Bush Urinating on Company Time

A new scandal is rocking the White House, one sure to leave a bright yellow stain on the peeResidency for years to come - and this time the digital brownshirts won't be able to spin it under the rug like they did with the Texas National Guard memos. According to newly released photographic evidence, Bush attempted to interrupt a UN Security Council meeting with a taxpayer-funded bathroom break.

It's bad enough that the Shrub vacations for 9 months out of the year, but does he have to urinate on my dime as well? Do the math, folks. Bush's salary is $400,000 a year, or 76 cents a minute. Let's say he takes six pee breaks a day at three minutes each - five minutes if he pees sitting down like Oliver Willis. Perhaps we should ask ourselves if we can really afford to continue the war in Iraq, AND pay Bush over $7,000 a year to use the loo.

Say what you will about Bill Clinton, but he never allowed his natural urges to interfere with his job. Al Gore hasn't had a bowel movement in over 17 years. Yet Bush apparently thinks he can piss away our hard earned money whenever nature calls.

Well, I say enough is enough. 3,000 American died because the Shrub was too busy reading about a pet goat to do his job. Another 10,000 have gone missing in New Orleans, most likely because Bush was taking a "bathroom break" when Mayor Nagin called begging for help. I stand with Senator Biden's call for an immediate congressional investigation into the Tinklegate scandal. Bush must be held accountable for his bodily functions, before any more innocent lives are lost.

Comments

[Jeremy]

At least we know that for Al Gore, everything DIDN"T come out all right.

[von]

Look, everyone knows when you break the seal, you just can't stop it. Since he starts drinking at noon, he probably just couldn't hold it anymore.

[Oliver Willis]

"Let's say he takes six pee breaks a day at three minutes each - five minutes if he pees sitting down like Oliver Willis".

Larry. This is not funny. How dare you make fun of my medical condition. I suppose you think it's real amusing that it is medically necessary for me to release my golden nectar sitting down.

How would like it if your winkie was so small that it looked like the end of your thumb?

I'm telling Uncle Jessie...

[Bush4Ever]

Okay. Let's break it all down. The first sentence of the note is: "I think I may need a bathroom break." Now, as we all know, Bu$Hitler is such a Dumbya Smirking ChimpFace Smirking Smirker that he couldn't have written anything on his own. If we substitute "KKKarl Rove" for "I", "says" for "think", "needs" for "need", "Halliburton" for "bathroom" and "killer" for "break", we get this: "KKKarl Rove says KKKarl Rove needs a Halliburton killer." Now, let's look at the second sentence: "Is this possible." If we substiture "Make" for "Is", "it" for "this", and "so" for "possible", we get "Make it so.", a code phrase first used on Star Trek: The Next Generation by yet another white man in power. Is there any doubt that Bu$Hitler, under the mind control of KKKarl Rove will run, and win, the Presidential Election in 2008?

[Paula]

You crack me up! I am so sad if you don't write something new everyday. Thanks for the grins.

[Abu Fousa]

Some journalist captured on film the Zeppelin going down in flame,

some journalist captured on film the JFK assasination,

and this guy captured a " I need to pee " note.

That journalist deserves a Nobel prize or something.

Today I look at journalists with new respect.

[libmeister]

I wonder how long it will be before Usama bin Laden picks up on this story that the progressyve media is doing a wonderful job of disseminating throughout the world...thank you Rueters! Of course with his own kidney problems UBL may not be too amused about a leaky Shrub.

I wonder if the next UBL videotape will include a pee-on-Bush effigy?

But then again, maybe Bush needed a bathroom break to throw up because of all the high-powered truth that is usually shared at those prestigious United Nations meetings. He can't handle the truth like we can!

Now how much dynamite did Farrahkan say Bush used to blow up those levees?

[Fousa's cat]

Bush lied,
people died.

Bush peed, people...people...smoked weed?

[Talking Toaster]

Bush urinated on the Clinton Adminstrion :(

[Talking Toaster]

Bush urinated on the Clinton administration :(

Without remorse!

[Bubblehead]

It's all just another Rovian trick to make people think that * is "human" -- "Oh, look, he pees just like the rest of us" suburbanites will say as they swill their Kool-aid. Next we can expect press leaks that Bu-shaitan "loves his wife" or "is proud of his daughters" or has other human-like feelings... I'm glad that we progryssyves can see through this smokescreen!

[Walter]

Larry, let me fire you up a big ol' hit from the bongola of righteous delirium.

Ollie squatting (can he bend that way without splitting open?).

Algore so full of it he reeks.

Inspired as always!

[King Bastard]

I think we should get get an additional tax refund for his time spend in the bathroom.

I easily should get 5 cents back.

[camojack]

Well, he is the Pee-resident, after all...what did you think he did?!

[Jack Bauer]

Deploying ace systems analysts Edgar Stiles and Chloe (they put the anal into ysts) from CTU, I have high confidence that the shocking Al-Reuters "Bush Pee Memo" is another MSM fake...

This is what the total faker has done. He has taken parts of a real handwritten note from Bush, deleted the beginning and added words around it.

This part looks as if it could be Bush's real handwriting:

"Is this possible?"

This word looks like it MAY be real, but it's likely that this to is fake as it doesn't really match his documented cursive style.

"break"

However this has definitely been faked...

"I THINK I MAY NEED A BATHROOM BREAK"

The strike team is already gathered outside Al-Reuters London orrifice, expect results within 24 hours.

[Moonchild]

The true cost of Bush's over-hydration and subsequent excretion of his yellow venom is more than simple theft of a government salary. One must also tally the cost of the liquid he consumed, its packaging, the toilet he treated as though it were World Opinion, and the plumbing required to carry the waste into Gaia's bosom.

If Bush had signed Kyoto, this last cost could have been absorbed, but Gaia's feverish and cranky. She's no longer the girlfriend who'll do your laundry while you hit the strip clubs. So, don't be surprised when we come home one of these days to find the locks changed and our stuff strewn all over the lawn. And when that day comes, we now know who pushed us to the tipping point.

[Che]

How low will Reuters sink to Pre$$titute themselves out to this administration? This story was clearly written to provoke empathy among red-staters, (most of whom dropped out of the 6th grade to marry their cousins) whose only memory of school was doing the agonizing pee-pee dance, waiting for the teacher to give them a hall pass!

How typical of the Reich-Wing media! "Dubya is just an adorable young school boy who is too full of youth and vigor to pay attention is class. How cute!"

Leave it to a republican to put personal gratification ahead of international afairs. Bill Clinton was able to be gratified and bomb Czechoslovakians at the same time.

[libmeister]

The fallout from the Bush-spawned hurricane Katrina really bothers me. Maybe he did sit in his bathroom at his Crawford home and diddled away the time looking at centerfolds of National Geographics. But I know in my heart of hearts that IT'S ALL BUSH'S FAULT!

Here are my top five reasons why the response to hurricane Katrina was ALL BUSH'S FAULT:

1) Bush is a Chimp
2) Bush spawned Katrina with his diabolical I-hate-n!$$ers machine
3) It's Bush's fault
4) It's still Bush's fault
5) It will always be Bush's fault

Let me argue this another way: All conservatives are thugs; Bush is a conservative; therefore it's Bush's fault!

I dare anyone to take off their tinfoil hat and argue with me that all this isn't Bush's fault.

[libmeister]

Che, I think Bill Clinton actually bombed former Yugoslavia, but this little technicality doesn't matter.

Clinton was completely justified in doing what he did even though he didn't have prior UN authorization and we continue to have American troops vacationing there to this day. Bill Clinton is a progressyve who was all about opportunity, giving our military the opportunity to foreign outposts and see foreign lands and get a real education in how everybody else in the world lives better than we do in Amerikkka. Not to mention providing security for the brave, peaceful Muslims who burn down those evil reich-wing KKKhristian churches in Kosovo.

[Oliver Willis's Mother]

My Olly has a very big penis thank you very much.

[Wilderness Fox]

Again, the true meaning is missed on the feeble minded. This note appears to say- at least to simpletons- to request a bathroom break. What it REALLY says, and again I am using my powers of Liberal Deduction, is:

THEY ARE ON TO US. WE MUST KILL ALL THE NONBELIEVERS. THE STREETS OF AMERIKKA WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD AND GUTS OF THE INFERIOR, MEIN KOMRADES. THE TIME IS NOW!!! KATRINA WAS A START; NOW, IT IS TIME TO FINISH THE JOB! HEIL!

P.S. KANYE WAS A GREAT DISTRACTION, KKKARL! GENIUS! SIEG!

[libmeister]

Wilderness Fox,

Did you use the 6.66 Software Version of the Bible Code on the memo to arrive at your secret message?

[Wilderness Fox]

Actually, I used the 6.67 version. The 6.66 version is sooooooooooo last year.

But don't go looking for it in stores; it won't be released until near Winter Celebration time (Al Gore, the inventor of the software, is allowing me to use the beta version at this time).

[Che]

Libmeister,
I'm pretty certain it was Czechland. I remember this because I was throwing my niece an abortion shower when he bombed the Korean embassy, and I thought to myself, "Wow, Che! Bangkok is going to be pissed about that. Thank Goddess Bill the Benevolent is here to protect us instead of some chimp-faced smirky-boy from Texas."

We're probably both right, though. I'm sure Bill was serviced during more than one foreign policy expedition.

[bluestateredneck]

Che, I threw my niece a post-abortion golden shower and a chocolate mud bath.