Like "The Duke" before him, Arnold Schwarzenegger has become indistinguishable from the characters he plays in his movies. Instead of “terminating” every Sarah Connor in the phonebook, however, Ahhhnuld has taken it upon himself to snuff out beloved children’s book authors with cute, cuddly sounding nicknames. Anyone who has ever enjoyed a cookie knows that a man whose name rhymes with a sweet chocolaty treat doesn’t deserve to die, but time is running out for Tookie.
Stanley “Tookie” Williams made some mistakes in his youth, sure. Who hasn’t? Who amongst us can claim that they’ve never shot a man twice in the back for 120 bucks and laughed about it, even in a metaphorical sense? We all have blood on our hands, and none of us are innocent in this world. Not even the so-called Christians, who preach about casting stones and forgiveness, but are the first to cry “fry him!” whenever a fuzzy ol’ teddy bear brutally murders an entire family. Hypocrisy to the extreme. But while none of us are without sin, very few have redeemed themselves through a series of popular children’s books or a touching Hallmark Movie Presentation based on their life, starring that really nice gentleman who played Ray Charles.
The outpouring of grassroots Hollywood support is a further testament to Tookie's innocence. B.J. Hunnicutt wasn’t camped out at the state capitol the night they fried Ted Bundy. John William King, the white man who dragged James Byrd to death behind his pick-up truck, hasn’t received any conjugal visits from Danny Glover or Snoop Dogg. No, it takes a special kind of murderer to earn the respect and admiration of our most beloved entertainers, but that insensitive son of a Nazi in Sacramento doesn’t seem to give a damn.
Tookie certainly won’t be the first innocent man murdered by a Republican governor. Bush sent John Wayne Gacy to the gas chamber in complete disregard for all the pretty paintings he did of happy clowns while on death row. But if we as a society start executing people with cute and/or cuddly sounding nicknames, who will be next? Nipsey Russell? Soupy Sales? Captain Kangaroo, perhaps?
Boomer Esiason has nothing to worry about, though. After all, he's white, and Conan is huntin’ Negroes this holiday season!
Couldn't have said it any better myself, Larry. I just can't understand why folks like Gov. SchwarzeHimmler or pResident Bu$h want to snuff out our best, most sensitive and loving individuals. Tookie Williams gave a swift, painless Death with Dignity to at least four people, and the gang he co-founded has done the same for thousands more. The religious reich can't stand that. They're pulling the strings to get Tookie killed. As if the ethnic cleansing in New Orleans wasn't enough.
Posted by: Sen. Durbin | December 10, 2005 at 12:50 PM
Amen, Lar...metaphorically speaking, of course.
Posted by: libmeister | December 10, 2005 at 12:52 PM
Congratulations on your nomination for Shittiest Blogs of the Year 2005. I think you're a shoo-in. Good luck!
Posted by: phil | December 10, 2005 at 12:55 PM
"But if we as a society start executing people with cute and/or cuddly sounding nicknames, who will be next? Nipsey Russell? Soupy Sales? Captain Kangaroo, perhaps?"
Can't execute dead folks, y'know...
Posted by: camojack | December 10, 2005 at 01:47 PM
News flash! BusHitlerBurton has executed Eugene McCarthy and Richard Pryor! Usually, the seem come (go) in, "threes."
Who's next?
Posted by: JannyMae | December 10, 2005 at 02:22 PM
This is proof that Arnold SchwarenIllkillalltheniggers is a nazi. Nazi's kill people. ( now I will admit the nazis did do a number on the jew's but they asked for it)
before any of you rethugs Say I hate the jews I want to go on the record and say I like the jews that vote dem and are for giving back the land they stole from the peace love arabs with their dirty, jew hands....
Posted by: Dave | December 10, 2005 at 02:48 PM
Shamelessly cut and pasted from www.algorelabs.com is this piece from the Rev. Je$$e Ja@k$on for persyms who care about the fate of Tookie:
"Good evening internet users and abusers. I'm here in a missionary position to urge you to write to your local U.N. Representative to try to get Stanley "Tookie" Williams released from San Quentin State Prison's death row. Tookie is no monster. Cookie is a monster. Mookie is a monster. But not Tookie, No Siree. With my fellow campaigner, Bianca "Kookie" Jagger, I trying to get Tookie released, not fleeced or deceased. He's being persecuted, electrocuted, and executed, just because he was a founder, left to flounder, of the Crypts street gang bang. I am this Crypt's keeper, and he just had bad lawyers, like Tom Sawyer, and Big Jim, sent down a river boat to hang, as he sang, Mr. Bojangles, isosceles triangles.
Peace,
Dr. Rev. Jesse Jackson, Sr., d.d.s."
Posted by: Truth to Power | December 10, 2005 at 03:55 PM
Larry we love you for your great writing style and you compassionate heart. By the way they are still chanting for you below. Do you hear what I hear??
LA-REE,LA-REE,LA-REE, I am not kidding you, that sound , the one typed above, the LA-REE,LA-REE,LA-REE, (there it is again!!) That is the sound, the one you don't hear, of BILLIONS of people who can not vote because they don't own computers, protesting the unfair and absolutely biased choices for this years corrupt weblog awards. The chanting and blood-letting has been going on for days. Larry, is there anything that you can say to quiet this fervor for YOU as, not only nominee but, WINNER of this years award. Oh, Larry. You really are the best.....
Posted by: jess1dering | December 10, 2005 at 05:06 PM
Lib Larry:
"Tookie...Tookie...lend me your gauge!
Tookie..Tookie."
(Showing my age a bit there, Chom-steen, but J.Edgar liked "77 Sunset Strip", and if the Director liked it, the smart G-man LOVED it.)
So, Schwarzenegger,(which means:"Black Plowman"), executed Richard Pryor,(which means:"Funny Burning Drug-Abusing Black Man").
Tookie ain't even funny..Tookie's dead meat.
Auf Wiedersehn, Tookie!
Regards;
Posted by: Bilgeman | December 10, 2005 at 05:24 PM
The Care Bear is even the right color. Nice touch.
I read Tookie's Nursery Raps to my daughter every night. My favorite is:
My Gat and my Glock,
Went 'round the block,
To rob a f*$#@ing cracker.
I blew out his guts,
Stole a hundred bucks,
And wrote a book to give back to the society that created me.
Oh, and the Care Bear is even flying the right colors. Nice touch.
Posted by: Che | December 10, 2005 at 05:53 PM
Crap. I really should preview.
Posted by: Che | December 10, 2005 at 05:54 PM
Hey, Lar, I'd take phil's posting as a backhanded compliment since he's obviously an expert in things "shitty". Personal experience and all that.
Posted by: libmeister | December 10, 2005 at 06:19 PM
Gee, Che, that truly is an inspirational children's rhyme. I guess Tookie comes from Ed Murphy's school of "Kill My Landlooord...C-I-L-L...Kill My Landlooord!"
Posted by: libmeister | December 10, 2005 at 06:26 PM
Stanley "Tookie" Williams made some mistakes in his youth, sure. Who hasn't? -- Liberal Larry
Yes, who has not blasted out the security camera and then blasted a honky lying on the floor for kicks and a $100 while in the company of his fellow Crips? Who has not blown the face off of three Chinese "Budda-Heads" for $69.00 with his gang? The boys need some fun now and then to keep them motivated. Although, vile it's certianly understandable.
Tragically, Bush's NaziTerminator is doing nothing to stop the Death with Dignity of a black man who has spent the last 20 years on death row plotting to kill prison guards while writing children's books (which may have been ghosted by his defense team).
Sure, it nice to know that the Termiantor is doing Bush's wishes. But, what about the Hollywood gang? Stanley "Cookies" Williams who founded the "Crips" gang will only get a shot of anesthesia then some potaiusm chloride for his endeavors. The Hollywood gang will only get the residuals.
Dam that Bush and his Terminator!
Posted by: Talking Toaster | December 10, 2005 at 06:38 PM
Crawl through his window late at night
See his guard dog
Do he bite?
Kill my lan-lord
Kill my lan-lord
C-I-L-L my lan-lord!"
by Tyrone Green played by Eddie Murphy
Posted by: libmeister | December 10, 2005 at 06:40 PM
"But if we as a society start executing people with cute and/or cuddly sounding nicknames, who will be next?"
Kiki B.
AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Posted by: Kiki B. | December 10, 2005 at 06:58 PM
So, then, B. J. Hunnicut is pro-life?
Posted by: Beth morphing into the Grinch | December 10, 2005 at 07:36 PM
Pro-life?
Hey whoa, whoa, whoa, whooooooooooa.
Whoa.
Let's not be twisting things around here. Beeg is pro innocent life. Like the Tookster.
Posted by: Fist of Etiquette | December 10, 2005 at 08:38 PM
The reich wing has unfortunately succeeded in twisting the definition of "right-to-life" so that it only applies to those who have yet to murder anyone in cold blood. This narrow, intolerant view has only recently been challenged by the courageous souls in Hollywood and MoveOn.org. Nice try, KKKons. You only have a right to life if you've denied someone else theirs.
Posted by: Sen. Durbin | December 10, 2005 at 09:39 PM
LAR-EEE, LAR-EEE, LAR-EEEE.....the people's choice for webaward.....LAR-EE...
Posted by: jess1dering | December 10, 2005 at 10:48 PM
Ahhnuld Schwarznegger, who like Hitler is from Austria, is murdering Mumia Al Tookie because he wants to steal his books to turn into his latest movies. Considering he is married into the Kennedy family he should know you don't have to kill to plagurise someone else's work.
Posted by: Menstrual Rainbow | December 11, 2005 at 03:26 AM
Dat muthafucka be fryin', and shit, holmes and Bush be having some blood on his hands. Word like a mah-fawkah!
Posted by: Tjinder | December 11, 2005 at 01:38 PM
One would think that a guilty murderer would at least know the names of his victims.
Kookie Roberts doesn`t.
Read down to the last question.
CLICK
Posted by: Joatmoaf | December 11, 2005 at 03:06 PM
Tookie's Jailhouse Conversion and subsequent authoring of children's books has helped and will help hundreds, if not thousands, of children become better citizens. Too bad he didn't accomplish the same thing with his own son.
'Tookie' Williams' Son Allegedly Rapes Girl At Gunpoint
FONTANA, Calif. -- Southern California law enforcement officers searched Tuesday for a 36-year-old rape suspect believed to be a son of Crips street gang co-founder Stanley "Tookie" Williams, who is awaiting execution.
Lafayette Jones, a registered sex offender who may be in the Los Angeles area, allegedly lured a 13-year-old girl into his car in northern Fontana on Saturday, promising to take her shopping at a mall, police said.
"He told her that he had just got paid and that he wanted to buy her some new shoes," the girl's mother, whose identity was concealed due to the nature of the crime, told NBC4. "And he said, I will have you back before your Mom gets home, and it will be a surprise. And she thought it was OK."
Police told NBC4 that Jones allegedly sexually assaulted the girl at gunpoint.
"After he got her into the car, he put a gun to her head and forced the victim to commit certain sexual acts upon him," Fontana police Sgt. William Megenney told the station.
Posted by: Bush4Ever | December 11, 2005 at 03:36 PM
Bush4Ever,
You know when a progressyve - particulary a progressyve black who is closer to primal earth/mother - "forces" himself/herself sexually upon another persyn, they are only doing so with the best intentions in mind. Also these highly enlightened individuals are merely following evolutionary pressures to spread their superior seed far and wide. The Victorain reich-wing society is just not ready to accept the following truth: Evolution made me do it!
Posted by: libmeister | December 11, 2005 at 03:53 PM