Susan Lucci Finally Wins Pulitzer Prize

The incorrigible Erica Kane has walked down the aisle seventeen times, but when it comes to the Pulitzer Prize, soap diva Susan Lucci has ever been the bridesmaid, never the bride. This year, the curse has finally been broken.

Over the past twenty seasons of ABC's All My Children., Erica Kane has battled alcoholism, drug addiction, amnesia, multiple personality disorder, paralysis, demon posession, narcolepsy, menstrual cramps and chronic halitosis. She's been in three car crashes, six plane crashes, five night club fires, and was stranded on a deserted island with a man she despises no less than six times. She was raped by her father, raped by her brother, raped by her ex-husband, raped by a midget lesbian biker gang, and even raped by her own evil twin. She's lost nine babies, had six abortions, put three children up for adoption (two of which turned out to be midget lesbian bikers), faked her own death twice, and committed nine separate murders for which she served a combined total of six episodes in prison. Yet it wasn't until writers teamed Erica up with armed insurgents and had her willingly participate in the public execution of Iraqi election workers, hang the charred corpses of infidels on the Pine Valley Bridge, and dance atop the burning wreckage of a military Humvee, that Susan Lucci finally became the darling of the Pulitzer Prize Commission.

Although the Pulitzer has always eluded Lucci, she has won several Golden Globes, an Emmy, two People's Choice Awards, and was nominated for a Nobel Prize for a 2003 episode in which she cursed western civilization and then wiped her ass with an American flag.

So congratulations and a great big bottle of Febreeze to Susan Lucci, winner of the 2005 Pulitzer Prize for Journalism!

Comments

[Maria in Iowa]

"Eluded" has only one L.

Me no help meself.

[brainsample]

Wow!

Susan has nice legs!

[Che Guevarito]

Why do they always portray lesbian midget biker gangs in a negative light?

[Cricket]

No wonder she had to get even. All her problems started in the Ray-gun admin, with Pappy Bush as his mini me and it hasn't let up. No wonder her life on daytime has been in the toilet. It is Bush's fault.

Larry, you sure have a nose for news and $hit.

[G-Spotmaker]

I did her....real hard.

Trust me it really hurt bad. That Bitch is a full on old skank that should be turned inside out with a broom handle.

I still love her. Even though she's my grandmama.

[Pol Pothead]

Dude, this is, like, SO totally bogus. The Reichpubikkkhairs have, like, gotten to the Prize Committee, or some sh*t. Those bigots, like, didn't even CONSIDER giving the Prize to any of the great Islamist soap stars, such as Kadriyah al-Boondi, who plays Fatima al-Kapohnzvawlt on 'All My Exploded Children'. Or, like, Achmed Achmed Mohammed Achmed al-Yukankahlmi, famous as the irascible Dr. Manjiz on 'As the World Burns'. Man, that episode where he had to honor-kill his five-year-old daughter for having a male imaginary friend was, like, classic TV.

Man, artists are, like, always the first to feel the bootheel of Zionist fascism...

[JannyMae]

Hey, I used to watch, "All My Children," and you are not giving Erica nearly enough credit. She did all the things listed above in the first year! Of course she didn't earn the Pulitzer until this episode on the Pine Valley bridge! And I missed it. Man, I'm bummed.

[Liberal Larry]

Enlarged photos should be working now. Didn't the Pope die or something? You'd think Bush would have better things to do than fiddle with my blog.

If he goes blind, it's his own damn fault.

[sorecarphagus]

How can anyone be sure that the Pope is really dead? He may just be in a vegitative state.

[Friend of USA]

If someone ever introduced himself to you as ;

John John Smith John Smith Smith John Smith Johnson Smith johnson

Would you say that person is insane ?

I would I I would would I would not not I would not not ,
why why would why would I why I would I why I would I Say I say say that?

There there is there is nothing is nothing is wrong with wrong is with with that that !

You You Bunch You of bunch You bunch of of bunch of of bunch bunch of racists !

Have have a have a a nice a have nice have nice a nice a a have a nice day!

[howie]

Minutemen HA! More like racist neocon vigilanties. Calling thm vigilantes is the only thing Shrub hasdone right but its not enough. No where near enough. They call undocumented migrants illegal but what was ilegal was the war against Mexico in 1848 where America took one third of Mexico for her own. You call it the Southwest. I call it the South West Bank. Just like the Isrealis took the Palestinian's land.Midnight oil did a hit back in the 80s called Beds Are Burning about the Europeans taking land from the Native Austrailians. But it also applies to America's policy toward her neighbors south of the border. America must wake up before it's bed is burning.

The time has come to say fair's fair
To pay the rent, to pay our share
The time has come, a fact's a fact
It belongs to them, let's give it back

[MBHockey13]

I agree with howie. NO MORE WARS AGAINST MEXICO!

Though that burning bed movie with Loretta Swit was cool, where she charred her husband for forcing her to read the bible and shit.

[Cheney W. Halliburton]

It's about time she finally put out. The Pulitzer committee was getting tired of her "saving myself for the Nobel committee" line.

[DItzy Chick]

"Though that burning bed movie with Loretta Swit was cool, where she charred her husband for forcing her to read the bible and shit."

He shoulda pulled the feeding tube on her first. What a sick chick for insisting she be kept in a persistent constipated state [PCS].!

Why did Ms. Lucci drop the Pavarotti from her name? Doesn't she sing (soap) opera anymore?

[Red Loser]

"The incorrigible Erica Kane has walked down the aisle seventeen times, but when it comes to the Pulitzer Prize, soap diva Susan Lucci has ever been the bridesmaid, never the bride."

Larry, I am offended at your description of a non-inclusive heterosexual wedding! The proper expression is "ever the partnersmaid, never the life partner."

[CKCat]

Excellent point, Red Loser. You'd think Progressive Prince Howie would have guided Lib Larry along further into the virtue of progresiveness, but noooooo. LINO Larry spends too much time hanging out at facist blogs like Scott Ott's and sure enough, he starts slipping into slime of the VRWC.

We need some Minutemen over here for Lib Larry intervention. I'm afraid the DHS has forced him to attend night classes at a re-education camp.

[BobTheBuilder]

Ahhhh. ... Professym Chomstein is still developing his whacko ... err progressive curriculum for that group of rowdy, slackers with no respect for authority ... err the 37 midgets enrolled at Evergreen and taking the Professym's class.

New assignment #1:
Professym Chomstein has the midget lesbian biker gang ... err shared study group form a cooperative pod where they will embrace differences, foster tolerance and understanding, and celebrate cultural, ethnic and racial awareness by practicing group Kama Sutra with Susan Lucci.

New assignment #2
Members of the oppressed midget peoples form teams ... err Pod Groups and compete ...err begin to break the shackles that bind them! by trying to top the Professym's distance record as they send that sawed-off little Erica Kane sailing out of class, skidding across the linoleum, and crashing into those "hypothetical" trash cans at the end of the hall.

New Assignment #3
The little peckers...err Midget Studies and the Kama Sutra 101 students, will learn to be staunch defenders of Free Speech as Erica will lecture them about the best ways to team up with armed insurgents, dance atop burning wreckage, curse western civilization, and demonstrate along with Professym Chomstein the best and most stylish ways to wipe their ass with an American flag or a Bible.

I'm sure that with these new and insane ... err academic program exercises the Professym will not have any more incidents like he experienced on the first day of his class when a handful of midgets stood up and waddled out the door.

I can’t wait for Professym Chomsteins next Evergreen update!

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

I can't believe I was overlooked - again - for the Pulitzer. Did no one appreciate my expose on how Bush is a Nazi stooge under the control of Dick Cheney, who uses the Patriot Act to arrest and imprison alternative fuel scientists, so Halliburton can maintain global hegemony at the expense of our global climate?

[DancesWithBullets]

http://www.pulitzer.org/year/2005/breaking-news-photography/works/warzone%20015.jpg

Finealy MC hammer gets the respect he deserves.

[Che Guevarito]

I actually thought Susan would win the Pulitzer in 1993 for her coverage of the U.S. occupation of Somalia following Mohammed Fara Aidid's decision to remove the feeding tube from his beloved rival clan members.

Now, THAT was good journalism and great TV! Not only did the Aidid secure an overwhelming victory against the Imperial Amerikkkan Occupiers Corporation by killing 18 of their stormtroopers, but it only cost the Somalis 1000+ of their own freedom fighters to do so. And best of all, it was Bush Sr.'s fault we were there in the first place!

Today's newsies paint a picture of hope and morality by showing nonstop images of purple-inked fingers, toppling statues, and newly built schools. I prefer a less Beaver Cleaver form of reality, and seeing Susan drag those Amerikkkan corpses through the streets of Mogadishu was a spiritual moment for me. I have personally never been so proud to be anti-American.

[Che Guevarito]

I actually thought Susan would win the Pulitzer in 1993 for her coverage of the U.S. occupation of Somalia following Mohammed Fara Aidid's decision to remove the feeding tube from his beloved rival clan members.

Now, THAT was good journalism and great TV! Not only did the Aidid secure an overwhelming victory against the Imperial Amerikkkan Occupiers Corporation by killing 18 of their stormtroopers, but it only cost the Somalis 1000+ of their own freedom fighters to do so. And best of all, it was Bush Sr.'s fault we were there in the first place!

Today's newsies paint a picture of hope and morality by showing nonstop images of purple-inked fingers, toppling statues, and newly built schools. I prefer a less Beaver Cleaver form of reality, and seeing Susan drag those Amerikkkan corpses through the streets of Mogadishu was a spiritual moment for me. I have personally never been so proud to be anti-American.

[Friend of USA]

Who would have thought that the making of the Hollywood movie "Black hawk down " would cause a small war in Somalia?

[Loredo]

If it's worth saying once, it's worth repeating.

[Friend of USA]

Could you repeat that Loredo ? ;)

[Che Guevarito]

I'll keep saying it until it becomes the truth! Quit violating my 2nd ammendment rights by mocking me, you hate crimers!