As much as I agree with Bill Maher's assertion that American sailors are "cowards" for using unmanned submersibles while their Russian counterparts bravely descend to great depths in rusty tuna cans, I'm afraid he's completely missing the point. Seven men nearly lost their lives last week, innocent victims of Ronald Reagan's hegemonic crusade for global supremacy. Once the envy of the world, the mighty Soviet Navy has been reduced to a rag tag fleet of leaky rowboats and makeshift submarines converted from old Ford Pintos. Even the elaborate antenna array that ensnared the helpless vessel was little more than a series of coat hangers wrapped with wads of aluminum foil. The entire Russian military is a laughing stock 30 years behind the rest of the world - and ours would be to, if Reagan had simply continued Jimmy Carter's Legacy of Peace instead of dragging the Russians into an arms race they could not win.
Although Reagan is often given credit for winning the "Cold War", only President Carter's carefully conceived plan to Win the Peace would have saved us all from nuclear annihilation. In a show of trust, the United States would slowly dismantle it's military, setting an example that our Soviet friends could follow. It was a more time-consuming process than Reagan's headlong rush into a Cold War, but it would have saved the Soviet economy from collapse, and given American schoolchildren ample time to learn the Russian language and the words to the Soviet national anthem. John Kerry would have pursued the same policy against terrorism, if only given the opportunity. Now, instead of being equals on a level playing field with the International Community, we're arrogant bullies sailing the high seas as if we owned them.
I'm just glad that Jimmy Carter isn't alive to see it.
I hate to disappoint, but the Seas are owned by Halliburton.
Posted by: Son of the South (c) | August 09, 2005 at 12:03 PM
Jimmy Carter did the Brigades a great service, letting us get organized and grabbing the infidels' embassy while he wrung his hands ineffectually. We even feel some kinship with this infidel dog, because he, like us, has had to contend with the Crusader Rabbit, and we too know how fierce rabbits can be. (As fierce as the French, but with better personal hygiene.) We will kill him last; it's the highest honor we can bestow on an infidel.
Not like those other infidels, Clinton and Bush. "No fly zone" in Iraq? Hah! There were lots of flies there, believe me!
Posted by: al-Bundy Martyr Brigades | August 09, 2005 at 12:42 PM
What was a sub doing near all that communications stuff, being all cloak-and-dagger, anyway?
Surely Russian subs are merely tools for environmental enlightenment, to be sexual recepticles for dolphins and guppies and such; They are the Educational Vignettes of the Deep, if you will.
Don't believe Tom KKKlancy: Only AmeriKKKan subs are warships.
Posted by: Che Guevarito | August 09, 2005 at 01:18 PM
Al-Bundy, perhaps if Carter had the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch with him, things would have turned out better...
Posted by: Red Loser | August 09, 2005 at 02:19 PM
Jared (Fogle--the Subway guy) is a tool of the remnant that remains of the ReaganReich!
It was his old fishnet hose and belts that got...WERE (deliberately) tangled up around the mini (6") Sub [w/ Russian dressing]!
Posted by: CKCat. Sleuth & Conspiracy Theorist- PhD | August 09, 2005 at 02:21 PM
" If Bush is elected, I'm moving to Canada " american progressives said but;
OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadians can put away those extra welcome mats—it seems Americans unhappy about the result of last November’s presidential election have decided to stay at home after all.
In the days after President Bush won a second term, the number of U.S. citizens visiting Canada’s main immigration Web site shot up sixfold, prompting speculation that unhappy Democrats would flock north.
But official statistics show the number of Americans actually applying to live permanently in Canada fell in the six months after the election.
...
You thought they were in Canada, but those american progressives have been turned into experimental submarine
bio-fuel in some secret Halliburton laboratory.
The fuel turned out to be pretty bad, so it was sold to Russian for a few cases of vodka.
And the rest is history.
Posted by: Fousa's cat | August 09, 2005 at 03:08 PM
DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX TUE AUG 09, 2003 08:02:25 ET XXXXX
JAGGER ROCKS BUSH, RICE: 'HOW COME YOU'RE SO WRONG, MY SWEET NEO-CON'
"You call yourself a Christian, I call you a hypocrite/ You call yourself a patriot. Well, I think your are full of sh*t!... How come you're so wrong, my sweet neo-con."
Ready to drop in the coming weeks, a new Bush-bashing tune from the ROLLING STONES: "Sweet Neo Con."
"It is direct," Mick Jagger says with a laugh to fresh editions of NEWSWEEK.
"Keith [Richards] said, 'It's not really metaphorical.' I think he's a bit worried because he lives in the U.S." Jagger explains. "But I don't."
The full lyric also mocks National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice.
News about the song surfaced a few weeks ago with many expecting that it would not make the finally cut on the new CD, A BIGGER BANG.
Posted by: Friend of USA | August 09, 2005 at 04:32 PM
One... Two... Five!
Posted by: Bubblehead | August 09, 2005 at 05:10 PM
Mick Jagger and his geriatric set of has beens. Ugly and Uglier. I think they were ordering Enzyte or Viagra.
And rabbits are cleaner because they eat their own excrement. I can't understand why a liberal of Carter's caliber would off a bunny because they poop lightly on the earth. Gaia will get him.
Posted by: Cr'q't | August 09, 2005 at 05:15 PM
Here is the full story:Mick Jagger Is a Phony Liberal
Posted by: Cr'q't | August 09, 2005 at 05:19 PM
Should we be surprised that album was recorded in...where else, France.
Posted by: Friend of USA | August 09, 2005 at 06:48 PM
" London - Men who are accused of never listening by women now have an excuse - women's voices are more difficult for men to listen to than other men's, a report said on Saturday.
Men deciphered female voices using the auditory part of the brain that processes music, while male voices engaged a simpler mechanism, it said."
there is a little more here
Posted by: Friend of USA | August 09, 2005 at 07:07 PM
We know NO means NO, we just can't hear it,
and we have the scientific research to prove it.
Posted by: Friend of USA | August 09, 2005 at 07:13 PM
Bubblehead:
"Submariners are a sneaky bunch. You should see the great pictures we get of people on sailboats who think they're out in the ocean, miles from anyone..."
A lousy sailboat?
C'mon swab, that's like shooting dairy cows with a high-powered rifle, mildly entertaining, but not at all challenging.
It's not like you would hang "Bossie's" head right on up there next to your Boone and Crocket whitetail, is it?
You want to see freaky shit, you have to sail on a cruise ship off of Hawaii.
You'll get pictures of shit that you won't be able to figure out with a medical dictionary, a copy of Gray's Anatomy, and a veterinary medicine textbook.
Word.
Posted by: Bilgeman | August 09, 2005 at 09:20 PM
Did you all catch the Professym's chilling nuance??:....
A bong or 3 ago, Larry mused: "Russian Sailors Saved from Reagan's Ghost"
O H___M Y___G A I A!!!!!!!
Caspar [w/ an 'a' instread of an 'e'--like the (so called) "Friendly Ghost"] Weinberger...ahem... *was* Ronald McRaygun's SECRETARY OF DEFENSE from 1981 to 1987!!!!!!!
Coincidence? Helk NO, I tell ya!!
(Truth is indeed stranger than friction!!!!!)
This stuff doesn't make itself up ya know!?!?!?!
Posted by: CKCat. Sleuth & Conspiracy Theorist- PhD | August 09, 2005 at 11:47 PM
So THAT'S what happened to my Pinto.
RE: Your inquiry, "Does Helen Thomas count?"
Only if she can manage to get her shoes off so she can use all twelve of her webbed toes!
Posted by: Fyodor Garibaldi | August 10, 2005 at 11:18 AM
Oh Abu FOUSA....
about that newest CONVENIENT EXCUSE for you phalloppressive types not listening to us womyn.....well, I read about that Monday at Relevant Magazine.com and here's my favorite part of the article:
"The findings, published in the journal NeuroImage, may help explain why people suffering hallucinations usually hear male voices, say the scientists." BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
You myn are out to drive EVERY-friggin'-ONE crazy!!
Posted by: Michael Moooore, Suckumentarist | August 10, 2005 at 11:58 AM
Like a ship in front of a minisub..Michael Moore got in my way, dang it!
Posted by: OOPS...4-to to Change my Name, I am WOMYN Not Manatee! | August 10, 2005 at 12:02 PM