In the wake of the devastating Indian Ocean tsunami, scam artists wasted no time sweeping in on the affected countries to exploit the tragedy. When the Indonesian government happily agreed to allow one such group to take in 50 children at an orphanage near Jakarta, they naturally assumed it was for black market kiddie porn and snuff films. But Muslim groups were horrified to learn that "WorldHelp" was in fact an evangelical organization that plies innocent children with warm clothes and food in order to "groom" them for Christian indoctrination.
"This confirms some of our worst fears that certain missionary groups would exploit the tragedy and the earthquake to enter into these areas and convert people through use of a disproportionate power relationship," said Ibrahim Hooper, spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations. "How many incidents of this type are taking place that we don't hear about?"
Throughout history, Christians have been responsible for most of the world's suffering. In their neverending crusade to transform the entire planet into one giant Red State, the Jesus freaks have stopped short of nothing, including genocide, in order to "convert the heathens" into churchgoing Republicans. In recent years, they've been under intense international scrutiny and have resorted to more subtle methods to bring sheeple into their flock. Thankfully, their latest plot was thwarted in time and innocent children were spared.
Sadly, it may be too late for many orphans already victimized by barbaric Christian charities such as WorldHelp. Under Muslim law, the ear of any child that receives the infidel's poison must be ceremonially sliced off with the sacred khanjar dagger. Afterwards, he is given sweets and ice cream. All the villagers gather to shower him with gifts and celebrate his cleansing. "Praise Allah in Heaven," they sing, "For Habib walks the path of a Muslim!"
The child is then dismembered, cut into pieces, and fed to wolves.
Another example of the horrible state the world is in because of the Christo-fascist hegemony. I was going to compose my own rant, but instead I'll use this paragraph taken directly from the most recent Mark Morford column at sfgate.com, since it expresses my feelings so exactly:
"Don't ask why God let this happen. Maybe ask, instead, why the vibration of the world and our treatment of the environment is so low and ugly and un-God-like right now that these things seem more inevitable than ever. Maybe there's a hint in there somewhere. Earth as living organism. Earth as dynamic barometer of our progress and awareness. Earth shuddering at our mad lurches toward war and overdevelopment and overpopulation. You think?"
Posted by: Bubblehead | January 13, 2005 at 02:51 PM
Bubblehead,
Congratulations, you've found someone with fewer tethers to reality than Larry.
Posted by: aelfheld | January 13, 2005 at 03:57 PM
I can't think of a clearer example than this of how these Jesus freaks are full of rage and intolerance. I can't imagine the venomous hatred that must drive them to provide food, clothing, and shelter to orphans and try to save them from hell.
If you are not thoroughly convinced of how vile KKKristian dogma is, compare the number of funerals that take place in American churches each year to the number that take place in American mosques. And they have the nerve to call the Religion of Peace a death cult! KKKristianity has been responsible for the death of hundreds of billions of people since the birth of Christ and shows no signs of letting up in its brutal rampage of hate and low self-esteem.
Posted by: Red Loser | January 13, 2005 at 04:53 PM
Pat Robertson.
It's all about Pat Robertson.
Global warming.
Hurricanes.
Earthqukes.
Elections.
Everything.
The dude is dangerous.
Posted by: spd rdr | January 13, 2005 at 06:30 PM
Gratitude is probably some kind of sin to muslims.
Indonesia just told the US military to park it's ship a little further , leave by the end of March and not a minute later , but to leave the hundreds of millions $$$ on their way out.
Ingratitude to non muslims must get muslims extra virgins or younger ones or free access to kiddie porn sites or something.
The US military should comply with their demands but secretely put pig meat in every piece of food they deliver to indonesia ; To muslim eating pig is worst than decapitating an american.
Why do we even bother helping them ?
They hate us !
Posted by: Friend of USA | January 13, 2005 at 09:12 PM
As further proof of the horrible atrocities committed by the Christian world against the innocent Muslim victims, is the simple fact that the death toll there has nearly doubled since the Imperialist Americans have infested their sacred land. It's not enough that a few beachgoers get wiped out by Gaia in a fit of cleansing, but those evil Christians come in and begin their genocide by feeding the people poisoned food, even wiping out entire villages and blaming it on the flood. Unfortunately, the Muslim leaders there are so polite, they can't just kick them out right away.
This horror is almost too much to bear.
Posted by: Hack Ptui | January 14, 2005 at 06:16 AM
It speaks volumes, that the imperialist US military refuses to leave its guns home, like the Indonesian people have requested. The babykillers could deliver supplies faster if they weren't chucking boxes with one hand, and holding a machine gun with the other. And think of the goodwill that could be fostered, if the jackbooted babykilling nazi imperialist myrmidon (look it up) machine-gun-blazing woman-and-children-slaughtering pissant nimrods would just put down their symbolic phallus' for a d@mn second and do something worthwhile to clean up the mess they have made. The Muslims would respect and appreciate that, but it will never happen under this regime.
Posted by: Crouton | January 14, 2005 at 08:00 AM
P rostelytizing
A meriKKan
T yrannical
R ich
O ligarchical
B igoted
E litist
R aygun
T ax-cutting
S on-of-a-Bush
O il
N ationalism
I had been ready to return to ameriKKKa to renew my fight against unbridled hegemony--but I see I am still needed here. Back to the beach!
Posted by: Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess | January 14, 2005 at 10:55 AM
Mark Morford, who I quoted above, has a new editorial out today that raises some even more salient points:
"It's a large and increasingly important issue, floating over our wildly pet-lovin' culture like a giant question mark: What do our animals deserve? What are their true rights? What constitutes humane or decent treatment in the face of a culture that casually kills millions of unwanted pets every year and openly massacres billions more animals for food and doesn't blink an eye?
And what infinitesimal steps, more broadly speaking, can we as a species take to maybe just slightly lighten the load of massive destruction we heap upon the animal kingdom in general and pets and/or food animals specifically?"
The man is a genius...
Posted by: Bubblehead | January 14, 2005 at 11:01 AM
Many thanks to Bubblehead for showcasing Mark Morford of the San Francisco Chronicle. Morford, along with Liberal Larry, is a true leading light that will lead the ignorant, brainwashed Repugno-KKKristians to correct enlightenment... and failing that, to the boxcars for the re-education camps. For more correct thinking and enlightenment from the SF Chronicle, see Harley Sorensen and Jon Carroll ( and many others too numerous to list.) The SF Chronicle, in a magnanimous gesture to diversity of thought, prints the ravings of Debra Saunders, a right-wing tool of Rush Limbaugh, obviously a slut and a tragic victim of masculine abuse/domination.
The SF Chroncicle-- a genuine beacon of hope, and not a sell-out like the New York Times.
Posted by: brainsample | January 14, 2005 at 11:26 AM
"Under Muslim law, the ear of any child that recieves the infidel's poison must be ceremoniously sliced off with the sacred khanjar dagger, afterwards he is given sweets and ice cream". Larry, thats not all they slice off. Like the Zionazi facist opressors in occupied Palestine they slice off other things as well, but Shrub's agents have infiltrated the Council on American Islamic Relations and have persuaded the slicers to go for the wrong head and give them a lobotomy instead.
Posted by: African Moonbat | January 14, 2005 at 12:33 PM
Brainsample -- Many thanks for your many thanks. I love reading all the progressive journalist/heroes at the Chronicle; that way, I can find out what I think without having to strain my brain too hard. (That's also why I like to read Liberal Larry.) I'm not smart like they are, but that's no reason why the neo-con Zionist Nazis should disenfranchise my vote and send gnomes to steal my underpants.
Posted by: Bubblehead | January 14, 2005 at 12:41 PM
Thank Gaia that those peacful children were returned to their rightful husbands and owners, rescued from the very jaws (jaws I say) of the KKKri$shtan right. It's a shame how the Bushit family for thousands of years has used Jezzus to steal oil from the French. Norm Coleman has my back on this one.
Posted by: Gil Solesdale-Whately | January 14, 2005 at 01:43 PM
L ofty
A ugur
R ighteous
R ambling
Y ogi
L oony
I diotic
B oot-lick
E ructing
R affish
A CLU
L over
Posted by: Doug | January 14, 2005 at 02:59 PM
W hat's
U p
W ith
T hat
N ew
T hing ?
D id
C hina
I nvade
N orth
A merica
A nd
N ow
W e
M ust
W rite
V ertically
L ike
T hem ?
Posted by: Friend of USA | January 14, 2005 at 07:19 PM
Gil: "Thank Gaia that those peacful children were returned to their rightful husbands and owners."
*Passes the bong to Gil*
Posted by: Red Loser | January 14, 2005 at 09:04 PM
Once again the Imperialists have violated the Geneva convention in yet ANOTHER assault on the religion of peace by sending John Tesh over with Operation Blessing! (Pat Ayotollah Robertsons mobile torture machine)
If only Michael Moooooooooooore was there with his cameras! DANG! [Dunkin' Donuts, Krispy Kreme, Burger King DO have franchises there, right?]
Posted by: Snow Leopard | January 15, 2005 at 09:52 AM
The worst part of all; these so-called Christians are dedicated to helping people REBUILD their lost homes and institutions.
Hello!! Clearly, Earth (not a planet at all but a living Godlike organism) wants people off her beaches, and off of Sumatra altogether! Does She have to draw you a more graphic picture?!?
Posted by: lauraw | January 15, 2005 at 09:57 AM
I think planet earth was still angry at Leonardo Di caprio for making a lame movie in that region.
Posted by: Friend of USA | January 15, 2005 at 02:16 PM
brutal
Posted by: David | January 15, 2005 at 09:12 PM
<snatches bong from Gil, spraining his hands>
Sorry, newbie. Seniority, yanno.
Posted by: Kool-Aid Drinker's Domestic Partner | January 16, 2005 at 05:32 AM
How could Bush be blamed for the tsunami?
Pretty easy to piece together: How Bush Caused It
Posted by: Korla Pundit | January 17, 2005 at 05:01 PM
Well of course Bush caused the tsunami , but he is so dumb that he missed his target ; He was aiming at the middle east !
Let's call this one a practice shot...
Posted by: Friend of USA | January 17, 2005 at 05:18 PM
It's similar to how he tried to engineer low gas prices before the election, which were to be followed by a huge spike after the election. Poor dumbass nimrod, he did it wrong and the price spike came *before* the election. Ha! Whatamaroon!
Posted by: Crouton | January 19, 2005 at 12:14 PM
I circumvented the bastige Bu$hitler new age oil baron$ and converted my moped to run on liquified gravel. At first I used weeds...no no the BAD weeds...but when I heard them scream in the blender I converted to gravel.
Its a long process to make the fuel and I would tell you how to do it but I dont need those NeoConVict© black helicopters on my ass AGAIN! Anal probing is a bitch with those Rethuglican nazis doing it all wrong.
Im digging a hole in my yard, well my parents yard really, to hide the apparatus but now Ive lost the shovel....I have to get off the roof now
Posted by: Reds suck my nads | January 21, 2005 at 11:15 AM