Revealed: Bush Kidnapping Iraqi Womyn

It sure was a busy weekend for the Shrub. First an Egyptian ferry sank in the Red Sea, drowning all 27,000 passengers. Not surprising when you consider that Dumbya’s exorbitant new budget calls for over $900 trillion in tax cuts for the rich, yet not a single dime for improving safety conditions on Egyptian passenger ferries. Meanwhile, the Muslim World exploded with perfectly understandable rage over a series of crude and offensive cartoons that Bush submitted to a Danish newspaper. And Goddess only knows what dirt the Chimp had on the Superdome officials to make them completely ignore the 75 homeruns the Seattle Seahawks made right under their very noses. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was responsible for the drunken, face-painted barbarians who pulled down my pants and pushed me into the womyn’s restroom at the sports bar, too.

However, the Chimp’s weekend crime spree just wouldn’t be complete without a new atrocity in Iraq. As usual, this one went completely unnoticed by the right-wing controlled media. According to recently released military documents, U.S. occupying forces in Iraq have been illegally detaining the wives of Iraqi freedom fighters without an arrest warrant or benefit of legal counsel. A note is often left on the door of the family residence telling the husband to “come get your woman!” He is then forced to take time out from his busy schedule of blowing up humvees and sawing the heads off of infidels to come down to Army headquarters and retrieve his wife, only to find out it was all a trick. The next thing he knows, he’s strapped to a chair at Abu Ghraib and being forced to peruse this year’s Hooter’s calendar. How this serves our ultimate goal to win the “hearts and minds” of the ACLU is beyond me.

The Muslim culture places great value on their womyn – about a buck ninety-five on today’s market. While Muslim men work hard to provide for their families, the wife remains dutifully at home to care for their children, bringing them up healthy and strong so they explode with greater force and spread nails over a wider area. Muslim wives also assist in their husband's daily exercise regimen by serving as human punching bags in the event that there isn’t a Jew available. Such marital love and devotion is rare in this day and age.

So you see, the notion that Muslim womyn are treated worse than dogs is simply a Western myth. Indeed, as long as they keep their yaps shut and don’t get out of line, Muslim women are treated at least as good as dogs, if not better. For Bush to use the wives of Iraqi freedom fighters as bait to capture their devoted husbands goes beyond the pale, and is considered a graver insult than being saved from shark-infested waters by a Jew.

No wonder, then, that the Shrub attempted to send the Israeli Navy into the Red Sea to pull survivors out of the water - unusually icy for this time of year thanks to his refusal to ratify Kyoto - knowing full well that the Egyptians would prefer to drown.

Their blood is on his hands.

Comments

[libmeister]

Some more bloated corpses we can lay at the feet of Bu$Haitan. It's a wonder KKKarl Rove didn't also conjure up another tsunami with his weather machine to drown those who survived the sinking ferry. WE MUST CONTINUE SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER!

[Dork]

I had particularly bad gas this weekend too. I think the Shrub secretly slipped some meat-product into my diet, which normally consists of ashes and rocks. Damn that Bush!

[Fist of Etiquette]

So that was Bush that drew the cartoon of Calvin relieving himself on Islam? Well, I guess I have to put the old mud flaps back on my truck.

[camojack]

"The Muslim culture places great value on their womyn – about a buck ninety-five on today’s market."

If I give 'em $10, can I get a ½ dozen?
(Volume discount, of course...)

[brainsample]

Q: What do you tell a Moslem woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing. Being told twice already should be enough.

[John98]

Damn the $hrub and that evil progressive-hating KKKarl Rove. Only because the Chimp refused to sign Kyoto did the ferry sink. It's all part of the RethugliKKKan's twisted plot to use global warming to kill off Islamic freedom fighters!

BTW: Larry... Can you please update the link to Holstein Grove? The new address is "www.wisgrove.com". Thanks a million!

[Kiki B.]

"I wouldn’t be surprised if he was responsible for the drunken, face-painted barbarians who pulled down my pants and pushed me into the womyn’s restroom at the sports bar, too"

Larry, these are simply our fellow Lyberal, I mean Progressyve brethren...sistern...itern...Oh for crying out loud, they're the transgendered. I don't know what you can do. I know you're Progressyve and all, but I think the fact that they're transgendered, and not just dating one trumps you. I wish I could feel sorry for you, but being the proper Progressyve I am, I just can't take sides in this.

However, I will ululate in sympathy with my worthless, I mean worthy Muslim sisters who are being used to entrap their men, so that Monkey Man may force them to ogle scantily clad women in magazines. I must say, though, I am getting pretty sick and tired of my neighbors throwing bricks in the window whenever I must ululate at the injustice being forced upon the religious, freedom loving muslim peoples. I believe I still have freedom of expression in this country. And I can pray to the East and stick my butt up in the air as many times a day as I want. I don't care if the enormity of it eclipses the sun. Turn on a lamp!

[Al RawArabBalls]

"...the wife remains dutifully at home to care for their children, bringing them up healthy and strong so they explode with greater force and spread nails over a wider area..." -Liberal Larry

I am very sadden by the lack of responsibility Bush refuses to absorb.

If he did not steal the election, Al Gore would been Presidency and could have handled these balls much better.

Worse yet, my new goat, from Down Under is so tight I have to use a shoe horn to get it in (before the infamous Bush Fat Walrus was decreed).

Now, the prickly goat hair are the most painful to the Faithful and other new goat owners. Were are the believers who shave the goat's bottom gone? Quality is just not what it used to be! --Al RawArabBalls.

[Bush4Ever]

Well, my fellow free-thynkyng Lyberals, I mean, Progressyves, what did you expect? Look how he treats the First Stepford W...First Lady, Laura Bu$Hitler. Instead of keeping her make-up fresh and wearing nice clothes in public she should be allowed to, well, be herself. Lookie here:
Lyberal Womyn vs Re-Thug-li-KKKan FemBots

Notice how natural and free to express themselves our womyn, who are on the top, appear. Our womyn like being on top, especially when it comes to being with other womyn. Now...check out the Re-Thug dogs. Quit snickering. I know. Phony faces, plastic smiles. What else did you expect?

[libmeister]

brainsample, I think your post was gauche and ill-informed. It is a well-known fact that real Muslim freedom fighters know how to beat their women without leaving marks. Quit applying the stereotypes of white trailer park trash to the infinitely superior Muslim male!

[OmarTheTentMaker]

Q: What do you tell a Moslem woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing. Being told twice already should be enough.

Brainsample, that was great...a better choice is a garden hose...hurts like hell and doesn't leave a mark. All my Bedoin women have visited Abdul da Garden Hose. Bush sank that ferry!!!

[Menstrual Rainbow]

I was appalled at the islamophobic bigotry of the Danish cartoons. As I said to my friend on the Muslims Against Stereotyping Terrorists Under Bush's Anti Terrorist Engagement Rules (MASTURBATERS), Mustapha Jihad, freedom of speech is about having the right to sell hard core porn at a school bake sale, not expressing political opinions in newspapers! Mustapha agreed saying that there was nothing he hated more than this crude racial predjudice, except perhaps Jews.

Anyway MASTURBATERS will be taking this in hand and moving vigorously to produce a result.

[dave]

Being a progressive, I live on a higher moral plane than most. All I have seen on the right-wing media ( ccn, msnbc,cbs,abc nbc) is all of the fake rioting going on in the middle east. this is not more than a plot to get bushitlerhaliburton a reson to drop naplam on more arab kids. Don't fall for it ameriKKKa!

Just think if Clinton was our leader. He would have called a press confernce, looked into the camera and bit his lip....and asked for forgivness.
and then called for higher taxes on the rich to help pay for safer ships. Now that's leadership!

[aelfheld]

I'm amazed that so many of the 'freedom fighters' retrieve their 'wives'. Are livestock auctions that rare in Iraq?

[RoCkY mTn. Lioness]

After reading Lar's post, I was thinkin...err....feeling:"Isn't the shining example of tolerance, compassion, inclusiveness, et al., by we progressyves a beautiful thing?"......

Liberal Larry has completely plagarized from the Dem Underground and not even Dumbyas jackbooted gestapo can get the DUnderheads to lodge a complaint or a lawsuit against the Professym!!!!. It just brings a tear to my eyes. KUMBAYAH, BABY!!

Of all the things there are to loathe about KKKonservatives and Rethugs, what I despise most is their intolerance & hatefulness!

[stoorat]

Careful, Lar, careful. It's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out. And you start making jokes about how the 'Hawks were robbed, yes, robbed of their Superbowl victory, I'll do the poking myself, progressyve sensibilities be damned.

Actually, it all makes sense now--Bush stole the election, it only makes sense that he'd arrange for Pittsville to steal the Superbowl. :P

[Neocon-pincher]

That one call on the one-yard line near the batter's box: If you look closely, that was Bushitler in the striped shirt.

[RoCkY mTn. Lioness]

Hello!?!?!---sPittsburgh STEALers! No doubt Shrubyas team!!! I'd like to see the size of the checks he gave those RefeREETHUGlikkkans!!

As long as he's PeeResident (and he'll prolly steal a 3rd TERrorM), the Seahawks don't stand a chance to win the Stanley Cup ring and green jacket!!

[PTPFP]

Last night, as I was changing the bong water, I had a Thought. Those of us who are not progressyves, such as the Rethugs and Neo-cons should be called what they truly are: Oppressyves.

There.

[Talking Toaster]

Let's connect the dots shall we?

"First an Egyptian ferry sank in the Red Sea..." - Larry

That was child's play for Bush and his diabolical minions.

Bush simply sent out an advertisement saying: "One free goat for each man who buys a boat ticket." Bingo! Muslims jump at the bait. The ship was over loaded and scuttled at the appointed time by one of Bush's moles (who is probably living in luxury in D.C. at this moment - right under Ted Kennedy's Jowls).

"...Goddess only knows what dirt the Chimp had on the Superdome officials to make them completely ignore the 75 homeruns the Seattle Seahawks made right under their very noses..." -Larry

This goes back to the Rovian Mind Rays and the separation of Sports and Government written in our constitution.

It's well known that KKKarl Rove controls the ignorant Amerikkkan Sheeple with his mind rays. Bush clever halted all shipments of aluminum foil to Seattle thereby denying the people the needed tin foil helmets at a critical time.

Then Bush's Big Government Lawyer's like Alito, simple changed the rules of the game. With a stroke of pen Bush outlawed home runs in football!

Per The Plan, Seattle and it's progressive citizens were dealt a loss, humiliated, fleeced at the concession stands and then bussed home in a permanent catatonic state of shock. Worse, this gross Violation of Civil Rights was a double whammy to progressyvs like Harry Belafonte who is still morning over loss of his best friends wife. It will be a miracle if he even makes to the voting booth in this election.

Just toookie some pot and connect the dots - it is big plot.

[Bush4Ever]

"...Rethugs and Neo-cons should be called what they truly are: Oppressyves."

I thynk that that's a harsh word to use against KKKulture of KKKorruption KKKonservative KKKhristians who worship at the knees of the Re-Thug-li-KKKan HierarKKKy of Der ChimpenReichsFuhrer. Did I mention that they steal social security checks from the elderly, they kill puppies and kitties, and they drop large plastic bags among herds of dolphyns?

[libmeister]

Bush$Ever,

Don't forget the part about nuking the whales and starving school children whose parents have more important things to do with their money like buying their daily dope, cigarettes or betting on dog fights...like my next door neighbor used to do until his wife kicked him out of the house. That's what a shortage of tinfoil (not that damn cheap Alcoa™ aluminum foil) will do to those struggling to make ends meet. Leave it to the Bu$Hitler/Halliburton/Cheney/RoveHimmler junta to keep the poor under their jackbooted shod feet in this manner by illegally and immorally controlling the tinfoil markets.

Did anyone see the wanderful performance of our first Black President, Bill Clinton (with the adoring Hillary at his side), at Coretta Scott King's funeral wake? I wish he had opined again about how socially aware he was as a small boy in Arkansas riding in the back of the bus with his fellow black brothryn and systyrn. That one always brings tears to my eyes.

[OmarTheTentMaker]

Bu$h4Ever-He also sank a ferry carrying 27,000 innocent suicide belt recruits. (In Shark Infested water)

[Kiki B.]

"Muslims Against Stereotyping Terrorists Under Bush's Anti Terrorist Engagement Rules (MASTURBATERS)"

Priceless, Perpetual Menstrual One, absolutely priceless. I bow in the presence of such great wit.

[Kiki B.]

Rocky Mtn., I just absolutely loved the Kumbayah. It will appease both the Progressyves and the RethugliKKKans.