New Bush Hurricane Targeting Gay Community

In the terrible aftermath of Hurricane KKKatrina, the nation watched with renewed horror - if not a certain sense of schadenfreude - as Hurricane Ophelia bore down on the white republican stronghold of Florida. Then she suddenly veered away, no doubt after a late night phone call from Brother Jeb to Brother Shrub, and made a beeline for North Carolina and its 1.5 million Blacks. Now, Bush's latest hurricane is targeting the Florida Keys, specifically Key West, admired for its vibrant gay community and vociferous opposition to George Bush.

Bush's infamous intolerance for diversity is about to claim its next round of victims. Even as New Orleans slowly recovers, Bush's "cleansing" of the Keys has already begun. The doors and windows on hundreds of gay discos have been boarded up. Thousands of frightened citizens have already pranced to higher ground, with thousands more certain to flounce, flit, or sashay away in the coming hours. Once the storm has passed and the giant cloud of purple feathers and dimpled chads has settled, Bush will be free to build his own Gulag Archipelago - a string of miniature Guantanamos where Muslim same-sex couples and flamboyantly gay freedom fighters will be held without due process.

Halliburton is probably drawing up the blueprints as I type.

Comments

[libmeister]

And before you know it there will be 10,000 bloated gay corpses found in bath houses all along the coastline. IS THERE NO JUSTICE? Who will stop Bu$Hitler's genocide against gay men? And whose next, lesbians, transgendered progressyves, and metrosexuals?

I'm running out of tinfoil, Larry, and the Raelians are trying to recruit me!

[Bubblehead]

All I know is, Adam West better keep his ass hidden for the next few days... who knows what Chimp is capable of.

[Joatmoaf]

I just declared War on the one-legged pseudo demi-god Huracan at 5:22 PM on my site today.
I`m tired of getting hit by hurricanes every month.

And another thing...Why does EVERYBODY in Key West have to be gay?
I don`t WANT to be gay.
I have no fasion sense. I can`t cut hair or cook a gormet meal.
Plus (you heard it here first) I`m coming out of the closet and admitting, I LIKE GURLS!!!

So I axe you, where`s your Progressive Diversity for me?

[Jeremy]

Instead of Kanye West saying Bush hates black people, why not have Andrew Sullivan get on live tellivison and say Bush hates fags.

[Jeremy]

Instead of Kanye West saying Bush hates black people, why not have Andrew Sullivan get on live tellivison and say Bush hates fags.

[Bush4Ever]

What is on Bu$Hitler's little pink iPod that he uses when he works out? Glad you asked: http://rateyourmusic.com/lists/list_view/list_id_is_23494

How do I know this? Well, when we work out together, he listens to the right channel and I listen to the left, using that same headsets. That way, we can stay really close in the gym. We switch the next day and then, after we're done with our workout, we sit in The Oscar Wilde Room in The White House and discuss the merits of each song while snacking on white grapes, green tea and bluberries.

[camojack]

"Thousands of frightened citizens have already pranced to higher ground, with thousands more certain to flounce, flit, or sashay away in the coming hours."

You left out "mince"...

[onlineanalyst]

"And before you know it there will be 10,000 bloated gay corpses found in bath houses all along the coastline."

This could create quite a toxic quagmire, given all of that global warming that already threatens Mother Gaia.

[Che]

I don't think the gay community is too worried about Ophelia causing the kind of damage that the illegal, immoral KKKatrina did to N.O. Apparently homosexuals have evolved with some sort of anti-drowning mechanism they use.

My friend Raphael invited me to the Keys a while ago for some skin diving. He told me, "Che, You have a fabulous time. Me and my friend Paulo (You love heem. He spectacular.), we make you watertight. And we have shreemps."

[Moonchild]

I declare victory. Examine this progression of attempted Genocide:

• 1945 - White President launches unprovoked nuclear strike on the 'slant-eyed devils'. Japan begins exporting electronics.
• 1964 - White Governor unleashes hounds and fire hoses on Malcom X. Blacks gain civil rights and Malcom X earns Nobel Peace Prize.
• 1981 - White President sends man infected with CIA 'HIV - Homo Internecion Virus' into San Francisco Bath House. And the Band Played On becomes greatest book/movie in the history of Western Civilization.
• 2005 - White President sends Hurricane after Key West then goes back to listening to Ru Paul and Little Richard on his Japanese-manufactured IPod.

Nothing these idiots do works. We've won. It's over.

[Cricket]

Bush hates figs? I knew he hated fruits, but just thought he was wearing his Pappy's genes on that one.

Joat, I am sure you will find someone in Key West to hug you and validate your coming out. Will you be having a coming out party to celebrate your alternate lifestyle?

I also read on Cass's site about the cruelty-free S&M gear. I know the Professym will want to take advantage of this for his class, so I am wondering if he will blog on it or take advantage of his teaching status to get the items wholesale for his students.
I am sure they will rejoice in knowing that while they are being beaten into ecstasy that no animal was harmed, and that alone will make their experience truly transcendant.

[Ux2]

"Thousands of frightened citizens have already pranced to higher ground,"

There is no higher ground in the keys, most of Florida is pretty flat, because there are no levees to blow up Bush seeks to take advantage of the no higher ground opportunity. The only escape route in the Keys is to the East, and Bush has the latest storm is moving east to west along the only escape route. Because he can't flood them, he is driving them into the ocean.

[Wilderness Fox]

I saw a billboard on a main drag in the Keys telling the citizens "We're prepared for the ultimate blowjob. Rita is coming- Are you ready?"

To the point and accurate, I'd say.

Rumor has it that after Bu$h's newest killer has unleashed its homophobic horror on the keys, it will turn toward the Texas coast, particularly the Houston/Galveston area. With such a high undocumented worker population, Bush will wiping out yet another large percentage of "undesirables."

This is becoming Kristallnacht on a larger and more violent scale, mein komrades.

[Joatmoaf]

"I am sure they will rejoice in knowing that while they are being beaten into ecstasy that no animal was harmed, and that alone will make their experience truly transcendant."

If they only knew about how Naugahyde is made and the torture that those poor Naugahydasauruses have to endure just to placate their guilty conciencees.

[Bush caused my coffee to be cold]

Can Haliburton use the same equipment to convert gays into car fuel as they use for blacks?

Will I know at the pump if I'm buying black unleaded or gay unleaded?

Is fuel made with gays compatible with synthetic engine oil?

And which one gets you the best mileage?

[Baron bleu-obscur]

Yuppy for Halliburton!
Now, there is another occasion to make good money with the bucks of the nation!

Dick Cheney will applaud!!!

[Martyr]

What I don't understand is, everyone knows that Bush is a moron barely able to dress himself in the morning, so how is he doing all of this? Is he an evil savant?

Is Rove really that good a puppetmaster? He can't even exact political revenge without clumsily causing the need for a perfectly serviceable secret agent lady to be publicly airlifted out from behindt the iron curtain, destroying years of spy work in the process.

Cheney can't even suppress First Amendment Rights within a zone as small as within earshot of his person. How on our dying Earth could he pull off something such as this?

Maybe we're all giving them just a tad too much credit.

Ponder, if you will, this analogy: Global Warming is a sledgehammer, the Bush Administration is Gallagher, and the gays and blacks just happen to be sitting in the first two rows.

[Confederate Nazi]

As a matter of record, Hurricane Ophelia was not targeted at the blacks of the North Carolina coast, but at cleansing our pristine shores of the slime of filthy socialist Canadians.

It worked.

[Wilderness Fox]

Maryr:

"Ponder, if you will, this analogy: Global Warming is a sledgehammer, the Bush Administration is Gallagher, and the gays and blacks just happen to be sitting in the first two rows."

True, but who is the watermelon?

(Oops, I'm discriminating against other fruits by limiting the choice to just one seed-bearing food. Damn Bush and his Thought Control Waves!!!)

[David Brock's Cabana Boy]

I saw a billboard on a main drag

What was her name? I use to do makeup for Sharyn Needles.

[Bush4Ever]

"Will I know at the pump if I'm buying black unleaded or gay unleaded?"

If it's gay unleaded, you will be able to tell when you first step on the gas pedal. You'll feel an absolutely fabulous burst speed.

[libmeister]

Hmmmm, I'm wondering how many gallons of unleaded gasoline can be distilled out of a bloated gay carcass. And I would expect it to be super unleaded instead of regular unleaded.

I hope I don't have to run fuel cleaner through my Prius™ hybrid to run on homo-gas like I had to do two weeks ago when Bu$Hitler's black crude distilled from those 10,000 bloated black carcasses found its way into Exxon's New Orleans pipeline.

I think a good synthetic fuel cleaner would work for homo-gas though I prefer the more conventional Lucas™ brand.

[David Brock's Cabana Boy]

Hmmmm, I'm wondering how many gallons of unleaded gasoline can be distilled out of a bloated gay carcass.

Very little, actually. Mostly they're used to produce lubricants.

[Wilderness Fox]

"I saw a billboard on a main drag

What was her name? I use to do makeup for Sharyn Needles."

HA! I didn't catch the pun. I believe her name was Barbara, but she went by Marylin Hungroe. I remember she had a knack for jazz fusion and Texas Hold'em.