They took away our freedom. They took away our civil liberties. They even took away free school lunches for inner city children. Now, they are taking away our eyes.
According to a recent report by the FDA, the impotency medication "Viagra" causes blindness. At last, now we know why Bob Dole spent so much time hawking the drug, and it wasn't just to creep everyone out. Obviously, the GOP is creating an army of perpetually horny jazz pianists, for what evil purposes I have yet to uncover.
One thing is for certain, blind people cannot vote - nor can they bear witness to the horrible crimes of the Bush Junta. Nor can they read this entry informing them of Bush's sinister plot. Unless, of course, their monitors display in braille - but I doubt they do, thanks to Bush's slashing of funds to help the visually impaired. Meanwhile, the wealthiest 1% of Bush's Big Viagra buddies fill their pockets with the eyeballs of working families.
"Meanwhile, the wealthiest 1% of Bush's Big Viagra buddies fill their pockets with the eyeballs of working families."
You gotta love that punchline.
Posted by: Jeremy | May 27, 2005 at 06:01 PM
BAMNIT! At one time I was actually willing to give Rethuglikkkan BobDole the benefit of the doubt, since he & Lizzy had a reputation for
adopting rescue animals. Now the impeachable source of truth, Larry, enlightens me with enough evidence to expose their ruse for what's in actuality, pure & simply animal experimentation! I simply can not believe me anti-Viagra eyes!!!
This begs the question: Can anything good come out of Russell, Kansas?
I'll just betcha the basement of the Boot Hill Cafe there is the viagra lab. After they experiment with the animals they take them up to the kitchen. *Meatloaf* is, after all, supposedly their specialty! I'll just bet they had the soap operas turned up on the TV behind the cash register to drown out the sounds of the animal experimentation lab!!!! Harumph...Somewhere, I have a book of matches from that cafe and I know where to find a bunch of pharmacies!!!
Posted by: CKCat [of ELF & ALF] | May 27, 2005 at 06:35 PM
Momma tole me it would make me go blind sum day.
Damn bush...I mean Bush.
Posted by: spd rdr | May 27, 2005 at 08:15 PM
I think it may be what some guys do with the result of Viagra that causes blindness...
Posted by: camojack | May 28, 2005 at 01:27 AM
After the lawyers are done with this one, Las Vegas is gonna be full of horny blind guys.
Posted by: Brad | May 28, 2005 at 06:41 AM
My girlfriend has a very rare form of blindness; Even though she can see the size number, she can not see the price tag numbers when buying women's clothes with her credit card, she can not even see the total at the cash register.
Posted by: Friend of USA | May 28, 2005 at 06:46 AM
As Che can assert, there is a safe and natural alternative to drugs such as viagra.
That natural solution can not only improve the quality of a man's erections but also help bring world peace at the same time...
Posted by: Friend of USA | May 28, 2005 at 07:13 AM
If you marry her, it'll get worse, Abu. It's a progressive condition, and not in a good way.
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 28, 2005 at 07:15 AM
FOUSA said,
"That natural solution can not only improve the quality of a man's erections but also help bring world peace at the same time..."
What an incredibly sexist and un-progressive thing to say!!!!!!
Following the success of my recent surgeries, this womyn's erections are of a better quality than that of any mere 'man'. As I control the pressure vent, I can also enjoy my erections longer than any man with a boxcar of little blue pills!!!! And it gets even better if I'm not alone. So if any fascist, sexist Rethuglican neoKKKon tries to mess with me, I'll use my love missile to rip him a new one!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell | May 28, 2005 at 09:40 AM
Just let Lonely Man try to stalk me!!!!!!
Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell | May 28, 2005 at 09:42 AM
Rosie O' D is so dreeeeaaaamy!
Posted by: Janet Reno | May 28, 2005 at 09:48 AM
I ♥ Janet Reno
But it hasn't been easy. Those knock down, drag out fights over who gets to be top were vicious. I lost a molar once, so I broke her nose. Now we arm wrestle. I usually win, unless I let her ;)
Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell | May 28, 2005 at 10:30 AM
They took away our freedom. They took away our civil liberties. They even took away free school lunches for inner city children. Now, they are taking away our eyes.
You mean... our hard-ons took our civil liberties?!
And and as it turns out, muslim protestors are just about as creative as Liberal Larry (just more hateful).
Posted by: Tyler Durden | May 28, 2005 at 11:47 AM
I'm going to stop taking Viagra. I already have to wear glasses. So in just a few weeks I will stop, maybe, sorta, if I go any blinder. Well if they publish any more reports I certainly will.
Had a thought and since it was my first one thought I would share it.
If Viagra is used for sex and it cause blindeness then does any kind of sexual medecine cause blindness. I think maybe it does because I know after quite a few beers my vision is so bad I've been known to go home with German Shepard. (No not the dog a real German Shepard.)
Posted by: Old Man | May 28, 2005 at 02:15 PM
Okay, another reason not to like Tyler, besides him having no sense of humor. He turned on those evil Italics again. Someone please turn them off before I go into convulsions from fear and loathing.
Posted by: JannyMae | May 28, 2005 at 02:31 PM
They're not italics, they're just a little droopy. It happens as you age, and is nothing to be ashamed of.
We'll just pop the little blue pill, and WHAMMO! THEY'RE POINTING TO THE SKY AGAIN!
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 28, 2005 at 03:02 PM
We'll try that again.
and WHAMMO! THEY'RE POINTING TO THE SKY AGAIN!
Posted by: Che Guevarito | May 28, 2005 at 03:02 PM
Bless you, Che. Perky is much better than droopy...especially at my age!
Posted by: JannyMae | May 28, 2005 at 03:47 PM
By the way, the convulsions have stopped. Che, you are my hero!
Posted by: JannyMae | May 28, 2005 at 04:30 PM
Janet Reno, don't let Rosie O' poke your eye out with her missile of love.
And, for goodness sakes those of you who have lost one eye using Viagra follow Dr. Howard Pomeranz advice, "...Viagra users who suffer NAION in one eye should be cautioned that continued use might raise the risk of vision loss in the other eye."
For those of you ignorant redneck bible-thumping oil-pumping KKKervatives, NAION is "Non-arteritic Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuropathy" Or, to simplify it for your chimp size brains, think of it as another set of eyeballs gouged out and placed in the pockets of Big Bush Daddy Warbuck's Viagra buddies. KKKarl Rove's pocks are bulging with eyeballs. Those are not glass marbles KKKarl Rove happily shoots across the White house floor for fun - they are human eyeballs!
Posted by: Ledger | May 29, 2005 at 12:33 AM
Yeah, and I bet we'll find Haliburton is behind it all. It's getting now where even good adulterous sex and fornication isn't sacred or safe anymore. Damn neo-kkkon, multi-national kkkapitalists.
Posted by: Hankmeister | May 29, 2005 at 05:39 AM
23,000,000 users of Viagra and 50 reported cases of blindness...
Posted by: Friend of USA | May 29, 2005 at 06:26 AM
Looks like 50 new multi-millionaires to me. I'll be cheering on the progressyve personal injury lawyers (like my hero, John Edwards) when they give their summation to the jury: "All my client wanted was a boner; is that too much to ask? In America, men should be free to have boners without fear of going blind because of greedy capitalist pharmacy companies. Look at my client; he's sitting there without a boner, because of his fear of losing the rest of his sight. The only way he will ever be able to get a boner again is if you give him the $72 million he deserves; then he'll be able to marry an 18 year old hottie -- just between us, all of us know that 18 year olds are the only non-chemical way for older men to get boners. Look at his current wife; she's 75 years old! Does she give you a boner? Of course not... do the right thing, and let this man have a boner again. A great persyn once said, 'Given the choice between vision and a boner, I'll take both'. And in conclusion... bonerbonerboner."
Posted by: Bubblehead | May 29, 2005 at 07:57 AM
Warning: you could take an eye out with that thing!
Posted by: me | May 29, 2005 at 09:21 AM
Bubble head is on to something with the personal injury lawyers:
Kedwards: ..."Look at his current wife; she's 75 years old and blind! Does she give you a boner? Of course not. Her eyes were accidentally poked out by her husband's boner in a blind Viagra intoxicated romp. Does she give me a boner. No. I have not had one since John Kerry patted my butt - that sexy John will make your putter stand on end. Now, given the loss of eyeballs to the Greedy Gouging Viagra Gang, Bob Dole and his Big Oil Buddies, do the right thing, and let this man have a 72 million boner again. A great persyn once said, 'Given the choice between 72 million, vision and a boner, I'll take them all'. And in conclusion, have pitty on my poor limp client who has been abused by the Imperialistic Pill Pushers and Bob's Big Oil Buddies... 72 million is small price for a set of eyeballs, and a prick ."
Posted by: Ledger | May 29, 2005 at 02:19 PM