Judge Roberts' Gay Children Outed Valerie Plame

While questions continue to be raised as to whether Judge John Roberts used his influence to fiendishly give two orphans a loving home, damning new evidence has come to light concerning his children - evidence that may put the kibosh on his Supreme Court nomination once and for all.

The Roberts kids are no strangers to controversy. Jack Roberts, a confirmed bachelor who enjoys dancing and thinks girls are "yucky", has the I.Q. of a four year-old boy and a rap sheet a mile long. In 2003, Jack was reprimanded by a superior court judge for vandalizing the walls of a private residence with Crayola crayons. Last summer, he stole several indigenous amphibians from a natural wetland, a crime against nature for which he has yet to be held accountable. His childlike demeanor and bizarre behavior have frustrated reporters for weeks. When pressed for details on his father's opinions concerning Roe V. Wade, it's not unusual for Jack to burst into giggles and spin around in circles until he falls down.

If Jack Roberts seems to revel in media attention, then his sister, Jane, shuns it. Living a life shrouded in mystery, Jane was rumored to be dating Tom Cruise - but it's widely suspected that the girl with the pageboy haircut "plays for the other team", if you know what I mean. While John Edwards has yet to officially acknowledge her as a lesbian, Jane is rarely seen without another woman at her side. Her dowdy style of dress and lack of frequent abortions have raised more than a few eyebrows. And like brother Jack, her mental instability is a thing of record. Prone to sudden emotional outburts and crying fits over trivialities, Jane is often seen talking to small plastic replicas of human babies, and her addiction to paste has been the talk of the tabloids for years.

If the behavior of one's children is any indication of how a man writes new laws, then I fear for an America with John Roberts on the bench. Sadly, it now it seems that Roberts' children can add treason to their long list of scandals. According to eyewitness accounts from MoveOn.org and NARAL spokespersons, the Roberts children leaked the identity of super-duper top secret agent Valerie Plame to Robert Novak, a Republican operative and closet homosexual. Plied with ice cream and a trip to Disneyworld by the diabolical and queer-as-a-three-dollar-bill Karl Rove, Jack and Jane Roberts had no qualms about destroying the life of an American hero and condemning her husband to an endless succession of lucrative book deals.

As new, more disturbing allegations spring forth from the asses of New York Times editors every day, one must wonder if the flamboyantly gayJohn Roberts is fit to sit on the Supreme Court.

His children certainly aren't.

Comments

[ripper76]

Thank god the NY Times is exposing these criminals!! THANK YOU NY TIMES!

[Susan Sontag]

Just because Judge and Mrs. Roberts are both transgendered, doesn't mean that you or the NY Times are entitled to inavade their gay children's privacy!

Larry, you should be ashamed of yourself!

[aelfheld]

[...] Jane was rumored to be dating Tom Cruise [...]

Too tall for him.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

The important issue that by adopting these children, Judge Roberts deprived some womyn of her opportunity to experience fetus expulsion, so how can he be trusted on Roe versus Wade? Clearly he is to judgmental to be a judge.

[camojack]

"...one must wonder if the flamboyantly gayJohn Roberts is fit to sit on the Supreme Court.

"His children certainly aren't."

What, just because they're gay?!

How progressyve is THAT?!?!

[Moonchild]

This is what we know: Roberts, his wife, and the two children are gay. We also know that Rove plied two gay children with Ice Cream and a Tom Delay style travel deal. We know that Rove screams anti-gay epithets when he's not outing CIA agents, and we know that people who criticize things really want the thing their criticizing, such as when Bush says he hates terrorists; it means he sexually attracted to them, or when I say I hate ice cream sundae's with sprinkles and nuts; it means I'm sexually attracted to them.

So, from these facts, what can we discern? Ok, here it is: Rove is sexually attracted to Valerie Plame, and the Roberts family desperately wishes it were heterosexual. *shudder* As ugly as these facts are, I don't think we can escape them.

[spd rdr]

Who's "John Edwards?"

[Kool-Aid Drinker]

I hear those two Roberts adoptees are also notorious wingnut Kool-Aid drinkers.

Simply disgusting.

[Cr'q't]

If the Roberts boy continues to spin in circles until he falls down it is a clear indication of some sort of imbalance. And since he doesn't connect with the media I think it is an indication of being a higher functioning autistic. His sister
doesn't just talk to the plastic baby replicas. Those are voodoo dolls of Senator Rotten-Clinton and Barbara Box*****.

[Che Guevarito]

On the surface, this looks much worse than it is. Everyone knows that adopted fetuses, like homeschooled children, tend to become sociopathic, psychopathic serial killers. Conventional wisdom tells us that the only people capable of loving and nurturing children are Bill Clinton, the DNC, and finally the biological mother.

But be open minded. Not all adoptees end up unloved and alone, and not all adopters are weirdos.

If Woody Allen and Mia Farrow are representative of adoptive parents, Roberts might not be so bad.

[Cr'q't]

Che, I homeschool my little sociopaths. My sister who is a member of Gaia's Forces On Gaia (Greenpeace and the Sierra Club) has adopted a male fetus who was expelled at term. Because of her moonbat leanings, she is indoctrinating hym in the ways of
government approved rearing by having hym in preschool while she works and then putting hym in school while she recovers from the three hours a day she is exposed to hym. I know he will be a well adjusted psychopath. Her husband is a shrink, so he has access to free mental health care. It is a win/win situation, I'd say.

[Bubblehead]

Camojack,
I'm very disappointed in you; as progryssyves, we have the right -- nay, the responsibility -- to use racial, gender, and homosexual jokes and insults against conservatives who might be womyn, GLBTQAT, African-American, or other normally exempt minority. For example, we are free to guffaw about how Michelle MalKKKin probably got her start as an LBFM picking up stacks of peso coins "no-hands" from the top of beer bottles, and that's all right, because we're progryssyve, and by definition not racist/sexist/elitist. But let a KKKonservative correctly use the word "niggardly" in D.C., and we'll get his white ass fired!

[joeindc44]

You know, sadly, this blog is slipping further and further into the extreme, away from mainstream progressive thought. I think you need to reassess your status as a progressive because this article demonstrates a remarkably distrubing acceptance of Judge Roberts and his family. Take off the gloves and expose Roberts for what he really is.

[RWing Nut]

Joeindc44 is right. Larry missed the crucial clue from Robert's children. Did you see how they were dressed at the nomination press conference? The NYT fashion editor didn't fail to notice that the parents had obviously dictated the choice of clothing to those kids. Next thing you know they will force-feed them values or worse yet, religion. As any good progrysive knows these things should be learned from MTV.

Cr'q't,
It's terribly unprogrysive of you to home school. You are depriving the NEA of teacher salary dues to donate to progrysive causes. And, you might unwittingly teach them outmoded, primitive, concepts like right and wrong.

[joeindc44]

Wow, Rwingnut (thats like a pistaschio?), your clothes comment totally opened my eyes. First, how so closeted of Roberts to clothe his kids. What sort of internal demons must be tearing away at him to force the cruel burka like uniform of western oppression upon his kids. Freud will get a kick out of all these signals.

[Crouton]

I heard that Jack Roberts plays with little boys. That's not "wrong" in the KKKonservative sense, but we can use it against his father.

Also, the son is reputed to be incontinent, and prone to crying fits. Also, he routinely takes mid-day naps -- what's he trying to "sleep off
"? He has an oedipus complex, and a near-total lack of personal discipline and responsibility (again, not technically a bad thing, but it's good ammo). Who would raise such a sociopath?

[al-Bundy Martyr Brigades]

Cr'q't,

The Brigades have reserved places for your little infidels in our madrassah. What size bomb vest do they wear?

[Down with Bush]

yeah, don't you know that public schools are the only schools fit to raise your kids? As a parent possibly raised in a backward or non-progressive time, you endanger your children's education every minute you spend with them. Why, the only reason the state doesn't take full responsibility for raising your child is that the Rebli-nazis might try to send them off to war instead of teaching them the correct progressive views. Why, only in public school would your kids get a chance to learn songs about religions that were made up 30 years ago and how the Bible is just an outdated, error-ridden bookcase filler. They'll also need to have those intense public school "is" defining lessons, in case they ever need to go before a Grand Jury.

[Son of the South (c)]

Chances are, if we don't intervene, these children might even be tought about Western Civilization. And I don't mean in a negative light either. They might actually be brainwashed into thinking there is anything good about our culture . . .

[dave]

When I saw those robert's kids, one thought came to my mind. "NAZI" Roberts is a nazi and is kids are blonde haired, blue eyed, death-camp nazi types as well.

and I'm glad that you brought up KKKARL Rove's not so well hidden gayness. He's such a cock-holster.He might not be openly gay,but I'll bet my 20 year nation magazine collection that I could put a hook in him toss him into a gay bar and reel them out of there all night...

I'm all for gay folks(the one's that vote dem) but we could use this to destroy him. and we could also cross our fingers that he gets aids......

[Michael Moooore, Suckumentarist]

"...correctly use the word "niggardly" in D.C., and we'll get his white ass fired!"

Hey Bobblehead!
I hate KKKonservatives, but I'll say whatever I want, whenever I want...truthier truth or not....but it'll take you a few milleniums to
*get rid of* my ass. Besides, Howie likes it as is.

[Bubblehead]

Now we need one of those polls like the BlameBush wannabes at DU use.

What kind of buttplug does Rove use when having hot mansex with Guckert/Gannon?
--Black 6" tapered
--Beige triple humper
--Sandpaper covered

[aelfheld]

So that's where Howie's hiding out.

I was wondering why we hadn't heard from him.

[JannyMae]

Cricket, I don't know how you do it! If I had to home school my child, one of us would have killed the other within a week! Thanks be to Gaia, that we can afford a private school for our adopted child, who is so much like us that it's is unbelievable!

[Che Guevarito]

That's pretty tricky of you Bubblehead. You left off "all of the above".