It Wasn't Me

Just a quick heads-up to all the readers who have been emailing me with electronic high-fives over the recent post at Mike the Jarhead's blog.

So a couple days ago, our CO got a little “love note” from someone back home… a love note that I am privy to by virtue of my job. Seems that someone with an internet browser (and more than likely a Democratic Underground account) thought it would be fun to look up our unit’s official mailing address – which, by the way, starts with the words “Commanding Officer” and THEN the unit name and PO Box – and launch into a tirade about the war and oil and Israel and God only knows what else. Who knows how many units he sent his little missive to…

I know what you're thinking. A brilliant progressive. Seattle. Bad spelling. But I assure you I am not responsible. I, nor any other liberal would ever refer to Bush as a "Puppet of the Jews". That bigoted phrase is the calling card of foaming-at-the-mouth, reichpublican anti-semites like Marie Osmond. Tolerant progressives such as myself prefer to use the phrase "right-wing Zionist cabal" when referring to those pesky Jews and their devious plans for world domination.

I just wanted to clear up any misconceptions before Ariel Sharon sends his yarmulka stormtroopers over to kick down my door and beat me senseless. And Mike, since I live in the Seattle area, I'd be more than happy to track down the scumbag responsible for the insidious hate mail and give him a piece of my mind, but Congressman McDermott is in his flotation tank for the week and won't be disturbed.

Comments

[aelfheld]

[...] Congressman McDermott is in his flotation tank for the week and won't be disturbed.

So call Roto-Rooter™.

[MaxedOutMama]

Liberal Larry, I believe that it is obvious that this is part of the vast rightwing conspiracy linked to the vast rightwing Zionist cabal. They are deliberately trying to make brilliant liberals from Seattle such as yourself look ignorant and illiterate.

It has Karl Rove's grubby fingerprints all over it, but I think the Mossad originally proposed the idea.

[Joatmoaf]

I understand that you had nothing to do with this, but how can we blame it in Bush?
He`s not in Seattle.

[Kronsell]

Actually I dont get this "denial thing". As a professym and generally enlightened Humyn being (No disrespect to our four-legged friends and betters) you should know that it the progressive way to take responsability for all such letters. Othervise, how can you claim the credit later?

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Our baby killers don't like honest debate do they? too busy practicing their goose stepping no doubt.

[Che Guevarito]

I think you've been had, Larry. This post was obviously a parody.

Charley Rangel has taught us nothing if not that the ranks of the military are filled with poor inner-city minorities like Bubblehead.

Unable to attend Berkeley as a result of Bu$h'$ "No Child Left Behind" educational program, they are forced to kill for oil in a non-union job. Why, between defacing Korans and practicing the goosestep, I doubt they have time to enjoy a bowl of Acapulco Gold, let alone hone their literary skills to the levels of a Princeton student.

The thing that gave away this parody for me was the reading Marine bit. I seriously doubt there's a single Jarhead who can write his own name, let alone read an entire letter drafted by an enlightened mind.

[It's all Jooooz to me]

Is the "right-wing Zionist cabal" the same thing as the "pro-Israeli Zionist cabal", or are they two different facets of the same cabal?

[dave]

Larry, I know that you did not do this. you are a kind- noble- brave-uber-smart-progressive. we simply can not hate. Is's not in our dna. that being said, I'd like to take the time to say I hope that nazi get blown to hell by an ied.I hope that he loses his legs and then he can always be reminded that he was a storm-trooper for the evil bu$h war cabal. How many kids did you kill today? Before the right-wing-hit-machine try's to smear me, I like to say that while I am not for this war I support the troops.

[Joooooooooooooos Newton]

Charley Rangel has taught us nothing if not that the ranks of the military are filled with poor inner-city minorities like Bubblehead...

Damn straight. It's a rich man's war and a poor man's fight.

Just call me Rangel of the morning RANGEL
Just throw that race card 'fore you leave here, honkey.
Just call me Rangel of the morning RANGEL
Then slowly oooze away,
I won't beg you to stay with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Is racial justice too much to axe?
We got to stop this white man's war
Just don't confuse me with the facts
Cos' I ain't listenin' anymore...
You know I'm bringing back the draft,
Though half the Army thinks I'm daft...

Just call me Rangel of the morning RANGEL
Just throw that race card 'fore you leave here, honkey.
Just call me Rangel of the morning RANGEL
Then slowly oooze away,
I won't beg you to stay with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Is this a time to remember the Solzhenitsyn of our times, New Jersey Poet-Laureate- Amiri Baraka:

Who knew the World Trade Center was gonna get bombed

Who told 4000 Israeli workers at the Twin Towers

To stay home that day

Why did Sharon stay away?

It isn't anti-semitic to ask why the Zionist-Occupation-Government murdered 3500 people so they could steal Iraq's oil!!

[Che guevarito]

Mynstrual, that was about the most beautiful thing I've experienced since I watched Michael Moore's "Supersize Me", or Howard Dean's speech to my daughter's Pre-Indoctrinational School for Social Change:

They tried to lock me in a room,
With rubber walls, like Mama's womb.
They took my hat that's Tinfoil made.
While I campaigned, kazoos they played.
Those evil voices in my head,
Evil voices from states of red,
Hateful things those voices said,
(Sometimes they make me wet the bed).
Oh my poll numbers, how they dove!
Because of b@#$&^%t said by Rove!
I'd &*%$# fundamentalists *&#@°% &@##! in his **&%@ cove!
IN OHIO, AND MAINE AND MASSA%^&#$CHUSETTES AND AAARRRUGH!

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Che, if I recall it wasn't Michael Moore who did supersize me it was someone else. When Michael Moore lived on nothing but McDonalds Supersize meals for a month he lost over 30 pounds. However your poetry is inspirational and I will be teaching it to my Alternative Logic class next week.

[I'm Bob Dole Bitch]

Hey Joooooooooos, Your brother Fig called. He wants his Viagra back. Plus the Sears catalog you stole from his bathroom.

[Friend of USA]

" When Michael Moore lived on nothing but McDonalds Supersize meals for a month he lost over 30 pounds. "

Excellent!

[Cheney W. Halliburton]

Okay, okay, I confess. I wrote the letter -- on stationery provided to me by Karl Rove which he obtained while disguised as Larry's connection.

It was just a harmless prank, Larry. All in good fun. Remember -- we only frag the ones we love.

[libmeister]

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Hey! Bu$Hitler and his Zionist neo-kkkon kkkabal just stole my letter and left dots. Why if I ever get my hands on...........
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....dirty rotten fascist censors
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[Carmen Wilcox]

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id Quantique
http://www.bcfencing.ca/