They were warned of "rivers of blood", told that they and their families would suffer horrible screaming deaths for their treachery. But like the mind-numbed Jesuslanders of the red states, Iraqis chose to ignore the sober warnings of leading democrats and turn out to vote for their favorite CIA puppet anyway.
Some may think is a great victory for the cause of freedom, that democracy will now spread across the Middle East and force Arab leaders to reform their corrupt governments. But as it said on the side of John Kerry's campaign bus: Don't get your hopes up, kids. The last thing the Iraqis, or anyone else in the world needs right now is "hope".
Bush and his hope-spewing talk radio neohawks do the world a great disservice by hyping this "election", an election which is at best illegitimate and a complete fraud. It's easy to hail the courage of the purple-fingered sheep who sashayed to the voting centers under the protection of armed U.S. soldiers. However, a great number of Iraqis weren't so privileged, and were turned away from the polls on the simple grounds that they had 75 pounds of explosives strapped to their bodies. Many were forced to explode outside, where temperatures are currently in the low 30's and even the most stalwart Freedom Fighter risks severe frostbite. Their anger over their disenfranchisement grows, and they've vowed to fight on to remove the stink of American infidels from their homeland.
And so should we.
Ooh Ooh Ooh, I get to be first ????
Posted by: IWUZTHERE | January 31, 2005 at 07:00 PM
I just want to be the first to say I HATE the Republicans and all they stand for!!!!!!!
Posted by: IWUZTHERE | January 31, 2005 at 07:02 PM
I tried to ink my finger in solidarity with the brave Iraqi voters but it rubbed off in an hour or two. :(
Posted by: Amber | January 31, 2005 at 08:02 PM
Correction, I was not the first to claim hate for Republicans, Howard Dean officially beat me to that.
Has anyone claimed to hate the Democrats and all they stand for??? If not I will take that one.
Posted by: IWUZTHERE | January 31, 2005 at 08:05 PM
I saw John Kerry on Meet The Press yesterday, and was reminded that Hope Is On The Way.
John F. Kerry is a SMART MAN. While the Chimp has been putzing around with fly-by-night morons like Blair and Howard, Kerry has been meeting with our TRUE ALLIES: countries like Syria and Egypt, France and Germany. Nations we can COUNT ON.
The Senator has his finger on The Pulse Of The Arab Street... and it's not The Nasty Blue Finger of Fascism, either -- it's the Lily White Finger of an educated Boston Brahmin who speaks French and has read the Kinsey Report.
That's the kind of man I want in the White House.
Posted by: Bush Ate My Soul.... | January 31, 2005 at 08:40 PM
They should have listened to their mothers and gone before they went to the polls.
Posted by: aelfheld | January 31, 2005 at 08:42 PM
I'm surprised no one has picked up what that blue ink actually does. It goes into the blood stream to the brain and programs the poor Iraq's to listen only to Rush Limbaugh - they will all WILLINGLY give all their oil to Haliburton and become slaves of the neocons - soon you will see visions of Bagdad with people dressed in light gray uniforms with their eyes glazed walking in straight lines under the command of Dick Cheney. Their only hope is for the great freedom fighters to find all blue fingers and removed them from the bearer and burn these fingers before the control of Haliburton spreads like an alien invasion.
Posted by: Oaktown Charlie | January 31, 2005 at 09:09 PM
I watched this so called "election" and I noticed something, THERE WERE NO AFRICAN_AMERICAN VOTERS!!! Call Jesse Jackson, the people have been disenfranchised by the Irakkki puppet collaborator regime!
Also the anti-imperialist vote has been depressed by the fact that many of the freedom fighters have been forced to launch martyrdom operations against the US Stormtroopers! REJECT DEFORESTATION!!!
Posted by: Menstrual Rainbow | February 01, 2005 at 01:36 AM
The fact that Liberal Larry did not mention Halliburton even once, let alone the necessary three times for a piece this size, shows us how effective the pervasive and vile neocon fasssccist state has become. Do you think you can recover, Liberal Larry? I cannot support you with that "There is hope" schtick, or we'll have reason to believe that they've gotten to me as well.
I'm close to passing out or pukin' - - in the tradition of MIT professors and a former First Lady.
Posted by: Rutherford | February 01, 2005 at 02:52 AM
Depressed by the Iraqi election? Well, who isn't?
Fortunately, there's a solution.
Posted by: TheTapir | February 01, 2005 at 04:08 AM
What a stroke of genius strapping explosives to a Downes-syndrome mass of cells and telling it to run the Special Olympics 440 relay. That will teach those jack-booted thugs not to do a third trimester abortion. Saddam Bush is behind the ink-finger which is a fascist attempt to prevent people from voting multiple times as they did in Washington,Wisconsin,Ohio,New York, New Jersey eeeoooooh.
Posted by: redstateblueneck | February 01, 2005 at 06:39 AM
"Iraqi Election, Crock of Shilection" works too.
Posted by: Donnah | February 01, 2005 at 07:18 AM
Obviously this election was rigged, Al Gore is enroute to Iraq with John Conyers to make sure that there were enough French voters. How many times does Babs Boxer have to cry before Shrub gets it? Max Cleland's dirty dead legs are twitching in their grave.
Posted by: Gil MoonTitan | February 01, 2005 at 07:32 AM
Menstrual Rainbow: Why would there be African-Americans native to and voting for Iraq?
Posted by: Unenlightened | February 01, 2005 at 07:55 AM
"It's a joke, son!"--Foghorn Leghorn, circa 1950.
Posted by: JannyMae | February 01, 2005 at 08:30 AM
I've been reading a lot of stuff about the IraKKKi KKKrappi election, and one of the common themes seems to be the tension in the air, at the polling stations. Even though people were physically casting ballots, they were acting under duress and fear, which is a form of disenfranchisement in itself (it's like "doing the nasty" with someone you despise. Believe me, I know what that's like). How meaningful can a vote be, if you had to dodge bullets to do it?
It wouldn't have been that big a deal to delay the election until after ALL IRAQIS came around to supporting the whole idea, then people could have cast free, relaxed votes, instead of voting in a coercive environment like that.
Posted by: Starbux=Terror | February 01, 2005 at 08:30 AM
Exactly.
Kerry was right. No one should be hyping this election.
It's a disaster for American foreign policy - it has set us back at least 15 years.
If only we had listen to him...he had a plan.
Posted by: Bush Ate My Soul.... | February 01, 2005 at 08:51 AM
Everyone knows that the Iraqis had to vote or the insane zionist neo-con-vict PNACers would take away their food rations. It's just like the sick system they've set up in the Unenlightened States of Anazica, where voter registration is tied to welfare benefits, driver's licensing bureaus, and dirty book stores (that's where I was coerced to register to vote). Since we know that DIEchoad will be hacking the tabulators, you can bet that they'll ignore the coerced will of the Iraqi people and they'll claim the freedom fighters didn't win. Just in time for that fascizioevinazi Rangel to introduce his new draft bill! [Out of character -- did y'all see the DUer's jump all over Rangel yesterday? It was quite humorous. Back in character now] This s-election will only lead to more frauds where the last freely elected leader of the Iraqi people, Saddam Hussein, will be denied his rightful place!
Posted by: Bubblehead | February 01, 2005 at 08:52 AM
If only I could type... in addition to eating my soul, Bush stole the "ed" from the end of the word "listen".
That FIEND...
Posted by: Bush Ate My Soul.... | February 01, 2005 at 08:52 AM
I feel your pain. Bush once ate my halibut.
I stole one of his freedom fries in revenge.
Posted by: Cheney W. Halliburton | February 01, 2005 at 11:34 AM
Starbux=Terror
Coercive environment? How about, COURAGEOUS environment. If anything, each and every one of those votes is WAY more meaningful than the casual votes cast here in the US of A. How many people do you know that want to vote so bad they'll risk life and limb to do so, many on their hands and knees?! I call that a testament to the Iraqi people's desire for a better way of life..
Posted by: mecca3048 | February 01, 2005 at 11:42 AM
There are some here who think that going to the polls under threats of death is more courageous than having to wait 2, 3, or even 4 hours in a suburban Cleveland polling space, without even a Dasani for sustenance. I disagree. If you want to see real courage, look no further than the brave freedom fighters who captured the most well-known face of AmeriKKKan hegemony. (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x1202804) After his inevitable beheading, I expect them to put his head on a Barbie doll to fully get revenge for Abu Grahib.
Posted by: Bubblehead | February 01, 2005 at 12:30 PM
[Bush once ate my halibut...]
The HORROR! :)
Posted by: Bush Ate My Soul.... | February 01, 2005 at 01:47 PM
Speaking of disenfranchisement, all of these nazis who are crowing about the stupid "election" should just remember that the most popular political figure in Iraq was not even allowed to be on the ballot.
Posted by: Crouton | February 01, 2005 at 02:40 PM
Don't worry Crouton, I've heard from George Galloway that Saddam will win it with a write in ballot.
Of course as a feminist and senior Professor of Alternative Logic at UC Berkely the real tragedy is that Uday was murdered by US death squads (the Army). Do you know that he established rape room? How many leaders in the USA would go to such lengths to help wimmin who have been raped recover by setting up specialist rooms to serve them?
Posted by: Menstrual Rainbow | February 01, 2005 at 03:00 PM