Chalk up another 10 innocent lives to the red state's vehicle of choice, the deadly SUV. This time, the bloody tiretracks pass through California (a blue state, of course). An SUV parked on some railroad tracks forced a train to derail, killing 10 Kerry supporters on their way to counseling. As usual, the driver of the SUV survived without a scratch. The news says he was "deranged", so five will get you ten there was a "Bush/Cheney" sticker and a "Support Our Troops" ribbon on the SUV's back.
Needless to say, this tragedy never would have happened if there was a more fuel-efficient car on those tracks. While hitchhiking through Tahoe a couple years ago, I watched in horror as an Explorer ran a stop sign and t-boned a Mini-Cooper. The Cooper launched about 30 feet into the air, bounced off a couple of pine trees, rolled down an embankment, and was carried off by squirrels. All 100 clowns inside perished. Meanwhile, the driver of the SUV stood up on the road, laughing his ass off.
Such is the case in any accident in which an SUV is involved. The car is transformed into a mangled mass of smoldering metal, while the SUV that caused the wreck remains virtually unscathed. Is that fair? How many more limbs does Max Cleland have to lose before we ban these expensive death machines from the highway? It's high time we level the playing field so that wealthy, white collar suburbanites and working class families die horrible, screaming deaths in equitable numbers.
"...The Cooper launched about 30 feet into the air, bounced off a couple of pine trees, rolled down an embankment, and was carried off by squirrels. All 100 clowns inside perished. Meanwhile, the driver of the SUV stood up on the road, laughing his ass off."
And so am I! Holy crap, that's funny. Not so sure if I think making hay out of the way 10 people died today is so funny, but that is comedy gold.
Posted by: d00d | January 26, 2005 at 05:58 PM
So he got to change his mind at the last minute and ten people died because of it. Fry the creep!
Posted by: Cricket | January 26, 2005 at 07:54 PM
Actually to update the story, early reports are saying it was a "W President" sticker not a "Bush/Cheney" campaign sticker on the SUV. I think this pretty much shuts Cheney out as being responsible for these deaths and lays the blame directly on to the Shrub.
Posted by: I WAS THERE | January 26, 2005 at 07:56 PM
I did not post the above comment.
Really.
I didn't.
And no, you can't subpoena the transcripts of my meeting with the Buch-Cheney Campaign's Rapid Campaign Sticker Switcheroo Squad. Separation of powers. Executive privilege.
Besides, you can't prove a thing.
Posted by: Cheney W. Halliburton | January 26, 2005 at 08:25 PM
this woman is just another N*GGER! She is a sell out to the "cause"!
We need "social justice" and welfare for our people!
Here is a link to a really good website that should not be spammed by comments under any circumstances! EVER!...
http://www.8bitjoystick.com/groundzero/
now this gentleman has closed his comments to allow for free thought but i urge you to go to his main site and tell him what you think on his regular blog...
http://www.8bitjoystick.com
Posted by: jakob | January 26, 2005 at 09:54 PM
I am sorry i was off topic! i meant to say that you should check out this website...
Here is a link to a really good website that should not be spammed by comments under any circumstances! EVER!...you should read this website to gain knowledge of the proggressive movement! WE HAVE TO STOP THE WAR!!!!
http://www.8bitjoystick.com/groundzero/
now you can't comment on this website because he is a dumbass and so you should instead comment on this website where he has comments open!
http://www.8bitjoystick.com
Posted by: jakob | January 26, 2005 at 10:01 PM
Not one of us can deny the fact that , had this SUV been an electric vehicle or at least a hybrid , the train would not have derailed.
It is OBVIOUS !
The repercussions of not having put Kerry in power are becoming painfully obvious.
Posted by: Friend of USA | January 27, 2005 at 06:56 AM
I almost think the reporters were more anguished over reporting that a hispanic man was responsible, than reporting the event itself.
Posted by: Sciszor | January 27, 2005 at 07:56 AM
I didn't hear that a hispanic man was involved (Bush is the one who is responsible). All I heard was "SUV! SUV! SUV!"
Posted by: Liberal Larry | January 27, 2005 at 08:15 AM
Oh yes, a *deranged* hispanic man was most definitely involved, Lar. What you don't hear, however, is whether or not the alleged SUV in question was in this country legally. Not that it should matter. Where are your righteous dudes when you need them the most? Everyone knows this poor, displaced, and crumbled heap was a victim of a cruel prank, here to only work and send honest tax-free cash back home to feed its family.
Posted by: lilome | January 27, 2005 at 08:33 AM
There's a silver lining to every cloud.
Posted by: aelfheld | January 27, 2005 at 08:47 AM
On their way to therapy from the cuckoo's nest. Something about why Odessyuss got drafted for a war in the ME was because his insanity plea didn't stick comes to mind...
Posted by: Cricket | January 27, 2005 at 08:55 AM
The whole thing appears to be a botched suicide attempt, which means it's John Asscroft's fault for his religiously-insane crusade against doctor assisted suicide. If the man's doctor had simply been allowed to drive him to the tracks, 11 innocent people would be alive today.
Posted by: Liberal Larry | January 27, 2005 at 09:00 AM
Awesome... simply awesome. Thanks for today's lunchtime laugh.
Posted by: Bernie | January 27, 2005 at 09:27 AM
After all, if we would have elected John Kerry and John Edwards, all of the dead would have been able to get up and walk!
Posted by: Bubblehead | January 27, 2005 at 10:16 AM
I was deeply offended by the insensitive characterization above of the victim as "deranged." We don't use that kind of judgmental language any more. The driver was a "differently perceiving" individual, expressing himself in his own unique way.
Posted by: Occam's Beard | January 27, 2005 at 10:35 AM
OK so this "crash" just happens to occur on the 60th anniversery of the liberation of Auchwitz. How convenient for the President Select! NO MORE LIES!
Posted by: MaryCheneyIsALesbian | January 27, 2005 at 01:03 PM
Hispanic? Darn. I thought maybe I'd finally found my beloved Kool-Aid® Drinker again.
I won't rest until my beloved Kool-Aid® Drinker is back with me.
<passes bong, falls asleep>
Posted by: Kool-Aid Drinker's Domestic Partner | January 27, 2005 at 01:32 PM
See?...If the rest of Reich-wing Amerikkka had voted for Kerry, his first order of business would have been to buy everyone Priuses so that we wouldn't need to ride fossil-fuel guzzling trains. But no, the Repukes had to put that fukkin' chimp back inand look what we get?...blood on the tracks.
fukkin chimp!
Posted by: Strangelove | January 27, 2005 at 03:42 PM
Partner, I am impressed. I couldn't pass anything half that big without chugging three bottles of Metamucil first.
Posted by: Cheney W. Halliburton | January 28, 2005 at 05:28 PM
It's great, Liberal Larry, how your writeup made clear that it was the SUV that committed this horrible act -- any human was a mere passive element. People don't kill people, SUVs kill people.
Even though Rush Limbaugh is a tyrannical windbag, he repeatedly shows, correctly, that the mainstream press appropriately portrays SUVs as the vile agents of death - - humans only exist in order to give meaning to the word "victimization."
Posted by: Rutherford | January 29, 2005 at 03:22 AM
Rutherford, you made a great point about those deadly SUV's, which reminds me to remind everyone about the need for much stricter gun control. No private citizens whatsoever should be allowed to carry guns...except, of course, for Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore's bodyguards. After all, if we had no guns, there would be no murders...right???
Posted by: JannyMae | January 29, 2005 at 12:36 PM