Judge Roberts' Gay Children Outed Valerie Plame

While questions continue to be raised as to whether Judge John Roberts used his influence to fiendishly give two orphans a loving home, damning new evidence has come to light concerning his children - evidence that may put the kibosh on his Supreme Court nomination once and for all.

The Roberts kids are no strangers to controversy. Jack Roberts, a confirmed bachelor who enjoys dancing and thinks girls are "yucky", has the I.Q. of a four year-old boy and a rap sheet a mile long. In 2003, Jack was reprimanded by a superior court judge for vandalizing the walls of a private residence with Crayola crayons. Last summer, he stole several indigenous amphibians from a natural wetland, a crime against nature for which he has yet to be held accountable. His childlike demeanor and bizarre behavior have frustrated reporters for weeks. When pressed for details on his father's opinions concerning Roe V. Wade, it's not unusual for Jack to burst into giggles and spin around in circles until he falls down.

If Jack Roberts seems to revel in media attention, then his sister, Jane, shuns it. Living a life shrouded in mystery, Jane was rumored to be dating Tom Cruise - but it's widely suspected that the girl with the pageboy haircut "plays for the other team", if you know what I mean. While John Edwards has yet to officially acknowledge her as a lesbian, Jane is rarely seen without another woman at her side. Her dowdy style of dress and lack of frequent abortions have raised more than a few eyebrows. And like brother Jack, her mental instability is a thing of record. Prone to sudden emotional outburts and crying fits over trivialities, Jane is often seen talking to small plastic replicas of human babies, and her addiction to paste has been the talk of the tabloids for years.

If the behavior of one's children is any indication of how a man writes new laws, then I fear for an America with John Roberts on the bench. Sadly, it now it seems that Roberts' children can add treason to their long list of scandals. According to eyewitness accounts from MoveOn.org and NARAL spokespersons, the Roberts children leaked the identity of super-duper top secret agent Valerie Plame to Robert Novak, a Republican operative and closet homosexual. Plied with ice cream and a trip to Disneyworld by the diabolical and queer-as-a-three-dollar-bill Karl Rove, Jack and Jane Roberts had no qualms about destroying the life of an American hero and condemning her husband to an endless succession of lucrative book deals.

As new, more disturbing allegations spring forth from the asses of New York Times editors every day, one must wonder if the flamboyantly gayJohn Roberts is fit to sit on the Supreme Court.

His children certainly aren't.

Comments

[adam & stever]

Has anyone ever seen a whiter group of people than Bill & Hillary and Al & Tipper? Wasn't it great when they were jamming to Fleetwood Mac? Inspirational. In case anyone was wondering I'm the pony-tailed guy that was at the presidential debates.

[Fousa's cat]

Today is national underwear day;

" Founded in August 2003, National Underwear Day is an event that evokes the care-free attitude of Sixties 'happenings', when free spirits took control of public spaces as venues for their art, their message.{...}
Americans spend more than $13 billion on intimate apparel each year and for that kind of money, we feel it is our duty to tell the world."

...

If real progressives don't wear underwear, then we know who spends $13 billions on underwear made in sweat shops owned by Halliburton where
7 year old kids earn $13 a year working 400 hours a week , don't we?

How many kids in India died making briefs for John Roberts?

[Che Guevarito]

Abu, You're forgetting that not all of those underwear are bought out of necessity. Hell, I paid $143.65 on Ebay for a slightly used pair of Susan Sontag's tighty whiteys.

[brainsample]

The right wing thugs who prowl the internet in order to confuse correct-thinking progressives are at it again. This site is proof of Rove's brilliance... when he's not trying to decide which butt plug to use.

supportgayjudgeroberts.blogspot.com/

Now they want the world to think that they are just as open-minded as we are.

Well, I'm not falling for that lie! Conservative homosexuals are submissive nancy boys! Conservative blacks are uncle toms!! Conservative women are materialistic whores!!

And don't you forget it!!

[joeindc44]

The saddest part about this whole fiasco, with its fully clothed children and pistachios is that the nomination is directly caused by Bu$hitlerMcHallibutton's illegal and immoral war on the Kiterunning Iraqis. Look, if TV has taught me anything, and I like to think that it has, we all know that anyone who is white, male and a parent is either a child molster or in the closet. I think we can figure out how this works out.

Sadly, we all know that Bush will need to stack the Supreme Court to keep Rep. Rengel's committee in the basement of the House from impeaching him for defying the French and the Syrians. If only Bush had raised taxes on the richest 1%, the war would be going well enough to nominate a truly progressive soviet to the court.

[CKCat]

A 4.3 on da' Richter Earthquake hits Raton, NM today.....That's just a few steps away from Trinidad, CO (AKA: sex change capital of the world)

WHY did the Sinister Shrubdanista send the E-quake??....I'm glad you asked....BECAUSE *THEY* FREAKIN' BOTCHED UP Supremes Nom John Gay Roberts sex change procedure! That Evil Dumbya Genius planned all along to nominate a WOMYN, but since the Gender Genies in Trannydad messed up Gay John's procedure, well....Bush is now stuck with this lame duck gay guy and his gay kids..WHO...by the way---it's rumored at that Ivy League Blog: Dunderground---also got botched up oper-a's!!! The boy is s'pose to be a gyrl and vice versa.

Al Jazeera's highest paid reporter: Michael Moore didn't manage to get ANY comments from Gay John Roberts wife cuz she was undergoing a prostate exam.

You and I both know you just can't make this stuff up!!

[MourningDove]

Gay hatchlings? Just push 'em out of the nest...birdie abortion! Very efficient, then you just lay another egg or two. No problem!

[Bush Ate My Soul...]

Now see Cat? Both the Left and Right have something to be happy about!

The Left should be happy that The Shrub *is* replacing St. Sandra Day of O'Connor with a Womyn.

And the Right should be happy, because even if he *is* in touch with his feminine side, he looks reassuringly like a fascist oppressor on the outside.

Something for everyone in this nomination.

[Joatmoaf]

Hmmm... Interesting that you should bring up an earthquake in N.M.
I have a reliable un-named source who has given me Sooper Seekrit information to the effect that U.S. Government is conducting diabloical tests in New Mexico.

These tests are psychological in nature and are designed to discourage potential college students from ever going.

As you all know, one of the most popular college pastimes is cow tipping. People from all over the world come to American colleges just to study and participate in that activity.

What you don`t know is that Bush wants a dumber population, in order to more easily impliment his plan of Global Domination for Halliburton.

He figures that by taking away the cow tipping incentive from college life, prospective students will be discouraged and start doing progressive things like robbing banks and smoking crack.

It IS a diabolical scheme that just might work.
This is no conspiracy theory because I have proof.

Not only that, but the U.S. Government took it to the ultimate extreme.
See for yourself.

Nuclear Cow Tipping

[I'm Bob Dole Bitch]

Check out the link below to see Labia Larry at his queer best. He kind of resembles Howie. I think they might be related.

http://pixyland.org/peterpan/photo_closeups_dd2.htm

[CKCat]

BAMS...BAMS...BAMS!

If anyone is a trusted voice, it would be you.

You make sense of BushReich things better than most....most undoubtedly because of the (Bushies Illegal) War Story that IS you. Bush having cannibalized your soul leaves you in a position of authority (and victimhood) that I can't imagine hasn't yet earned you several purple hearts yet and/or a silver heart or two. I s'pose Rightful President J F Kerry is working tirelessly on making those a reality for you. Perhaps he's awaiting a form 180 from Queen Hillary who's Villages First Responders have been tending to your inner child--before he grants you those. We must always first think of the children (NOT including GAY John Roberts GAY, gayly wardrobed, Planned Parenthood robbing over- matured TWO TOO MANY fetuses!!)

Your keen insight is without price, BAMS!! Thank you.

[Patriotism = Fascism]

Congrats, Larry -- you've hit The Big Time. Lookee here (scroll half-way down):

http://www.opinionjournal.com/best/

[Justsomeguy]

I've finally found a website funnier than democraticunderground.org. hanks!

[moptop]

Once I heard that young master Jack was seen masticating in the lunch room of a local day care center, that was it for me.

[Bush Ate My Soul...]

Why thank you, my dear Cat. Though some ignornat folk have remarked that they have been Foiled by the White Man's Cat, and have even opined that they have No Use For Cats And Their Oppressive Ways, I for one find cats quite sympatico.

[Bush Ate My Soul...]

Joat, that is an extremely disturbing link.

Larry - congrats on the WSJ link! That Quentin Tarantino dude rocks, does he not?

Heh...

[JannyMae]

You, ought to know, BAMS, having had your own alter-ego's blog featured on Tarantino recently! Congrats to you both!

[Heath]

You're welcome, Larry. :)

[jcp]

You wrote "If the behavior of one's children is any indication of how a man writes new laws,..."

Ackk!
Do Supreme Court judges write new laws or interpret them?
The koolaid sweating out of the pores of society have seeped into every crevice and corner.

[Joatmoaf]

Dear BAMS,
That was just part of a teaser to the original.
In the original, the camera pans out to show a whole herd of cows, then a flash, then a ground shockwave, then...well you get the idea.
As didturbing as that little clip was, the original is much worse.
It was done to study the effects of a nuclear blast on living creatures out in the open.
They couldn`t find any hippies to use for the test, I think they were all at Woodstock getting stoned or maybe a Bra burning or something. Since they couldn`t find hippies to use they used the next best thing...cows.

[Bush Ate My Soul...]

Yeah, that Tarantino is not nearly as twisted and violent as most of those Hollywood types. I think they get a bad rap from the rabid, snake-handling Moral Perjority at the Reich House.

We had to take back all the bad stuff we were saying about him, too. Nice guy.

[Vicki]

My God! Please leave the lying, dirty tricks, smears and slander to the extremist right wing barbarians and cannibals. That is their way. I want our side to be better than that. This isn't a silly political game. This is a battle for survival of the world. Isn't worth it if we win by becoming just like the bad guys, wearing black hats ourselves. That is why I hate the Democrats, they are indistinguishable from the Republicans, murdering, stealing, lying, and betraying the people for filthy lucre. Let's rise above that and be honest and true to the principles we profess. We are the true, patriotic Americans who love this country, not those despicable, evil, criminal villains on the other side. Let's act like we believe in the principles of this nation.

Vicki

[Vicki]

Sorry for a second post, but have to add that this disgusting piece also demonstrates massive homophobia and gay hatred. We are supposed to be the tolerant, good guys who are are willing to accept anyone. The author of that piece is no friend of gays having humiliated and held up to redicule and hatred every gay stereotype. I suggest the author go work for Dr. Dobson, Rev. Sheldon or even find a job writing hate screeds for Dubya. As for the rest of us, let's really, really be the white hats and rise above the evil standards of right.

Vicki

[Liberal Larry]

"Let's act like we believe in the principles of this nation."

Indeed! If we're ever going to fool the red states into giving us power again, we must at least act like we believe in the principles of this nation. We can go back to denouncing America and its capitalist, imperialist, and genocidal history when the cameras are off.

[Joatmoaf]

"Isn't worth it if we win by becoming just like the bad guys, wearing black hats ourselves."

As for the rest of us, let's really, really be the white hats and rise above the evil standards of right.

You are not getting with the Program with these two racially devisive statements.

Translation:
Black = Bad.
White = Good.

What kind of Progressive statement is that?

I'm also sure that if you keep calling people "homophobes" long enough and LOUD enough it will fill them with such guilt that they will suddenly turn gay (whether they want to or not)

You GO gurl!!!