Katrina + Iraq + Tax Cuts = Turtle Creek

Conjuring up images of bodies falling from the Twin Towers while Bush read a book about a girl to a pet goat, an old and poorly maintained chainlink fence collapsed at a Turtle Creek, PA high school football game last weekend, sending hundreds of frightened students tumbling helplessly six feet to the grass. It was a scene eerily reminiscent of New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, with many lower income teens left to fend for themselves while their wealthier peers cackled meniacally from plush luxury suites.

Democrats have already dubbed the tragedy "Bush's Hillsborough" and are demanding an immediate congressional investigation, followed by a series of further congressional investigations until Bush is finally found at fault. But if anything, the gruesome events at Turtle Creek are a brutal reminder of the great divide between America's rich and poor, and how Bush's irresponsible policies are deepening that rift. While the wealthiest 1% enjoy their lavish tax cuts, many schools like Turtle Creek will continue to lie in disrepair, and thousands more will suffer unsightly bruises and severe grass stains. As Americans, perhaps we should ask ourselves if we can continue to fund the war in Iraq, rebuild New Orleans, clean up after Turtle Creek, AND selfishly cling to our paychecks while there are so many poor and homeless people on TV.

The time has come for Bush to show that he can be a leader and mend fences as effectively as he can tear them down. Will he finally take reponsibility for his crimes, withdrawl our troops from Iraq, repeal his tax cuts, legalize marijuana, sanction same-sex marriage, and resign in shame? Or will he try to place the blame on Pennsylvania's governor, as he has everything else? If Bush's cold detachment from the Turtle Creek Massacre is any indication, I hold out little hope for the young people of Pennsylvania - or, for that matter, the world.

Comments

[Walter Brown]

Bush should be flogged and kaned with a wet noodle for such incompetence!

[Sen. Durbin]

Great to see you back railing against the Chimp and his lethal inKKKompetence. Indeed, I do not believe that Mother Earth will be satisfied until Bu$h's tax KKKuts are repealed, and the national wealth is taken from the people and given back to the masses. Also, when will the Chimp let others have the same gay sexcapades that he has with Jeff Gannon? This kind of reich-wing hypocrisy makes Gaia angry enough to send hurricanes, so to truly protect our people, we must legalize gay marriage now.

[Zilla]

How can this...I mean, where can we...you mean to say... I..I just can't believe that...How could he just....Are you telling me...
Shit

[Sen. Durbin]

Oh, one more thing: I too agree that Shrubya should resign, if only because of the stunning revelation- in the National Enquirer no less- that he is drinking again. Now, America does still have some great moral figures in government, such as well-known teetotaler Ted Kennedy and war hero John Kerry, but for our "leader" to be such an obviously hedonistic frat boy will serve only to embarass us further in the snow-pure eyes of the International Community

[aelfheld]

[..] there are so many poor and homeless people on TV.

But, Dan Rather's not on TV anymore.

[sadlib]

Even if the President could come up with all that money needed to fix the fence in Turtle Creek - with the military tied up in Iraq,Afghanistan and Louisiana- you could be sure there will be no troops left to fix the fence! Forget about a congressional investigation. You know the Bushies will say there is no way they could have known the fence would break although I'm sure they were warned about it from the PA board of ed. Larry, I know your frustrated - but in 2008 Hillary will be President and I promise you there will never be another hurricane Katrina or Rita, or broken Turtle Creek Fence again.

[msheldon]

Glad to see ya back Lar! PLEASE tell me that you haven't overlooked the fakt that that fence was fine until Chimpy McBu$hitler failed to sign Kyoto. This is all just a neo-KKKon plot to use the sun to weaken chain-link fences at lower class schools just so he can give a no-bid KKKontract to DICK Cheney's Halliburton!!!!!!!!

[The off topic canadian guy]

And who will get the contract to rebuild the turtle creek fence?

Haliburton is not into fences, are they?

Talking about six foot fences, have you noticed that Cindy Sheehan is like seven feet tall?

After they put her down and she stood up, the two policemen besides her looked like little school boys.

Are we sure she's human?

[Damian G.]

DAMN THAT SHRUB AND HIS "WAR ON FENCES"!!!

[Zilla]

And why only chainlink fences? There are lots of types of fences. I think you know where this is goin'...

[Intellectual Conservative]

You've hit on a valid point there. That huge robot on The Day The Earth Stood Still vanished and Cindy Sheehan appeared .. wait .. even better .. from 'To Serve Man' .. A KANAMIT!!

Yes, one day all of us will be on the menu ..

[Amber]

"meniacally?" Bush got into your spell-checker again.

[camojack]

Good fences make good neighbors...so I guess collapsing fences make collapsing neighbors, huh?

[Moonchild]

Am I the only one who noticed the racial component? Lily-white children are teleported to medicial facilities for bruises while the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan tells of mortally wounded minorities in New Orleans facing Bush's whip, unless they dig mass graves caused by Haliburton-built levees.

[Weepy-Little-Boo-Hoo-Lyberal-I-Mean-Progressyve-Boy]

Ooooo, you Re-Thugg-li-KKKans make me so mad. If the Evil Sith Lord KKKarl Rove had not used his mind powers to put ChimpFace Smurky Dumbya Bu$Hitler in office, many lives would have been saved!! If Rove hadn't swayed the Glorious Lyberal, I mean, Progressyve Democrats to go with Gore in 2000, we could have had John Kerry on the ticket nad in the White House in 2000. John Kerry's a war hero. Instead of reading to children on 9/11/01, he would have had the Secret Service used the reverse-engineered aline technology from Area 51 to transport him directly to the WTC where, he would have not only caught each and every person who jumped to their deaths, he would have taken charge, like a true leader and had the building shored up with lumber and things of that nature. Those building wouldn't have fallen. Then, because he's a war hero, John Kerry would have transported to The Pentagon and caught the plane before it could strike the building, much like Magneto stopped the X-Men plane in X2. And he would have done the same for the plane in Pennsylvania.
Lives would have been saved because John Kerry is a war hero with 3 Purple Hearts that allowed him to leave VietNam before he had completed even 1/3 of his actual tour of duty.
As for these hurricanes, John Kerry, who is an actual war hero, would have flown into the heart of the storms and whisked everybody away to safety. He would have been helped by Senator Ted Kennedy who has excellent experience at fishing drowning people out of the water.
If only we had elected John Kerry, an actual war hero, as President in 2000.
It's important that we have people who have actually served in the military in the office of the President.
Woo-Woo!!! Hillary in 2008!!!!!

[libmeister]

What I want to know is how many dead bloated corpses of homosexuals are being ignored by this administration since Rita passed through.

BTW, my dad was one of those lucking white southern Democrats who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth (i.e. he had to work his butt off to get where he is today, middle class and retired). He said it was inspiring seeing how the illegal Mexicans were engaging in an entrepreneurial spirit by stripping stalled cars of their tires and removing air conditioning compressors after smashing the hoods open.

The cars weren't doing anyone good sitting on the side of the highways and I'm sure all those rich people had insurance anyway. Praise Gaia, everybody wins! Too bad the progressyve media already had too much on their plate blaming the Bu$Hitler administration for whatever went wrong post-Rita to have reported this righteous form of help-yourself capitalism.

[libmeister]

Sorry, that's "lucky" not "lucking"...damn that Shrubya. Seems like all our spellcheckers having been taken over by the Chimp.

[Che]

Granted, the Turtle Creek Mayor or the governor of Philadelphia could have ordered an evacuation of the bleachers, but FEMA should have known this disaster was coming, pre-staged rescuers, organized mission-essential training, and then deployed those resources before the disaster to prevent the tragic loss of balance.

Even as thousands of Pittsburg refugees cowered in long lines near the concession stands and port-a-potties; Even as early reports, made by people with limited knowlege and vivid imaginations, estimated 100,000 deaths, 10,000 rapes, and billions of dollars in damage; Even with all this news, Mikey Brown sat in the nation's capitol, ineffectual as an over-turned turtle, blathering some nonsense about local responsibility.

As with Katrina, only by throwing money at this tragedy can Bush's tragic incompetence be overlooked for a day or so. Shrubya's token offerring of $250 billion will start to bring comfort to the 500,000 residents of New Orleans, whatever comfort a half-million dollars apiece can bring. A similar token should be made to the people of Turtle Creek, but let's make it an even million apiece. We know how bad Dumbya is with math.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Good to see you back Larry. But I think you are wrong to blame Bush on this one, as it is quite clearly Ronald Reagan's fault- "Tear down this wall!", and sure enough within two decades this happened!

[dave]

bushit seems to get away with murder at every turn. I saw this and then I took the noose from around my neck, got down of the chair and emailed the fine folks at moveon.org about this latest bushit murder spree. when will it end?

I have info that the fencing was made in Israel!

good to have you back, speaking truth to power, lar!

[Georgia Home Boy]

Larry,

I think you have this one wrong. I think this is the work of progressives. Think about it: How long have we all suffered the oppression of a jock-worshipping society? Quite frankly, I have no sympathy for these drooling, red county suppliants of a phallocentric--albeit delightfully homoerotic--game of conquest. I applaud this act of subversion by our comrades-in-arms who rusted out the fence posts with old bong water and brown acid. Even better if the entire operation can be blamed on Bush.

[Abdul Al Zarpana Banana Popana]

Effendi Larry-

Greetings and apologies for contacting you in this the internet, but the infidel has given your servant the tomohawk enema to the jihadi in the last of the few day here in Iraq.

We are having some of the trouble recruiting here after the jihadi protest in the US of the last weekend. The new recruit they say, "if the martyrdom it will get me the 72 womens like the womens in the infidel capitol I must not blow up the joo school in the Baghdad."

Please to find out, can the jihadi march of the next time have the decent looking womens to help your humble servant in the recruiting the martyr for future, or at least the womens that it does not make the jihadi vomits? Also, could the jihadi marcher wear the blow up martyr belt of the next time? Hard it is to explain to the Syrian pig we recruit in these day why he should martyr when the jihadi in the infidel capitol won't even march with the blow up belt.

Also, the jihadi operation, it is running low on the money. Could effendi assist is helping to collect the many thousands of the US dollar for effort to kill the infidel in the holy land?

Allah be praised!

[al-Bundy Martyr Brigades]

Abu Larry,

The Brigades second our brother Abdul's incoherent plea about the women demonstrating for us in the infidel capitol.

First, while it was difficult to tell which were the women, there is no way there were 72 virgins in that crowd – maybe one or two at most. A proper suicide bombing in a public place requires the full whack of 72 virgins; for one or two, all you get is a jihadi breaking wind in an elevator just before reaching his stop and scurrying out as the doors close.

Second, if not virgins, could you at least find some better looking women for the next demonstration? Members of the Brigades are starting to watch Animal Planet a little too devotedly, if you know what I mean.

[Che]

Perhaps you should lower your standards. Follow the Prophet's example, for he happily married the wealthy widow Khadija.

If you read the fine print, it is written, "For any man who spills the blood of the child of a Joooo, or who sacrifices his life for jihad by killing peasants who are trying to rebuild their lives and mind their own business, or who blows up Bhuddist art that pre-dates me by 1000 years, or who performs any other great and heroic act in the name of Allah, so he shall receive in Paradise 72 virgins*, tickets to see the Dixie Chicks, and a free AOL CD."

*Offer subject to availability while supplies last. If insufficient number of virgins exist, a loaded widow may be substituted. Offer not valid in California, Tekrit, Occupied Palestine, or where prohibited by the divine law of the local Imam. No purchase necessary. For free official entry form, send SASE with 4 camels to "Honest Mohammed's Virgin Giveaway, 631 AD, Paradise" Please allow 4-6 eternities for delivery.

[Al Towelhead]

A thousand pardons Effendi Larry,

We look to you for guidance and bow to your posts. For the love if AllahGaia please to not bring up goats! Goats corrupt young male jihadi and cause terrible pain to young male jihadi phalanx and testicles. And, the mention of fences breaking causes young jihadi to burst into Egypt and then brings much oppression upon us.

Peace be on you O'blessed Larry and please drive infidel Satin Shrub from office!