Al-Zawahiri, Right on Cue

When Dan Rather uncovered shocking evidence that Bush went AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard for the entire Vietnam War, "Osama Bin Laden" made a diversionary video appearance that dominated the news for weeks and captured six Golden Globes for Best Documentary. When polls showed John Kerry surging ahead of Bush among heroin addicts, circus freaks, and New York Times Op-Ed columnists, out came another one of the Shrub's Osama lookalikes to scare the crap out of the American sheeple just ahead of the November elections. So when "bizarre weather" forced down a commercial aircraft full of French citizens at a Toronto airport, it was a safe bet that another turbaned stooge would conveniently surface to let Bush off the hook.

Thankfully, all 297 passengers aboard the Air France jet survived, and were found in a nearby field attempting to surrender to a flock of Canadian geese. But with Charles Nelson Reilly making phony terrorist threats in an equally phony beard, everyone quickly forgot about the mysterious storm that brought down an airplane full of rabid Bush-Haters on the same day the Shrub was to begin the longest presidential vacation in American history.

Nine out of ten dentists agree that severe weather is the direct result of Bush's refusal to give the UN regulatory powers over American industries. The French, who used only 30 gallons of water last year nationwide, would be more than happy to help us adopt a more European model of conservation, recycling, and sucking-up to mustachioed dictators. But Bush has chosen to ignore the sage advice of our eco-friendly friends. Now, our children must face a bleak future where their Rice Krispies are saturated with arsenic, the air is unbreathable even in the cold vacuum of space, and Tony Award-winning actors are little more than paid stooges for Halliburton, Inc.

Comments

[Bubblehead]

Bu-shaitan is trying to distract attention from his failed French airliner crash distraction with a new sinking Russian submarine distraction. I for one won't be distra --woah... pretty colors...

[Bilgeman]

Lib'rul Larr-ee:

"Thankfully, all 297 passengers aboard the Air France jet survived, and were found in a nearby field attempting to surrender to a flock of Canadian geese."

Zat was NOT what we were doing! We were having a group "snit" over how many frequent fly-air miles we should be getteeng for our inconveenyance.

We were also argueeng over what wine to serve and which sauce to use on "Goose a la JP5 Flambee".

And some were complaining about zee barbarism of zee Canadiennes in not installing a cafe along zee airport runway for just such occassions.

We are Fwench, after all.

Silly man. Why would we surrendair to Canada?

Canada ees becomeeng just like us!

Au revoir, Larr-ee.

[Down with Bush]

This is just another blatant attempt by this illegitimate administration to cover up its illegal war in Iraq and its attempt to circumvent all rules concerning dice rolled when invading neighboring territory. Those red dice are for defense, not attack, Bu$hitler! Jeez, can the Republicans be even more obvious! Clearly this sub disaster was planned from the minute peeResident Chimp took office, right after stealing it from Glorious Gore. I'm not exactly sure how the sub fits in with Halliburton, but rest assured, they had something to do with it. If only we had a system like Europe, we'd have no crime and no corruption, just like France. Just wait 'til Hilary takes over in 2008 and uses her magic to stop those terrible Republicans. If that doesn't work, she can send her army of flying monkeys after them.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

I'm not entirely sure I know what's going on, but I'm fairly sure its the Chimperors fault.

[Sarge]

Sissies, I am off to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally to throw back a few brewskies with some real men.

One thing I remember about France... the women surrender just about as easy as the women. You know... "there's a place in France where the women wear no pants."

I don't want to get into the details, because you pinkos wouldn't really understand, but there's something special about those French girls... they smell rather piquant because they don't wash that often.

So, hippies, while you're smoke that devil weed, I'll be drinking beers and a shot and watching real biker women flash their tits.

Get ready for the war when I get back. Don't you love the smell of napalm in the morning?

[Talking Toaster]

Thankfully, all 297 passengers aboard the Air France jet survived, and were found in a nearby field attempting to surrender to a flock of Canadian geese.

They were surrendering to KKKarl Rove's goose stepping brown shirts! Charles Nelson Reilly of Men's Mix 1, Gaydar, SpongeBob SquarePants, has been a CIA operative for years. "Don't Ask - Don't tell" has been Bush's secret weapon.

Liberal Larry this all coming together. It's a vast right wing conspiracy.

When will Bush's Big Hollywood Buddies quit massaging the average liberal for political gain? Will giant scrotums be milked dry? Contemplate the ramifications (to the rear). Take a deep breath on the Iron bong. Remember 'Deliverance.' Don't be the little piggy to squeal in the wilderness (for less than $20).

Build your shelter now - or buy rectal condoms - or a rectal cork - or use super glue - just keep your rear door shut to Bush and his buddy Bolton!

[Friend of USA]

Bush wants total control of terrorist appearances on tv news and has forced Russia to...

" Russia Will Not Renew ABC-TV's Accreditation

POSTED: 8:12 am PDT August 2, 2005
UPDATED: 9:27 am PDT August 2, 2005

MOSCOW -- Russian officials are outraged that ABC-TV aired an interview with a notorious Chechen militant.

The Foreign Ministry said it won't renew accreditation for ABC workers as it expires. The decision effectively bars ABC employees from working in Russia.

And a statement from the ministry said the network will be considered "undesirable" for contacts with all government agencies.

Officials said the interview contained "direct vocal calls for violence against Russian citizens."

The Chechen, Shamil Basayev, has claimed responsibility for some of Russia's most terrifying attacks, including the seizure of a school. More than 330 children and adults died in that attack.

In the interview, the Chechen said he's plotting more attacks. "

[Bilgeman]

Friend of USA:

"The Foreign Ministry said it won't renew accreditation for ABC workers as it expires. The decision effectively bars ABC employees from working in Russia."

No Monday Night Football?

That's pretty harsh, ain't it?

Regards;

[howie]

R O B E R T S Read more...

[JannyMae]

Let's see, should I click on that link and read more plagiarized commentary from Hoowie? I think not.

[howie]

Not plagerised Janny Mae. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

[howie]

Go ahead. Click it, Jan. You know you want to.

[howie]

Click the limk.

[Sen. Durbin]

Man, the Chimp really has me steamed this time! While Earth melts under the greatest heat wave it has ever known, he decides to take a five-WEEK vacation?! As if his whole pResidency hasn't been one giant vacation for his oil cronies anyway. He's given his business buddies a first-class America, while the rest of us are relegated to the luggage space. Like "Jesus Christ," I don't believe that this Osama Bin Laden is even a real person. Rather, he is simply a construct created by the Shrub and his extremist wacko cronies to keep the ameriKKKan sheeple brainwashed and compliant.

[dave]

Larry,
As a lib,it's my job to be outraged...I'm outraged that you did not bring up the fact that today in history the evil, warmongering americans dropped the atom bomb on the peaceful, non-warmaking people of japan. you should be full of shame.

[JannyMae]

NOT plagiarized, Hoowie? Hard to believe, but if so, an even better reason not to click on the link. Walking over hot coals would not be as painful as a visit to your blog.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Did someone mention John Roberts? Good, I was glad to hear that the impartial New York Times is investigating the 'adoption' of his children.
http://www.cnsnews.com/news/viewstory.asp?Page=%5CPolitics%5Carchive%5C200508%5CPOL20050805b.html

Of course sanctimonious freepers will claim that attacking 4 year old fetuses is 'unethical, but this shows their hypocrisy, they damn us compassionate liberals when we make shit up like with Anita Hill, and now they damn us when we try and find real dirt on their children! Frankly by adopting Roberts deprived some poor latina womyn of her opportunity to have an abortion!!! This shows he is unfit to serve on SCROTUM.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

***BREAKING NEWS***

Bush Body Count rises, Britain's ex-foreign Secretary, who resigned over the Iraq war dies whilst "taking a walk". Just like their chief scientist David Kelly died "taking a walk". In the UKKK "Taking a Walk" is Bu$hitler speak for "sleeping with the fishes".

[camojack]

I am off to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally to throw back a few brewskies with some real men.
Posted by: Sarge | August 6, 2005 03:23 AM

Sarge:
Goin' to Sturgis? I went again last year; have a BLAST!!!
(Saw Blue Oyster Cult right at the CAMPGROUND...)

[aelfheld]

What's wrong with arsenic and Rice Krispies? It makes a great party mix.

[camojack]

Nah, Arsenic & Old Lace is better, especially when it's complemented with a nice elderberry wine...

[Friend of USA]

Woah, Blue oyster cult?

They are still around?

They had a couple hit songs in the early 80's, I remember; "Don't fear the reaper", that was a great song.

[JannyMae]

Camojack, I love that movie! Cary Grant was great in it! "Just the ladies?"

[JannyMae]

Oh, and I believe I'll pass on the elderberry wine.

[Sen. Durbin]

Pretty soon, our children will no longer be able to breathe our air. The Sierra Club told me that Chimpy's environmental destruction has led to an unprecedented concentration of arsenic, mercury, and the deadly element halliburtonium in the atmosphere. Meanwhile, Ken Lay is laughing all the way to the bank. Is the swaggering KKKowboy's world really the one we want for our children's futures?