Susan Lucci Finally Wins Pulitzer Prize

The incorrigible Erica Kane has walked down the aisle seventeen times, but when it comes to the Pulitzer Prize, soap diva Susan Lucci has ever been the bridesmaid, never the bride. This year, the curse has finally been broken.

Over the past twenty seasons of ABC's All My Children., Erica Kane has battled alcoholism, drug addiction, amnesia, multiple personality disorder, paralysis, demon posession, narcolepsy, menstrual cramps and chronic halitosis. She's been in three car crashes, six plane crashes, five night club fires, and was stranded on a deserted island with a man she despises no less than six times. She was raped by her father, raped by her brother, raped by her ex-husband, raped by a midget lesbian biker gang, and even raped by her own evil twin. She's lost nine babies, had six abortions, put three children up for adoption (two of which turned out to be midget lesbian bikers), faked her own death twice, and committed nine separate murders for which she served a combined total of six episodes in prison. Yet it wasn't until writers teamed Erica up with armed insurgents and had her willingly participate in the public execution of Iraqi election workers, hang the charred corpses of infidels on the Pine Valley Bridge, and dance atop the burning wreckage of a military Humvee, that Susan Lucci finally became the darling of the Pulitzer Prize Commission.

Although the Pulitzer has always eluded Lucci, she has won several Golden Globes, an Emmy, two People's Choice Awards, and was nominated for a Nobel Prize for a 2003 episode in which she cursed western civilization and then wiped her ass with an American flag.

So congratulations and a great big bottle of Febreeze to Susan Lucci, winner of the 2005 Pulitzer Prize for Journalism!

Comments

[JannyMae]

Now you meanies stop picking on Che! Everybodies computer, "burps," every now and again! Che is a good progressive who is trying to educate the evil vile neocons--oh wait, that's Howie! Sorry, my mistake.

[CKCat]

Che G just doesn't want to be out vignetted by howie, so he repeats himself repeats himself.

Che,
If you want to be the undoing of your *opponent* howie--just challenge him to a crossword puzzle. heh!

[I'm so confident of the outcome, I advise you to order his lily white jacket with extra long sleeves and back buckle in advance.]

[Che Guevarito]

Howie/Dean04pres/HotLibChick are not my opponents! We are comrades, spreading progressivism through Amerikkka, like a case of It-Burns-When-I-Pee through Chappaqua.

And do you really think they would have any trouble with a crossword?

[JannyMae]

"And do you really think they would have any trouble with a crossword?"--Che

Filling it in, or having what they fill in make sense? Boggles the mind, as CKC would say.

I have no problem with Che repeating his vignettes, as long as the olive oil is extra virgin, and in ample supply. Lubes it going down the throat, dontcha know! But hold the haggis, please!

[CKCat]

Heh! Janny Mae,
I had, myself, considered an EVOO tie in, but just didn't. Good on ya.

Che,
Do you need some Premarin™? Black Cohosh licorice? Evening Primrose Oil? Borage Oil? Estrogen?...Your last vignette was all vinegar, no Extra Virgin Olive Oil. You shoudl listen to Janny Mae. You mihgt laern somtehing!

Yeah, those spelling bee Kings (and Queen) Boggle™ the mind and Scrabble™ the brain. Just no points made or earned.

For about the last 10 years, every January in Manitou Springs (close to me), they have a fruitcake toss. I was just wondering how many Hazmat crews would be required to be on hand at a Haggis Hurl? Aiyeeeeee! Perhaps they could hold it at the Humane Society and let the doggies & kitties "clean up". Eeewww, still.

[jeff]

Oh, I suppose Dierdre Hall doesn't cop one just because she campaigned for Kerry??

[coach sale]

Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.