The Shrub shipped his woman off to tour the Middle East, hoping her vacant smile and artificial personality would win the hearts of the folks he's been bombing for four years. Instead of adoring crowds, she was predictably greeted with boos and jeers. Halliburton Cheney told her she'd be welcomed with flowers in the streets, but alas, all poor Laura Bush got were piles of razzberries.
It's a sharp contrast from our previous First Lady, who was warmly welcomed to the Middle East with shouts of "Allah bless you, Hillary!" and "I kill three joos for you, Hillary! Three joos!" Perhaps Mrs. Bush should have taken a lesson from her predecessor and kissed Suha Arafat rather than give her the cold shoulder.
I'm not talking about a measly peck on the cheek, either. The damage Bush has done to America's credibilty is too extensive for half measures. If we're ever to win back the trust and friendship of the peaceloving Muslim peoples, Laura Bush will have to slip Suha Arafat some serious tongue-age. I'm afraid that no less than five minutes of full-on tonsil hockey between Laura and Suha will put us back onto the Roadmap of Peace.
Being from Texas, I doubt Laura Bush is open-minded and spiritually mature enough to enjoy kissing another woman, though. That's why it is so imperative that we elect Hillary Clinton in 2008. President Hillary will never hestitate to make out with the wives of world leaders, including those of murderous madmen. Bill Clinton wouldn't either, which is why he'll make an excellent First Man.
Suha's succulent lips await you, Mrs. Bush. She's single now, and look for a good time. Will you pucker up and do what it takes to insure world peace? Or will you continue to prance around the Dome of the Rock in a black scarf, trying desperately to look like Jackie O while your husband pushes us closer to global annihilation?
Being from Texas, I doubt Laura Bush is open-minded and spiritually mature enough to enjoy kissing another woman, though.
Shrubya, as much as I despise his homophobic policies, is remarkably open to certain gay rituals. He may actually be open to a little girl-on-girl action.
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 24, 2005 at 07:07 PM
Splash Day. Is that like an Outing of Your Queer Side?
You get dunked in Galveston Bay and reborn as a gay or lesbian or transgendered persyn?
Posted by: Snarky One | May 24, 2005 at 07:50 PM
As Paul Reiser once said about two women making out; I agree with the both of them!
And I agree with Paul!
And if two women french kissing will bring us closer to world peace, then who could be against THAT?!
Posted by: Friend of USA | May 24, 2005 at 07:51 PM
Amen, Abu!
When I suggested this idea to my wife, it became clear to me that she just doesn't want world peace. I really, really want to be in the middle of the peace process, but I'd be satisfied to just watch it take place.
But I guess she just isn't as good a persyn as me. We men just want peace more than the womyn in oour lives.
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 24, 2005 at 08:00 PM
What Che meant to say, before Shrubya messed with his keyboard:
"We men just want peace more than the womyn in oour lives.
Posted by: CKCat | May 24, 2005 at 10:05 PM
Peace...or piece? Methinks the latter...
Posted by: camojack | May 24, 2005 at 11:30 PM
Camojack, you beat me to it!
Posted by: JannyMae | May 25, 2005 at 04:52 AM
That Laura Bush is no Kid Bastard, that's for sure...
Posted by: Supernatural Rabbit Scribe | May 25, 2005 at 06:11 AM
HOMO ALERT! HOMO ALERT! HOMO ALERT! HOMO ALERT!
This site's anti-homo security perimeter has been breached by a full-on flamer.
Superneutered Bunny Scrotum is one of those pathetic losers that posts on MaxxiePad Grrrls pathetic, pro-homo site.
Hey Fag, Go back to your anti-american, same sex loving, commie blog.
Come on Larry. Can't you keep these dipshits from posting on your site. Your allowing this disgusting human being to share thoughts with your readers is a travesty.
Hey, Rabbit Balls...At least Larry doesn't delete every post that makes him out to be gay like that stupid, asshole dyke Tampon Grrl.
Posted by: Ducks Suck | May 25, 2005 at 06:40 AM
Great, that is all I need. For women to start kissing each other again. What is this, the 1970's? Women, you have an available, fine catch right here. You won't have to worry about me walking out on you either. I am not easy to get rid of either. I have the restraining orders to prove it.
Posted by: Lonely Man | May 25, 2005 at 06:44 AM
Camojack, you beat me to it!
Posted by: JannyMae | May 25, 2005 04:52 AM
Well, maybe, but only by 5 hours or so...a mere eye blink in geological time. :-)
BTW, I went over to that there MoxieGrrrl site; the comment there by Supernatural Rabbit Scribe was anything but sympathetic to hyr cause. While I was there, I posted the following:
"Happy Republican said...
Hmmm...the confirmations the Democrats wanted to keep blocking are starting to happen now.
What was I supposed to be upset about again?"
Posted by: camojack | May 25, 2005 at 07:15 AM
Trust me. The superneutered one is a full on homo-loving commie. Don't be fooled Camojacker. You need to read between the lines, not the thighs.
Posted by: Ducks Suck | May 25, 2005 at 07:28 AM
Hey Che, have you been to the official Che Guevara forum?
http://www.comradeche.com/forums/
It's a hoot.
Posted by: Comrade_Smirnoff | May 25, 2005 at 08:42 AM
Ducks Suck, you're never gonna get me in the sack if you keep treating me this way...
Posted by: Supernatural Rabbit Scribe | May 25, 2005 at 09:38 AM
Ducks Suck
.........but do they inhale?
Posted by: Beelzebubba J Clinton | May 25, 2005 at 10:42 AM
If Pickles really wanted to support world peace, she'd have her twins follow noted humanitarian Posh Spice's lead... Maybe even with the tonsil-hockey action... I gotta go now...
Posted by: Bubblehead | May 25, 2005 at 10:55 AM
Trust me. The superneutered one is a full on homo-loving commie.
Aren't we all? In fact, I think I speak for all progressives when I say that about the thing that can be said critically about homosexuality is that it does not contribute enough to the abortion industry. Thank the Sexually Ambiguous Diety for government funding, or gays would cause Planned Parenthood employees to starve. Which extols the merits of the "commie" thing.
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 25, 2005 at 11:49 AM
Hey Che, have you been to the official Che Guevara forum?
Doesn't it give you a warm fuzzy feeling when you see how many people were moved to socialism after seeing "The Motorcycle Diaries"? (Damn it! I promised myself I wouldn't cry!)
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 25, 2005 at 11:54 AM
"Doesn't it give you a warm fuzzy feeling..."
Uhm...I got that feeling before I ever saw that. Perhaps it was the caterpillar in my Hanes® for her.
Posted by: Ditzy Chick | May 25, 2005 at 12:44 PM
Che,
Even after she's had a full bottle of wine my tiny 5'1'' girlfriend only goes as far as saying
" maybe someday "...Cruel!!!
What is a man - so passionate about world peace as I am - to do, but search the internet for inspirational short videos?
I feel your pain brother Che, I feel your pain...
Until we get world peace, I hope the following adress can give you some comfort, Peace Che!
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/2girlskiss.html
Posted by: Friend of USA | May 25, 2005 at 01:04 PM
Hey Guys,Gals and Transmutatedgenderbenders:
I am truly sorry for saying those mean things about the Supernatural One. I was watching Sean Hannity this morning and somehow I ended up channeling Sen. Byrd pre 1940's and I just lost all control.
I am so sorry. From now on I promise to carry a bible in my hand whenever there are cameras around.
Larry. Please forgive me. I come onto your turf, on your dime and call you a Fag. That is just wrong.
I don't blame you if you ban me, I deserve it. Oh, and I also lost it on MoxieGrrl. Could someone go to her and please tell her I am sorry and that it was not my fault but that freakin Hannity did some kind of Repug Voodoo Mojo on my ass and I handled it very poorly.
All Apologies.
Posted by: Ducks Suck | May 25, 2005 at 07:10 PM
Abu, those girls should get the Nobel Prize.
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 25, 2005 at 08:10 PM
Ducks Suck,
We all know about the bad jou-jou the Repugs have given us. But that was insensitive of you to apologize. Progressyves never apologize when they are wrong, as they are full of love and love has blinders when it comes to transgendered and other progessyve issues and sh*t because as Algore, the Ultimate Progessyve told Erich Segal, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." And we know Progessyves are full of it.
Posted by: Cricket | May 26, 2005 at 06:05 AM
Cricket,
Thanks. You helped me resolve a little conundrum.
I think it was Camojack who recently posted here that Larry is the guy "everyone loves to hate".
Actually that's not true for me. I hate hating Larry because hate is not a compassionate progressive famyly value! So, I was beating myself up over that, all the while forgetting that I owed no apology because since "love means you never have to say you're sorry", then obviously, by cancelling itself out, hating to hate someone means the same.......right?
Thank you.
Posted by: CKCat | May 26, 2005 at 08:45 AM
P.S.
Before anyone fears I'm wimping out on our progressyve mandate to hate the Shrub. Fear not, I have my Progressyve [hate] Pass laminated and activated! Plus, I have copies made and filed away for future use of any non-libera...uhh...Progressyve President SEElected by fascist Rethugs.
Posted by: CKCat | May 26, 2005 at 08:59 AM