Russian Sailors Saved from Reagan's Ghost

As much as I agree with Bill Maher's assertion that American sailors are "cowards" for using unmanned submersibles while their Russian counterparts bravely descend to great depths in rusty tuna cans, I'm afraid he's completely missing the point. Seven men nearly lost their lives last week, innocent victims of Ronald Reagan's hegemonic crusade for global supremacy. Once the envy of the world, the mighty Soviet Navy has been reduced to a rag tag fleet of leaky rowboats and makeshift submarines converted from old Ford Pintos. Even the elaborate antenna array that ensnared the helpless vessel was little more than a series of coat hangers wrapped with wads of aluminum foil. The entire Russian military is a laughing stock 30 years behind the rest of the world - and ours would be to, if Reagan had simply continued Jimmy Carter's Legacy of Peace instead of dragging the Russians into an arms race they could not win.

Although Reagan is often given credit for winning the "Cold War", only President Carter's carefully conceived plan to Win the Peace would have saved us all from nuclear annihilation. In a show of trust, the United States would slowly dismantle it's military, setting an example that our Soviet friends could follow. It was a more time-consuming process than Reagan's headlong rush into a Cold War, but it would have saved the Soviet economy from collapse, and given American schoolchildren ample time to learn the Russian language and the words to the Soviet national anthem. John Kerry would have pursued the same policy against terrorism, if only given the opportunity. Now, instead of being equals on a level playing field with the International Community, we're arrogant bullies sailing the high seas as if we owned them.

I'm just glad that Jimmy Carter isn't alive to see it.

Comments

[Ry]

Ummm . . . Jimmy Carter still is alive, Lar.

I'm afraid you have him confused with ABC anchorman and all-time Jeopardy Champion, Ken Jennings.

Who Bush killed this weekend.

[camojack]

Ry:
Depends on what you mean by "is"...

[Talking Toaster]

I'm just glad that Jimmy Carter isn't alive to see it.

Neither am I. With his ghostly pale face and white hair it's clear died with dignity (dehydration). Ever notice how you always see his taking head on the TV - but not his body. It's attached to a robot mechanism with the necessary cables speakers and embalming fluid to give it some animation. Yet, every 2 weeks he has to go back to West World for repairs and cleaning of certain orifices.

[Bush Ate My Soul...]

I'm just glad that Jimmy Carter isn't alive to see it...

Given some of the things Carter has said lately, I'm going with Larry's interpretation.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

This post just goes to show how moderate progressives like Larry are, we don't simply blame everything on Dumbya, some things are the fault of Ronny Ray Gun as well.

[Bush Ate My Soul...]

I'm just glad that Jimmy Carter isn't alive to see it...

Given some of the things Carter has said lately, I'm going with Larry's interpretation.

[Bush Ate My Soul...]

Well that was strange.

But if you'd really like me too, I'll say it a third time.

[Moonchild]

As much as I admire the Russian courage for using rusty tuna cans, I have to consider the larger issue and say that this is a case of Gaia settling an old bill. How many dolphins died to create the tuna which led to the tuna being butchered which led to the raping of mother earth for iron and tin to make the cans which led to the perverted, although admirable recycling of the cans to expand the military-industrial complex?

So, I'm glad they were saved, but I can't help but think of the departed dolphins and how none of this would have happened if someone would have thought of them before they ordered that tuna on rye with a side of cole slaw. It's all part of the big picture, but to sum up: Tuna fishing leads to nuclear war.

[Che Guevarito]

The near tragedy of this lies in Bush's deregulation of the cable industry, his granting of Secret Police powers to the fascist RIAA in order to crackdown on MP3 sharing, and his consolidation of all media networks to Rupert Murdoch. These events, my fryends, forced the Russians to construct a massive rabbit-ear antenna array just to be able to watch an episode of "Queer Eye".

The Russians should have simply stolen cable like the rest of us.

[Cr'q't]

Even Carter shot at rabbits.

[Bu$hCausedMyGout]

I know, Larry, totally. The world was in much much better shape when JC was the prez. Then Reagun came along and spoiled the party. The Reaguns put a hit out on John Lennon - another genius and potent anti-war spokesperson who could have brought Old Teflon Ron down the way he should have gone. And don't think I'm complimenting him by calling him Teflon Ron: Teflon causes cancer so think about THAT one!

[aelfheld]

[...] sailing the high seas as if we owned them.

We do own them.

I've seen the deed.

[Sarge]

Hey, I got my first tit flash last night here at Sturgis!

Too bad the broad was about 80. At least she had a tattoo on her boob.

While you dumbass hippies are worrying about World Piece, I'm just trying to get a piece.

We shoulda let them Russkies drown! Hell, sooner or later relations are going to go south and we'll have to kill them anyway.

Me and my buddies plan to drive out into the Black Hills and shoot tin cans tonight. We're gonna tape Jimmy Carter's picture to the cans!

Yee Ha! Ride 'em cowboys.

[CKCat]

So the Cowboys' Asstronauts have safely carried out the Shrubs mission of dumping off his Rose Lawn Documents in outerspace, several millions of miles away.....la_tee_dah!

Skittle Commandant, Eileen Collins--a WOMYN--- makes a picture perfect landing"!! So much for the phallacious snark about "women drivers", eh?

The only reason "they" didn't call on women divers to help rescue the 7 Russian Navy Myn the Ghost of Ronnie tried to kill--is that the Brits (in bed with Imperialist Shrub & friends) forcibly forbade them by having a MANned peanut shaped sub (No!...I mean PEANUT)[or maybe it was jelly bean shaped...] to release dozens of stingrays & Octopi into the area who injected
PMSerum into the women divers.

Of COURSE, I didn't make this stuff up!!!!

[Friend of USA]

Well now that computers do the actual "driving" of aircraft, yes CKCat, women can land those things...

Now if someone could design something that would keep my girlfriend from dropping the tv remote control...

[Fousa's cat]

You know american capitalism is invading every corner of the world when you see a Target.com publicity painted on a Russian sub.

[Cr'q't]

All hail FOUSA of the slippery remote: Velcro.

Failing that, you should beat her soundly whenever she drops it. Only by reinforcing the lesson will she be acceptable.

[camojack]

Now if someone could design something that would keep my girlfriend from dropping the tv remote control...
Posted by: Friend of USA | August 9, 2005 06:53 AM

Somebody did; they call 'em manacles...or handcuffs, if you prefer.

[Fousa's cat]

Please understand that to muslim men a tv remote control is worth two women or four goats.

Maybe I should leave the tv permanently on Al-Jazhera and get rid of the remote.

[dave]

The other day all my jock-I voted-for bush-brothers got together and watched that 80's movie called "red dawn" about a soviet liberation of the KKKUSA. they cheered when the "good guys" murdered in cold blood the peace-loving-soviet and cuban troops. I was sickend. if it really happend we would have FREE health care, FREE food, and best of all that old man raygun would have to stand before a soviet judge and pay for his many crimes. the soviets could then put carter back in his rightfull place as a our leader.(don't get me started about how the repugs stole the 1980 vote from us)If this movie had come true, I would have turned in my brothers for fighting the noble,brave soviet troops. always remember that partisans fighters are only the "good guys" if they are killing american troops.Ted rall had a great post last week about this. read it now!!!!!

[Bubblehead]

Silently, the powerful nuclear submarine slipped through the water, only its periscope betraying its presence to the outside world. Little did those who froliced and played know, in their innocence, that they were being watched, and any mis-step on their part would result in cold icy death in the bosom of the seas.

[Cr'q't]

Who knew that Bubblehead was a voyeur?

[Bubblehead]

Submariners are a sneaky bunch. You should see the great pictures we get of people on sailboats who think they're out in the ocean, miles from anyone...

[brainsample]

Bubblehead,
I'm disappointed! Can't you take pictures of nubile, topless womyn sailors who wish to earn their progressive credentials by not conforming to patriarchal, christian clothing standards?

I thought this was a progressive site.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Frankly as a wimmins rites leader I'm against anything that's long, hard and full of seamen.