What's Bush's Angle?

Arsenic in the drinking water. The downing of a Chinese jet over international airspace. The 9/11 attacks. The outing of Valerie Plame. Abu Ghraib. AIDS. Slavery. Bad weather. Monicagate. Bitburg. The rise and fall of the tides. Throughout his entire peeResidency, Bush has refused to take responsibility for any of his crimes against humanity. Now, out of the clear blue, he suddenly offers up a half-assed mea culpa for his miniature version of the Holocaust? I'm not buying it. Who is he protecting? What's he trying to hide? What's his ANGLE?

I am reminded of an incident here at Seattle Hemp Products a year or so ago, when someone put a sheet of blotter acid into the coffee maker. There was an investigation, and the culprit turned out to be none other than my personal assistant, Achmed Jones. Achmed took "full responsibility" for his actions, offered a teary-eyed apology, and all was forgiven. Once all the vindictive, finger-pointing nastiness has been dispensed with, everyone had a good laugh over the whole affair - not to mention a fantastic light show complete with a dancing panda who claimed to be God. But when the technicolor squirrels finally vanished, so did Achmed - with about $50,000 earmarked for the Bong Hit Special Olympics.

The moral of the story is that often someone will accept responsibility for a lesser crime in order to dodge responsibility for a larger one. It's just fine and dandy that the Shrub nobly took the bullet for the Federal Response to Katrina, but let's not forget that he actually caused the hurricane to begin with. At the very least, he should be indicted for criminal manipulation of the weather and felony insensitivity.

The Shrub may certainly hope that we'll all "Move On" after his little performance yesterday. But only after he has been impeached and imprisoned can time begin to heal the tragically harshed mellows of the over 93 Downs Syndrome sufferers who won't be competing under the Giant Flaming Hooka in Berkeley this year.

Comments

[Bilgeman]

Larry:

You have no appreciation of the fine art of plumbing.

Do I HAVE to spell it out for you?

Bush was in Crawford, yes?

Crawford is upstream of a Mississippi tributary, see?

Mexican food was on the menu in Crawford one night, follow?

Katrina was a coincidence.

Chimpy Bushhitler is embarrassed and takes belated responsibility...hmmmm.

It's real simple, Lar:

Dubya flushed, New Orleans was crushed.

Chimpy pulled the chain, New Orleans felt the pain.

Bush made poo, New Orleans fulla goo.

Got it now?

Regards;

[Kaplah!]

What's his angle? I can't say for positive, but I can offer a few hypothoses:

1) His "apology" was actually a subversive message, propagandizing the American sheeple into believing that Federal Government cannot stop all bad things from happening, all the time.

2) He was taking the fall for Halliburton, whose hand in this illegal hurricane he had to protect at all costs.

3) He realized that he had achieved his lifelong dream of killing more black people than Hitler ever did and decided that it was time to cut his losses and run.

4) His evil plan to Turn Back the Clock with his Robert's nomination has met with so much success that the Shrub has finally gotten cocky enough to pretend to feel bad about killing everybody.

5) He did it just to piss off Democrats.

[mecca3048]

I figured it out:

Bush is simply following in the footsteps, as usual, of the greatest President to grace the cover of Hustler, oh, and the Oval Office: Bill "What's Your Sign?" Clinton!

Clearly, Bush finally realized the overwhelming forgiveness the American People gave to Bill "The Thong Song" Clinton when Clinton "confessed" to his "rendezvous" with a certain woman, who, for privacy's sake, we'll name Monica L. No, wait, that's too obvious, we'll call her M. Lewinsky.

You watch, Larry, George "Crazy Crawford" Bush only has the book deals and monogamous relationships Clinton now enjoys in his sights. Well, that might be true, but surely Hillary has more to say about "monogamy"....

Hail Mecca!

[Bubblehead]

I guess your joke about the "peeResidency" takes on a whole new significance now.

[Kaplah!]

Holy Crap!

I think I got it!

6) His "apology" was not so much an apology so much as it was an "implied threat."

Follow me on this: Bush says that he "takes responsibility" for the hurricane disaster. In other words, he is saying (without really saying it), "Yeah. I did it. I did it before, and I can do it again."

Watch for the Red Staters to cower in fear, once again, during the elections and vote in EVEN MORE Republicans in '06. Even though to do so would be to vote against their own economic interests!

With his so-called "acceptance of responsibility," Bush is REALLY sending the message that it is within the realm of his evil powers to deliver apocolyptic enviromental destruction to afflict ANY population centers that do not vote the way he wants them to.

I wouldn't be surprised if Hurricane Ophelia suddenly--and mysteriously--lifts up and travels across the Plain States, only to touch down in King County, WA for failing to make Dino Rossi Governor.

[camojack]

He did it for the sole purpose of messing with your mind...and, apparently, it worked.

He's an evil genius, remember?!

[libmeister]

Louis Farrakhan is an intellectual giant and the bravest colored/negro/Afro/black/African-American I know.

Now he is making himself a target of the CIA by citing an anonymous but "very reliable source" that the New Orlean levees were blown up by the Bu$Hitler Administration in order to "kill black people."

I just received my own evidence regarding what the Jew-loving Mr. Farrahkan is trying to warn Amerikkka about. A "very reliable source" was able to provide me a copy of this devastating memo straight from the desk of our racist Vice President, Dick Cheney.

The memo reads: "George, we gotta do something about the darkies in NO. They are sitting on prime real estate that Halliburton needs to expand its facilites. Can't we use SEALs to plant explosives under a levee or something? But disposal of 10,000 bloating corpses may be a problem too big for even Halliburton. Please advise. (signed) D. Cheney, Vice Warmonger"

The Bu$hitler/Halliburton/Cheney/RoveHimmler junta murders black people merely for profit!!!! At least the Jangaweed Muslims in the Sudan are doing it for some kind of worthy ideological cause. I'M OUTRAGED!

[Moonchild]

For all Bush's blubbering and hysterics about being 'sorry', I'm still waiting for him to go to the White House lawn, turn his back, strip his shirt, and flagellate himself for 48 continous hours. In penance for the non-crime of staining a dress with his precious seed, this is what Clinton did, and it propelled the country into unprecedented economic growth and spiritual reflection.

Bush, however, has neither the character nor the endurance. Instead, he's moved on to guiding Hurricane Ophelia along the East Coast as a warning to any more blacks who might get uppity.

[African Moonbat]

Bubblehead, I presume that Hallibuton has a waste disposal subsiduary, right? What will $hrubya not do to boost their profits.

[African Moonbat]

Bubblehead, I presume that Hallibuton has a waste disposal subsiduary, right? What will $hrubya not do to boost their profits.

[libmeister]

Larry, don't play stupid under the sink. You know what Bush's angle is. It's 90 degrees...he's a square, dude.

And Moonchild, I wonder if the reich-wing media is going to continue doing the bidding of Bu$Hitler as they hide the true number of those tens of thousands of black bloated corpses that hurricane Ophelia is creating this very moment? Even the damn hurricanes have gotten racist under this administration! Is there no justice?!

[Che]

Something doesn't add up with this whole "honesty" thing. I've learned to expect more from my leaders than to perform political sati for the good of the country. On the surface, Dumbya's hijacking of relief supplies and resources for his own personal use** seems diabolical enough. But what's his angle in actually admitting it?

He must be diverting our attention away from something even more diabolical. Something so heinous and contrived that even we, the most frail and sissy-like specimens of the animal kingdom/Queendom would shreik in horror? I'm all over this angle, like Oliver Willis on a bucket of Sam's Club nacho cheese sauce.

There's only one thing Bush could be trying to distract our attention away from.

** As a side note, I find it disgusting that William Jefferson, named after the country's first black president, is being accused of diverting humanitarian resources away from places they were actually needed, just because he stopped at his own house for a couple hours.

[Cr'Q'T]

libmeister,
Was that the same photocopied memo leaked by Sandy Burger after he had it in his underwear? The same one that you destroyed after you copied it down?

Not bad for a first attempt, but you are no Dan Rather.

[Che]

Damn that evil Shrub for breaking my HREF!

... for his own personal use** ...

[W Sent My MarshMellows To Iraq]

He must be diverting our attention away from something even more diabolical. Something so heinous and contrived that even we, the most frail and sissy-like specimens of the animal kingdom/Queendom would shreik in horror?

Not to put too fine a point on it.. DUH. Haven't you heard?

THE CAVALRY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED?

Sick and tired of FeDUHral inaction, Mother Sheehan is on the scene! I tell ya that lady is a freaking latter-day Robbin' Hood: stealing from the richest 1% to give to the poor! You go, Grrrrrrrl! Way to demonstrate those progressyve values!

I am just heading back now from our convoy into New Orleans today. Cindy Sheehan accompanied us on our trip and helped us deliver goods to Malik Rahim in Algiers.

Cindy was wonderful and made everyone who came in contact with here feel special. Algiers is a community that has been devastated... not by Katrina, but by the amount of neglect that the people there have received. Algiers used to be a community of 75,000 people just 2 weeks ago. Now it has only about 3,000 people left.

We unloaded about 9 cars of goods and are now on our way back to camp.

Cindy was writing a bunch of notes for her blog so check it out stay tuned for that.

As discussed elsewhere, Cindy Sheehan's compadres, the august Veterans For Peace, have been helping themselves to Red Cross food and other supplies.

So the supplies they brag about having delivered to former Black Panther and now Moslem radical, Malik Rahim, were almost certainly pilfered from the Red Cross.

http://www.sweetness-light.com/archive/cindy-gives-pilfered-red-cross-aid-to-moslem-radical/

[Wilderness Fox]

Does anyone not see that Bu$h, like BTK, is leaving clues for the reasons behind his madness?

Here's what I mean:

Katrina, starts with a 'K'.
Ophelia, starts with an 'O'.

Using my powers of Liberal Deduction, I have surmised that, like BTK, Bu$h is using anagrams to outline his motives. The letter 'K' in Katrina obviously stands for 'KILL.' The 'O' in Ophelia stands for 'OPPOSITION.'

KILL OPPOSITION! Bu$h must be wallowing in his arrogance at fooling us all, as we thought he merely concocted these storms to kill the blacks. However, he using these hurricanes he created to strike areas that have historically voted more toward Democrats than for the G.O.P.

Is it simply a coincidence that Katrina strikes one of the only Blue strongholds in the South? Now, Ophelia is, at this time, striking a pretty solid Red area, but this is part of Bu$h's evil genius-- he figures a few sacrificial lambs are good for the greater cause. Ophelia is, however, slowly trekking up the eastern seaboard-- historically a Blue area of the country.

And with just over a 1.5 months left in the hurricane season, I am afraid Bu$h is just getting warmed up...

[Dr. E. Scientist, phD]

Well, "W Sent my..." Ma Sheehan had to steal those supplies from the Red Cross. I mean, it would be insensitive to give supplies fro Red Crusaders to poor Muslims, without first stealing them and defacing the offending religious symbols.

[W Sent My MarshMellows To Iraq]

Actually that was insensitive of me. You're exactly right.

Ma Sheehan was just liberating those supplies from the oppressive symbolism of a fascist religion of hate and bringing them to the Light.

When you stop to think about it, it's just beautiful...

[Crouton]

By taking responsibility for the federal problems, he was artfully dodging responsibility for the more egregious local problems (i.e. hundreds of flooded school buses, keeping the Red Cross out of the Superdome, waiting 24 hours before accepting the federal relief offer, etc.). Basically, the same thing Achmed Jones did, but on a more diabolical level.

[Bu$hCausedMyGout]

So if he's "sorry" for New Orleans, then he'll probably take credit for people having an evacuation plan in the Outer Banks. Right?

[Friend of USA]

Has John Roberts any intention of using the courts to stop hurricanes?...

[W Sent My MarshMellows To Iraq]

Has John Roberts any intention of using the courts to stop hurricanes?...

The Constitution is silent on the matter, but if the RNC really cared about blacks, they'd discover a Penumbral right to be free of Natural Disasters somewhere in the Equal Protection Clause of 14th Amendment: this seems to follow quite naturally, since citizens of hurricane and earthquake prone states are not being "equally protected" against the weather and seismic events.

The Founding Fathers (a bunch of Rich White Guys, who sat around huffing cigars and trying to figure out whether blacks were 2/5 or 3/5 of a person) clearly failed to anticipate the consequences of just letting people "buy" land wherever the heck they wanted to.

Previous generations may have had to live with their inexcusable failure to build in equitable protections for the Common Man to ensure that in times of crisis everyone would get an equal chance to gorge themselves at the public trough.

But we know better now. We have the example of enlightened nations such as France - why not let their tremendously successful economic system light our way to a prosperous new Age?

[Libby Gone™]

Great work!
First time visitor, will be back!

[Jennifer Gallagher]

Looks like I can go back to doing my artsy fartsy Blog without worrying too much that liberals are getting a free pass. Nice job fellas keep up the prsessure. I'm a tired warrior after all the Clinton years and the all years before that when Dems controlled congress and wanted me to surrender our 2nd amendment for safety.Now I can get a much needed rest until Hilliary comes out of the box and then it's back to work.

[Brandon Sewall]

It's just fine and dandy that the Shrub nobly took the bullet for the Federal Response to Katrina, but let's not forget that he actually caused the hurricane to begin with. At the very least, he should be indicted for criminal manipulation of the weather and felony insensitivity.

Okay... First of all Bush is not some mutant X-Man who can control the weather any more than you having a penis bigger than 2 inches...

Second... It takes a whole lot more than the 5 years that Bush has been in office to affect global warming (if that is what you are implying...) So I think you need to take a closer look at your cigar sucking Clinton rather than Bush. Maybe if Clinton was not so busy playing around with his intern he could have started some great environmental reform.

Oh well... The Democrats loose again. You should be used to it by now.