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camojack

You're making a mockery of Liberals, Larry.
(Interesting parallel, that...)

CKCat

Mr. Hoolie,

In addition to what Larry already mentioned. It's hardly the first time we've had that same or a similar conversation about our shared abhorrence for violence and our love for peace!!

It's close enough to our hearts that we've even text messaged about it. I happened to be in NY peacefully protesting the Rethug Convention and Larry & a few of our BB progressive homies were in San Fransisco, making certain that none of our backpacks & duffelbags were still lying around from our Peace Protest in March of 03. Yeah, the pigs confiscated most of them, but we sure as shootin' weren't going to feed the capitalist monster by letting any left over perfectly good molotov cocktails, crowbars, et al., go to waste!! HAYEL NO!

The picture phone made Larry & them feel like they were a part of the action in NY, too. Especially since I, in my brightly colored tie-dyed "KILL BUSH" T was only like 2 feet away from where some o' my Peace Peeps knocked a pig detective off his scooter and kicked the war mongering crap outta him.
It's a bummer none of us could afford going to Athens in March 03 for the protests at the AmeriKKKan embassy there. It would have been a trip to see that riot-cop/pig go up in flames! Damn! One o' my anti-war peeps had a good arm & aim with that gas bomb! WOO HOO! whoa, dude. You stirred it UP!! In my minds ear I'm hearing Streisand sing.....♪♪♪ Memories......♪♪♪
I've got Islam's music man Cat Stevens, Peace Train, cued up next.

Good times on the anti-war front, baby!
Peace Out!

stoorat

Mademoiselle Cornhoolio,

Offensive? OFFENSIVE? You apparently have no idea what offensive really is, my frynd. The proprietyr of this blog speaks eloquently and passionately about the plight of the poor, the weak, the downtrodden and huddled masses of reservation-bound casino owners and oil-rich but love-lorn sheiks with mild (and wholly justified) penchants for genocide. And that's about it.

You haven't met "offensive" until you've spent some time talking to me. Larry sells homeopathic complexion darkeners and industrial strength, mind-expanding cleansers for a living. Do you know what I do? Well, DO YA?

I'll tell you. I organize and finance charity drives in Jewish retirment homes to raise money for children who's families don't have the resources to buy them Christmas presents. I developed a toxic pesticide for use in gypsy moth infested temperate rainforests, saving millions of forested acres and causing congenital deformities in thousands of newborn infants. I have huge investments in a company that's researching a cure for HIV, and the factories that produce the drug are tearing great big, Star Jones-sized holes in the ozone layer as we speak. I embezzled millions of dollars from the US Dept. of Education and the Red Cross, laundered it, and donated it to womyn's shelters across the United States.

Because the 3-strikes law was sending so many pizza thieves and jaywalkers to prison for life, I successfully petitioned to have it repealed. As a result, a convicted multiple-murderer was released and, less than a week later, he brutalized and butchered his mother and his ex-girlfriend.

I picket affirmative action firms who hire non-union labor, volunteer at neo-nazi sponsored homeless shelters, set fire to corporate-owned pharmaceutical laboratories to support and promote socialized medicine, and perform abortions for spotted owls.

I am also a notary public.

Che Guevarito

Wow, Stoorat, you're a busy persyn. Do you validate parking?

Maria in Iowa

trying to see if
i can blog like
rosie um i mean ro
been reading her

too much and now
i write like her too
is it supposed to
be poetic
cuz it ain't

thanks heaps larry
i now only think
in lowercase

Friend of USA


It's also progressives who have made it "immoral" ( illegal too?...) to use DDT in third world countries.
So now instead of a minuscule number of people dying of cancer that may or may not have been caused by DDT ( inconclusives studies after decades of research ), TENS of THOUSANDS - most of them children - are dying of diseases such as malaria that are carried by thriving DDT free happy little mosquitoes ...

Sorry my dear progressives but you just can not use the " not in our name " slogan in this case.

Bubblehead

Ekke ekke ekke ptang zoo boing

dooley

DDT? That reminds me, I need some for my sink!

stoorat

Wow, Stoorat, you're a busy persyn. Do you validate parking?

Only for hybrid/eco-friendly SUVs driven by Wal-Mart executives.

Nan King

Damn you, Liberal Larry, for bringing back horribly repressed memories! In fact, I was raped at a Sunday picnic!

Right Thinking Girl

I organize and finance charity drives in Jewish retirment homes to raise money for children who's families don't have the resources to buy them Christmas presents

And you call yourself progressive? You're clearly part of the theocracy.

Tsk tsk.

Bubblehead

Lynnndie Ennglannd's parents should have taken advantage of this service.

adam & stever

"TENS of THOUSANDS - most of them children - are dying of diseases such as malaria..."

Haven't you ever heard of sustainable population growth... wink, wink.

Hankmeister

Thank Gaia that Lynndie England didn't have an Abrams tank at her disposal. I'm sure she would have piled them all naked in a pyramid and run them over just for the kicks.

And I'm so outraged at the pictures of naked people, particularly of those who have been shooting at our troops. Okay, forget about Playboy, Hustler, Playgirl, snuff magazines and the various child porn rags because all that is voluntary. Besides, the lighting was so unflattering. Couldn't they have done something to make the photos less "flat" and more dynamic? And composition, I really felt the one with the dog and frightened prisoner was far too staged. I see more teeth on dogs who chase me on my afternoon jog. Most importantly, it all violates my artistic sensibilities.

I'm also very concerned how all these new Iraqi homo-erotic sado-masochist photos are going to depress the international market for all those hard-working pornographers who have a wife and kids to feed. Okay, he may be paying alimony to his four former wives and hush money to his mistresses but we can't have these amateurish pictures crowding out the respectable professionalism of homo-erotic now can we. Therein lies my true outrage. Forget all that crap about how Saddam murdered prisoners by the thousands at Abu Ghraib, it's probably lies and all the videos on the Iraqi market were probably faked by the snuff film industry in Brazil.

Bubblehead

Man, did Bush disable comments here? Either that, or Hankmeister seriously harshed our mellow with his last post...

Friend of USA

How about a joke;

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!
"Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare. Eyes riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a cowboy named Jack from Carmichael Saskatchewan stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt. One button at a time.
No one moves.
He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest.
She gasps...
He whispers...."Iron this -- and then get me a beer."

Bubblehead

That's not a very progressive joke (although it does make fun of cowboys, it makes womyn look weak and lusty for oppressive men). Here's my attempt:
A rabbit comes out of a rabbit hole and sees a bunch of Trids running. One of the Trids tells the rabbit that he better run too, or Bushitler will kick him. The rabbit begins to run with all the Trids. Soon Bu-shaitan catches up with the rabbit and picks him up. The rabbit is scared and says, "Please don't kick me, evil theocratic dictator". And the pee-Resident replies, "Silly Rabbit, kicks are for Trids."

And then he sold the rabbit to Halliburton.

I hope you like my progressive joke.

camojack

So, like, what's all this about people putting cereal on their genitals?

Man, just when you think you've heard it all, they come up with something else and sh*t...

Hankmeister

Bubblehead,

Great joke! Hee hee. If I had removed by tin-foil hat earlier I might of thought of that. Please tell me I don't need to ask permission to plagiarize it since we are all open-minded progressives here.

Bu-shaitan? Isn't that out of the Koran?

Cricket

Shaitan is out of Dune. Shaitan is the Great Worm who will be killed by the Spice Girls when they strike oil on the desert planet of Iraq. Osama Mau Adib is the mouse that will wear the Fremen Ovali Wet Suit in the full moon of the fifth house of Halliburton...

pass the bong.

Bubblehead

Since all copyright laws are made by the powerful corporations to protect their profits in video game magazines publishing and anime porn, please feel free. Yes, Shaitan is Arabic for "Bush", from the Book of Sorrows 13:7: "And Bu-shaitan will come from the place below, and eat of your plenty, and drink your last beer, and those places he walks shall be cursed forever."

Pol Pothead

Dudes! So, like, we're sharing progressyve jokes and sh*t now? Kewl! How about this one my bud Achmed Achmed Mohammed Achmed Mohammed al-Kalynbatri told me:

"A Catholic priest, a Protestant preacher, a rabbi, and a cowboy all get on a plane together.
Then it blows up over the Atlantic. Allahu akhbar!"

Or, like, this one had 'em howling down at the Lavrenti Beria Memorial Health Cooperative's Venereal Disease Center:

1st Persyn: "Knock knock!"
2nd Persyn: "Who's there?"
1st Persyn: "George W. Bush."
2nd Persyn: "F*ck you, you warmongering fascist neocon bastard!"

But, like, is it even right to laugh and have fun while neocons and theocrats plot and plan and walk around un-incinerated and sh*t? Maybe there's, like, something to be said for Iddybosom's approach of dreary, relentless, saccharine-coated, stultifyingly condescending earnestness. I feel bad now, and sh*t. Maybe I'll follow the Professym's fine example and do penance for my frivolity and sh*t, like spending the rest of the evening with, like, flaming butane-soaked clothespins clipped to my evil man-parts.

Actually, I'll bet I could get an NEA grant for doing that...

Bilgeman

Hey;

Any sign of Liberal Leninist Larry? After his posting about the shame of Genital Mockery, I suspect he might have responded to one of them "Lengthen Your Penis" Internet scams, and may have done himself a grievous injury.

Ah well, at least maybe this'll make him stop doing the "Buck-Nekkid Boogie" in my front yard.

Funny, he never minded the jack-booted fascist thuglice mocking his genitals before...and believe me, they were most cruel and hurtful agents of the VRWC.

Regards;

Che Guevarito

My favorite progressyve joke is a well-known classic:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because of 2000 years of white, male hegemony.


Miss Cleo

Pol Pothead, your secret fantasy is that when you die or your brain fries (whichever comes first) you will be taken to the bosom of Iddybutt.

De cahds, dey nevah lie!

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