideology can be visited upon them, daily, without “warmongering, murdering, white” and above all “rich” males like Gregory Boyington lifting a finger on their behalf. I hope those brave little souls can find their utopia. If there is anything I can do to help them get there I will be more then happy to help.

rich

white

man

[Moonchild]

Given the tragic overfunding of the Military-Industrial complex, I believe this 'Boyington' has taken quite enough from this country. With the typical military recruit's plush lifestyle, luxurious war machines, and easy living in exotic tropical locales, the IRS should be looking for a way to calculate the imputed income of such finery and tax those benefits to recoup the nation's outlay of cash. Instead, wingnuts wishing to pilfer more funds from the public till attempt to take even more to 'honor' these murdering embezzlers.

As long as the NEA is forced to scrimp by with a paltry $140,000,000 for gauze soaked in pig offal and monkey blood, I ask these military 'heroes' to give something back and for once, help protect our nation's future.

[Bush4Ever]

Shot from the bright skies
Laid to a violent rest
By A Rich White Male

Now THAT'S Haiku!!

[libmeister]

Not everyone knows that the Japanese were also freedom fighters.

In light of this fact we must surrender in Iraq and keep speaking truth to power.

I see Dick Cheney is getting his start on killing millionaires. Maybe he's one of us after all.

[libmeister]

BTW, Lar, I liked Robert Conrad far better as an Indian murdering, secret agent gunslinger in Wild, Wild West than I did as the Niponese murdering Army Air Force pilot in Baa, Baa Blacksheep.

Not to mention those Curtiss P-40 aircraft he flew as Boyington were far more polluting and threatening to Mother Nature than the cool train that Mr. West and Artemus Gordon traveled on. And the women!!!! Oy vey!

[Che]

Oh let's not start the Haiku wars again. Too much blood has been spilled already.

Pappy Boyington
Rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat
Slaughtering non-whites

Eagle, Globe, Anchor
Not Good U-Dub Alumni
We Lose Apple Cups

Those Who Know About
The Halls of Montezuma
Need Not Apply Here.

[TLA]

Honestly, I usually laugh at your stories, Larry, but this one really made me ill. Al joking aside, how disgusting has our univeristy system really become??

Oh well, at leats we still have The Olympic Games to keep us in a midframe of international peace and cooperation.

[Che]

Knowing that I'm not
Honored Or Deeply Admired
Harshes My Mellow

[Arbiter]

Don't they have enough granite marble for a REAL statue!?

I'm talking about Michael Moore! I can donate some donkey dung from my farm for his wonderfully portly belly. Does anyone else have anything to contribute to this true hero?

[Che]

Brave Social Conscience
"The Few, The Proud" How Uncouth!
Speak Truth to Power

[Menstrual Rainbow]

In keeping with Che's idea of Haiku based protest-

White Man Baby Killer
Riding On Steel Bird Of Death
Is No Progressive.

College Alumni
Are As Brave As George Clooney
Or Even Sean Penn

Bushitlerburton
They Kill Those Who Are Yellow
So They Love Pappy

US Agression
So Tora Tora Tora
It Was All Our Fault

First Hiroshima
Then The Town Nagasaki
Now Pappy As Well

[Menstrual Rainbow]

The Chimperor Bush
Invaded Afghanistan
To Steal All The Oil

Menstrual Rainbow
Likes Writing Haikus But Is
Not Very Good, er

[Che]

in keeping with Che's idea of Haiku based protest-

Bush4ever did
Open This Pandora's Box
I tried to stop hym

[dave]

I'm shaking my head so hard that my tinfoil hat just came off!

Need I remind everyone that Bu$sh 41 was also a war criminal in ww 2.( do you see this coming together) He and that boyington "man" killed many peacefull japanese people. I remember in my first collage class on history I was told that japan was pushed into war by ameriKKKa. we picked the war with them. they had no choice but to fight.

Japan was wanting to end the war we started on dec,8 1941. But a few days later, we just up and dropped a atomic bomb on them for no reason. FDR/Truman, being dems, did not want to do it but the military did it anyway.

I'm glad that I went to school to get the true history of ameriKKKa!

[OmarTheTentMaker]

A 78-year-old hunting companion of Vice President Dick Cheney was recovering in stable condition Monday after Cheney accidentally shot him during a weekend quail hunting trip, a hospital official said.
Even EichmanCheney is involved.

[libmeister]

And Germany never bombed Pearl Harbor, so what was FDR thinking getting us into that illegal and immoral war? And just because innocent Japanese freedom fighters misread their training maps on December 7, 1941 and accidentally bombed evil American battleships that AmeriKKKa was hiding there for a sneak attack on Japan is certainly no reason for war! If Neville Chamberlain were alive today I'm confident that's exactly what he would have said, too.

[libmeister]

I had some smart-arsed reich-wing Rethuglikkkan ask me if I had to choose between going hunting with Dick Cheney or riding in a car over a bridge at night with Ted Kennedy, which one would I choose.

What an idiot. Of course I'd take that ride with the groovy Ted Kennedy because at least if we were in an accident I'd be dead and would no longer have to suffer under the fascism of Bu$Hitler's Fourth Reich! Besides, I'm sure Teddy would make sure I'm pretty lubed up on some of his daddy's bootleg alcohol so that I wouldn't feel a thing. That's how compassionate that progressyve Democrat is compared to the dork Cheney who probably didn't offer his victim anything but some bandaids and a trip to the nearest death camp infirmary.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

{Bush4ever did
Open This Pandora's Box
I tried to stop hym}

It Seems You Are Right
I Was Fake But Accurate
It was Dumbya's Fault

[Menstrual Rainbow]

{ Cheney accidentally shot him during a weekend quail hunting trip}

So now Cheney is even trying to kill other former Repug vice-presidents! Run Dan Run.

[Che]

No need to restrict our creative talent to Haikus.

There once was a Grrrrrl from U-Dub,
With a loathing for vets and the Shrub,
She often would grin,
While bobbing her chin,
For Jarheads outside the pub.

[dave]

I heard on DU(I know, what of bunch of rethug sellouts) that the guy that Cheney tried to kill went to a hospital but it was closed due to all the tax cuts for the rich!

I'm smelling somthing.......mmmmmmmmm let's see....smells like Nov 23 1963. when bu$h 41 killed JFK!

[Bush4Ever]

"Bush4ever did
Open This Pandora's Box
I tried to stop hym"

I thought it a fitting way to pay tribute to the Japanese Freedom Fighters who were killed by Rich White AmeriKKKan Males during WWII, the War The Spawned The Bu$Hitler Dynasty. If not for the Rich White Males who, like the rabid dogs they are, chased down these quaint, quiet, peace-loving, origami artists, sushi chefs and tea makers and slaughtered them mercilessly, the world would be a much better place. Think about this: Are there any pictures anywhere that actually show the pilots of those supposed Japanese planes that attacked Pearl Harbor were being flown by Japanese persyns? Huh?

[RoCkY mTn. Lioness]

"Does anyone else have anything to contribute to this true hero?"

Sure, Arbiter....I have something. Since there's a mutual love shared between Michael and the Phrench--How 'bout something along the order of"Eau de Kitty Loo"..??

Also, so we can hold his attention for 15 minutes-- a bushel basket of deep fried Twinkies™ & deep fried Snickers™. Of course Monsieur..err...Mansewer??.... Moooooore might appreciate some deep fried sneakers, too.

I'm sure this champion of "Truthier Truth" has his anti-capitalism cameras already rolling for a suckumentar..err..documentary on this "Pappy" murdermonger.

[Neocon-pincher]

Peaceful pilot's tears
Blown to pieces by Pappy
I smoke the blond hash

(I'm sorry, it is impossible to resist joining in. I feel as if I've been hypnotized by Bu$hitler and the ReTHUGliKKKans)