Larry's Struggle

Anyone who has ever been treated differently because of their skin color, or because they weren't "chic" enough or tall enough, or whatever - knows the humiliation I felt yesterday as I was chased out of Frederick's of Hollywood by mall security. Unless I woke up in Bush's dream of a puritan state, "lurking" and "ogling" were not yet capital offenses. Frederick's may think they can get away with their fascist policy of hateful intolerance, but I'll be taking my business over to Victoria's Secret, where lurking and ogling is treated with resigned acceptance.

I encourage all my readers to do the same.

Comments

[Amber]

Stealing ideas from the Comments again?

[Pedro O'Fyall]

The same thing happened to me in Toy'R'Us. Like Scott Ritter I've been banned because of my politics. But I'm having the lat laugh, because with the help of NAMBLA and the ACLU, I'm going to sue their asses for so much that I can open my own toy shop.

[Son of the South ©]

Ogle on, brother!

[libmeister]

Larry, did you find anything that fit?

[Cricket]

He is shopping for the midgets.

[Friend of USA]

" ... I'll be taking my business over to Victoria's Secret."

Larry, if you're lucky you'll be there the same day Cass shops for fine twin support!

[al-Bundy Martyrs Brigade]

abu Larry,

I had the same problem when the Brigades found my DVDs of I Dream of Jeannie, which I was ...uh...studying, yes, that's it, to determine if Barbara ben-Eden's costume was Islamically correct - you know?

I met with stony stares...er...that is, I had a rocky time...uh...I told the Brigades to "Rock on!"...no, that's not right...well, I managed to weasel out of that one, based on some of the fine print in the shari'a. Phew!

I'm sticking to Animal Planet from now on, just like the others in the Brigades.

[aelfheld]

I think it was the mirrors on your Blackspot V2's.

[Che]

Good luck with that, dude. I'm trying my luck at Kiyona's. Big and tall women are probably more likely to be flattered than repulsed by my Christopher Walken-esque charms.

Gotta remember to buy bacon.

[Bush4Ever]

Fah shizzle mah nizzle, dem white boy Security Guards at fRednecks of Whore-lywood be gettin' obstreperous!!

And now, for a completely unbiased video about Selected President Smirky Chimp-Face Dumbya Bu$Hitler:

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2680444?refsite=7114&c=clod&cid=197&htv=12

[Friend of USA]

Only ten comments?

Let me stir the " pot ";

(New Scientist.com)

" AS POLICE and dope smokers know, there are two types of cannabis. Cannabis sativa sativa is mainly used to make hemp, while the indica subspecies is prized for its tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) content, which produces the "high". But now Australian researchers have discovered a third type of cannabis, called rasta.

Simon Gilmore of the Canberra Institute of Technology catagorised 196 sample plants according to the DNA in their mitochondria and chloroplasts. The samples included plants grown for drugs and hemp as well as wild varieties from Europe, Asia, Africa, Mexico and Jamaica.

The results showed three distinct "races" of cannabis. In central Asia the THC-rich indica predominated, while in western Europe sativa was more common. In India, south-east Asia, Africa, Mexico and Jamaica the rasta variant predominated. It looks similar to the sativa subspecies, but generally contains higher levels of THC.

Since the study was of DNA rather than a formal taxonomic study, Cannabis sativa rasta is not yet an official new subspecies: the name was the result of a competition in Gilmore's lab. Their work is expected to appear in the journal Forensic Science International later this year."

[Joatmoaf]

Dear Friend Of The U.S.A.,
Who needs cannabis when you can have LSD?
Especially if you`re In The Military?
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[Kaplah!]

Larry apparantly believes that Victoria's Secret is a bastion of inclusiveness and non-judgementalism.

I, on the other hand, know from personal experience that it IS possible for anyone to get banned from a Victoria's Secret if you are
"profiled" and match the two following criterion:

1) You are a 275 lb. male.

2) You are carrying an armload of size-4 lingerie as you approach a salesperson and ask where the fitting rooms are.

"Free country" my ass.

[camojack]

Are you sure you weren't jerking and ogling?
(Inquiring minds and all...)

[Moonchild]

Sell out much? What would Ms. Ashley 'Peaceblossom' Phelps say of your adoption of the patriachy-enforced standards of attractiveness? What would you say to the womyn who prefer to be lovely on the inside, instead of humiliating themselves in ridiculous costumes?

Those fascists thugs who rousted you from Frederick's did you a favor. They gave you time for reflection. Use it before you spend the rest of your life under the sink to repay the wrongs you're about to commit in Victoria's.

[Bush4Ever]

You all just wait until Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton rides her faux-husband's coattails into the Presidency in 2008. There'll be no more poor people, there'll be no more prejudice, AND there'll be no more hurricanes. That's because "hur" sounds too much like "her". She will issue an Executive Order renaming them "Storms of Non-Gender-Specific Identity". Then she'll issue an Executive Order declaring that William, Bill, Monica, Juanita, Paula, Eileen, Carolyn, Elizabeth, Sandra, Christy & Kathleen are no longer gender-specific names and can be used to name the storms that tear through people's lives threatening to wreck their well-laid plans to gain the ultimate power. More names will added to the list after Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton has certain University of Arkansas & Yale students from the early 70s as well as certain Arkansas State Troopers "debriefed" at a new Re-Education Facility she plans to construct in the woods at Ft Meade, MD.

[Mumblix Grumph]

You should do your ogling at The Macho Man like I do.

They LOVE it when you hang around and gawk. Some of the guys even asked if I wanted to go into the fitting rooms with them! The rooms were pretty small, but boy, that just proves how inviting and generous they are there! They kept saying that they wanted to "give it to me". I'm not quite sure what they wanted to give me, but they said it was something big!

Too bad those damn jack-booted thug police came in and arrested some of they guys. I mean, who cares if they were being generous and giving to young boys? I think it's a beautiful thing that someone is willing to mentor those kids.

By the way, what's a drag queen?

[Cricket]

When are we going to name a She Storm after Hillary?

[Cricket]

Larry, are you writing this from prison? I noted that your title was eerily like that of the grossly misunderstood progressyve, Adolf Hitler, Bush's mentor whom he channels regularly when he needs to take a potty break. You and Adolf hav so much in common...he was oogling Jewish stores, and you are oogling the goods in Vicotria's Secret. He issued a clarion call to the Party Faithful to rally to his cause as have you. He named his book "Mein Kamf" and you have named your post
'Larry's Struggle.' You were hauled off, Adolf was hauled off. Freaky.

[Cricket]

A drag queen is Larry dressed like Rosie O'Donnell while being hauled off by the Olympia PD for oogling scantily clad lingerie models.

[Whoa Totally Spaced There For A Sec]

Geez, haven't you people heard of binoculars? That's what I use. The last thing I want to be called is creepy.

By the way, that new form of cannabis isn't on the books as illegal yet here in the U.S., right? Is, like, anyone holding?

[Chris]

It's easy to get banned...just ask if the lingerie that's on sale comes in kids sizes! . .or so I've been told that you can get banned that way......I really don't know what your talking about...I don't think I like where this is going.....help HELP i'm being repressed!! - It's Bush's fault~!!!!

[Whoa Totally Spaced There For A Sec]

The reason I ask is cause Dub totally got into my stash last night and smoked it all and now I ain't got dick. Man, ever since he got religion and won't do blow, The Dubmeister won't keep his hands off my shit, no matter where I hide it.

I axed him why come he can do maryjane if he can't do coke. Apparently "Jesus is just alright with hash" and "a prez needz ta mellow" every now and then.

Whatever, man, that shit ain't cool.

[petethedon]

BREAKING NEWS: BUSH RESPONSIBLE FOR NEW BREACH IN NO LEVEE

[Georgia Home Boy]

In a similar fashion, I was thrown out of my local head shop for ogling the bongs and asking roughly how much weed each bowl would hold. It totally sucks 'cause now I gots ta use a Coke can like some highscrool twat. Oh, speaking of coke, did I mention that I'm banned from Colombia, too? Apparently it's legal only to smuggle stuff out, but the look on the custom official's face when he found an eightball in my suitcase coming into the country was worth the subsequent cavity search. Oh, dude, that reminds me, I'm got banned from the adult toystore the other day. What kinda story doesn't let you try stuff on--or in?