Republicans in Congress took a brief time-out from their Major League Baseball Fanfest to force their religious beliefs on everyone today. Backed by conservative Christian fanatics, GOP lifemongers pulled out all the stops trying to prolong Schiavo's pain and suffering. Michael Schiavo's, I mean. The hell that poor man's been through since the cash from the malpractice suit ran out! But it looks like the last legal roadblack has been hurdled, and Mark McGwire ceremonially yanked out her feeding tube this afternoon to wild cheers from Death with Dignity advocates and Cardinals fans alike.
The term "hero" is used rather loosely nowadays, but Michael Schiavo is the living embodiment of heroism. The events of the past few years are not only a testament to his courage, but his loving devotion to one of the several women he's banged. When half the country and your wife's entire family insist that she must "live", it takes great courage to stand up for your convictions and shout, "No! The bitch must DIE!"
Now, at long last, she finally will.
But make no mistake: although Terri what's-her-name will soon be out of our hair, the battle to save the Great Wall Between Church and State is not over. Every minute that lifeless vegetable clings to "life" brings us closer to a fascist police state ruled by dehumanizing religious zealots. At this very moment, the Christian right continues their relentless assault on Roe v. Wade by praying and singing their little Jesus songs outside brave Michael's home. The line between Christian and Islamic Fundamentalism has never been more blurred than it is right now. Thankfully we have both the ACLU and democrats in congress dedicated to protecting our reproductive rights through the systematic euthanization of pesky invalids.
So-called Christians who proselytize about the "sanctity of life" should perhaps remove the mote from their own eye before casting any stones at glass houses. Was it not Jesus who ran the money changers out of the Temple? I'm not sure how that applies here, but it's the only Bible story I actually dig so I'm going to keep repeating it. That, and "Judge not lest ye be judged", which I like to whip out whenever the church nuts tell me to put my clothes on and get out of their yard.
Exactly Bubblehead. If her parents had expelled her when she was just a fetus, as any decent Goddess-fearing Progressive Couple SHOULD have done, Michael Schiavo would not be facing this agonizing CHOICE now, NOW WOULD HE??? AND I COULD GO SHOPPING. Time's a-wastin.
The good Admiral is obviously OD'ing on LIFE and needs a hit from the bong to restore his sense of perspective. There's entirely too much respect going on around here - take a page from RedLoser's book and go have promiscuous sex with several partners in the nearest bathhouse or public restroom. And please don't take what he said about using 'protection' too seriously - after all, that's just another Rethug attempt to deaden the joy of our natural Gaia-given urges. STD's are a myth.
Sheesh.
Posted by: Bush Ate My Soul... | March 21, 2005 at 12:01 PM
MoxieGRRRRRRL says this on her blog:
"I'd really like to ask why it's okay to execute prisoners and Iraqi citizens, but not okay to let a woman who has NO CHANCE of living any kind of productive life (i.e. can't even watch a movie if the TV was in front of her face) die... I'm just curious how that's reconciled."
She is wise beyond her years...
Posted by: Lookee what I found | March 21, 2005 at 12:56 PM
Listen folks, We need to embrace this "activist" judge whose "imposed" this "starvation" on Mrs. Schiavo.
This is a true victory for those of us who sometimes forget to feed or water our pets for weeks at a time.
All I'll have to say to animal control is that,"Rufus was in a persistent vegetative state so I withheld food and water!"
And if they shoot back with, "Sir, your dog is in a vegetative state BECAUSE you didn't feed or water it"
then I will shoot back with "What came first, the chicken on the Egg...prove it Jerk; now get off my property!!”
Posted by: Nerdwallet | March 21, 2005 at 01:32 PM
RedLoser:
"Let's see them writhe and squirm under the cruel iron grip of their antiquated morality while we run wild and free across the open fields, naked as jaybirds, to join a wild progressive orgy of free (but protected!) sex followed by abortions for any womyn who got pregnant and Death with Dignity for anyone who contracted an STD during the orgy."
Stay off my yard, you freaks.
Regards;
Posted by: Bilgeman | March 21, 2005 at 02:01 PM
Lookee,
I am glad that MoxieGrrl believes that lying in bed all day watching movies is key to the formula for leading a "productive life." This is a resounding affirmation of my daily routine.
Posted by: Red Loser | March 21, 2005 at 02:18 PM
I like that idea. Productivity as a indicator of whether someone needs to be exterminated or not. Think of all the money we'd save once we clear out the old folks homes and mental hospitals. There's a kid with Down's Syndrome in the same apartment building as me who just sits out on his patio all day, rocking and grunting like an animal. I wonder if I should tell his mother to stop feeding the unproductive little sot, who wouldn't know an episode of "Desperate Housewives" if someone put a TV right in front of him.
Posted by: Liberal Larry | March 21, 2005 at 03:07 PM
I agree with Larry (as usual) except I do think there needs to be some sort of "safety net" where a person has to be unproductive for a specified period of time (48 hours or something) to avoid having progressives under temporary phamaceutical narcosis from being turned into Soylent Green...
Posted by: Bubblehead | March 21, 2005 at 04:18 PM
What's all this heresy about 'productivity'? If I didn't know any better I would have thought I had just logged on to HELLiburton...
Let's be honest here, If we Kill off every un-productive citizen in the U.S. we're ruined come November 2006?
Posted by: nerdwallet | March 21, 2005 at 06:29 PM
Imagine being the citizen with the honor, nay, the privilege, to pull that tube from that suffering body. I'm quite distracted.
If I'm ever in that position, I hope I have the wherewithal to yank my own tube...wait, I mean..
Posted by: Mengele | March 21, 2005 at 09:03 PM
The mote is still suck in my eye. How do I, as a progressive, remove it? I have tried liposuction with no sucess ;)
Posted by: Ledger | March 22, 2005 at 02:09 AM
memo from Bush to Jeb:
C.Y.A. (if you're gay)
These Idiots are playing right into my hands again!!!
Once we establish a precedent for exterminating a life not worth living by a person who is "un-treatable". then I will use that precedent to kill all the Homo's!!! yeeeee-haaaaaaw!!!!
Mandatory HIV testing for all and if you come up positive well then it's curtains for you!!!!
Dick's already placed a call to Halliburton for some new "machines" to be made.
After all, having AIDS is an un-treatable illness, and a life not worthy of living!!!
These fools have misunderestimated me again. And by my pretending to be concerned for Mrs. Schiavo, I will implement my new plan of destruction under the helpful ASSISTANCE of the ACLU, GLAD, and NOW.
Posted by: Nerdwallet | March 22, 2005 at 07:35 AM
Oh good heavens! I am back on the asthma inhaler.
Che...please to develop your story more.
Moxie girl is a twit. Here is why we kill people in Iraq: Because they are trying to kill us.
Posted by: Cricket | March 25, 2005 at 08:12 AM
Cricket, how dare you expect these, "elitist intellectuals," to understand such a SIMPLE concept: "Here is why we kill people in Iraq: Because they are trying to kill us." Where is your nuance? Where are your, "shades of gray?" Where is your, "tolerance?" I know where mine is. It got buried on September 11, 2001! Kill those frickin' terrorist bastards!!!!
Posted by: JannyMae | March 26, 2005 at 09:24 AM
Nerdwallet, you hit on one of the things that really bothers me about this whole Schiavo thing. Where does it end? What is a, "Quality of life not worth living?" and who decides? Doctors are so often wrong. How many times has a doctor given a family, "no hope of recovery," to the family of a loved one, only to have them walk out of the hospital? Too many to err on the side of death, especially without further testing to establish the patient's true status. This whole thing is just so wrong in so many ways. Hawking is a prime example. Many people would say that they would rather die than have to live like him. He may have thought it, himself, until he was in that position. Damn it, if we had just elected Kerry/Edwards, this would all be moot, now. Terri would have jumped out of that bed by now, and be out eating tacos and sipping margaritas, and Hawking would be out of that wheelchair, doing line dances!
Posted by: JannyMae | March 26, 2005 at 09:32 AM
Larry,
As an advocate of free speech, I motion that we ban jannymae from this blog. Her level of hate rhetoric and personal attacks are intolerable and I'm begining to think she might be a Rovian plant...wheres my Reynold's wrap?
I know where mine is. It got buried on September 11, 2001! Kill those frickin' terrorist bastards!!!!
Posted by: JannyMae | March 26, 2005 09:24 AM
Unless, of course, she's talking about our military.
Posted by: Nerdwallet | March 26, 2005 at 09:45 AM
If you ban JannyMae you`ll have to ban me too, Unless you offer me money.
Posted by: Friend of USA | March 26, 2005 at 02:34 PM
Janny if I get a nice settlement I`ll give you half.
OOPS ! Did I type this out loud ?
* blushing *
Posted by: Friend of USA | March 26, 2005 at 06:10 PM
Hey, wait a second! If you ban me, you have to ban Cricket too! She started it! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! Nerdwallet, I beg of you! Cop us some slack. You must be tolerant of our pecadillos, as we are tolerant of yours! We all slip once in awhile.....You must, "understand," our imperfections and, "embrace our diversity," of shortcomings! "Can't we all just get along?" Has anybody fallen asleep reading this yet? Hello? H E L L O!!
Friend of USA, I'll meet you at the border, for my, "Cut."
Posted by: JannyMae | March 27, 2005 at 11:43 AM
Whenever I need a pick me up, I just read the title of this post. Hee hee.
Posted by: Blueberry | March 29, 2005 at 06:07 AM
Journalistic Asshatism of the day: (from a FOX article)
"After Schiavo died and a van from the Pinellas County medical examiner's office arrived, about 30 to 40 people gathered around her body as a hospice chaplain said a prayer. The group included Michael Schiavo, his brother Brian, Felos, another attorney, the hospice workers who had cared for her over the years, and the law enforcement officers who protected her in her final days."
Yeah, God bless em. [by Grim Reaper's orders] Put their lives on the line so she wouldn't ingest any of that flouride into her system that's in the water supply and the carcinogens & carbs in processed foods. Huh?...or as any true Marine would say: "WTF?"
Michaels agenda is pretty friggin' obvious, sticking his wife in a HOSPICE for years!?!?! And would someone PLEASE send George "i hear voices in my head" Felos in for a mental health evaulation. I wish I were joking. That whackjob is packin'--and free to roam the streets with his *goods*. aiyeeeeee
Now you know where that daggone bong ended up, Janny Mae! (~;)
Posted by: CKCat | March 31, 2005 at 07:40 PM
I've been reading up on Felos myself, CKC! This lunatic (seriously, not facetiously) is going to court in, "right to die," cases? *SHUDDERING*
Posted by: JannyMae | April 01, 2005 at 08:06 AM